I wanted you to tell me to stay
I wanted you to fight for me
I wanted you to tell me you loved me
I wanted you to tell me you missed me
I wanted you

Will you catch me if I fall
Will you tell me you fell to
Will you hold me tight and tell me you love me

I like hearing memories of my life better than actually living it that's why I like dreams.

She passed with bright lips
And wet finger nails
Freshly dyed hair
Sad eyes a broken heart
Torn apart
She fell in love
Look at her now

I feel like my insides are broken
I feel like a broken girl
I feel like i am the reason I am broken
I feel like I will fall apart
My broken parts might crumble to pieces
And then I really would be a broken girl

Dark haired girl
White skin that doesn't match
Blue eyes
Surrounded by black
Heart shaped face
Smile so fake
Hides the fact
She wishes to be a memory
She takes her razor and drags it across her skin
To know she is still there
When she's alone in the dark she falls apart
It's became her routine to cry at night
And rip her skin apart
When the red drips from her wrist
And the pain shoots through her
She's alive

You're gone
And I'm waiting
On time to speed up
Or to turn back
A temporary fix
We can't go back
There is no future
My love is strong
But I can't do it on my own
You try to come back
But I'm beginning to think you don't know how

Should I start a fight
Make rain pour down
Make the sky scream
Light up the night with violent lighting
Then you would see the pain I felt when you left

My heart says run straight toward you at full speed
My brain says run the other way
I think my heart is winning

Tears running down my cheeks
I saw your face
I didn't see pain in your eyes
Even though you were breaking my heart
I saw relief that you'd be rid of me
You never wanted anything serious
I guess it got to much for you
So you gave it up
And left me with my heart in my hands
So I had no other choice but to leave with a smile on my face

We all think if we were the pretty girl with the pretty face
We would be more
Having long shiny perfect hair
The perfect shaped eyes
Perfect cheek bones
Perfect skin with no freckles  
Nice body
Perfect perky *****
Nice shaped *** not to big or to small
Im not that girl
Im the girl with untamable curly frizzy hair
With eyes that are set to far in her face
Cheeks that turn red when I'm nervous
The girl with freckles all over
With a flawed body
The girl with tiny *****
With a big ***

I think it's about time
To let you go
While there is still good memories
We share
Words thrown like knifes
Like we're at war with our words
Wounding each other's hearts
Like soldiers in a battle field

The girl that's heart is broken
Isn't the girl she used to be
She's bitter and bruised
Her hearts like a puzzle
And He took half the pieces
She has to live without out them
As she learns how to live without him

When your heart breaks
It breaks
It's gut wrenching pain
You lose apart of yourself
You will never get back
But in the end
You are who you're meant to be

Everything's quiet
My thoughts are the loudest
In this meadow of darkness
I ponder my mistakes
I feel like I'm running
From everything that's hiding
Deep inside

When Everything's quiet
My thoughts are the loudest
In this darkness
I ponder my mistakes
I feel like I'm running
From everything that's hiding
Deep inside

You asked me if I thought about you
And I lied and said I hadn't
I wanted to scream
Because all Id done
Was think about you
In my sleep
While I eat
In the shower
On my knees crying
Smoking a cigarette you guessed it thinking about you

You say I'm stuck in the past
But the past is the only place we existed in
There never was a future
You Abandoned me
Left me with nothing but memories
I wanted a future
I had it planned
I dreamed a life with you
One that you never wanted
You weren't capable of it
You say it's not your fault
I didn't want what you could give me
But what you gave me was nothing
And I wanted something
Something besides nothing
You can't blame me for that

Are we just a ship wreck
Stuck on a desert island
Traveling unknown territory

Your always on my mind
Each and everytime
I go through the day
But in my heart you will stay
And beside me while I dream you will lay

I'm addicted to you
I make myself sick
When your not there
I Wish I had a endless supply of you

I finally see
Through all these tears
We can't be
More crying nights
Heart aching she feels it breaking
And with this broken heart
She sees it in her eyes
How much she hurts over him
She can't seem to let the memories go
But she knows its breaking her its changing her
And she can't help but wonder is it worth the tears

You scrambled my pieces up
Until I was so confused I couldn't put them back together
You changed me before I was truly who I was supposed to be
You took years away from me you took who I could of been
You made me something I couldn't understand
You made me a angry kid
You made me a messed up and anxiety filled teenager
You made me a confused adult trying to figure it out
I was a blank canvas
And you painted it
With self hate and panic and anxiety
And I will never know what picture I would of been without your brush strokes

When the tears running down my cheeks turn into my blood running down my thighs thats when I know I'm gonna be fine When I feel the blade sink in my skin I'm not brittany anymore in that moment I don't matter the only thing that matters is the pain the blade makes All worries all fear all negative thoughts fades away And cutting is the only thing that has had that effect and when I feel the pain left over from the blade or look at the mark I get a glimpse of that safe place again. I feel safe when I do it I feel like I let everything out. And I have control of what happens I know whats gonna happen

Im a quiet person
I might come off rude or unfriendly
But get to know me
And you will see
Im not rude or unfriendly
Im just Brittany

When we met I didn't know you were hiding behind a disguise
There was something dark deep inside
When I met the real you there was no turning back
I was in love with your disguise

Though Years have passed
I still visit you in memory
Your voice plays over and over
Like a old favorite song
It takes me back to a time long gone

I want to go back to the innocent girl I was not the one that knows hurt. Not the girl that knows how the world works.

