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Feb 2019 · 214
Nursery Droll
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
Here, behold me
What say you?
Here, you fold me
Teared and true
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
Herald of the sacred keep
Thunder in his gilded hand
Stirring all the souls who weep
Into realms of floating sand
Feb 2019 · 140
Encumbrance
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
My shoulders are so heavy
With overarching pain
All gone, far gone
Carnivorous memory
Bronze chandeliers in the old home
Foreign tea with the circus Baron
Seething with forgotten blood
Strained from anemic bones
Feb 2019 · 272
Love in Woe
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
I must learn happiness
Lest she leave me
To mine own devices
Which have decayed in woe
Feb 2019 · 335
Hood of Youth
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
Before too long,
Youth learns vanity
And learns to belong
In shallow capacity
Feb 2019 · 243
Animal's Beginning
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
This house is not my home
Nor the fields I roam
I would dream happily
Of blissful Honolee

If I hadn't given up
Childhood's sweetened cup
The animal's beginning
Traded pounds and shilling

This is rugged life
Human in our strifes
Reject the plated divinity
Reach for skin's brevity

An overture in ink
Composed on silver sinks
Marvel at the child
Who leaves their parent's guild

Lest we all be built
Of aging blood and bills
Feb 2019 · 328
Marda Loop
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
I love it when the sun is yellow
And over a crescent hill
It doesn’t hurt much, you see
It has no eyes to fill

But my driver cannot stand it
On this part of the highway
She says she cannot see
She rejects the light of day

But the sun smiles so wildly
And the roads are so hostile
That I could never stand to be
Something sullen and senile

Drive with your head open
Burn love into your eyes
Drive with your head open
And let the day suffice

I’d hate to die on beaten grass because of the glare
And make the news on Marda Pass, breeding despair
Feb 2019 · 508
A Nation Shares Its Sun
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
Grab the child of the forlorn place
Liberation paints their heads
The gun is held as the bible mace
Freedom lives in lead

Father watches Capetown port
Batons whip their tattered cross
Yellow tags on scarred cohorts
Happy children, born of loss

Kings feast on country plates
Satiated, complacent
Place the stone on people’s fate
And bless the nation nascent
Feb 2019 · 307
The Binate
Derrek Estrella Feb 2019
I simply don't believe, and I will not obtain anything from nothingness!

Oh, don't be like the fools you decry with ardor!

I believe I am true to myself.

You lie with illusions, feast on your own brain.

Feeding my beliefs in admittedly macabre manners.

Have you lost your sextant, sailor? Where is the lighthouse of your mind? Who has locked your benevolent gate?
Jan 2019 · 175
Soft Compass
Derrek Estrella Jan 2019
I've fallen so badly
In the loveliest way
She is youth and hope
Peace incarnate

She will lead me astray
To the strangest of lands
I climb up her rope
To life's golden sands

Should I give myself fully
She would do me no harm
She lifts the whole sky
No earthly alarms

To the void's long keep
We'll breathe with the angels
In softened sighs
To the top of old Babel

Amidst harrowing storms
Jagged, veiny towers
The zenith of brevity
The brassen bellows

On top of this sap-laden tree
Where the stars finally contort
And intercept the grass itself
We will rest in a cedarn cove
Jan 2019 · 292
Sundry Town
Derrek Estrella Jan 2019
One more knock to the head and it’s over
One less dreadfully said and I bend over
Say it loud from this sundry town
And I’ll keel, sober

One less lesion to bed and I’m healthy
One more lesson in lead for my safety
Say it loud in your sundry gown
Dare to take me

On the end of the road is a playground
We’ll be safe and not make a sound
Can we swing until we’re found?
No one’s around in the canopy
Envelop me

I’ll write as if life is shy
I’ll mime as if it has something to hide
I’ve a deal with the sky
Which made my hand temporary
In our canopy
Jan 2019 · 296
The Old Vineyard Gait
Derrek Estrella Jan 2019
Christened on billiard paper
Lo and fro, oh no
Love comes to the town again
And I am rendered spent
A recalcitrant pen begging,
"God knows when,
He'll hurt my beard, rest me deep under again"

