Be ever so polite, if ya want to impress a gals, Ma and Pa
Park outback for a while, smokin’ n swiggin’ in the back of ones car
Get yourselves tipsy, during prohibition, down in Mississippi
Turn up, keep close, never tell that you entered a speakeasy
If ya dance, ya gotta chance
So don’t be shy now, ask that gal, she could be your true romance
Or be a drunk in the corner, eyeing off, what ya didn’t work for
Then gettin’ popped in the skull, that’ll teach ya, for being so dull

So live it up at the *****, held at your suburban town hall
It comes about but once a month, so come along y’all
There’s slicked back hair, gin n tonic in the air, everywhere
Gents combing over the scene, watching bluebirds add their flair
Gals in cubicles, gossiping while reapplying their glam mask
And inserting the correct coin into the right slot, oh what a task

Then if you’ve caught the eye of a white dove
You’ll drive her home, if it fits like a glove
Plant a seed or scatter them all, along the belly of the mountain peaks,
It could end up being a wonderful life, married to a wife that every man seeks
I will try my best, a promise I made myself, within my four walls
While learning to dance with myself in the mirror, I’ll have my chance, if I ever find the **** *****.