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Nov 2020 · 4.0k
Crack The Code
Mark Nov 2020
For real, keep it on loop
I dig it a lot, like mama’s corn soup
You feelin’ me, hearing that tune
Or maybe I’m in the wrong room
Get up on it, know what I mean
Jammin’ on hot scones with cream
This song needs to tell our life stories
We all have battles forever in our lives
When you hear the sound of pop pop, oh no
Kids gettin’ shot for a pair of shoes in Chicago

Tough neighbourhood street
Corrupt badges on the beat
Planting dope, selling candy at the corner shop
Writing songs, tagging everywhere, if you dare
Doin’ time, enter from behind, I never, I swear
Come out on parole, new king on throne, lost all control
If I had my time again, I’d save a lot more, forget ‘bout toys
Look over my shoulders, stick to the plan, escape from the boys

They aren’t speakin’ our language
Let’s get the hell outta there, somewhere tranquil
Day by day, lets see if we can crack the code
Try placing ones thoughts in a brand new abode
For better or worse, it’s up to you, not your corner crew
We grow up thinking we had to listen, who knew
Step outside the hood, look around, don’t be shy
Then buy a one-way Greyhound ticket, say bye bye
At the start it might feel hard, but give it a chance
You’ll be surprised what you find, just take that first glance

Tough neighbourhood street
Corrupt badges on the beat
Planting dope, selling candy at the corner shop
Writing songs, tagging everywhere, if you dare
Doin’ time, enter from behind, I never, I swear
Come out on parole, new king on throne, lost all control
If I had my time again, I’d save a lot more, forget ‘bout toys
Look over my shoulders, stick to the plan, escape from the boys
Nov 2020 · 259
The Drug Of Deception
Mark Nov 2020
Goodbye, addiction, my killer vice
I've come to realise it destroys ones life
Because a little starts a web of lies
As your true inner self slowly dies
And the person inside hides from itself
Blaming the cards you were dealt
Coming from within the drug of deception

In my search for meaning I just couldn’t wait
Took a gamble with an old schoolmate
Behind the now derelict, but once busy hardware shop
I blew it all up, until my head was about to pop
Then my heart felt like it was jumping out of my skin
That’ll be the last time, never again
Until my mind craved the drug of deception

And while in a crazy trance I saw
Three headed creatures, six eyes or more
Creatures stalking without a cause
Creatures nearing without a pause
Creatures appearing from nowhere on my trip
My mouth tight lipped
Caused by the drug of deception

"Help" said I, "I want them to go
Caused by a lost souls woes
Take notice my friends, save yourselves
Take my advice for it could help yourselves."
But my addiction like so many in life
All fall into the drug of deception

All of us in society at times have troubles
Try and find a way out of your mystery puzzle
The choice is yours alone, so never ever handball
All of us in some way, are marooned on an island
Wandering around trying to contact the mainland
But it’s free to move to another thinking way
So instead live every moment, of every single day
Better than being lost to the drug of deception.
Nov 2020 · 320
A Great Anthem
Mark Nov 2020
My childhood hero died in a crushing way
We came to his funeral the very next day
There were still flowers about and words to say
He left us so early with so much more music to play
Taken before he knew, his song had become a great anthem
He'd say "Mama told me, I’d been born with a silver spoon
Yep, I’d been born with a silver spoon

His young child cried, that little boy blew away his pain
Daddy always told him, he wanted his family, not all the fame
When you comin' home, Daddy, the sweet child would pray
Soon my son, he’s gotta entertain the fans, until there are none
You know you’ll be a close-knit family, when he’s all done

Church speakers turned on, then in harmony, everybody sings
We all said, "Thanks for the music, man, for what joy it brings
Your lyrics speak to us all, almost the same as the kings
Now laid to rest, with paper and pen, as we bow on down
As we left the building, kids were playing cats in the cradle
And we thought, Wow! Even the young ones feel the beat, yep
For real, Wow! Even the young ones feel the beat

His young child cried, that little boy blew away his pain
Daddy always told him, he wanted his family, not all the fame
When you comin' home, Daddy, the sweet child would pray
Soon my son, he’s gotta entertain the fans, until there are none
You know we'll be a close-knit family, when I’m all done

Well, one year later, we came together, again
So great to see you all, for those of us that remain
Guys, we rock to the same beat, while we’re still alive
We shook each others hands, and said our goodbyes
What I'd really like though, guys, is to have one more beer
So five hours later, we all agreed to get together every year

His young child cried, that little boy blew away his pain
Daddy always told him, he wanted his family, not all the fame
When you comin' home, Daddy, the sweet child would pray
Soon my son, he’s gotta entertain the fans, until there are none
You know we'll be a close-knit family, when I’m all done

I've aged quite a lot, since those hippy years
I now prefer to sip on shandy, than those heavy beers
I said, what, speak up, I can’t hear anything in my ears
They said, we have our problems, like remembering our wives
You forget your recent life, but seem to remember earlier times
But it's sure been nice listening to music with you, guys
It's sure been nice listening to music with you

And as they left the building, one by one, gone before me
The young would grow up, just like me
They would find their own great anthem, just like me

His young child cried, that little boy blew away his pain
Daddy always told him, he wanted his family, not all the fame
When you comin' home, Daddy, the sweet child would pray
Soon my son, he’s gotta entertain the fans, until there are none
You know we'll be a close-knit family, when I’m all done.
Mark Nov 2020
Baby, I’ve lost that happy feeling
I've lost my way since the day we broke up
Could you show me the path back, baby
I'm not coping that well, nup
You know me more than I’ll ever know
You could help me better myself, for both of us, maybe

I lay awake at night whilst
Whiskey bottles empty and drunk (Baby)
Staring into darkness until the sun shines through (Baby)
Can't wait for the next round of drinks

I cry baby, I just lay awake drunk at night
‘Cause I can't stand the thought of no you, no more
I cry baby, I'm dying of the thought, alright
So, when I imagine this, it’s you who I need, yo
Baby, baby, baby

I'm screaming out in pain
'Cause I can feel my days fading real fast
I need your help, now more than ever, yo

The bottles empty and drunk (Baby)
Staring into darkness until the sun shines through (Baby)
Can't wait for the next round of drinks

I cry baby, I just lay awake drunk at night
‘Cause I can't stand the thought of no you, no more
I cry baby, I'm dying of the thought, alright
So, when I imagine this, it’s you who I need, yo

I'm just reaching out baby, I’m trying to reconnect (I’m trying to reconnect)
I’ll always love you until the day I die (Until the day I die)
You don’t know how much it would mean (Baby)

I'm screaming out in pain
'Cause I can feel my days fading real fast
Baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby

I'm screaming out in pain
'Cause I can feel my days fading real fast
Nov 2020 · 1.9k
Corner Block
Mark Nov 2020
Hoodlum’s hanging ‘bout the corner block
Waiting patiently all day, everyday
Chose the wrong path, no coming back

Users two, that have no fear
Eagle eyed and bouncing here
Payin’ for a simple shot of gear

Death has struck that corner block
Legends leave, then newbies flock
Mothers pain, worse than news from Iraq
Yes it haunts us, ghetto lives
Slain by bullets and kitchen knives
Never able to wed our future brides

Users two, just felt the fear
Eagle eyed and bouncing here
Once done, nature will expel their gear

Whilst playin’ in the gangland night and day
Hoping his brotherhood won’t go away
Hoping as their bodies start to sway

Forever searching for respect
Wanting to live, but waiting for death
Hood life, that’s all you can expect?
Sep 2020 · 160
Mark Sep 2020
Painting lies on the doorstep of the countries elite
Old men hiding, while the hood destroy for fascist belief
Draw a thin blue line along the precincts orderly beat
Our enemy become enraged, then suburbia can’t sleep
Mention of war, makes Colonel Sanders feel so good, right!
It helps the makers of guns, especially all the men that knelt
Once the losers hand back their bibles, tools and money belt
We will become the same as the southern island overnight

Who are you going to vote for
It don’t really matter no more
The new world order will figure it out
And program the machine to adjust the count
Then one world government of socialist, no doubt
Only chance is to open up a bible and lets meet on the mount

So be very careful what you think you are truly wishing for
Once you enter, there’s no way out, it’s a one way door
Not long after, you’ll see it’s not at all, our promised freedom
All the grasslands and concrete jungles, renamed Yankeedom
Line up for food, water, healthcare, is this US or far left China
Now we’re not allowed to pray at night, come back Messiah

Who are you going to vote for
It don’t really matter no more
The new world order will figure it out
And program the machine to adjust the count
Then one world government of socialist, no doubt
Only chance is to open up a bible and lets meet on the mount

Be wise who you vote for and watch for the dead they count
If the system is rigged, the powers will have a case to mount
Bring back the old way days, one on one honest debates
Stop the press or there will be another war between the states
Black, white, yellow or brown, we all live in this freedom town
Don’t let the thugs, loonies, murderers or media, get us down
We are a Democratic nation, with freedom of choice
So take off your mask, stay in line and show your real voice

Who are you going to vote for
It don’t really matter no more
The new world order will figure it out
And program the machine to adjust the count
Then one world government of socialist, no doubt
Only chance is to open up a bible and lets meet on the mount
Sep 2020 · 78
Mark Sep 2020
Walking a fine tightrope amongst this life
Looking down, closing my eyes, now I’m in strife
Bobbing up and down, from the crest of a wave
Now crashing onto the shore, it’s time to be brave
I awake, with sun in my eyes and in a dreamy daze
Is this heaven? Is that God I can see thru the haze?

Open your eyes, more often than not
Live your life to the beat, not like I forgot
There’s to many things to do and see
Take it all in, feel alive, don’t become me
You have a choice in this, your only known life
Ask for directions, don’t be shy, you’ll be alright

How are you feeling now son, the man in white asks
I thought you’d never make it, thought your time had passed
I’m so sorry. I should’ve believed in you years ago
That’s ok, I’m just glad we met now, whilst your low
Thank you father, your presence has put me at ease
That’s fine, but I’m not your father, just call me doctor, please

Open your eyes, more often than not
Live your life to the beat, not like I forgot
There’s to many things to do and see
Take it all in, feel alive, don’t become me
You have a choice in this, your only known life
Ask for directions, don’t be shy, you’ll be alright

So I haven’t arrived in the kingdom of heaven
Thank god and Amen
Not yet, go home, rest and take the red or blue pills, again
Now living my life, never looking down, that’s my new trend
Hopefully when I’m finally laid to rest
Life’s mystery will end

Open your eyes, more often than not
Live your life to the beat, not like I forgot
There’s to many things to do and see
Take it all in, feel alive, don’t become me
You have a choice in this, your only known life
Ask for directions, don’t be shy, you’ll be alright
Aug 2020 · 58
Smiles Of Glee
Mark Aug 2020
I have seen enough of this charade now
I’ve seen all I needed and wanted to see
My thoughts are reminiscing my life, mainly with smiles of glee
Hopefully once I’m gone, I’ll be told why and even how

I exited via the green keepers, one way garden gate
Even though I heard gods free advice
But from the start, the devil rolled the dice
Now I’m getting dragged back down, to a fiery eternal fate

We all wish we could’ve stayed put, for eternity
Knowing the landlord would keep us sheltered forever, with certainty
But he gave us all a choice on how to live
So your job in life, is to teach, love and unselfishly give.
Mark Aug 2020
I always tried to live my life full of hope
Daydreaming the most while tugging on dope
Respecting the elders and teaching the young
Now living alone, the thought we never wanted sung
Searching for answers, asking the question
But can’t see the light, so never get a mention
I tried so hard, but maybe it has other reasons for me
Never a white one amongst the flock, I had to be free

We all have our problems and heartache in this life
Without an understanding ear, it can cut like a knife
If you can listen to this, never forget me now, please
Don’t leave them behind or their will might cease