Mother! Mother!
Hear my forlorn screams
They are inauthentic
They yearn to be redeemed

Father, you, sister!
Watch this cold hand
They were born spastic
Neutered with a brand

A brand that loves to burn alone
A brand that seethes, kiss the bone
Take me to a walk in your grove
I couldn't do anything in your cove
Just a lover's weary shove
Until you take me above
There, the night will reign with a shadow
Jan 2019 · 301
Earning The Cold Keep
Derrek Estrella Jan 2019
Born to beg
Human touch
Ask of it
Sell myself for it

Inauthentic thrift
Fed winter's coal
Drinking the winter sleet
A conscious envelope

Sympathy divulges vanity
The mind is borne on spines
Beaten backs and chalk lines
The factory smog blanket

The film reel is tainted
Nullified by the future
Blood is upheld through drink
Or the scraps 'neath the kitchen sink

Mistress and minstrel
Colliding in such fashion
The green of grass but the soil
Which accentuates the home

The smoking pipe for the open mind
And love's ill script
Black soot of night, laid on wheat
The farmer's purple grain

The miner earns alone
Jan 2019 · 920
Heaven Delivered Our Coal
Derrek Estrella Jan 2019
Pigeon-striped with a polyester hat
How can he look so nice and feel so sad?
“It’s a momentary lapse in sadness
Brewed in prudence and gladness”

Fret not for the velvet shoe that stalks you
Cry a well for all the leather hides
That you wear upstairs for kindred brides
Another lover bred to love untrue

“Is there something else I’d like to say?
Efficiency is drenched in dismay
Jewelled epaulettes on deafened shoulders
Something more incise, I shall solder"

Heaven delivered our coal
Sat atop a gilded pole
Heaven delivered our coal
By lawful life, we are loveless moles

Ruby-haired and lilac-nailed
How can she arouse yet taste so stale?
“Hold my vindication in a brooch
Open my heart in reproach"

Fret not for the saddle in your ‘mare
It will take you to a mining town
There, you will earn yourself a gown
And fall on the soldered stairs

“Is there something else I’d like to say?
I am to be blackened for my pay
Else I resign to a red ribbon
And use almighty love as a weapon"

Sweet life, what’s to surmise?
Moths in the corners of our eyes
Writing as a fly in a frame
Spot the hideous, spotted dame

Watch your place, hold your pace

Heaven delivered our coal
Sat atop a gilded pole
Heaven delivered our coal
By lawful life, we are loveless moles
Jan 2019 · 219
End In Earnest
Derrek Estrella Jan 2019
Everything runs out in time
It's a debate on how we get there
So long as it's done without a care
Then life was worth its crimes
And your hand will pass in mine

This pen I swing as a claymore
To ward off sinking erosion
To etch out my brain's implosion
And voyage through the door
Where I will lay forever more

Prithee, I pray, no more attention
Hold your lust for the preacher
Become a wistful creature
Drawn on the strings of earthly tension
Where pain is of no mention
Dec 2018 · 2.4k
A Mirrored Spoon
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
I've bent my mouth up to my ear
Believing in the stuff belief is made of
Milk replaced by silky biers
Losing my fingers to the Barren Baron Dove

Hurts to admit I'm stealing away
A curly knife held to my ear
Simple, crimpled, waning days
Throw unto the heart of the pier

Lark and tumble
Bark and fumble

Still those tired eyes of dust
I have found the beveled rhythm
Among the pristine clouds of rust,
Entropy's daily rhythm

Wake away the roaring morning
Rising heat in waxing dawn
Spend the many days adorning
The beating pulse of the fawn

Stupefied, nullified
Numb and in crumbs
A stump to the vein
A lump of sweetened pain
Dec 2018 · 352
Tend To The Horn
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
Nothing but a forlorn pain
Phantoms of art
Snake charmers
Larva tamers
“Free Me from the sun”

Helicopter steed
Blaring Gjallarhorn
Crystalline ammunition
Shrub-like heads
Civilian militants

Snake charmers, take my hands
Sting them once again
Render me strong and heartless
Tend to my obsidian horn
It grows longer as the sun subsides

Blood on the papers
Christened for television
Whitened crusade
Negotiation for control
Count your blessings

Arm the hangars
Send the reserves
Whip the cavalry
Watch the nation
Watch them bleed again
Dec 2018 · 254
It May Rain
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
There, it may bring a monsoon
And you may cry under the moon
Legs shaking, nowhere fast
What will stay and who will pass?

