I finally see
Through all these tears
We can't be
More crying nights
Heart aching she feels it breaking
And with this broken heart
She sees it in her eyes
How much she hurts over him
She can't seem to let the memories go
But she knows its breaking her its changing her
And she can't help but wonder is it worth the tears

Dark haired girl
White skin that doesn't match
Blue eyes
Surrounded by black
Heart shaped face
Smile so fake
Hides the fact
She wishes to be a memory
She takes her razor and drags it across her skin
To know she is still there
When she's alone in the dark she falls apart
It's became her routine to cry at night
And rip her skin apart
When the red drips from her wrist
And the pain shoots through her
She's alive

Tears running down my cheeks
I saw your face
I didn't see pain in your eyes
Even though you were breaking my heart
I saw relief that you'd be rid of me
You never wanted anything serious
I guess it got to much for you
So you gave it up
And left me with my heart in my hands
So I had no other choice but to leave with a smile on my face

You called me today you probably thought I didn't want to talk
Because I was short and hung up fast
But the sound of your voice took me back to old times
It also made me realize that we can never be how we used to be
That the past is just that and there is no future between us
Your voice still gave me butterflies
My heart started racing like it used to
I wonder what it felt like for you to hear my voice again
And what you thought when I didn't text you back
I didn't do it to be cruel to you or because I didn't want to talk
I did it because I can't handle the sweet sound of your voice
Something so familiar and something I used to call home
Ive worked so hard to get over you
And I can't let all that be wasted just because I hear your voice
You know just how to use your words to get back in my heart
I can't go back to that just to be left again
Just to have to start healing myself again
Because you won't be back for long
It will go back to unanswered messages and missed calls
And I can't shed another tear for you

I treat you badly because I'm thinking about myself
Im trying to keep you and thats all I think about
Instead of you and your feelings
Its not that I don't care because I do
And I do think about you
But I let my obsessiveness over take that
I guess Im saying I care in a different  way
I worry and obsess that's how I show I care
Through the same questions over and over
The more I ask the more I care
I obsess more when I care more
Its something I need to work on I know
I worry that I worry to much
And its killing me and its killing you
And I'm sorry for that I am

Im feeling so broken
Drowning in gray
Crushed under my self hate
Smothered under negativity
Wanting more

I try to let you go
But your in my dreams
My heart beats your name
My soul aches for your love
I see your face everyday
I think about what we could be
Without the pain
You make me happy
But you you break my heart
With everything you do
I dream of a life where you love me back

Im scared to drown
And be left there on the bottom
While you are floating on the surface
Would you jump back in to save me
What if I drown you trying to save myself
And were both left there gasping for air at the bottom
Because you would try to save me
It's who you are
And I would try to survive
That's who I am
And when our lifeless bodies float to the surface
Were still holding hands
Because you never let go and neither did I
It's not fair
We died because one didnt want to get hurt again
And one just wanted what he felt

What if I told you that girl over there.
Yeah the one you just complimented on how skinny she's gotten.
What if I told you that that girl is starving.
Starving in so many ways.
Yes she is hungry. In the literal way and metaphorical way.
She is starving but it goes deeper than that.
She wants to be seen. She wants love. She wants life.
She wants happiness. She wants to be pretty. She wants the things you do.
Hell she doesnt know what it is she wants anymore.
Maybe she is just like you in away.
She cant even pinpoint when she decided this for herself.
Maybe it was the first compliment. The first time a guy looked at her.
The first time someone told her she was pretty.
She wanted to be prettier skinnier better.
She doesnt even realize she is living in hell, or maybe she does and doesnt care.
She wants all these things that much. That she doesnt care.
And you are "feeding" into that with every compliment, every look and every word.
She has made herself weak. Weak in so may ways.
Mentally and physically. Now look again. You see it now. Dont you?
You see the circles the tiredness in her eyes.
Now look again you see the sad the hurt and the pain.
Now look again you see that she is me. Now look again she could easily be you.