Be in tune with nature, spirits and your main love concern
Listen up, listen in, take it in, give it back, it won’t burn
Look above, feel the sunlight open us up, during the day
Look down, see the memories from ashes, that we lay
Look ahead, but don’t ever forget the past
Look around, take it in, it could be your last
We might just turn to dust or we may be back to fix any faults
We bite an apple to release ourselves from the herding cults
Live life
Mark Jun 2020
From the 2nd diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.          
Its been almost two weeks now, since our unforgettable funny night of the colourful fruit falling down on us. So, I decided to take Smoochy for a walk through our village and then up and over the town's nearby grassy green hills.          
When all of a sudden, I noticed a strange, gigantic and really colourful object in the near distance. I picked up Smoochy and put him in my top left-hand side pocket. I then took off my thongs and raced like the wind, towards this strange, gigantic and really colourful thing.          
As we got closer, I realised what I had come across. It was a gigantic and colourful, hot air balloon. Maybe, it had crashed on top of our town's grassy green hills, that very morning. I yelled out, ‘Hello is anyone in there’? But, not a squeak or holler of noise, came out of that gigantic and really colourful hot air balloon.          
I was curious to have a closer look inside, so I took Smoochy out of my top left-hand side pocket and put him nearby. I climbed up into the hot air balloon with bare feet and all, to see what it was like, inside my incredible find.          
Whilst looking straight up towards the blue sky, I saw the hot air balloons large engine, that once it was switched on, would make a huge fire. A fire which you could imagine, would make you ever so warm. All of sudden, a gush of wind took hold of the gigantic hot air balloon and it started to take off.          
I yelled out to Smoochy to help me, but quickly realised, he was only a grouse, new, pet mouse and would not understand me. The balloon started to bounce down the hill and was nearing the edge. Smoochy had jumped onto the end of a dangling rope and was hanging on by the skin of his teeth, while I was hanging on, for my dear young life.          
I screamed out to Smoochy, ‘Start climbing up the rope and don’t be scared’. Finally, Smoochy made it into the balloons basket and popped straight into my top, left-hand side pocket where he felt safe, once again. So, maybe Smoochy does understand me after all. The hot air balloon was getting higher and higher and further away from my home, heading towards the famous Bearfeet Ridge mountain tops.          
Ouch Ouch Ouch, I yelled out to Smoochy for help, again, again and again. Because, when I was running in bare feet, towards the strange, gigantic and really colourful object, I stepped on some prickles and it didn't at all, feel like funny feet tickles. I carefully pulled them out, one by one; all those pointy, painful prickles that were making my bare feet sore.          
I had an idea to get us off this fast moving hot air balloon. I pulled out my very super, sporty, single-shot, stylish slingshot from my back pocket and put one of those pointy, painful prickles into place on the slingshot that had been stuck in my feet.          
Bang, my first shot made a hole in the balloon and it started to drop down slowly over the treetops. But then, with an almighty, Thump, it stopped with a jolt and came to a complete and sudden halt.          
The dangling rope Smoochy had used to climb in with me, had tangled around a tree branch. It had miraculously landed, the hot air balloon right on top, although, on a very steep angle. I stood up and wiped the sweat off my brow and thought, ‘Wow, what a fun ride'.          
I climbed over the edge and onto a large limb and started to climb down carefully, branch by branch. Then, I heard very loud moans and growls coming from way down below. As I looked down, I felt excited and very lucky, but at the same time, I felt very nervous deep down inside.          
Smoochy, had peaked his head out and started to tremble, for what we were seeing had to be, that 'mysterious and rarely seen, yellow tailed, bear family'. Which a few older towns' people, have claimed to have seen.          
But the bears were looking, oh so very hungry, patient and keen. Then from afar, I heard people yelling out, 'Don’t move Stewy, stay where you are, for we’re almost there'.          
It was my Dad Archie and Sergeant Bill Stilrite from our local police station. Luckily, Dad had seen Smoochy and I, with his trusty homemade, fancy, far out, funny binoculars through the small, round shaped, backdoor window of his unusually built and outrageously painted, outback, backyard shed.          
He couldn't believe it, when I jumped into the balloon and it started to move. So, he had raced to his car and yelled out to my Mum Flo, ‘Call the local police now, on 000 and don't be slow’. Then my Dad started following us by car, from well down below.          
The police Sergeant Bill Stilrite along with my Dad, had both managed to follow us, in their very fast cars, right up until we came to a complete and sudden halt. The screaming of my Dad and Sergeant Bill Stilrite, had scared off the mysterious and rarely seen yellow tailed, bear family, making them all bolt.          
Now, safely back home and with an amazing, gigantic and really colourful hot air balloon tale to tell. I just don't know if my family and folks, will ever really believe that Smoochy and I saw the mysterious and rarely seen, yellow tailed, bear family, oh well.          
At least Smoochy was there and knows our adventures were fun and for real. Hopefully one day, I will write some books, about my childhood fun adventures and then, just maybe, try to sell them, for a buck or two.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Jun 2020 · 2.5k
A Colourful Fruit Blast
Mark Jun 2020
From the 1st diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.            
Hi, my name is Stewy Lemmon and I’m your normal, everyday, friendly, country boy, who lives about 2 hours away from the big city lights. My family’s home is nestled amongst the trees on a hill in a little country village called, 'Shimmerleedimmerlee'.

It's located just a little north west from the famous town of Bearfeet Ridge. Famous of course, because of the mysterious and rarely seen yellow tailed bear family, that is said to inhabit the nearby treed mountain range. The town's people have even given the rarely seen bear family sightings, a nickname called, 'Bearfeet Yellow Tales'.            
My family is made up of one much younger brother, named Lemmy; two much older, identical, twin sisters named, Emma and Jemma, and my proud parents, Archie and Flo.            
On Christmas day this year, I received a pet mouse as one of my presents. I quickly named him Smoochy, after he suddenly jumped up and kissed me on the cheek, then fell into my top left-hand side pocket. From that moment on, I knew that Smoochy and I, would have such fun times and great adventures together.            
This Christmas afternoon was especially hot, so my Mum Flo cut up some healthy and yummy assorted fruit for the family, as a snack and placed it on the table, which was placed in between, the two large trees in the backyard.

I especially love bananas, apples, oranges, grapes and lots of watermelon mixed together in my bowl. I named this creation 'A colourful fruit-blast'. It’s so much fun to eat, although, my little brother Lemmy only likes bananas in his bowl, with a dash of sweet honey.            
My two much older identical twin sisters named, Emma and Jemma, love to eat only green celery sticks and plain yogurt on hot days. Smoochy also ate some of my delicious, colourful fruit-blast and even drank a little of my icy, strawberry flavoured, thick shake, through his very own, home-made straw.

My Dad Archie, is very handy at making things out of wood, metal and even plastic and loves to paint unusual designs on whatever he makes. Dad does all of his, building and painting in his unusually built and outrageously painted backyard, outback shed.            
So, after he had some of Mum's afternoon fruit snack, Dad built a mouse house, for my grouse, new pet, mouse called, Smoochy. Dad even hand painted it with such colourful flair, from using his artistic nous. But, when I placed Smoochy, into his newly painted, mouse house, the paint wasn't dry enough, and he got yellow paint all over his, oh-so-cute tail.  
After my Dad Archie, had finished the grouse, new pet, mouse house, he thought, what could he make for me, as a New Year’s Eve surprise present. He quickly thought of a great idea and headed off to his, unusually built and outrageously painted, outback, backyard shed.            
Dad was busy for days, coming and going from his backyard shed and snoring so loudly, while taking short naps on our backyard hammock.            
Also, Dad kept taking pieces of Mum's colourful fruit snack, but only very small amounts at a time, from her ever so clean kitchen. Then, sneaking it all back into his, very hard to say shed. You know, the one in the backyard.  
My Dad had finally finished building my surprise present, just in time for New Year’s Eve. Then, because we were hosting a party at our house, at about 11.50 pm, my entire family, neighbours, friends, Smoochy and I were all waiting outside, in the backyard for the clock to strike 12.00 midnight.
With only 10 minutes to go my Dad, rushed off to his, you know where. Yes that's right, his unusually built and outrageously painted, outback, backyard shed and brought out my surprise. You will never guess what it was, for it was radically recycled, rather refined, remarkably robust and really red. Have you guessed correctly? Anyone? No? Okay, I will tell you what it was. It was my very own really red, reusable, retro rocket.            
When I saw the rocket that my dad had built for me, I was over the moon with happiness and I had a smile on my dial, that felt like it was almost as long as about a mile.            
All of a sudden, all of my family members, neighbours, friends and I started screaming out 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1. We all shouted out together, at the top of our voices HAPPY NEW YEAR. Then my Dad helped me light my, really red, reusable, retro rocket surprise and we both stood back, to see it take off and fly into the sky. My Dad told me, it was especially built to create, a fireworks display in the night sky and then return back to us. All so we could reuse it again, for next year.
All of a sudden, it took off so high into the night sky, I thought my new, radically recycled, rather refined, remarkably robust, really red, reusable, retro rocket surprise, was going to the moon and may never come back down to earth.            
But then we heard a loud bang, the top of my rocket separated from the main body of the rocket and exploded into bright colours all over the night sky.            
After a while though, my entire family, our neighbours and our friends, felt things dropping onto their clean party attire. People had red blobs on their backs; yellow splats on their shirts and even some on their skirts; small orange flecks on their faces and a few people had small black bits, dropping into their top, left-hand side pockets.            
"It's my colourful fruit snack, coming down from the night sky", yelled Mum. So she went searching through the crowd for my Dad. When she found him, he was chuckling with laughter.

He told us all, ‘That he had packed the radically recycled, rather refined, remarkably robust, really red, reusable, retro rocket, full of Stewy's favorite fruit. Also, because fruity, firework explosives would really make the sky, so much more colourful to the eye, and ever so tasty in our mouths’.
My Dad wanted to make as many colours as he could for the fireworks display. He used some of Mum's colourful fruit, which included, apples, bananas, watermelons, grapes and oranges.            
Even Smoochy was getting hit by the furiously flying, fast falling, fantastically funny, fabulous family fruit by Flo, through the small gaps, in his newly built, freshly painted, grouse, pet mouse, house. It was the best surprise I have ever seen, come out of that unusually built and outrageously painted, backyard, outback shed.            
Oh, what a fun and tasty New Year's Eve party we all had, on that, oh, so wonderful and colourful fruit blast of a night, in my little country village of 'Shimmerleedimmerlee'.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Jun 2020 · 1.8k
Lucky 13 Big Trip Dip
Mark Jun 2020
From the 12th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.

This week my whole family, Smoochy and I, all headed off by car, to the annual big city fair on Friday the 13th. Some people believe an unlucky day of the year and an unlucky number for most. It was a big trip for the whole family, which took about two hours and twenty-five minutes to get there. But, we all still looked forward to it coming around each year, despite the long drive.

I had been to the big city fair, for every year that I can remember. My parents have been going there, every year since they were my age. I thought, 'Man, they must be old now, maybe one hundred and two years old or even a lot more'.

The food stalls were packed full of snacks and different makes of cakes and all kinds of different, yummy-in-your-tummy things, for us kids to eat.

There were stalls selling: Creamy Caramel Cup-Cakes, Limited Edition Lollipop Layered Lamington's and even some, short, swirly, Shortbread Slices. Even, my mum and two, much older, identical, twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, had set up their very own food stall. They, were selling heaps of my colourful creation named, 'A Colourful Take-Away Fruit-Blast In A Bag'.

They, were even selling, clear plastic cups along with a spiral-shaped straw.

But, only for the people, who emailed me for the secret, Jiggy-Jiggy Side-Kick Creation instructions, which was in my third diary entry named, 'Water off a Ducks Back'. Only then, will you remember what the plastic cups are for and how to perform the all important, Jiggy-Jiggy.

There were so many fun rides at the annual big city fair, for all of the kids to enjoy. Like the dodgem cars, a jumping castle and the pirate ship, 'my favourite ride of all time'. I loved sitting at the very back of the pirate ship because, it made me feel really funny in the tummy.

Towards the end of the day, my dad, had bought a ticket in the, Big city annual lucky dip first prize, surprise raffle. He had never been lucky in the big city raffle, all of the previous years before. So, this time, he didn't pick his usual lucky number 7, but instead he picked number 13 and guess what? 'He won the first prize surprise'.

We all went to see what the first prize was, at this year's annual lucky dip surprise raffle. It was a family holiday to thirteen of the world's most colourful cities. The whole family screamed, with joy. But, I then slapped my face a little and said to myself, 'Is this another dream of mine'? 'Nope! this one's for real', mum told me, with glee.

The day had arrived, for the start of our colourful, lucky-dip, big 13, city trip adventure. We had, packed all our bags and I even put in my dad's trusty, fancy, far out, funny binoculars and my very, super, sporty, single-shot, stylish slingshot. Just in case, I needed them both on our exciting city adventures.

My two, much older, identical, twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, had packed their bags full of makeup, creams and a hair styling dryer. While, Lemmy, had his bag packed by our dear mum, Flo, along with her own. While, dad went to his unusually built and outrageously painted, backyard, outback, shed and gathered his tools and paint brushes for the trip.

We headed to the airport, to start our first leg of our adventure to London England. On the first day, we went to visit the queen, in her very large house named, Buckingham Palace. The palace guard's face's didn't move one bit. Even, when dad, tried to make them laugh, with a funny joke or pulling faces at them, to make them smile.

Then, off we went, to see Big Ben. It was built years ago along the river Thames. We, then went to see some old rocks called, Stonehenge. Nobody knows exactly, why they were made. Their just placed, all alone, located in the middle of a large field, gathering moss and all still on show.

We then took a ferry ride across the English Channel and hopped off in the Netherlands. We all stayed in the very colourful city of Amsterdam. Mum, loved all of the beautiful flowers and my two, much older, identical, twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, especially loved trying the, unusual sweet cakes and drinks in the many cafes all spread about town. While dad, Lemmy, Smoochy and I, really enjoyed riding the bikes along the paths, on the side of the long and winding canals.

Then, we went to the beautiful, but cold country of Norway. We stayed in the capital city of Oslo. We took a boat ride through the icy fjords and I even thought, I saw that whale that winked at me, on that adventurous day out at, Slip-Slop-Slap Bay.

We then went by bus up north to see the Aurora Lights. Wow! what a sight. It was like daytime, even at ten thirty at night.

I even thought maybe, Stefan Pettersson from North Poland the ski instructor at Shivermytimbers Ski Lodge, lived close to here.

Next city was Paris the city of lights in the country of France. We went up the Eiffel Tower and I pulled out dad's fancy homemade binoculars from my bag and had such wonderful views of the city and then took a taxi for a ride through the streets of Paris and even went under the historical Arc of Triumph. Then we all went to see the great artwork and sculptures at a place called the Louvre. We saw a serious painting of a sad lady named Moaning Lisa; at least that's what I think the tour guide said.

The next morning we boarded a small plane and landed in the very watery city of Venice in Italy. I thought we were going to land on water, just like Buck the Duck does back at the small village pond. The city is surrounded by water and everyone travels by a small boat called a gondola which weavestheir way through the water canals and under all the old bridges. Smoochy even climbed up into the top left-hand side pocket of the Italian man sailing the boat, to get a better view. The food was so colourful in Italy, like the spaghetti, pizzas and delicious and colourful gelato.

Egypt was our next adventure stop and we went to the ancient city of Cairo. The very old Pyramids were out of this world, with precision angles and stones that fitted together ever so well. A cruise on the long Nile River was very exciting to see as well. It went from one end of the country to the other, but we only travelled on it for a mile or so.

Then off to Thailand and to the capital city named Bangkok, the busiest city of them all. There were cars, taxis, two wheeled motorbikes and funny three wheeled colourful ones called

Tuk-tuks. There was traffic and people everywhere we went and a lot of confusion by the Lemmon's when trying to cross the busy streets. We even visited some very old Buddhist Temples in the countryside and had some lunch that was extremely hot stuff, which made us all, puff. They gave us bread and water to cool our mouths down afterwards. Mum said, oh what a colourful and spicy city it is, and I love there ancient culture and friendliness of their people.