Calm your lingering itch
Life is fleeting, tears are stitched
You need not work another day
Go home, there's naught to say

Saunter in your blanket
There's no need to ride your regret
Twist the key in
Believe that you may start again

Drone and strain your innocence
In nectar nests
The future must hold something more
Than validation that it's all a chore
There lays a door

Stay a while for yourself
The sun is domineering
A prophet engineering
Life walks on without a care
What are we to see?
We must think that we can choose to breathe
Dec 2018 · 216
Sibil's Joke
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
I float out of mind, or the visages of time
Born from the gusts of a star’s mighty stillness
I fly to a sphere of lovers and mimes
Still, no one can bear to notice my dress

Dear- she is silent, yet stands so close
The eyes pierce my body, smiling fro
The human gaze is one of repose
Is there something the cosmos did not show?

I'm an actor! The Guile! Kaleidoscopic motion!
In the midst of monotony, the lumbering locomotives
I laugh on stained tiles, I'm a star of devotion!
Know me, fools! My essence is votive!

O vile and veiled stage, which I perform under!
Is my passion redundant, and my words so tasteless?
This is my dream, that fate struck asunder
I can't feed myself at my worst or my best

I think I will go back to star Sirius' caress.

Years- the passing of time
Insurmountable to my looping eye
Not so much as a dent in their grime
The vice of the purpose, unhinged by a sigh

What can one choose to bear
When ******* the clasp of cosmic hands
When all one sees are fleeting stares
And their last teacher is time’s command

Not a single ear hears
Not a single voice cheers
No hands, free to jeer
For I am not here

The joke is as old as the star that birthed me
As careless as a rampant sea
Dec 2018 · 1.5k
Before, The Memoir
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
On the evening of August 6th
The body is separated, eviscerated
Stone walls
Lost thralls
A family takes their evening stroll
And finds themselves imprisoned
Their umbilical cord, cut down the half
Microwave oven
Searing monsoon shower
Vagrant feet are shackled
Eyes are blinded with exhaust pipes
The East is not allowed to cry alone
Decay, wail on
Wail on
Contain us
Dear Marcus, free me
From these Pyrrhic victories
Clean this dusky mall
I feel safe under phosphoric lights
Guerillas swing on electric wires
Transatlantic conversations
Acquired on paper
Perverse
Desecrated
Red cloth seizes everything
Stray, running felines
The impassioned, waving flag
Kept in a velvet pocket
Stay here, stay a while
This cold era is a rising draft
The Bermuda Triangle
Quarantined
No more ships crawl along the winded shore
A time capsule
The nation sinks into antiquity
The brink of armageddon
Cusp of oblivion
Crimson hand of eternity
An old, whittled clock
Last minute
Cold Turkey!
God almighty
Peace is never promised
But we may yearn again
Nobody is free
But we are safe for another hour
God almighty
Leases on the lands
Paid in thorns
Nations playing circles
Mr. Versus Mr.
An ever-changing world
Stagnant and tightly oiled
Save this soil
It will cave in silence
The clockmaker sits in the backdrop
Readying her tools
Dec 2018 · 445
I Am Born, I Am Weak
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
Before the world calls again
We must make amends with the wind
Look not towards, turn around
Learn to challenge your mound
The world is erupting in earnest
Pearls rim the bulletproof vests
Another bay of mammals
Stripped of their enamel

