beautiful boy with the golden eyes
please don’t make me cry
the weight of your words changed my life
these feelings I have
I’ve never felt til tonight
in this moment it’s like suicide
taking my life
the decision’s all mine
I suppose it’s a toxic love
that’s really all I know
but I’m in it til the end
I won't let go

i am tired.
tired of life, i guess.
every day seems to drag on, page by page.
i am slowly withering away.
i don't even pretend anymore, because pretending is exhausting
and i don't have the energy.
i think i want to die but really, i just want to live again.
i am worried about myself.
i am worried about where i am going.
i just need help.
i just need someone..

i am tired.
and i wish it would just go away.

i will wait here
patiently
tell me we're wrong
but i will still hold on
i would wait
forever
just to feel your touch
don't slip away from me yet
my love

get me out of my mind
this insanity is unbearable
inescapable
snap out of it, they say
that's debatable
it keeps coming back
consuming me
haunting
my mind is
broken

cyanide
can you break my heart?
i am a drug now
burn into my veins
it is over
tonight

reminders can be quite important.

for example,
when you are sitting alone
feeling sorry for yourself,
it is a nice reminder to reread words you have written
and remember that you need to pick yourself up,
and that things will be okay.
the most important words come from within,
and it is quite motivating to be your own inspiration.

when you feel lost,
it is nice to be reminded that you are whole
and eventually things that are lost will be found
and life works in inexplicable ways
and sometimes,
it's even better than you had imagined.

and even if you can't bring yourself to see,
it is okay.
you will be okay.
the timing will never be wrong.
because days end and seasons pass
but memories last forever.

and you can go on
kissing her
touching her
loving her;
and i will go on
wondering
about what will never
be

and
all
i
have
left
are
some
******
poems
and
irrefutable
lonelin­ess

and i walked away
smoke &
peppermint
lipstick in my sheets
i thought i had won
but you were already
gone

because there is no such thing as
the wrong time,
darling
he just simply
was not meant for you

and
i hate
myself
a little bit
more
knowing that
you love me so
and
i feel absolutely
nothing

whose
mistake
were
you
last
night

i am so sorry
for
my lips speak
unfaithful words
but i still crave
your electric
touch

and
i pretended that
i felt
something
just
to make it
end

her bare shoulder
decorated wrists
shaking
her heart
beating
you thought
she was defeated
but
she was
unstoppable

and
i think
some part of
me
figured
it would end
before
i had to deal
with any of
the hard
stuff

and there we were
for one second rushing through millions, time felt like it had just...stopped
and it was just us
it was your lips on my neck
and your fingers pressed on my skin
it was our clothes strewn on the floor and my legs brushing up against you
it was the feeling of being desperately needed that filled the air around us
and engulfed our bodies

...you had me, then. you had all of me.

it's like the feeling of waves washing over you
his fingertips were dipped in starlight
lips sinking on my skin
and i was drifting away

because
they will not kiss your scars
and will not say
the right things
at the right times
even if you are crying
devastated
and
God will not
project down from the heavens
to hold you
and speak, and tell you
you are strong
(you must know this
on your own)
life will not stop for you
even when
you are begging
gasping for air
drowning in reality
endlessly in self doubt
but
you must know
**** the ones who made you cry
**** a God who stands in silence
as you pray, worship
for nothing
you are not weak because of him
you are not strong through Him
you are
beautiful
and lovely
and strong
because of
you
(and i think
that is pretty extraordinary)