Off to the big red and easy going country of Australia tomorrow. We visited a place in the middle of nowhere called Alice Springs, which was in the Northern Territory of Australia. The next day we climbed up a rock named Uluru that was a sacred area for Aboriginals, the original inhabitants of Australia. We took a trip to a beautiful area up north of the Northern Territory called Kakadu National Park. Where we saw big red kangaroos, crocodiles and even some emus. One kangaroo even to try and box dad, but dad ran away and said, ‘He would fight him, but he forgot his gloves’.

We then headed off to China and the island of Hong Kong. What a very old and colourful city it was, with so many colourful buildings to see. In the large harbour we saw painted fishing and food boats cruising around.

Brazil Rio de Janeiro was next and we even saw the famous Carnival, with people dancing to a very cool beat. All dressed up and having the best party of all time. Down on the beach people were swimming and surfing and lying about in the sun. We even went to see a football match with USA v Cameroon playing, oh so well, for the winner would get its hand on a large world cup. We also saw a very large statue of an important man perched on a mountain.

USA was the last country to visit before our adventures would come to an end. We landed in Los Angeles and went straight to the magical kingdom of Disneyland. We did a day tour of Universal Studios where they make all the great movies.

Off to Nevada we drove and stayed one night in the ever so bright Las Vegas, oh what colourful sites we saw from our seventeenth floor suite hotel window. There were so many colourful casinos stretched out as long as you could see which light up at night alright. Dad even said you could see the lights from outer space. The next day we took a flight over the Grand Canyon in a Hot Air Balloon. We saw beautiful waterfalls and even saw people on donkeys riding down far down below.

New York was our last city to visit; it was especially dad's favourite city, because his ancestors had lived there for years, before coming to live in our village of Shimmerleedimmerlee to start a family, all those years ago.

The Empire State Building was an historic tall building that even once had a gorilla on top making a movie. Statue of Liberty was so fun to climb up and see all the lights of New York from across the Hudson River.

We took a horse drawn carriage ride in Central Park and even saw a memorable garden for the ex-Beatle John Lennon.

While travelling the New York subway to get to Soho we saw some great graffiti artwork sprayed on council approved walls.

The next day we were heading back home, which is nestled amongst the trees on a hill, in a little country village, called Shimmerleedimmerlee.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Mark Jun 2020
From the 11th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.  
Smoochy, my dad Archie and I, all went sailing yesterday morning, in the very large blue ocean. We went on dad's small, banana-shaped, sailingboat, which took about two hours to get there by car, from my family's home. Which, is nestled amongst the trees on a hill, in a little country village called, Shimmerleedimmerlee.  
It was my second time out in dads small, banana-shaped, sailingboat. But, it was Smoochy's first time in a boat on water. Although, he is famous around town, for being the first mouse, that has been out to sea, on the back of a whale.  
My Dad, was trying to teach me how to steer the boat, tie up the ropes, weigh anchor and all sorts of other boatie, thingy-me-jiggy things, that you should learn. That's if, you ever want to sail a boat by yourself, especially when you are older, like I will hopefully do one day.  
We were learning a lot and enjoying the morning together, until my dad, moved the sail, riggy-diggy-thingy. You know, the thing that helps all sailboats stay on course and turn when they want. 'You know what I mean, don't you'?  
But, silly old me didn't move out of the way in time. Whack, went the riggy-diggy-thingy, wooden beam thing, straight into my head and then thump, I fallen down backwards, which caused a bump on the back of my head, that was clearly the size of a bumpity-bump, speed ****.  
Then, dad's, small, banana-shaped, sailingboat, started sailing towards a colourful pirate ship, that had an unusual Jolly Roger, an old pirate's flag on top of its mast. It looked like a picture of a family of yellow tailed bears under a tree, in a mountain range with a hot air balloon stuck high above. The name of the ship, which was spelt out across its bow was, Shift-N-About.  
When, we were beside the pirate ship, we climbed up Jacob's ladder, onto the ship. Then, some funny looking crew members, named, Anastasia and Houllio, welcomed me aboard and said, 'Ahoy, me Hearty'! I looked in disbelief and said back to them both, ' Hello, my friends, haven't I seen you perform somewhere before'?  
Then, Johnny whose nickname was, 'Hamanail', the ships very own handyman, and his apprentice named, Little Cutsaw Stevie, threw me into the corner and tied me down tight with some, really awful, fish smelling, rope.  
Smoochy, The Short, who wore a yellow feather tail in his hat, was the ships lookout officer. With his trusty homemade, fancy, far out, funny binoculars, he would look out for trouble, while nestled, high up above, in the ships crow's nest. Which, by the way, looked very much like my dad's, unusually built and outrageously painted, backyard, outback shed.  
The pirate ship also had its own mascot and his name was, Bucko the Duckaneer. Who, always sat in the top left-hand side pockets, of the Captain's identical, twin, lassie daughters, Lena and Mena, at different times of the day.  
Then, a boat was seen approaching at super duper fast speed and with the waves his boat was making, tossed the homemade pirate ship Shiftnabout, Slip Slop and Slapping all about, just like inside a waterlogged washing machine full of sea fish.  
The Captain Triple T said, 'Fire a shot, across the bow of that super fast boat. Savvy, which he yelled out to him. It actually, really means, 'Do you understand the warning and do you agree with me'?  
But the super fast boats captain, Stefan Pettersson of North Noland, who was just cruising past, laughed and shook his head again. He then took off, in his super, fast boat named, Snowski. See! 'You are just another Scallywag, who tried to scuttle my ship.  
Is everything shipshape in the galley, ye cook down below? Then, up popped a head and said, 'Yay, everything is **** n Span in the kitchen of mine'. All cleaned up and under control, Flo the Cook was yelling, while handling the very hot bread dough.  
Smoochy the Short screamed out, 'Thar she blows'. Smoochy the Short, the ships lookout officer had spotted a very large fish. Blimey! He said, 'It's not a large fish, it's a very familiar whale and it's headed our way.  
Captain Billy Stilrite hollered, 'Shiver-Me-Timber and Blow-Me-Down'.  
Then, the whale deliberately, slammed into his pirate ship. It was, his pride and joy, even it was cheaply made from wooden ply.  
Holy Crap! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! He yelled in disgust. The whale had managed to rip a large hole in the ship, and out fell the pirate's treasure into the swell. Down and down it went, with all the pirate's mouths wide open and dropping to the floor. But, not a word came out, like you would've expected. They, should've of at-least, managed a groan or a yell.  
Then, another pirate ship named, Shining-No-More, had come to steal gold coins and so much more, from the pirate ship we were aboard, named,  
Shift-N-About. But, the large hole that the whale had made, was filling up with water and beginning to sink.  
Yo ** **! screamed, Captain Triple T, to me, 'Walk the plank now and never be seen on my pirate ship again'. He said, 'That I had made all of this happen'. But, I said, 'It wasn't my fault, for I was knocked out cold and only napping'.  
Then, all of the crew started clapping, once I was upon the plank and taking very small steps at a time.  
The crew aboard the Shining Amor, felt sorry for the other ships crew and started to help them all aboard. They were helped by people with funny names, such as, Admiral Monty Lopez from the Spanish Armada, 'One would think'!Then, others like Lemmy Rolling-River and even the ship's butler named, Albert Will-That-B-All, the eighth of course.  
They, were about to rescue me, but I slipped and fell, head first and took a great dive. Then, I thought while down under here, I might as well start searching, for the sunken treasure.  
On my way down, I saw all sorts of things, like a small fish, that didn't smell so nice and even an old rusty knight in shining armor. I even saw a dog with a great big Danish flag around its neck. Also, I saw a yellow duck, an orange Tabby cat and even a guinea pig, swimming on by.  
I then saw, the chest full of treasure and made my way towards my find. But when I looked closer, it wasn't treasure at all. It was a glass of my favourite Fruit-Blast, that my mum, had left out for me. She, had made it especially for me, so when I woke up, my head wouldn't feel sore anymore.  
For after my great fall, my dad, had sailed back to shore. Then, he carried me into the back of the family's car and drove me home to bed.  
When i awoke, my Mum came in to ask, 'How I felt'. I told her, 'I'm feeling Fonderful & Wantastic in shapeship condition, I think!  
For none of my fun pirate adventures were even real. For, I was unconscious and it was just an adventurous dream, a very colourful and funny one indeed, it would seem.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Jun 2020 · 5.6k
Cool Tents With Hot Food
Mark Jun 2020
From the 10th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.

Finally, the day Smoochy and I had been waiting for had arrived. It was Saturday the 7th of March. The day we were heading off to the, 89th Boy Scouts & Girl Guides, combined World Jamboree. The jamboree was held this year in the Nevada desert in Las Vegas, USA.

My dad Archie, was the local scout leader for the Shimmerleedimmerlee 1st scout group and my mum Flo, was second in charge of the Barefeet Mountain 3rd Girl Guide group. Mum's friend was the Barefeet girl guides leader and she was named, Miss Alice Springs. Dad was making the trip with other local scout leaders and 11 of us boys. Mum and Miss Alice Springs were taking 11 girls from the local Barefeet Mountain girl guide group, including my two much older identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma. Also coming along was my much younger brother, Lemmy and of course my grouse pet mouse, Smoochy.

Dad has been in the local boy scout group since he was very young and his father, John Lemmon, my grandfather, was also in the same scout group when it first began, all of those years ago.

There were boy scout and girl guide groups from all over the world attending the big camping and adventure event. People from far away places like Norway, France, Egypt, Australia, Holland, England, Brazil, Thailand, Hong Kong, Italy and of course the host nation, the United States of America.

Every group, brought with them their home nations own colourful flags and individually designed tents, based on their countries culture or famous landmarks. It was like having all of the countries of the world, all in the one place at a time.

The boy scout and girl guide group from Thailand had a tent that looked like a Buddhist Temple and also had an outdoor kitchen where they would make, such great tasting, but ever so hot and spicy, food from.

The Egyptian guys and girls had a massive high tent, that resembled the world famous giant Pyramid of Giza. It must of taken them ages to make the angles so perfectly straight and with extreme precision.

Holland's tent was a large and fully operational, colourful windmill. It, even had it's very own water tank. The windmill tent was painted with colours and designs that even impressed my very artistic dad.

He said, 'He might even have to redecorate his unusually built, outrageously painted, outback, backyard shed and use some of the bright paint colours and fancy designs the boys and girls had done'.

The next tent was very big and long from the boy scout and girl guide groups of, Australia. It had been designed to look like the, Sydney harbour bridge. But it didn't have a roof to protect them from the weather, while they slept shoulder to shoulder, across the wooden bridge road. But, like most Aussies with relaxed and casual attitudes they said, 'She'll be right mate, Rain, Hail or Shine'.

The guys and gals from Italy, had a tent that was leaning over to the right, just like the, famous Leaning Tower of Pisa. They assured us all that it wouldn't fall over. 'Trust us, they said'.

Hong Kong had a very long tent that was based on the colourful, cultural inspired dragon. It had a lot of tent pegs on either side, to keep it's ever winding position in place. It was the most colourful and coolest tent of all. But at the same time, the most scariest tent of them all.

England's tent was based on the very historic, Tower of London. It even had two very serious looking guards on patrol out front, made out of paper mâché.

Norway's tent was in the shape of, a Vikings fighting helmet. It had, two large horns coming out from the left and right hand sides. It looked like a raging bull, in a bizarre sort of way.

Brazil came up with a giant yellow and green football, based on their national sport and colours of the country, for its design. All of us just hoped, 'It didn't get a sudden hole in it and start to knock over all of our tents, just like a giant pinball game'.

France went for a super, duper structure, that was wide at the bottom and became thinner towards the top. It was in the shape of the Eiffel Tower, of course. It was the tallest tent at the jamboree camping grounds and provided the best views from atop.

While the host nation the USA decided to honour the, Native American Indians. They, had a large tent resembling an original and colourful Indian Teepee, with a hole at the top. The scouts and girl guides from, the USA, sent out messages to everyone nearby, using the old, but still very effective, smoke signals way of communication. They said, 'Who needs the Internet, Facebook and Twitter, when you can send messages and cook a meal on a fire at the same time'?

After looking at all of the great tents made by all of the participating nations, we sat down to eat. Everybody had made a favourite dish from their home country. All the girl guides from Australia made the famous and delicious dessert cake called, Pavlova. But, it wasn't any ordinary Pavlova, for it was in the shape of the very large outback rock named Uluru. Which, by the way, is located in the middle of Australia, near a place called Alice Springs.

So my mum's friend has a very famous name indeed. The girl guides from Australia named this creation, 'The Alice Springs Rock'.

The Egyptians had made a dessert out of shortbread, that took them hours to make. Each piece of shortbread had to be skilfully cut, with exact precision or the creation just wouldn't stay in place. It was named, 'Pastry Plate of Pharaoh's Perfect Pyramid'.

The Italian Boy Scouts, prepared a series of huge leaning pizzas stacked on top of each other, on very acute angles, just like their tent. They named their creation, 'The Leaning Tower of Pizza'.

The host nation of the USA, made some yummy hotdogs with tomato ketchup, mustard and cheese. They made the hotdogs, pop up from each end of the roll and placed wooden sticks on either side to look like American Native Indians were rowing their canoes.

Norway had created a tasty snack made with salmon and biscuits which looked like little boats flowing down the Fjords. Also the impression of large rocks in the water that were in fact meatballs for all.

Thailand had served up several spicy dishes, including the famous Pad Thai dish with chicken and the hot soup named Hot and Sour with Prawns in Thai you pronounce it as Tom Yung Goong. It was so yummy in the tummy the dishes from Thailand.

In the Brazil kitchen they made us their nations famous Churrasco or BBQ. It uses a variety of meats like pork, beef and chicken which was cooked on large metal skewers stuck into the ground and roasted with the embers of the charcoal.

France baked up some crescent shaped flaky pastry named the Croissant. They added some great tasting almonds to a few, while some others had dried fruits such as sultanas, raisins and even apples.

Holland had an assortment of plates consisting of Gouda and Edam cheeses with mayonnaise and mustards and other plates had a rich variety of fruits, freshly cut meats and nuts placed upon them.

