how can i love
and be detached at the same time?
when half of my foot is out of the door
but my lover is beckoning me to come in

water holds no memory, my dear
you'll forget about me tomorrow
but i won't
the wholeness of my being
encapsulated in your body of water
will stain the blanket of my memory
like coffee-stained bedsheets at 2 in the morning
too intoxicated with slumber to clean the mess
and so i just leave it there
body draped across the bed
with a mind and soul aching to rest.

my pretty darling,
aphrodite's beloved,
i will love you when slumber calls for my name
i will love you when the tangerine sun rises in the day
in-between minutes,
the fissures in seconds,
i love you in those intervals

i have taken sight of her
in all of her forms
every corner and curve
and i have never seen anything so implicitly
beautiful in my entire existence
i have seen her with outstretched arms
receive the
drizzling tears the rain bleeds out on a
sunday morning
i have seen her body
draped across the horizon
basking in the warmth of the unforgiving april sun
i have seen her blush
at  the sight of rosy pink skies cascading on her cheeks
i have heard her sing
when the zephyrs brush the strings of her eyelids.

the first time
and all the times after,
this encounter,
i will tuck it safely in the pockets of my memory
until death calls for my last breath.

often times I notice the universe doesn't want me in this place.
like cutting my airways short, sometimes it is hard to breathe.
or the weariness that climbs up my chest.
I know this fear is a void in me but I know it isn't empty.
the world is getting rid of me in subtle, subtle ways no one can see but me.

when you come in the presence
of her voice.
the calmest water,
and every melodious bellow
would be put to shame.

up until now, i still find you tucked in my ponders
under rosy-pink skies, birds singing as they fly by.
up until now, i still find you dancing in my midnight reveries under starry nights; i wish of you for every shooting star that passes by.
up until now, i still listen to the songs you've sung, beneath treacherous hurricanes that you love, where storm clouds hung.
up until now, the image of you still lives inside my head,
your name trails down to my throat,
along with the words i never said.
"i love you," i wish i said.
up until now, i still wait for you.
for our love is anything but dead.

sometimes my thoughts speak louder
than the vision reality gives me.
pulling me into a reverie
out in this place
called
reality

soar; as if its your last

and with the slightest touch,
the girl sets me ablaze,
completely,
utterly,
with every bit of me
is burnt crisp,
slow dancing in a
burning room
with you.

my eyes
melted in her gaze
like
marshmallows
on hot chocolate
beneath rainy days.

i basked
into her presence
warm and content.

please return,
so i can put you in spaces between words i never said.
so i can put you in the crevices of every ellipsis because words cant describe how much i want you back.

but God,
halata kaayo ka
maka assume nlang ko

its quality not quantity
regardless of the days, months, years
it was only for 1 night and i think ive
already known half of your life.

1 name, 3 syllables
i still think of you

actions speak louder than words,
yet those glances sneak on me just says it all.
they are minuscule but shouts a thousand meanings.

loving  you was like putting a gun through the head

you make me utter words
for you cannot get a single word
when i speak in full sentences.

we're like romeo and juliet
minus the gender expectations and suicide.



-a tragedy

i keep forcing myself.
i keep forcing myself to think that i still like you.
that i still love you.
im chasing something that isnt real.
im trying to light a matchstick that has already been lit
bu i pushed that thought aside
and thought maybe, maybe a mere spark might just emanate
the dull object.
maybe because i dont want closure.

i keep letting people break my walls once theyre done with the last brick they leave.
they leave me with the bricks ill have to rebuild again. over and over.
but im used to it. itll be like a strand of my hair that sticks between the tooth gaps of my teeth or tripping over the crevices of the sidewalks when "you" were aware of the cracks but chose to fall because you were stubborn kind of thing.

u are bad decisions disguised in tempations.

u admired me
from a distance.
and when
we
were 2 feet away from
eachother
only then i had
noticed you
fell in love
with me

i slept with grudges in my head
and now i got a headache
what the fck