Cant you see I'm crying can't you see I'm dying
You see the marks and scars don't you know I'm lying

Go find another broken girl
And then break her even more
Leave her in more pieces than before
She will never know what hit her

I remember wanting you so bad
Doing whatever it took to have you
But it faded and I don't know where were going
What we will end up as
I dont know what happened what changed
But I remember right when I felt it
It felt dangerous and sad
I didn't recognize it at first
Now that I have I want it back
I don't know if we can ever be the same
And the worst part is i knew it was gonna tear us apart
but i did it to keep us together

It hurts it hurts
It hurts to know its over
What we were
What we are
Nothing last forever
I wanted us to last forever
Tug pull tug pull
I can't take it

I overdose on you
Im like a ****** needing a fix
Doing everything I can to have you
I can't quit you even if I tried
Its heaven and hell your highs and lows
Im addicted to your love
I crave your voice
I can't let you go because I'm so tangled up in you
Ive convinced myself I need you

I want to go back to the innocent girl I was not the one that knows hurt. Not the girl that knows how the world works.

Ive always been told we all have that one. The one that will haunt you. The one you will never really be over, The one that changed your life. You're my one. I want you happy even if that means you're happy without me. If being without me makes you happy. Im ok with it even if I'm falling apart. Even if I'm crying as long as you're smiling.

How you tried to make it last
Did you really think it should
Now its time to let it go
Its been coming for to long
You just didn't want to know
Its tearing you apart
Holding on to something gone
Like a guest that stayed to long
Now its time for me to go

I could say it was love
The kind that would thaw a heart
The kind that would make you new
And not so sad
But its reality
So it didn't happen like that
It didn't melt my heart
It did the opposite of that
It made me sadder
Because for him it was just lust
I remember every word he said
Every touch we shared
Each time his lips touched mine
I could ask him if he remembers
But I already know the answer
Ive heard it so many times before
"That was months ago"
I'm sick of those words
Because it was more than that to me
Not just time pasted
For me it dragged on
And I had no choice but to move on
Im not gonna be all dramatic and say I regret it
But I regret it
I lied im dramatic

Memories run through my mind
I close my eyes and I can see your face
And my heartbreaks again
I can close my eyes and almost feel your touch
Your voice I can always hear
For your so close to me
You live in my heart

Another life broken
Adiction taking over
Hearts around you breaking
Nothing effects you
But another hit
In a haze that makes you forget
Your innocents is gone
What have you done
Where did you go
I lost you in the smoke
I cant go any futher
Im losing myself
Trying to reach you
Im getting ****** in
Trying to pull you out

You live in a box
In a song in my dreams
In my memories in my heart
You my love live in my past
I dream about you
I think about what could be
You come into my life
And leave just as fast
This is not a jump in jump out
Kinda thing
My heart can't take it

My heart says run straight toward you at full speed
My brain says run the other way
I think my heart is winning

When I'm with you I don't want to go
I want to hold you and never let you go
But you let me go so easily
How do you do it
I could hold you forever

Your always on my mind
I think about you everyday
In my heart you stay
By my side I want you to lay

I want you to leave
I want you to stay
I want you to kiss me
I want you to go away
I want to love you
I want to hate you
I want to hug you
I want to hit you
I want to make you hurt the way I do
I never want you to hurt

You seem unsure
How you feel about me
It got lost somewhere
Between then and now
I want your kiss
I ache for your love
Because my heart won't back down
Your missing out
Letting me go

You are chaos strong and pure
I am warmth on a winter day
Cozy by the fire
You are outside barefooted
Im safe and careful
You are wild and carefree
Reckless and dangerous
I'm ***** and innocent

I think it's about time
To let you go
While there is still good memories
We share
Words thrown like knifes
Like we're at war with our words
Wounding each other's hearts
Like soldiers in a battle field

I like hearing memories of my life better than actually living it that's why I like dreams.