Hong Kong had very traditional Chinese meals prepared for all to enjoy. They had everything from fried rice, to Chinese noodles to my dads all time favourite Peking Duck, so when he saw the duck he said he was in luck. Also they had a plate full of Dim Sums and a Hong Kong favourite snack called egg tarts and another of my dads favourite drinks named milk tea.

Finally England had whipped up my Friday night special, which is Fish n Chips with tomato sauce. It was so good that a lot of the other nations said they would make it for their families, once they got home.

In the morning we had such great fun and adventure while trying every nations favourite sport or recreation. We started by having team races on the river in Native American Indian canoes, Norwegian Viking ships, Italian Gondolas, Egyptian river boats and Chinese dragon boat races in the nearby river. The winning order was Hong Kong 1st, Italy came in 2nd and third of all was Egypt.

We even had competitions to see who could do the best smoke signals and we even had fun rope climbing events to the top of the Eiffel Tower, the Leaning tower of Pisa, and walking and climbing events up the Pyramid of Giza and the Sydney Harbour Bridge tents.

Then some countries had a football game after lunch with teams from Brazil, England, Italy and France playing for the Boy Scouts and Girl Guides World Cup golden trophy. Brazil beat England in the final 3-1, to hold up the golden cup.

Some other nations had bike riding races, which Holland won with ease. Australia did really well in the boxing competition. Everybody laughed when Smoochy came out 1st, wearing a pair of boxing gloves, before they brought out a plastic blow up of their mascot wearing gloves "Big Red" the boxing kangaroo which was placed near the ring for good luck.

Thailand dominated the Judo and the USA couldn't be stopped in the 100m sprints and also the mixed basketball matches. So overall, everyone had such a great time and we all loved the tents, food and different sports to watch and perform in, from all of the world.

