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4.7k · Jan 2016
.
AK Jan 2016
.
Each sunday,
the owner's face lit up
as I popped in the neighborhood bodega
in need of paper towels, soap, toothpaste.

Occasionally, when I uttered the word “purple,”
his brown eyes glowed and he flashed me a smile
as he fetched the Trojan condoms behind the counter.

This week,
I came in on saturday,
he looked pleasantly surprised to see me,
earlier in the week.
until I reached the counter
holding tampons, desperate to stop my leaking body.

In my humanity,
I was no longer ****,
not worthy of a smile.
Nor the well wishes of a nice evening.

His greetings had always had an invisible price tag,
exchanged for a glimmer of hope.

The hope that his kind words would
earn him a discount in the time it took

for me to live up
to his fantasy
one day.
3.1k · Jan 2016
.
754 · Jan 2016
98.6°
AK Jan 2016
A
warm body
more
chilling than
an
empty bed.
711 · Dec 2015
lather.rinse.repeat.
699 · Jan 2016
.
AK Jan 2016
.
every morning,
you write your name on my lips.

fresh from the shower,
eternal record of a return address.
AK Jan 2016
Even on my strongest days,
I still miss you.
And on my weakest days,
I long to kiss you.

But,
who is to say,
what is weak and what is strong?
When being without you
feels so wrong.
632 · Feb 2016
40.716725, -73.963270
AK Feb 2016
Unseasonable warmth
embraces my winter white skin,
inspiring me top off the island of Manhattan.

I drink in the novel Brooklyn air
and inhale 3 ****** Mary's.

Tracing my reflection in the mirror,
unsuspecting.
the ***** glowing in my veins,
illuminating my fate.

I exit the bar,
floating like a blind firefly
into your cosmic black.
587 · Jan 2016
repair
AK Jan 2016
You see red running down the drain?

I stitched the cracks tighter,
my heart feels lighter.

I'm forgetting your name.
455 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
The sun kissed my cheek,
while the wind tucked my hair
behind my ear.

A gentle reminder
you’re always near.
448 · Dec 2015
Untitled
AK Dec 2015
As I sat alone in bed listening to the cycling whirl of the dishwasher,
I wished that I was ordering a second glass of Laphroaig,
feeling a warm glow move through my body,
drunk on an elixir of your laughter and scotch,
wondering why we had let three months slip away.

Yet,

miles and hours disappeared,

and it was

April 19, 2014,

and I was

terrified of how the night would

end.
385 · Jan 2016
baby
AK Jan 2016
do  not
scream out that noun in bed

it's damaging.

dropping
one on its head.
385 · Jan 2016
<3
AK Jan 2016
<3
You
stained my heart a color
too rare

to ever complement
another's.
379 · Feb 2016
new york city
AK Feb 2016
I ******* first months in the city;
a nauseating, fleeting sweet.

now, my tongue numb.
341 · Feb 2016
.
AK Feb 2016
.
With each taste,
I lost myself a little more.

Before I knew it,
I had bit my own hand.
330 · Jan 2016
L train.
AK Jan 2016
Maybe soon
your name won't be
searchable
in my brain.

A forgotten word.

As if the two syllables
aloud
were unheard.

But,
let's say,
my eyes meet yours
on the platform,
one day.

It would be no easy feat,
to maintain a
calm, steady
heartbeat.
322 · Dec 2015
Untitled
AK Dec 2015
I try to open my eyes
But feel an ache as
another seam rips
down the middle of my heart.

Hungover from the tiny white screen
I stared at for hours.
Investigating your once love-drunk smile.

Stumbling to the bathroom,
I meet my shower in desperation.

Hoping the water running down my chest
will act as a threat and
fix the ever-widening tear.

Instead,
I emerge wet
to find a foggy reflection.

Unrecognizably,
I’m beyond repair.
312 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
You don’t have to leave the airport to see the world.

From Terminal 5, you can feel humanity’s heartbeat,

baring its collective soul.

Pining for its roots.

Yet, extending its wings.
312 · Jan 2016
new york.
AK Jan 2016
time is suspended.

i’m floating, yet
slowly pulled to the earth
by my invisible shackles.

i have no desire
to escape.

my newfound freedom contained
in this swelling,
****-filled bubble.
312 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
four months or four seconds?

it’s still the same pain.
310 · Dec 2015
I love you
AK Dec 2015
The three of them,
mixing together for months.

Now,
were drowning on
my tongue.
But the sweet taste
hadn't soured
yet.

Until tonight.
With blurrier vision,
I saw clearly
to the bottom of the bottle.
The faster it went down,
the harder they were to swallow.

The words pooled to the top.
Swirled around until
one
after
the
other
d r i p p e d out.
308 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
the mysterious,
familiar scent of lavender

on the empty train car
alone,

transports me 1,000 miles
home.
295 · Feb 2016
Untitled
AK Feb 2016
for an after-dinner treat,
I stared at old pictures of you on my Mac.
I always loved the scars, so few and far
between on your baby soft caramel skin.
the imperfections reminded me of your humanity,
behind your seemingly airbrushed, composed face.
276 · Jan 2016
.
AK Jan 2016
.
hide yourself
in plain sight

&

the world will
never
find you.
271 · Jan 2016
.
AK Jan 2016
.
winter tucked us
into
a white blanket
of
peaceful sorrow
264 · Dec 2015
drowning
AK Dec 2015
legs aching from
last night.
treading longer
on the sea of our memories.

choking down your name.
I swallowed.
and suddenly,
it was easier to f  l o a t.
262 · Dec 2015
night light
AK Dec 2015
Lying here
next to you.

The warmest body,
the brightest hue.
250 · Jan 2016
cyanide
AK Jan 2016
Peach dripping
from the cloth.

Distracted me from your lips.

Okay, I said.
Okay, I repeated.

But I wanted to scream.
If only I had known

that was my last drop.
245 · Dec 2015
Untitled
AK Dec 2015
Distinguishable dot

Dancing,

Dazzling,

Delightfully delicious.

Delirious.
242 · Dec 2015
Untitled
AK Dec 2015
The wind chilled my already frozen heart,
briefly filling my hollowed soul.

Staring at the tiny boxes in the sky
Wondering what painful memories each one holds.
Secrets for the next tenant to inherit,
unknowingly, unwillingly.

Faded yellow street lines guiding
yellow taxis the same way.
That confident sense of direction,
lost on me today.

The sales clerk asked how I was
I processed her question too slowly,
Losing my opportunity to share the appropriate lie.

My feet met the ground with an awkward force,
disconnected.

Streets I’d walked a thousand times over
suddenly felt unfamiliar
as I fixated on new details
the cracks in my ribs let in new light.

A white butterfly found me.
222 · Dec 2015
Untitled
AK Dec 2015
everything was so primal.
heartbeat, nerves,
sweat.

desire upon your arrival.
206 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
a laugh line formed

but i tried to wipe it off,

seeing as you always did

to the chocolate on my lips.

you sat in my room,

keeping time.
206 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
freckles
eyes
lips
hands

keeping time.
forgetting, fast.

you're haunting me,
I can't look back.
199 · Jan 2016
Untitled
AK Jan 2016
You*
are
climbing into my bed

on a chilly night
and realizing
my spot is already warm.

— The End —