I'm not gonna find you in the bottom of this bottle
Im not gonna see your face in this puff of smoke
So why am I on this downward spiral
I will always love you
Even if you're far away
When your heart belongs to another

I want it to be how it used to be
Before you told me you had to go
That this was the end
Before you broke my heart
I want to trade my tears
For the laughter and the smiles
Id give anything to go back to your room
Where we were us
Where we began

I fell for a fool
Turns out I was the fool
For I fell
Just to have my heartbroken

Your words were to late
And you didn't mean them anyway
You know just what to say
To pull me back
You get me right where you want me
And you stop
It's not enough to say sweet stuff
One day and nothing the next

I feel like my insides are broken
I feel like a broken girl
I feel like i am the reason I am broken
I feel like I will fall apart
My broken parts might crumble to pieces
And then I really would be a broken girl

I'm not good enough for you
Pretty enough
I don't have the perfect body
And I probably never will
But friends is what we will be to eternity

I was young and naive
Innocent if you please
Didn't know what it meant
To much to uncover
Afraid of what we might discover
Loved you like no other
How will I ever recover
You became my obsession

My puzzle pieces are mix matched
Theres missing pieces and some that doesn't fit
And some that just doesn't make sense
But someone once told me
You are made of many  puzzles
And sometimes the puzzles get mixed up
Theres this part of you
And this story
And sometimes the pieces get scrambled together
And they don't make sense
So you have to put it back together
Fix your puzzles
Fix yourself

You scrambled my pieces up
Until I was so confused I couldn't put them back together
You changed me before I was truly who I was supposed to be
You took years away from me you took who I could of been
You made me something I couldn't understand
You made me a angry kid
You made me a messed up and anxiety filled teenager
You made me a confused adult trying to figure it out
I was a blank canvas
And you painted it
With self hate and panic and anxiety
And I will never know what picture I would of been without your brush strokes

Like a storm you blew into my life
With a smile so sweet
With loving words I can keep
Like all storms
You led a destructive path
The aftermath
Left cracks in my heart
Nothing but tears falling like rain
Dark cloudy days to come

Everything's quiet
My thoughts are the loudest
In this meadow of darkness
I ponder my mistakes
I feel like I'm running
From everything that's hiding
Deep inside

It's different now
My feeling are still the same
But I don't want to get to invested
You leave every second
And I can't take it
I will always care about you
But that doesn't mean I will always stay
Because one day one day
I'm gonna have enough
And its gonna break my heart
But I can't keep going in circles with my emotions

It's midnight and I'm still up thinking about you
My mind is flooded of memories
Trying to figure out what went wrong
But was it ever right

She's empty,She's broken
She's full of regret
Life is not what she wants
She wants to be fixed
But she is scared she is unfixable

Isn't it funny that I got hurt because of the hurt in the past
Isn't it fun you left me because I was scared to get hurt again
That I was trying to protect myself and pushed you away instead
Isn't it funny I broke and you swung the hammer
Isn't it fun That I'm crying because I never wanted to feel the pain of losing you
Its so not ******* funny I lost you because I didn't want to
So not funny
If you cared you'd understand
You would get that I was glued back together many times
And didn't want to hand you the hammer
For I knew if I broken again that there was no more glue

I wanted you to tell me to stay
I wanted you to fight for me
I wanted you to tell me you loved me
I wanted you to tell me you missed me
I wanted you

I wait and wait
For you to come back
While I'm waiting do you think about me?
Do you miss me
Because when you do this to me
I feel like I'm dying
This is not a game
You break my heart every time
So why do I stay
Why do you leave
And why do you come back
Even more why do I let you
I know the happiness we share doesn't last
As soon as it gets good you leave
And my heart breaks over and over
So why do we do this to each other
Why do you stay and why do I let you
Somethings got to give
We can't keep going like this
So Ive made the decision
Not to let you stay this time
Im sorry baby but I can't do this anymore
My heart breaks and breaks
Now one big break and the tiny breaks are gone

We're wasting time
Holding on to each other
It's time to let go
And for me to heal
And for you to realize you will miss me
It's time for you to be the one crying
For you to feel your heart breaking
For you to feel half the pain I felt

We're wasting time
Holding on to one another
It's time to let go
It's time for me to heal
One day you'll miss me
And I won't be here
It's time you feel your heart break
It's time you shed a tear
So you'll think twice before doing it again