The week went so fast and it was sad to say goodbye to all of our new friends from all over the world, but we promised that we would stay in touch either by using smoke signals or the new generations way, which is either by Facebook or Twitter.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Jun 2020 · 1.9k
Yellow Tail Mouse Tale
Mark Jun 2020
From the 9th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.  
This week, I had the best surprise present since Christmas Day, when I received my new grouse pet mouse named, Smooch. But the surprise didn't come from my parents, Archie or Flo, for it didn't even come from my little brother Lemmy's mouth. It wasn't from the mouths of my two much older identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, either.  
Believe it or not, it came from the mouth of my mouse, named Smoochy. Yes that's right, he does speak and he told me about his remarkable life story, since birth.  
It began when, I was feeding him some of my Mum's delicious afternoon treat. Do you remember the one that I named, 'a colourful fruit-blast'? Smoochy said, 'wow!, I love your Mum's food, it reminds me of my Mums magical dessert creations, she used to make for me, before I came to live with the you and your family'.  
I was gob smacked, when I heard Smoochy, actually having a conversation with me. I now knew 100%, that I wasn't dreaming or hallucinating, when I thought, Smoochy spoke to me. Just like the time on the seashore with the whale, and the fairy floss at the seaside resort named, Slipslopslap Bay. Also the time during the circus, while we were holidaying at the big top park circus, named Rolling River Retreat.  
Smoochy, told me about his parents, who's names are, Slippy and Sloppy. He also said, 'that his birth name is actually, Poppy, but he didn't mind being called,Smoochy. His name I had given him last Christmas. He said, 'it's grouse for a mouse to have a cool nickname, in the world of humans'.  
He also added, that in the animal world most creatures, don't even speak. Except for some mice, a parrot, and he was also led to believe, maybe even the odd Dolphin, swimming around the ocean.  
Smoochy, told me, 'how he and his parents Slippy and Sloppy, ended up at the local pet shop, in my local village named, Shimmerdimmerlee, when he was only about 2 years old'.  
Smoochy' said, 'that his parents, used to travel around the globe, with the very colourful and world famous circus troop name, 'Mr. Kazoontite's and his Marvellous, Magical, Mysterious and Musically Minded Misfits'.  
They both used to appear in an act, with the circus's ventriloquist, who's stage name was, 'Mumbling Murray the Mouth of the South'.They would pop their heads out of his top, left and right hand side pockets, of his jacket, and pretend to speak in English.They could also speak, a bit of his native language called, 'Ogbogolo'.  
When Mumbling Murray, opened his mouth and spoke, they would only be grinding their teeth together, to get the cheese out of the gaps of their teeth. But, the crowd thought it was funny, so they just kept doing it, for every act, over several years.  
Then one day, my Mum was having a baby, it was me. So, I was born in a big top circus and was looked after, ever so well by my parents and all of the other circus workers. Then one day, Mumbling Murray had to go back to his home country, to look after his sick sister.  
Mumbling Murray, had just finished the circus tour, near our village and decided he should take my parents and I to the local pet store. He thought, 'maybe they can be cared for, by a new loving family'.  
While living in the pet store, we noticed, with utter amazement, a very colourful parrot, talking in English. So Smoochy's Dad, answered him back, and the parrot almost fell off his perch. He spun around, about 3 times in a row. He then yelled back to my Dad, 'did you say that'? Yes, I did indeed, replied my dad, with a very proud smile on his face. Wow, said the parrot, 'I thought I was the only non human, who could speak'.  
Smoochy's Dad told the parrot, who's name was Polly, by the way, 'that he and his wife Sloppy, had learnt to speak English, from the ventriloquist acts performing with Mumbling Murray, the Mouth of the South, and the world famous circus troop named, 'Mr. Kazoontite's, Marvellous, Magical, Mysterious and Musically Minded Misfits'. They, in turn, taught their only son, Smoochy, mouse language. during the day and English at night, before he went to sleep.  
As for my Mum Sloppy and her magical dessert creations she used to make for the family. It was the best mixtures of sweet and colourful ingredients anyone could ever imagine. She used to go looking for snacks that were left on the floor under the seating area after the end of each nights circus performance. She would find things like salted popcorn with a touch of butter, a variety of different coloured chocolate, Neapolitan ice cream, orange Jaffa's and an assortment of lollies. It was so fun eating it all in a large dessert bowl after our main meal.  
Gee I miss those days and miss my mum and dad so much, Smoochy (Poppy) told me. So the next day I mentioned to my parents that I really need to go to the loc pet shop to get something really important for Smoochy. They said what do you need? Dad said I have built you a new pet mouse house for your grouse new pet mouse Smoochy and I even hand painted it with such colourful flair using my artistic nous.  
What else does Smoochy need, asked my mum. I said it is something that everyone needs in life and can never be replaced. So my parents said ok, tomorrow morning we will go down to the village pet shop and try and find what is so important for you and your grouse pet mouse Smoochy.  
Here we are Smoochy, at the pet shop that took you and your parents in a few years ago. Let's go and have a look for you mum and dad together. We saw slimy snakes, sticky spiders, floating frogs, flirting fish, droopy ducks and even timid turtles. Then all of a sudden we spotted several mouse houses.  
Smoochy was quietly saying, "Hello mum and dad are you here", even I was yelling out, Slippy, Sloppy, are you here. Then Smoochy spotted his parents in a mouse house which was stacked up on the top of a shelf full of books, towards the back of the pet shop.  
Hello son, how have you been and how did you and your new friend know we were living here? Smoochy told them that his new friend Stewy, knows that he can talk and I told him of my early years of life and what had happened to us all.  
I then yelled out to my parents, "I've found what Smoochy needs, we have found his real parents right here in Shimmerdimmerlee's village pet shop. Mum and dad said ok, you can have the two much older mice, so Smoochy has a mum and dad like everyone should have in their lives, even though they aren't his real parents.  
So back home we went and welcomed Smoochy's mum and dad, Slippy and Sloppy to their new grouse pet mouse house and even showed them dads unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed.  
It was a hot afternoon, so we also slid down the "Terrific Triple Tumbling Tremendously Turning Travelling Tubes" to the village pond and introduced Buck the Duck to Smoochy's mum and dad.  
Smoochy and I have decided to keep his families secret to ourselves for now. It's ok that my mum and dad don't believe what I say on some occasions, because at least I know what the meaning of family means deep down inside, for myself but also for my friend and grouse pet Smoochy and his loving mum and dad.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Jun 2020 · 1.4k
A Night In Shining-Armor
Mark Jun 2020
From the 8th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.  
It was a little while after our trip to the snow at the Shivermetimber Ski Resort, when my Dad said, 'He had some good news'. His brother Albert, who worked as a tour guide, in the very old castle named, Shining Armor, located in the historical town of, Woncy Upon Thames, had invited the whole family to stay a night, in the Shining Armor castle.  
The castle would be closed to the public, so they could upgrade the garden's watering system, and do some minor renovations to the old horse stables. He told Dad, 'It might be the only time we could come and stay there'.  
Once Dad told us, the good news, the whole family quickly agreed. It would be chance in a lifetime to stay in a castle, and we were all, ever so keen.  
Then Mum and Dad told us, 'They would get straight to work, on some super, secret, special, surprises, for the entire Lemmon family to enjoy, while staying at the very old castle.  
Only three days to go, and we still didn't know what they were both up to. Dad was busy driving into town and back home again. Then, dad would go straight back into his unusually built and outrageously painted, outback, backyard shed. Our Mum, was coming and going from her very own, colourful, Arts 'n Crafts, hobby room, at the back of the house.  
It was now Saturday morning, and my Dad, had got up at the crack of dawn, to pack the car with all of our baggage. But, he soon realised, that he needed more room. So, he decided to hook up our very old trailer, for a bit of extra room. But, he had cleverly, covered up everything that was packed inside, so we couldn't see our super, secret, special, surprises.  
We then all got into our family car, and headed off for a night in Shining Armor's very old castle. On the drive there, the whole family pretended we were all travelling to the old castle, in our very own, royal, majestic looking, horse drawn carriage. Dad, pretended to be the head carriage driver, Mum, pretended to be the royal caretaker, while my two, identical, twin sisters declared themselves as, 'The Princess's Emma and Jemma of Shimmerleedimmerlee Estate, to us all', with a pompous smirk on their faces. My little brother had to be, 'Lord Lemmy the Little of Woncy Upon Thames' of course. Smoochy was named, the royals pet Corgi and I of course, was his 'Excellency King Stewy the IIIV'. Oh, what fun was had by all, travelling to the old castle, while pretending to be and talking just like, real royals, would do.  
Upon entering the castles estate, we even got to drive across the drawbridge and through the large fortified gates. Our Uncle Albert, was waiting for us at the foot of the stairs. He then opened all of our pretend horse drawn carriage doors. We all stepped out and burst into laughter and our Dad, jokingly said, to our Uncle Albert, 'You can take the royal baggage to our rooms, and then make our dinner on time, and don't forget the fine wine'. Then, with a grin, Uncle Albert said, 'Will that be all sir'?  
The whole family then walked up the front stairs, through the grand entrance, and into the foyer that had a massive staircase, right in the middle.  
Wow! I thought, 'What it must have been like, to live as a king'.  
We all went upstairs to our very own bedrooms, to take a warm bath. While we were bathing, Mum, crept in and laid our super, secret, special, surprise over our beds. Dad went to the trailer and took off the cover. Then, he hid our other super, secret, special, surprise in the castle's large garden shed.  
We were all so happy with our Mum's surprise. Our clever Mum, had handmade us all, colourful and flamboyant, royal attire. We would all wear them to dinner, like a real King and Queen would surely desire.  
The dining table was like, twenty-feet long, Mum and Dad couldn't even see me, if I happened to do anything wrong. After the main course and after plenty of talk, our Uncle Albert said, 'I'll be back in a sec'. Mum asked, 'If he needed a hand, but he said, 'No thanks, I'm just going to fetch the desserts, so I won't be too long'.  
He was gone for quite a while, when all of a sudden, the doors swung open, and in came a knight in shining armour. My Dad fell off his chair, still holding onto a small royal jug, and ended up with apple sauce all over his face.  
While, both my two, older, identical, twin sisters, just started to dream real fast, for they both had the same identical thought, that their husband to be, had come to take them away at last. I thought, 'It's so funny, how the brains of identical twins seem to work'. Then, Smoochy had jumped straight back into my top left-hand side pocket, full of fright.  
Then, the knight started to laugh, and said out loud, 'Will that be all sir'? For it was our funny Uncle Albert, playing a practical joke on us all, and saying, 'That he was now equal, now that his brother Archie, had got his just desserts'.  
In the morning, Dad went to the large garden shed and brought out his super, secret, special, surprises. For he had made, four homemade, rocking horses for us all to enjoy. A little one for Lemmy: a medium sized one for me; and two identical, but, much larger ones, for my two, much older, identical, twin sisters, Emma and Jemma.  
We got dressed again, in our colourful and flamboyant, royal attire, which we had worn to the royal dinner, the night before. After a day full of horsing around and even playing chess, on the outside, gigantic, playing board, it was time to say farewell to Uncle Albert.  
We thanked him for the invite, and for having made our trip, such a ball. For the wonderful trip we had, staying a night in Shining Armor's very old castle. All the while, pretending to be royals, and even dancing in the great hall. But we all knew, it couldn't really happen in real life, that's for sure.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Mark Jun 2020
From the 7th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.    
WOW, it was already Christmas Eve. It goes to show, 'time flies when you're having fun', for winter was amongst us again. This year's weather was awfully cold, with the temperature dropping to only two degrees, it was freezing outside. I said, to my parents, 'it seems to be a silly shkeason for this time of year, and without any real good reason'.    
My dad, had gathered some wood for the open fireplace, that he had made for us inside. We then all sang songs and ate our multi coloured marshmallows, straight off the wooden sticks, to make us feel yummy, once inside our tummy.    
My mum Flo, said, with her cheeks as red as a rose, from the heat of the fire, which was making her cheeks glow. 'Do you want to go to the snow, for a couple of days'? We could have so much fun, in the white, cold snow'?    
So, the next morning, Dad packed up the car, with ski's, gloves, boots, jackets and even some ski chains for the slippery wet road tar.    
Mum, packed some food, drinks, our tooth brushes and even a hair brush and a comb. Then we hopped into the overloaded car, and headed off west in search of the white, cold snow.    
We finally arrived at the Shivermetimbers Ski Lodge, and the manager Monty Lopez, was there to greet us, and gave us the keys to our regular ski lodge. It's a funny job, by the way, for a bloke that can't even ski, due to vertigo, unbalanced and all.    
Once inside our weekend ski lodge, we quickly lit the enormous fireplace, which was built, smack in the middle of the very large lounge room.    
Mum and Dad had their own bedroom, my two much older, identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, had the ski loft, while my little brother Lemmy, Smoochy and I had the fold-out bed, that popped out from under the couch.    
Early next morning, we all ate bacon and eggs and drank hot chocolate, except for dad, who preferred his hot cup of tea.    
After breakfast, the manager Monty Lopez, told my Mum, Flo and my two, identical twin sisters, that they can have, free ski lessons down the back tracks, for an hour or so.    
But after only about, ten or fifteen minutes, with the, Shivermetimbers ski instructor, Stefan Pettersson, who was from North Poland, they just simply gave up.    
Not just because, every time they tried to stand up, all three of them kept falling flat on their backs. But, because Stefan Pettersson, could not speak a word of English, unlike his distant English speaking cousins in South Poland.    
I'm sure he was a great ski teacher, but maybe, needed to learn the language of the South as well. Then he could explain to the tourists, from English speaking countries, what he needed them to do, to stay on their feet.    
Meanwhile my Dad, along with his old and very funny friend, Trevor Thomas Timberlake, whom Dad has always called Triple T for short, were hiding in the retreat's garage, making another Christmas surprise.    
While Smoochy, Lemmy and I were trying to peek in and see what they were doing, we heard loud noises like, Boom, Buzz, Bang, Clunk, Clink, Clank, Smack, Swat, Slap and even Heave-**.We couldn't wait to see what they had made for us, after all of that noise.    
As we were walking back to grab a soft drink and bite to eat, BANG the garage doors opened, and that's when we saw our Christmas surprise.    
For it was Trevor Thomas Timberlake, dressed up in a very colourful Santa outfit. But, if you think that was funny, 'who do you think was pulling Santa's even more colourful sleigh'?    
It was the manager Monty Lopez's, eight very small pet Chiqaua's. They didn't look like they were that strong, to pull Santa's sleigh and Dad's old and very funny friend, Triple T.    
All of the kids and I were so pleased. I even noticed Smoochy, with a bit of a glee. Santa Trevor and his chosen helpers, my two, identical twin sisters Emma and Jemma, gave out the presents, to all of the children that were staying at the,'Shivermetimbers Ski Lodge'.    
Later that afternoon, my mum, had made a big barrel of fruit snacks for everyone to share. We were all about to start to eat, when all of sudden, we heard an almighty big crash.    
For Monty's eight very small pet Chiqaua's, were spooked by my grouse new pet mouse named, Smoochy. He had startled them all and made Triple T's Santa Sleigh, stack right into the table. With the fruit barrel sitting on top, the big crash had tossed the barrel of fruit, onto the ground and it rolled down the slippery snow ski slopes.    
Everybody rushed over to see all of the mess. But it actually turned out to be quite good looking, more or less. Because, Mum's fruit snack, had all spilled out and had created a really cool, very cold and quite a colourful, rainbow snack in the snow.    
I named that accidental creation of a mess, 'The Sensationally Spilt Rainbow Snow Snack on the Slippery Ski *****'.    
We had all decided to head back to our family's very large shack and have chicken nuggets with tomato sauce of course, instead of Mum's colourful fruit snack.    
In the morning, we went and saw the mess from the night before. My Dad and Triple T had come up with a clever idea, They had made some square wooden boxes, in such quick style.    
We gathered up all of the mess and packed it all into the wooden boxes. Then we made some very cool, fruit coloured, solid snow bricks. We were going to make some igloos out of the colourful bricks, and try and spend a whole night sleeping inside them.    
It wouldn't be that cold inside an igloo, we thought. Eskimo's do it all of the time, and they don't seem to catch that many colds.    
When morning had come, we had awoken to find the very cool, fruit coloured, solid snow bricks, had all melted away and we were lying in, not so very cool, fruit coloured, soggy, snow slush.    
We laughed and cried and hurried inside to get ourselves dried. I called that creation, 'The very cool, fruit coloured bricks, that just didn't stick'.    
Mum said, gather up all of that, not so very cool, fruit coloured, soggy, snow slush, and I will create you a new all time favourite, colourful fruit creation.    
She had put the slush and the fruit into several ice trays, and had placed solid sticks over each block and made them stick out a bit, from each of their ends. She then, cut holes in the middle of some plastic cups and placed the cups, on one of the ends.    
After a while, our very cool, frozen fruit delight, was ready to bite. We all had one, and yelled out yum, good on ya Mum. For, not only did the cup catch the melting ice, it also caught any fruit that fell off the side.    
I named that creation, 'Colourful Ice-Drips & Fruit-Drops in a Cup'. That's my Mum for you, always likes a good clean mess.    
Dad said, what a great idea, and that we should all listen more often to our Mums. Then, my Mum joked, 'if only your dad would listen to me more often'.    
That night, I was back in my fold-out bed, that popped out from the couch, I slept like a bug in a rug. Even Smoochy, crawled into bed, and gave me, an ever so tight hug, on our very last night, of our silly season, ski holiday trip.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Mark Jun 2020
From the 6th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.  
Holidays were almost here again, and Mum and Dad loved to take us all to our favourite caravan park called Rolling River Retreat, where all of our friends from past years would once again be there with their families.  
My Dad made our very own caravan by hand, painted with artistic flair and built (of course) in his unusually built and outrageously painted, backyard, out back shed. It was such a sight for all of the people that drove past us in their cars, on our way to our holiday retreat.  
All our friends from the caravan park retreat, also thought our colourful caravan looked such a treat, that many of them phoned mum and dad and told them about the surprise for us kids once we arrived at the retreat. They had all decided this year; they too would have something cool looking and really neat at the retreat.  
Are we there yet, we would ask again and again, then after a little longer us kids fell asleep. We were then awoken by the sound of BomBom BomBom BomBom, and then we knew we were crossing the last old bridge from the nearby town and into the big and top park of all time. It was a very old and bumpy bridge and we all knew its sound.  
As we were crossing the old Rolling River Bridge, we noticed the water level was much higher than usual, and moving ever so fast. The locals had told us when we had to refuel the car that the rain hadn't stopped coming down for weeks and weeks. They also said that today the sun was finally coming out from behind those dark clouds and hopefully now it wouldn't be so bleak.  
So lucky for us and all of our friends, that we picked our holiday time when the sun decided to peak. As we rolled up to the world's top caravan park, we were all welcomed by the always friendly, park manager Andy and his wife Cindy. He had been the manager there for twenty-three years, and my Dad also knew Andy from when he was a child.  
We then saw our friends, with a smile on their dials and so loud with great cheer, when the Lemmon's had finally arrived. There was our great Spanish friend Pablo, who we would call Poppa Pablo, and who loved his various and very tamed pets. There was old senior, Jay Walken the Lolly shop owner, and the very funny musical brothers Anastasia and Houllio from Mexico.  
We saw Johnny "The Greek Carpenter" and his son Stevie, also Andy's old pen-pal friend, Joel from Texas, USA. We were allowed to call him, Cowboy Tex. he was walking with a slight shuffle, while wearing a huge 10 gallon hat. Last to see us was my favourite grown up friend, Marko. He would do magical tricks for us every year and his wife Louise and their son Jacob, who was studying architecture. It's something to do with drawings or designs, I think.  
They all gave us hugs and high fives, and said, now come with us, for you will all be in for a real treat. We turned the corner and there they all were. The old looking caravans of previous years, had all been cleverly painted with great  character and artistic flair.  
Poppa Pablo, who loved animals, painted his caravan to look like a zoo. The old senior, Jay Walken (the Candyman) painted his, to look like a van full of lollies. The funny Mexican, musical brothers Anastasia and Houllio, had painted a bunch of colourful and zany looking Mexican clowns, playing all of their favourite instruments. Which included, drums, trumpets, harmonicas and guitars on the side of their van. Johnny "The Greek Carpenter" and his son Stevie, decided to paint shapes, houses, hammers, nails and ladders of course. Marko, Louise and their son Jacob, had a very futuristic designed van with rabbits, hats, juggling *****, a box and a saw and a cleaver trap-door. All had been designed with precision and at very clever angles, that's for sure.  
The last caravan we saw was extra long, for it was Cowboy Tex's, and he even had a van for his pony named, Bubski. Cowboy Tex had painted his in Red, White and Blue and in the middle a large star from Texas, where else.  
That night we went to bed early after such a long trip, for tomorrow we were all going on a drive and having a picnic lunch in the local mountains and then into town at night to see the travelling circus.  
In the morning, we all made our way in convoy, towards the old and bumpy Rolling River Bridge. But it had been closed overnight by the police, because of the rain and the damage it had made. Dad spoke to the local policeman, who said, the bad weather had taken its toll, on the old bumpy bridge and it had damaged a few large poles.  
We all went back to our holiday park and started to unpack. All of the childre were very upset, because, they had missed out on seeing the circus. Then, my Dad and his friends had a long talk, while sitting together around the campfire. They were trying to figure out, what they could do, to cheer up the children.  
Meanwhile, the kids decided to spend the rest of the day in the Rolling River Retreat's, games room. After chatting and playing, for quite awhile, we heard all sorts of noises,coming from outside. But my Mum told us, don't worry, just keep having fun and talking together.  
Later that afternoon, we heard someone yelling out,'Roll up, Roll up, Welcome to the Big Top Park'. We all rushed outside, but couldn't believe what we were seeing. The circus, had somehow, come to our park.  
We all started walking, towards the funny clowns who were falling down. There was even a Candy shop selling all sorts of yummies, like fairy floss, lollies and even teeth candy.  
We all took our seats at the front, and started listening to the funny clowns, playing a musical beat. Then a big voice shouted out loud, let's all thank the parents and friends for bringing the circus straight to you. After a while, we realised it was my Dad. He was introducing all of the performers, who would entertain us, in style.  
The funny clowns playing the musical instruments and falling down were the brothers, Anastasia and Houllio, and the man serving candy was none other than, the old senior Mr Jay Walken, of course.  
The show was starting, and the first act was, Poppa Pablo with his variety of animals. His Great Dane named, Duke, was jumping and rolling all about, his orange cat called, Tabby, was boxing with some hanging *****. His Guinea Pig called, Pauly was whizzing around through plastic pipes, and so much more. Then his little yellow baby duck named, Dina was following Pablo, wherever he went.  
Poppa Pablo, then grabbed Smoochy from me, and put him on a large See-Saw. He then got his Great Dane named, Duke stand on the other end. 'Whisssshhhhh, I wasn't here', Smoochy seemed to yell out, but I was ready for him. Luckily, he landed in straight in my top left-hand side pocket.  
Next act, was dancing from my two, much older, identical twin sisters Emma and Jemma. I found them rather boring, so I yelled out, ' next act please'.  
Even my Mum, Flo was giving it a go. She had held in a large bowl, my favourite fruit snacks. Then, all of a sudden, she tossed an apple into the air, then straight after that, a whole banana went up. She then grabbed an orange, that's three at a time, wow, she was juggling her fruit, real fine. It was something, I have never ever, seen done before, I hope they don't fall!  
The funny clown brothers, then asked the audience, for a hand. I put up Lemmy's hand and Smoochy's as well. They put Lemmy in a very small homemade car, then following behind was, Pablo's orange cat, named,Tabby, and then his Guinea Pig called, Pauly. All looking so relaxed, in a car, each of their own.  
At the front of the cars was, Cowboy Tex and his faithful Polish pony named, Bubski. All of the cars had been hooked up, near the back of his tail. Around and around, they did two laps, as they sat quietly.  
The last act of the night was, Marko the Magician and his assistant Louise. He performed some wonderful tricks, and even pulled a cute rat, out of a top hat. I then yelled out, 'wait a sec!', I think that's my best friend, and new grouse pet mouse, Smoochy.  
Then, my sister Emma, was introduced into this part of the show. She stood in one of the two boxes, set up on stage, and with a black cloth, Marko, then covered the front of her body. With the magical words of "getoutofheregooverthere", and in a flash of an eye, she quickly reappeared, in no time at all. But in the other wooden box, that was so far away. Wow, Marko is the best magician, I have ever seen. I wanted to know, the secret of that trick, but he didn't even give me a clue.  
At the end of the night, Andy the friendly park manager, got on the microphone and said, 'can we all please applaud, these wonderful acts'. Starting with, Archie Lemmon, Johnny "The Greek Carpenter" and his son Stevie for building and painting the circus arena. Also, Jacob for the stage design and forcarefully planning all that.  
Wow, what a great night had by all, but, I don't think Smoochy, will ever talk to me again. Mainly, because it was me, who put up his hand, for that very scary circus, high flying act.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Mark Jun 2020
From the 5th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.  
One week, after our exciting trip to the seaside resort called, 'Slipslopslap Bay', Smoochy and I were keen to do some more fishing, at the small pond in our village. So, we got dressed, had some breakfast, brushed our teeth and headed off. We took along with us, a basket full of snacks, my Mum had prepared earlier, for us.  
We sat by the pond and cast our fishing rods out, to see what we could catch. We even saw, 'Buck the Duck' diving for lunch. While sitting on the deck chairs, with my socks and shoes off, relaxing and waiting for the fish to bite, I saw my fishing line, starting to bend.  
I jumped up and held on ever so tight. I think, I caught a big fish, and it was going to be a hard fight, indeed. I yelled out to my pet mouse named, Smoochy, 'Please help me pull the fish in'! Here it comes Smoochy, 'watch out for its fin'!We then put the fish into the bucket. Oh! What a good win.  
Then, another fish got snagged on the hook, one-two, then three more. I reeled them all in. After we had finally caught, seven very big fish and even a little one, off home we headed to show my family our slippery little surprises.  
Mum, counted them all, but to my surprise, there was only seven big fish, inside after all. The little one must have been left behind. Then my Mum, told me to go and clean myself up, and to go put my shoes and socks back on.  
That night, after dinner, we were all going to town. We were going to attend, the annual village dance competition at the,' Shiftnabout Dance & Music Hall'. My two, much older identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, had been practising all day, so they could have a good chance of winning the trophy for 1st prize.  
While all the contestants, were up on stage strutting their stuff, my mates and I, were at the back pretending to imitate them and doing some really cool Hip-Hop. Then, my mates said, 'Pooh-wee, did someone step on a duck'? The bad smell was all around us, but none of my mates, were willing confess up.  
While driving home in the family car the smell was still near us, and Mum and Dad yelled, 'who was the naughty one, who let one go'? Mum said, 'There was something fishy going on around here'! We all looked at Smoochy, waiting for an answer, but as you know, he couldn't tell.  
Nobody confessed up, just like my best mates wouldn't, so dad put the car windows down but the smell still hovered around us. My twin sisters said, 'It smelt like Fish 'n Chips'! My little brother Lemmy just blocked his nose.  
We arrived safely back home, after a rather smelly ride, Mum said, 'Okay, everyone put on your pyjamas, brush your teeth, put your clothes near the washing machine and Stewy don't forget your clothes, in the bag. Then off to bed, for it is getting very late'!  
Next morning Mum, started her day by placing all of our ***** clothes into the washing machine. There was Lemmy's pants and singlet; the girl's dance dresses; Dad's tie and trousers; and my fishing jacket, jocks and socks, to mention, just a few.  
Mum could still smell that unusual odour, with a bad, fish like smell. When Mum, had pushed the buttons, and had closed the lid, the washing machine started to rumble and wash, everything inside.  
But then, she heard a tapping noise, coming from under the lid. She, quickly turned the washing machine off and opened the lid. Then, we heard, an almighty loud scream, coming from the laundry.  
It was my Mum, yelling out, because she had just found that, little fish. The one that I thought, had been left behind. I said, 'He must have jumped out of the fishing bucket, into my bag, then right inside my clothes'! Maybe, he had been curled up inside my long socks and then popped into my jacket.  
We all laughed and thought of that dreadful smell the night before. So, it wasn't my mate's smell on the dance floor, it wasn't even my family's smell, whilst in the car driving home. It was the little fish's smell, that was accidentally, left inside my socks.T
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Mark Jun 2020
From the 4th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.    
We had a whale of a time last weekend on a trip with my family to the seaside resort named Slipslopslap Bay. It is located about three hours from my home.    
Once we arrived at our rented holiday wood cabin put our clothes away in the wardrobe and placed our food in the fridge, we all decided as a family what we would do next.    
My Mum, Flo, took my younger brother, Lemmy, to the local carnival for rides, drinks and even some pink coloured fairy floss and warm apple pie. My two much older, identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, went to the shops looking for souvenirs and some new summer clothes to wear. Dad, Smoochy and I went down to the pier by the seaside to do some fishing and to look at the large ships passing by.    
After a bit of fishing, and catching a slimy piece of seaweed, we spent time viewing the large ships with the help of Dad's trusty, homemade, fancy, far out, funny binoculars. Dad was getting tired after such a long drive, so he nodded off to sleep on a deckchair by the seaside.    
I stood on the fishing tackle box to get a better view of the very large ships. A huge wave crashed over the bow of a large ship, and then several of its cargo boxes, fell off the side and into the ocean.    
Zooming in with Dad's trusty, homemade, fancy, far out, funny binoculars, I could read the words on the outside of each crate. They spelt out the names of colours, such as: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and even Violet.    
On the bottom of each crate, was the name Fairy Floss, which was the funniest thing of all!    
From the corner of my right eye I saw a large whale swimming towards the floating crates. The whale began to smash all of them apart, with its very powerful long tail. The whale then swallowed up all of the different colours of the floating fairy floss in one huge gulp.    
It then emerged from under the water, but accidentally hit a shipping buoy marker that was floating nearby, flipping it into the air and back down again, right into it's blowhole.    
He swam towards the beach's safety swimming poles, and I thought, 'How I can help this whale with a shipping buoy marker stuck in its blowhole'!    
I fetched my fishing rod and cast it towards him, trying to hook onto the top of the buoy. But I couldn't quite get the hook attached under the top part of it.    
So I felt around in my back pocket and found my, very super sporty, single-shot, stylish slingshot that my Dad had made me last year. I shouted out to my new grouse pet mouse, Smoochy, you'll be right mate. Ready, set, go! whoosh went Smoochy, sailing through the air, luckily he landed on the whales back, first shot.    
I placed some cheese that Mum had made us for an afternoon snack, onto the hook and cast it again. On the third try, it hovered above the shipping buoy. Smoochy caught a whiff of Mum's cheese on the dangling fishing hook.    
He grabbed at the cheese and amazingly, placed the hook under the top part of the shipping buoy. I don't know if Smoochy knew what he was doing or if it was just an almighty lucky fluke.    
I pulled as hard as I could and wound and wound in that fishing line string. The stuck shipping buoy, came off with a pop. and sent Smoochy along for the ride.    
The force made me fall off the fishing tackle box and I landed on my behind. All of a sudden the whale blew a massive blast of multi coloured fairy floss up into the sky. It looked like a colourful rainbow haze just above the waves. Lots of people ran onto the pier to see what was going on.    
The whale then took off for the deep sea ocean, but I swear, as he turned his head towards the seashore, he looked directly at me and gave me a friendly thank-you wink.    
My dad woke up from the loud cheering noise of the excited crowd, but didn't believe me when I told him that I had hooked such a large catch with the help of Smoochy on our whale-of-a-time fishing adventure.    
Smoochy popped back into the safety of my top left-hand side pocket, and I thought I heard him say to me, as quick as a blink, 'please don't do that to me again'.    
I knew the fall backwards made me a bit sore, but boy I knew what I heard, and I will listen more carefully, to see if he talks anymore, for he is my, new pet grouse mouse Smoochy, after all.
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
Jun 2020 · 3.4k
Water Off A Duck’s Back
Mark Jun 2020
From the 3rd diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.      
This week's fun times and great adventures with Smoochy started at the small village pond, just down the road from my home. Which remember, is nestled amongst the trees on a hill in a little country town called, 'Shimmerleedimmerlee'.      
While down at the small village pond, I was feeding Buck the Duck, the wild duck that I have been feeding since I was about four years old. I noticed the water level had dropped down, since my last visit to the pond. I was worried the small village pond may not have enough water in it for Buck the Duck to swim in and drink his daily water.      
Soon, I was getting hungry, and I also had to feed Smoochy and Buck the Duck some of my Super Duper Triple Cheese sandwiches, made with a smidgen of strawberry jam and a small spread of vegemite between each layer of cheese.      
My mum had packed along with the sandwiches a bottle of berry juice and small cut up pieces of apple and banana, a small bunch of green grapes and lots of watermelon sliced into little triangle shapes. All placed together inside a clear plastic bag.      
Before opening the bag you should always turn the bag just three times upside down while at the same time moving all of your fingers between the fruit, from side to side (a bit like playing a trumpet) but with a nervous twitch, I guess) then turn the bag left to right five times only but never ever right to left. There you have it, my creation I call the "Colourful Take-Away Fruit-Blast in a BAG".      
Then, once that part is done you can eat it to your heart's content or until you are as full as a goog. If you like a bit more adventure, you can also perform the easy and exciting, but very secret add-on part which is called the JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra.      
I will give you the secret JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra instructions at the end of today's fun adventure diary entry, but only if you can keep it a secret. It's one of my favourite afternoon creations of all time.      
Ok, back to the day's fun adventure. That afternoon was extremely hot and I decided to take Smoochy home for a lie down in the backyard hammock which is hanging up between the two large trees and under the shade, near dad's unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed, to cool down and rest.      
I told my dad Archie, that the water level in the village pond was at its lowest I have ever seen it in all of my years being there feeding Buck the Duck. Dad said he would take a look when he had time and let me know what's going on.      
The next week I went down to the nearly empty village pond, but Buck the Duck was nowhere to be seen. When dad got home from work he told me he had driven past the pond on the way to work that morning and told me the pond was losing its water because of the consistent hot weather we had been having lately. Dad said the water was evaporating rapidly and that's why Buck the Duck has left to find another home with plenty of water to swim in and drink from.      
I said, we have been feeding him since I was about four years old. It also feels like we have lost part of our family. Dad said, ‘Don’t  worry, I'll think of something, just give me a few days to work it out’.  
So off dad went, into his unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed, to start thinking of a solution and try and get Buck the Duck back home where he belongs. He looked inside the grouse little pet mouse house he built for Smoochy and studied the tubing he designed for Smoochy to get from the top level down to the lower floor.      
All of a sudden, it clicked inside dad's very smart head. He went to the hardware shop and purchased a variety of things. Busy for days and even working at night in his unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed.      
The day had arrived and dad took Smoochy and I down to the small and empty village pond, to show us what he had done.      
He had built a maze of small, medium and large round pipes made out of new coloured plastic and he had even painted them with cool cosmic colours with unusual designs.      
He had looped and even double looped the three different coloured size pipes as they went down the hill and into the small village pond.      
Dad knew that the hot sun would keep evaporating the water from the small village pond, so he used his brains and connected the pipes up to the homes bathroom and kitchen drainage water pipes. He had even installed a filter to pump clean recycled clear water back into the pond.      
Dad told us, the small green coloured tube was for the clean recycled water and Smoochy was to use the medium, yellow coloured tube to whizz down and finally the largest red coloured tube, was for the whole family and friends to use. I named dad's creation the "Tremendously Terrific Triple Tumbling Turning Travelling Tubes".      
After days of having fun, I slid down for the last time, via the large red coloured tube to swim in the pond and guess who bobbed his head up from the water? It was my good old friend, Buck the Duck. I was so happy to have our friendly small village pond duck, back at last.      
Oh I almost forgot to tell you the instructions for the add-on JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra creation. Have you got a pen and paper at the ready?      
Here it is. Hold the bag upside down and make a small hole in the very right-hand corner at the bottom of the bag, get a straw and put it in the hole. Then place a cup near the bag and slowly pour the juice through the straw into the cup. Once done take the straw out and place it in the cup. Then make the small hole into a much bigger hole and empty the rest into your bowl.      
So now you have fruit in a bowl that is not too soggy anymore from the "Colourful Take-Away Fruit-Blast in a BAG" and if you could follow the instructions correctly you also have a cup of fruit juice made from the JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra creation or for fun you can call it, if you can pronounce it.      
The "UpCDownPunchaHolePutinStrawPourtheJuiceinaCup"      
There you have it, but remember to keep it a secret ok?
© Fetchitnow
20 October 2019.
This children’s fun adventure book series, is only for children from ages, 1-100. So please enjoy.
Note: Please read these in order, from diary entry 1-12, to get the vibe of all of the characters and the colourful sense of this crazy mess.
May 2020 · 74
The Days Are Still Golden
Mark May 2020
To the gal who was always by my side
I say, thanks to you, I can almost stem the tide
You were there for me, in the good times and the bad
Even though it was the sixties, it was more than a passing fad
Those distant memories are still etched upon ones mind
For you have made me the man, that you know is so kind
A better person, than the one you never really knew before
So my utmost gratitude, to the gal who I’ll always adore