They all seem so disposable
It hasn't always been like this
I once was the disposable one
The one that didn't matter
The one trying to keep her composure
I used to care to much
And now I care so little
I used to get head over my heels so easily
But the words coming out of their mouths weren't real
And I learned not to be the foolish girl
The one standing there looking like an idiot  
So instead I leave before they can
Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out
Running away like this

I feel this way
You feel this way
Im scared to feel this way
Just to let it all go
And be with you with no worries
It scares me
It scares me that I need you
That you are the only thing that makes sense
That you're the one
I feel like I'm diving in ice water blind folded
Not knowing what will happen
Trying to find something wrong
Where everything is right
Driving us both crazy

I want it to be how it used to be
Before you told me you had to go
That this was the end
Before you broke my heart
I want to trade my tears
For the laughter and the smiles
Id give anything to go back to your room
Where we were us
Where we began

I don't know why I love you
I don't know why I care
I just want you to love me
But I feel like you don't care
Maybe you don't know how

Your words were to late
And you didn't mean them anyway
You know just what to say
To pull me back
You get me right where you want me
And you stop
It's not enough to say sweet stuff
One day and nothing the next

I'm not good enough for you
Pretty enough
I don't have the perfect body
And I probably never will
But friends is what we will be to eternity

It's different now
My feeling are still the same
But I don't want to get to invested
You leave every second
And I can't take it
I will always care about you
But that doesn't mean I will always stay
Because one day one day
I'm gonna have enough
And its gonna break my heart
But I can't keep going in circles with my emotions

It hurts it hurts
It hurts to know its over
What we were
What we are
Nothing last forever
I wanted us to last forever
Tug pull tug pull
I can't take it

When we met I didn't know
You had a dark secret
One that would effect my soul
And break my heart
That would change my life
You showed me things I never dreamed of
I was there when you continued down a dark road
I watched you destroy yourself
I felt my heart break every time you chose it over me
I struggled with wether I should let you go
I needed you And you needed me
But there was something else
You thought you needed more

You can't blame me for what you've done
I can't help you pushed me away
I can't help you traveled miles away from my heart
I can't help the journey I had to take
To make my way back from your mistakes
You don't know the roads I've traveled
The tears I've cried the scars I've earned
The battles I've battled because of you
You don't know my story because you never tried
You can't expect me to feel the same after everything

I could say it was love
The kind that would thaw a heart
The kind that would make you new
And not so sad
But its reality
So it didn't happen like that
It didn't melt my heart
It did the opposite of that
It made me sadder
Because for him it was just lust
I remember every word he said
Every touch we shared
Each time his lips touched mine
I could ask him if he remembers
But I already know the answer
Ive heard it so many times before
"That was months ago"
I'm sick of those words
Because it was more than that to me
Not just time pasted
For me it dragged on
And I had no choice but to move on
Im not gonna be all dramatic and say I regret it
But I regret it
I lied im dramatic

Im scared to drown
And be left there on the bottom
While you are floating on the surface
Would you jump back in to save me
What if I drown you trying to save myself
And were both left there gasping for air at the bottom
Because you would try to save me
It's who you are
And I would try to survive
That's who I am
And when our lifeless bodies float to the surface
Were still holding hands
Because you never let go and neither did I
It's not fair
We died because one didnt want to get hurt again
And one just wanted what he felt

I want you to listen to me and hear me
I want you to look at me and actually see me

The knifes to her wrist
The pills in her hand
The tub is full of water
She is a terrible person
Never should of been born
So she's just righting the mistake
Right?
No wrong done here
Just fixing the problem
Without her you'd all be happy
So don't mourn her
Forget her
Like she was never there
Erase her from your memory
That'd be better right?
So she takes the pills
She drags the knife across her skin
She sinks down into the water
She is gone
No more wrong

I was young and naive
Innocent if you please
I didn't know what you were
I didn't know what it meant
You brought me into a world I didn't know exist
You showed me pain
Left my heart in chains
Your soul to blame

Memories run through my mind
I close my eyes and I can see your face
And my heartbreaks again
I can close my eyes and almost feel your touch
Your voice I can always hear
For your so close to me
You live in my heart

The scars on my heart doesnt make me weak it means my heart has been in love before

I wait and wait
For you to come back
While I'm waiting do you think about me?
Do you miss me
Because when you do this to me
I feel like I'm dying
This is not a game
You break my heart every time
So why do I stay
Why do you leave
And why do you come back
Even more why do I let you
I know the happiness we share doesn't last
As soon as it gets good you leave
And my heart breaks over and over
So why do we do this to each other
Why do you stay and why do I let you
Somethings got to give
We can't keep going like this
So Ive made the decision
Not to let you stay this time
Im sorry baby but I can't do this anymore
My heart breaks and breaks
Now one big break and the tiny breaks are gone

We're wasting time
Holding on to each other
It's time to let go
And for me to heal
And for you to realize you will miss me
It's time for you to be the one crying
For you to feel your heart breaking
For you to feel half the pain I felt

We're wasting time
Holding on to one another
It's time to let go
It's time for me to heal
One day you'll miss me
And I won't be here
It's time you feel your heart break
It's time you shed a tear
So you'll think twice before doing it again