Don’t feel guilty, it’s not your job in life
Be yourself for me, for I’m the one in strife
I’m not scared of death, just the act of dying
So live your life, ‘cause there’s no use in lying
Back on the mountaintop, with a storm rolling in
We were sitting on the porch, so why not sing
The dark clouds are hovering, so let it be
Waking early every morning, saying, why not me

When I’m six feet under and the days are still golden
Remember it was my parents who got me enrolled in
No signature needed, just pay the balance, when it’s due
All I wanted was a simple life, even if it wasn’t brand new
Learned from elders, reminisced from the youth, nothing to lose
Mainly lived my life, in the here and now, walking in my shoes
Felt joy of love, ached pain of loss, add some envy and greed
Farewell my family and friends, your memories are all I need
Apr 2020 · 1.7k
Peace, Love, Unity n Fun
Mark Apr 2020
So, our hero of tha day waz DJ Herc  
He b driven’ lil Mizz Dazze ‘round, in a pimped out Merc  
Queensbridge waz tha birthplace of Hip-Hop  
Red alert, it just won’t stop  
It will hurt uz a bit  
No more than a **** wid a hit  
Wee all thank Merc 4 puttin’ on dat show  
Smokin’ sum **** n angel dust, wid sum real blow  
A bro named, Coke LA Rock, waz also a financier friend of mine  
Handin’ out goodies 2 tha children in-line, all tha time  
Nickel bag half n ounce, quarter pound pow, now wee poppin’  
Az long az tha music izn’t stoppin’ and tha rocks r still droppin’  
If champagne waz still a flowin’, then tha freaks wood b steppin’ in line  
Hotel, Motel, u don’t tell, wee don’t tell, one-time root 9  
There’s notta man dat can’t b thrown, a horse dat can’t b rode  
A bull dat can’t b stopped, a disco dat can’t b rocked, can u decode  
Were u @ dat famous house party, thee dope  
Spinnin’ tha holy crates of hip-hop, wee hope  
A1 B-boy from every known neighborhood, wid a scent  
From JC, Tony D’, Sweet n Sour, 2 super DJ ‘Fcukin’ Clark Kent  
Sellin’ nickel bags of cannabis, 2 miss layD hoes to mi crew  
Made mi coin roll into notes, helping outta few dat I knew  
Hip-Hop waz made 4 peace, love, unity n fun  
Still b countin’ mi riches, retired n still layin’ in tha hot sun
Apr 2020 · 543
1520 Sedgwick Avenue
Mark Apr 2020
I waz hip-hop since I b in mi mamas womb  
Spittin’ sum rhyme, will give u dat tune  
Yo, he spit da raw  
No need 2 prove anymore
I’m scratchin’ ‘bout, I’m bummy in a downtown shelter  
No use complaining ‘bout wat life I’ve been dealt, nah  

Hit em hard, every generation gotta do wat ya do  
Cuttin’ up fresh is da word, new kid on da block, could b u  
It’s how u survive in da hood  
No layin’ ‘bout, stand up like a real man should  
Don’t want 2 sleep on no choo choo train, no more  
Then get off ya RRRs, do sum thing like neva b4  
From da Juice Crew 2 Mr Magic, down in Boogie Down Bronx Queensbridge is da place 2 b near, it all interlocks  
More MCs drank da water drippin’ down from around here  
Than any udder crib, in da hole ******* world, ya hear  
So trekkin’ from youth, 2 @ 1520 Sedgwick Avenue  
I’m now livin’ in fcukin’ Wonderland, if only Alice really knew
Apr 2020 · 470
True Gangsta
Mark Apr 2020
Yo, I’m tha new ghetto, sworn in king
Mi Hollywood name is Mr. La La
I don't need 2 listen 2 no lo ****
‘Cause all ya barberin’, is just blah blah
I take wat eva hood rat, be wantin’ 2 ***
Just don't tri and steal mi hard earned bling

You're so friggin dope, well thank you, mi new sister girly
You remind me of an ex Brady, she 2 waz a dirtee little birdy
*** into mi crib and I shall show ya tha best time
Grab a smoke and choke on dat hot ***, it won't cost ya a dime

Ride-by just dun, bi sum kids on a bike, it seems
Leaves images I witnessed, carved into mi nightly dreamz
Wild streets aren't designed 4 everybody out there, but me
Dats wi they invented, plain old grey sidewalks, 4 free

I feel totally naked widout it, I'm not a bad **** dirtee turtle
Dats wat mi mama once said, but even I'm shell shocked, can’t ya tell?
But wat ya see, is wat it really means, or so it should
So yes, it's good 2 be tha king of tha whole **** hood

One day I spilt the beans , on sum loyal corner crew boys
I told tha popo, I know dats so lo lo, but they killed using one of mi toys
If you’re not encouraged in life as a child, like most of uz
You'll always be in a cage as an adult, so wats the big fuss?

Attacked Mr Bigs crib and forced his family out, widout any doubt
Nobody likes a smelly snitch, 4 they will be hunted down and blacked out
They chose a new leader 4 da team and told him, ‘Ya better be able to cope’
But, he waz a brother, who neva new how to tie up all tha loose rope

I came on back and killed tha whole **** hood
A true gangsta haz pride and doze wat he should
I just rode on bi, in mi lo ridin’ convertible Jaguar cat
Shot up and sliced up, all doze forma ****** of mine, and dats dat
Apr 2020 · 100
Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast
Mark Apr 2020
I assed da question, where ya bounce?
Mama waz layz peepin da new big tymer, cruizin' thru town
She said, he waz crunk, like outta dis world
They were just poppin' da trunk and keepin’ it real
Da boys were sketchin' and should've just chopped it up
My favourite souljas, now goin' 2 Angola 4 A-187 on da Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast

Yo think she's all dat
But ya girlfriends so stupid
Da 1st time she used a *******
She cracked her 2 front teeth

The 3rd Coast is where da peepole get crunked up, be grilled out and ride on slabs
Down in Texas where they wear, those big belt buckles and jam to da *****
Those cowboys just pop n splash everywhere, all over da hood
That's what ya don't know, 'Bout da Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast

They have sum crazy RRRS partays
Drive sum fine RRRS ******* and cars wid gold grillz
As well as sporting huge silly fat RRRS rims
Backwash swamps and even sum back alley gators

I get my corner boys to sell, all da homie made ice cream
I'll make sure they don't *** anywhere near ya cut
I sell on eBay, a little 1 kilo of hi flyin' kite
Also tried 2 sell da sweets on da corners of mistreets
But da boys try da **** ****, before they sell and get so really cromp
I can't have em leanin', ya all no what I be meanin'

Yo think she's all dat
But ya girlfriends so stupid
Da 1st time she used a *******
She cracked her 2 front teeth

After da show we caught da dude that slapped misista and made her face hot
But before we wrecked him, we visited da famous ‘White Castle’ burger spot
Where we ate those famous, but small burgers dat only cost 35c, cheaper than ***
The popo said, ‘Is you trazy’, we just smiled and kept on eatin' da lot
The cops tried 2 grab us, but they didn't have nathan on us. What ya got?

They have sum crazy RRRS partays
Drive sum fine RRRS ******* and cars wid gold grillz
As well as sporting huge silly fat RRRS rims
Backwash swamps and even sum back alley gators

Ya gotta love Southern hospitality
Depending on where ya go in da Sth
It could be a, ‘Hi, let me *** dat 4 ya, midear’
2, ‘If ya don't stop staring @ me, I'm gonna shoot ya in da face’
So I know the ledge and have got da xtra edge
Over all da udder big tymers, down in da Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast
Apr 2020 · 614
Whoolywood Shuffle
Mark Apr 2020
Cats strayin’ high on Canal Street
Gangsta Grillz feelin’ tha beat
Open air market on Sunday night
African Bootleggin’ sellin’ alright
Sweet dreamz were set on fire
Life’s on tha line, if dats wat ya desire
Coming back to life, from deep down inside
Jesus hung with me, he waz on mi side

Let’s all do tha Whoolywood Shuffle
Don’t get in tha way or you be in trouble
Humpty Dumpty is back together again
Delivery is nuts, no buts, Amen
Drop tha bass, like a hot sorta guy
While white lab boys, be makin’ ya buy
99 cents, where’s tha beef in mi vege burger wrapper
Rubber-banding out so loud, **** dat mad hatter

Mi baby mama could neva just sit
Let tha hood hear just a wee lil bit
Crack it on up, in tha main trap house
Blue magic for real, like Mickey tha Mouse
East coast flow, wid a Southern kinda drawl
Come in or move on, just don’t crawl
Queens n Bronx, echoed down on Canal Street
Dum Dum Dum it was such a bubblin’ beat
Apr 2020 · 561
Chop n Screw
Mark Apr 2020
Chop n ***** it to bits
Just mix a little, then taste all da blenz
Dolby two sided cassette re-mix
Plastic record kinds, always my frendz
Trippin' like now, da way dat we do
Ya ***** nor crew just can't explain
Absolute phenomenal my man, whoa!
Leanin' on da switch, gave us instant fame

Doin' it on a regular, everyday
Even city folk can relate, in sum strange way
Slab kings rising from the dead
No motor, no nothin', nothin' but crew
Yellowstone candy, if dats wat ya fancy
Or black, bolly boyz, colored candy
Black sheriff riding *******, along da Southside
Giddy up, Giddy up, never you mind

Drinkin' drank, scissor or lean
Know dat we really can be mean
We in da ***** house, not in **** lockup
Get ya cups, then take a seat, backup
3'N da mornin' we ****
Sippin' on da syrup, smokin' on ya dope
Yo *****, Candy, lick it all up
Wat it does, is it gives da hood hope
Mar 2020 · 403
Small Mind, No Matter
Mark Mar 2020
Man, you keep on spillin’
More than you’re a fillin’
So, you should never ever get all ya money
Where ya be gettin’ all of ones honey
You’ve inherited a handful of ritzy
An amount I’d say is just a little itsy bitsy
But I was born with a face full of glamour
So I guess now, I’m ritzy and glamorous, and so much more

You always did have a small mind, no matter
If I had to choose between you and my ex, I’d take the latter
‘Cause your always showing off to your friends
Think ya  cool, cruisin’  Rodeo Drive, in a pimped out Benz
Little mama’s boy, hiding below those colored skin sketches
Paying for a little salad on the side, ‘cause they all let ya call dem *******

I own it now baby and I know its all from you
You owe me much more than what’s already overdue
You made me who I am today, even if it took over a decade
You showed me the figures I spent on your entertainment tab
But ya never were really that good at basic math
So before I left, I let the police know, you’re a sociopath.
Mar 2020 · 77
Mark Mar 2020
I’ve lost every **** thing I once had, just layin’ around
Still waitin’ for most of it, maybe one day it’ll be found
Now been living my life day by day, most of the time
Can’t think back to the past, when I had an actual dime
Can only look forward to a pay cheque, once a week
If that doesn’t come in, well I’m up **** creek

The way the world goes up and down, then all around
We should all lose our grip, floating about, never to be found
But somehow most of mankind, find their way back home
And only a handful get to jet out past the invisible dome
Discovering new lands, stars, moons and an alien or two
While some of the bravest souls, live homeless, without a clue

I still have my pride, even if I’ve lost my family of three
Just want the best for the two that I still love, don’t worry about me
One day soon, I will be reunited again, in a place high above
I’ll roll out the red carpet, pour from the fine China tea set
Might even have the big fella over, to greet the family at our new abode
So I might’ve lost everything on the land where I once slept

But in the very end, I’ve once again found every **** thing that I lost....
Mar 2020 · 85
Live It Up
Mark Mar 2020
Be ever so polite, if ya want to impress a gals, Ma and Pa
Park outback for a while, smokin’ n swiggin’ in the back of ones car
Get yourselves tipsy, during prohibition, down in Mississippi
Turn up, keep close, never tell that you entered a speakeasy
If ya dance, ya gotta chance
So don’t be shy now, ask that gal, she could be your true romance
Or be a drunk in the corner, eyeing off, what ya didn’t work for
Then gettin’ popped in the skull, that’ll teach ya, for being so dull

So live it up at the *****, held at your suburban town hall
It comes about but once a month, so come along y’all
There’s slicked back hair, gin n tonic in the air, everywhere
Gents combing over the scene, watching bluebirds add their flair
Gals in cubicles, gossiping while reapplying their glam mask
And inserting the correct coin into the right slot, oh what a task

Then if you’ve caught the eye of a white dove
You’ll drive her home, if it fits like a glove
Plant a seed or scatter them all, along the belly of the mountain peaks,
It could end up being a wonderful life, married to a wife that every man seeks
I will try my best, a promise I made myself, within my four walls
While learning to dance with myself in the mirror, I’ll have my chance, if I ever find the **** *****.
Courage and having the *****
Mar 2020 · 153
Second Chance
Mark Mar 2020
As we shout and dance about life’s mysterious game
So greedy we all are for riches and our fifteen minutes of fame
You won’t have an ounce, once you are buried and gone
But for me sharing and caring is plenty enough in this life

Maybe a bit at a time like around half of what we got
Would be ample for someone without having the lot
Then you’d realise this life is not all that it’s cracked up to be
It might take a lifetime but hopefully you would someday see
So for me sharing and caring is the real stuff of life

When you are long and gone beneath this soil we call earth
Society should admire you and pray for their own spiritual rebirth
Imagine a world full of people being able to have a second chance
I’d think we’d rid the world of war, so go on make a stance
Hopefully you appreciate what you have in this your daily life.
Mar 2020 · 1.5k
Dav E Crockett
Mark Mar 2020
Bang, bang, bang, baaannggg
I dreamed I was dying and goin’ to hiphop heaven
Wow, what a dope sight it was to have seen.

Last night I was shot and arrived at hiphop heaven.
And you know who met me at the big bling gates?
The original kings of da hood themselves, Run DMC.
They said to me, they said, “Bro, the Big Dude of the
hood up here, has told us to show you around the crib.
So come with us.
Now standing on da corner is some of your favourite homies.

“**** I was glad to see them, The Notorious B.I.G. and the maestro of rap Tupac Shakur.

I dreamed I was dead in hiphop heaven
Wow, what a dope sight it was to have seen.

They introduced me to Snoop Dog, and they showed me the Ghetto of Fame with all the gold chains and number one hits up upon da wall.
Then they said, “Bro, walk this way, there are a few more hiphop stars, that I know you’re dying to meet, they’re hangin’ for you.
“There they were chillin’ by the curbside and staring down at me - Eminem and AKA MCA.

Bang, bang, bang, baaannggg

I met all my heroes right from the get go
**** what a privilege to have finally met
Then I asked them, who else do you think will join y’all, uh, say twenty five years from now?

They handed me a book of sheet music covered with graffiti.
They named it the Hood 4 Life Book.
In it, were many names and some were already highlighted in black texta.
I began to scan the pages and saw names such as, Dolla,
Pop Smoke, Juice WRLD, Nipsey Hussle, Easy-E, Lisa Lopes, Nate Dogg, Lil Peep, Jam Master Jay, J Dilla, Proof, Soulja Slim, Big Hawk, Prodigy, Camoflauge, Natina Reed, Charizma, Bloodshed, Big Bank Hank and  Dav E Crockett.

Dav E Crockett?
Oh, well, that's when I woke up, and I'm sorry I did, because

I always dream I’d end up in hiphop heaven
Wow, what a dope sight it would be, y’all be knowin’ what I mean?
Mar 2020 · 116
A Door Just Shut In My Mind
Mark Mar 2020
Been trackin' my journey, along The Mississippi Delta line
*****, drugs or just bad luck, has put my life into decline
Broken family, abusive mother, stepfather would only groan
When bashed for not eatin' my mash, ran into the unknown
Hitched my thumb out, on the famous route 66 to LA
Cruisin' with girls, in a pickup, hair all messed up, in a Chevrolet

A door just shut in my mind, with a bang
California sounds, like a good place to hang
The sunshine means you can go surfin' all year long
Locals told me, it's where they felt it was the place to belong
Handsome dude, gob smackin' tanned Californian gal
Fitness freak *****, boulevard busker high on morale

Never stay about for a brutal end to the day
Make the ones hurtin' you, instead of nurturing, pay
Wave the *******, as you slam the door shut
In a life on your own, like an island,not in a rut
Be the one, seeking the sun, your life definitely more rotund
In the end, remember, life is a ticket without a refund.
Mark Mar 2020
Down in the ghetto, real
****** stand together
Me and my 2nd in charge had an
alibi that breezed us on through
Sued the NY Times and their racist news
for they had no clue about us
The judge winked us both off and
later was paid what he was due
Corrupt, corrupt judiciary
The reasons for this are mostly monetary
No questions ... it’s just customary

While the Judges, Lawyers, Popo’s, too
Lookin’ for a way to make a few extra dimes
They were askin’ ‘bout, tryin’ to cash in, all da time
What judge or man wouldn’t agree ‘bout raisin’
a little bread on da side
No questions ... it’s just customary

I then asked a judge, why doesn’t the NY Times
take a bribe, so they don’t need to report all da crimes
I listened with intrigue and right away I saw the signs
Then my eyes closed tighter, as I hear what he describes
Judiciary started callin’ and Popo’s started fallin’
Shhhush . . . it’s just customary

While the Judges, Lawyers, Popo’s, too
Lookin’ for a way to make a few extra dimes
They were askin’ ‘bout tryin’ to cash in, all da time
What judge or man wouldn’t agree ‘bout raisin’
a little bread on da side
No questions ... it’s just customary

Well the New York Times is owned by the Irish
and not by a wealthy enclave of Jews
I think I just made my very last mistake
He fired a pistol from under his robe
and shot me to da ground
And I heard him sayin’ “Never **** with da men in da gown”
Corrupt, corrupt judiciary
The reasons for this are mostly monetary
I’d asked to many questions ... it’s just customary

While the Judges, Lawyers, Popo’s, too
Lookin’ for a way to make a few extra dimes
They were askin’ ‘bout tryin’ to cash in, all da time
What judge or man wouldn’t agree ‘bout raisin’
a little bread on da side
No questions ... it’s just customary.
Mar 2020 · 161
She Ain’t Into Me No More
Mark Mar 2020
I don’t know why, just like before
I don’t understand how she cut me off
I’d found a diamond in the rough
Just kept given my heart n soul and stuff
We both reached for our seatbelt and we both buckled up
We were roller coasting, with small hiccups and a bit of muck

This wasn’t an act from a performing monkey
Just thought wow and thanked god, I’m so lucky
This was performed by a guy who had a crush
Didn’t think about a wedding day, there was no rush
Just so happy and thrilled, for whom I had met
The way we looked at each other, you’d never guess

But suddenly, she told me, she ain’t into me no more
She wanted it to be like before, but got the itch to explore
So she’s out there somewhere, free roaming about
While I’ve decided to stay in my bedroom, just moping about
Next time I’ll keep that in mind, when dating a girl
Still be myself, but don’t get into her so deep, not like before.
Mar 2020 · 59
That Moment In Life
Mark Mar 2020
Girl you broke my heart last time  
Can I trust you again from the flip of a coin  
I sure do still have pain  
From jagged little tears of my heart  
And the memory of that moment in life  
When your luck ran out exiting the door of the boy next door    
And now you want me to once again trust  
How long before I catch you with another lust  
If I do indeed take you back into my arms  
Will I need to shield my love from more harm  
For if I’ve only got thin skin for protection  
Girl I could end up as a lonely recluse  
A lonely recluse, girl, ****  
Girl and those loose lips of yours  
Your heart needs to be locked from opening doors  
You’re such a cutie, you’re much nicer than before, the girl I will always adore, a real needle in a haystack  
You think you know what it takes to be mine  
But you know you have some flaws  

I shouldn’t have to pray or pay to investigate    
Girl you got such a pretty face  
Would take me a whole lifetime to find again  
But I’d rather start searching, the entire human race  
Than put up with the lying and dishonesty by you  
And if I don’t find my journeys soulmate  
Or pass some by, that throw me some bait  
I’ll live my life alone and at least in peace  
Girl I would rather a lonely reclusive life, than hell.
Thx TR
Mar 2020 · 139
Divine Intervention
Mark Mar 2020
Divine Intervention:

Sometimes things just suddenly appear
Sometimes they’re ever so clear
My dreams awake, before I can touch
And thoughts rush into, my curious mind

Sometimes things just suddenly appear
It’s as though waking, will make it so clear
If it’s divine intervention, I may believe
Might even start kneeling
Such curiosity for my mind

It’s never just out of reach
It’s always just so close
I feel just a gentle breeze
Then suddenly, I shake all about, upon waking

So, we’ll pretend we can almost touch
We'll see it just as we like
Hopefully it’ll be just like before
And better still, I’ll still have my mind

But, I know what I just saw, wow
I’m suddenly a believer, in someone above
How sweet (I know how sweet) just pretend, don’t tell
I’ll see just as before
Suddenly I’ll know
And never again, I’ll just trust my mind

No more appearances
So long divine interventions
Bye bye mind...
Mark Mar 2020
If true, if true, then prove it to me  
Tell me, when did your life have any meaning?
In the mind, in the mind  
Where everyone’s dreams are so kind  
But in the end it won’t have the same meaning for all  
If true, if true, can you show me real proof  
I'm conveying to all what I envisage each night  
In the mind, in the mind  
Where everyone’s dreams are so kind  
But in the end it won’t have the same meaning for all  
If true, if true, then prove it to me  
Tell me, when did your life have any meaning?
In the mind, in the mind  
Where everyone’s dreams are so kind  
But in the end it won’t have the same meaning for all  
My journey was essential, for it to end at an actual destination  
I’ve learnt a little, lost more than I got  
My heart was strong when needed most  
And my good name enshrined for eternity, I hope  
If true, if true, then prove it to me  
Tell me, when did your life have any meaning?
In the mind, in the mind  
Where everyone’s dreams are so kind  
But in the end it won’t have the same meaning for all.
Feb 2020 · 980
Mark Feb 2020
I’m so nice, I’m so nice
Poppin’ ‘bout life and poverty
Saluting freedom, then liberty
Barbering ‘bout broken homes
Police brutality and fake politics
Then, puttin’ one shoe, upon a petal stool
Next day, breakin’ da number one rule
Shakin’ da jewellery, just like a toff
Makin’ the op-po-sit-ion, just take it off

I’m killing them, I’m killing them
Soap operas, sports 24/7, real life reality
What has dat done, to da young ones mentality
Expect da government, to pay for their new home
Pupils wide open, but grammatically ****
Blaming Putin, instead of Democrats cockiness
While Trump and Republicans, are gettin’ on with business
Wake up USA, land of da free, but nothin’ without a fee
Be yourself, respect your elders, dats wat ya wanna be
Feb 2020 · 112
Psychedelic Den
Mark Feb 2020
Now there’s a sandbox in the house, as though lying on the beach.
Boys, I just had a thought, maybe if we just listen and not at all teach.
Now a teepee etched on the mind, from within my psychedelic den,
by reliving ones childhood, it might make us wise men, again.
Piano tuning, garnished with sea salt, sinking even deeper,
down with non-believers, rejected by the crazy gatekeeper.
Add a pinch of snorting pepper, minds are suddenly lighter, than dark.
While sitting on the same pile of sand, as a pack of squatting dogs bark,
yelping pups protesting in Downtown Main Street.
Upon hearing some musical witchcraft, with a constant zombie beat,
Demonstrating ‘bout a propaganda communist war.
While rushin’ to eat a smorgasbord full of paranoia, that’s for sure.
A preacher man telling us all, god just jumped off, with a man on the moon.
Meanwhile, climbing four walls of my bedroom, can’t find a way out, anytime soon,
as a voice in my head, is telling me, “To be even more bizarre”.
For too many lonely years in bed, I finally woke up, by plucking at my guitar,
then back upon the stage, in beautiful California, the greatest surfing town.
Still getting nasty flashbacks though, oh how LA can weigh you down.
Feb 2020 · 177
Uncle Sam or Tom
Mark Feb 2020
The blues are in us all, no matter where your from
Not just in Uncle Sam or from a good ole Uncle Tom
If bitten, there’s all sorts of tricks and charms
If no color doctor about, tune into blues, to heal your qualms
But don’t sing it, if you aren’t prepared to bring it
Bottles are going to sink and eventually hit
Walls will be crawled up, then bounced off, in a rage of fit
But it’ll take a lifetime dose of blues music, to rid every **** hurting bit.
Feb 2020 · 112
Sleepin’ On The Rope
Mark Feb 2020
A guitarist from Alabama, kept on giving, even whilst laying in the hot sun    
Although he was taught the ropes, by the original Robbie Johnson    
The young teenager named Lockwood, from Turkey Scratch    
Was a maestro studio muso, but couldn’t lite a dry match    
He never made the pop charts with the record paying folks    
But a legend in the music scene, recording with other blokes    
Still, some people like me, would chuck a silver nickel in a jukebox, for a wopp    
In the beginning, most bands were sleepin’ on the rope.
Feb 2020 · 185
Cotton Pickin’
Mark Feb 2020
Only friend I’ve ever had
Was my dear ole slave dad
He told me once, think about your future
Forget about the south’s criminal past
Cotton pickin’ and turnin’ plow, on a plantation field
He never once saw the money that it did yield
Big boss said, he almost cleared the books
Plantation bosses are the real crooks
Daddy gave them a fistful, got a spoonful in return.
Feb 2020 · 57
Pure Music
Mark Feb 2020
Pure music, is just three chords and some homemade truth
Much like the glory days, of New York Yankees and Babe Ruth
It’s like eating chicken one day, feathers the next
Or totally in love, ending in a divorce court, with no respect
She can make you cry, smile, think or dream, how bizarre
It can sound like being inside, an old worn out guitar
Being perfectly picked and plucked, as one should
Fully surrounded by good ole seasoned wood
Like a community is unity, which once went without saying
It’ll help propel the voice of the next generation, in the making
No matter where you are in the world, that’s admiring
Music could be the meaning, to what it’s all about, so awe inspiring.
Mark Feb 2020
Am I really living?  
Am I just a holy ghost?  
Created from something within our space,  
Or maybe sent from the command outpost.  
Tell me how,  
Show me a sign, of a life before man  
I’m just a curious type, I need to know more  
Because before this life ends for me  
I want to learn, I want to see  
Just show me which way, I know you can, you can.  
People, losing their minds,  
Throwing out children into society  
Bullying, Jealousy, then murdering for notoriety    
People, use to have a choice,  
But now they shutdown free speech.  
People, oh no,  
Weren’t meant to divide this world  
If all this hate doesn’t stop happening real soon,  
Stop happening, stop happening soon we’re doomed.  
Hear me, I’ve not got long to go,  
Give me your answer real soon,  
Can’t wait for the man on the moon  
Need that message in a bottle  
Can’t wait for mankind to find you  
People, oh no (we’ve all been created the same),  
Don’t divide the world,  
We sometimes forget we should all adore  
Can everyone imagine a world full of peace?  
Mohammad, Buddha, Jesus or Lennon, sing a little louder,  
Make it more meaningful and inspirational  
Do it, do it for free.  
(Dream on) Dream on.  
(Dream on) Dream on,  
Dream on together  
Am I still living  
Your just as confused as me.  
Your just one man with a much larger family  
Show us the way observing from high above our galaxy.  
Not got that long,  
You know what I mean  
Not got that long,  
Not got that long to go.  
In the end I might know....
Mark Feb 2020
When are they gonna break away
Or when are they going to die
Did I miss what society had to say
Should I have just turned the same way

We all think we can beat the odds
Some hadn’t even placed a single bet
Am I the only one, that listened to me and not them
This life’s too simple, to be ruined by an honest mistake

So wake up children who choose white laced candy
When their night’s start, just as the sun begins to wake
You can't even chat, face to face, that’s not very dandy
Just admit, you have a problem, it’s with your addiction

Find the sun as it rises to bake
Burning ever so slightly, enough to open your eyes
Then, just take a **** good hard look at yourself
Beyond that pale face and those awful lies

Who’s face do you look at in the mirror
Can you see the real you, hidden amongst the cracks
It could take you a lifetime to show your true self
Getting back on track, hopefully then, you’ll reappear

Maybe you'll come back down to earth
There's still plenty of hope and dreams to fulfil
Demons deep inside, know they can’t live in this paradise
In the end, it’s up to you, don’t let this be your very last meal

So wake up children, who choose white laced candy
When their night’s start, just as the sun begins to wake
You even fear chat, face to face, that’s not very dandy
Just admit, you have a problem, it’s with your addiction

Find the sun as it rises to bake
Burning ever so slightly, enough to open your eyes
Oh, just take a good hard honest look at yourself
Beyond your pale face and all of your lies.
Feb 2020 · 82
Waste of S P A C E
Mark Feb 2020
If we are alone, we’ve been hiding away from outer space
But if we aren’t alone, they’ll find our hidden bit of space
Mark Feb 2020
I found my life partner  
Beautiful, smart
Witty and flirty
**** so loving

Everything one desires

She just took off
With my former ex  
Happy with either ***
She’s bi  
I’m ‘bout to die

I should’ve felt vibes  
Never saw past the disguise  
Friends could’ve warned me
What I couldn’t recognize  
I found my life partner  
Beautiful, smart
Witty and flirty
**** so loving  
I don’t want to torture
Or torment her
Like a martyr  
Mama said,  
“It’s all about love”  
But if you’ve never worn,
that other hat,  
How would you feel?
It felt right
How I imagined it  
I cared for her, every bit  
Everyone deserves a second chance  
Who hasn’t taken a second glance?  
If I’d found out earlier,
would I ditch her instead?  
If they told me what they knew
would it **** the love in bed?  
Shouldn’t hidden knowledge be only used for good?  
Shush, Shush, enough said...
Thx to my friend H, for her shortened version of the original song lyrics, made into a great poem.
Jan 2020 · 52
Home Base
Mark Jan 2020
I wasn’t ready for this big old world
Some were back again, but I wasn’t told
Others couldn’t cope, not being so dope
They didn’t answer calls, just hung up by a rope
The born again and believers in reincarnation
Saw a revelation or got the wrong interpretation
Figuring out their downfall, once they recall
Well, that’s what they think, the last time again

It’s such a wonderful place, even if it’s a rat race
People are running about, children lying about
The world and the environment, I now doubt
Schools, Magazines, even TV, show that place
Where we all get along, we dare not disagree
But we were given a choice, God’s gift to him, her and me
Did he lie, was she joking, is this not the case
Should I still pray, to be able to enter home base
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