Watchful eye, clockmaker
***** hands on blood bakers
Stagnant relics of the past
Wailing worms on salted masts
Crowded church, bullet tears
Limping for the flaking fears
Mountains bring a gilded path
For the saints, a shallow bath

Handcuffed legs, boarded hands
Folded on a calm command
Rotting hope, livid arms
For the magnate, no alarm
Bracket helm, grainy green
Swords are drawn on gabardines
No God will eat a tear
And dead they flow, winded pier

Dead they crow, winded pier

Billowed fire, riverside
Cower under thickened hides
Excess arms upon the dock
Sandinista on the rock
Triggers sold in tragedy
Lilting light, youth will cease
Leaders sleep in padded wells
Suffer mother, drink from hell

Here’s the hero, banner flown
Ruby paper, nature grown
Skeptic in the eye of rhye
Naked comics sing to die
The site is exiled from the shore
Stricken by a fiery pore
Steel-laced curtains, hesitance
Infidels in happenstance

Here is fortune, there lays war
I have sold a solid car
Husband creaks, mother moans
Children bred to take a bone
With a blonded, slanted eye
Astronauts will learn to fly
All the while, a preacher seeks
A pinstriped caddie and a freak

I am born and I am weak
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
Walking alongside the horizon
Of the striped tie trees
And living for a trump card
Wasting in patterns of living lard

New melodies that caress me
With colloquialism cascading over the sea
It’s what they’re born to do
Do not add it to your mindstew

Link the speech diligently
Live your dawning belligerently
And don’t run out of too many words
Don’t flutter your mind over spells like a bird

My sweet greatness, give me some bones
Nothing else is holding them still
Would it be trite to watch my tone?
I am as flippant as a burning windmill

Help me here, it’s easy to be a stranger
It’s easy to stay filled
It’s easy to ****

Help me stay deprived
It’s better than needing more to be alive
Dec 2018 · 221
A Fragment Collective
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
False- on flying feet
Shawls of holy bleats
Call down his mighty fleet
Callous men of twelve defeats

Truly of the uncaring dawn
Lies the stiff, porcelain doll
Green and red, the pawns of the lawn
Our World-Collective Greenwich Atoll

This nomad collective
A messiah of glass
Aren’t they so selective?
Aren’t the brass so crass?

The caveat of the cavalier:
Gold is so brittle
The loudest ears of golden leers
And how they change so little

The nomad rejective
A Pariah of sand
Aren’t they so reflective
Of once-golden land?

False on flying feet
Tall: the new-world sleet
Call down the mighty fleet
Callous men of greater feats
Dec 2018 · 1.9k
Seasonal Chronicles
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
Before the thaw, my feet will be rooted
Into this nation’s primordial freeze
My muscles and bones will be acquainted with malaise
The sun’s altruism will be refuted

Before the thaw, I will struggle to find consciousness
The frost will leak through the bedroom window
And don the facade of a blanket
The door will prove to be bottomless

Possibilities will seem unachievable
The brain will itch for what it can not have
Buses will limp through congestion
And the blizzards may feast on the feeble

You may want to write of your misery
But your automation will halt in cataclysm
Because someone held a door open
For the gust that billows bitterly

Gastric emissions will become tangible
As smouldering wastes contrast against the sky with rancour
The wispy whites, marginalized into *****
And the world remains infallible

I will lack the tools of incision
To enact my life’s revisions
I will weep for my unguided millions
While I saunter into oblivion

After the thaw, I will smile
My expatriate soul will run in the whimsical wind
Of the morning dayspring that will march unto me
I will stand over a kingdom of honey-filled tiles

After the thaw, the arks will converge
Into the straits of the Bermudian Sea and the
Elusive Caspian Forest, where I will learn to love again
While bidding farewell to winter’s dirge

In the waking world, I will ***** a limestone castle
Where entropy will rule and the mind’s domain
Is left susceptible to perennial reverence
The sea, coloured true, nesting a fairgrounds vessel

In this Great Revision, gargantuan skyways
Will show the world how exiguous we are
That we must not wait for exodus to come
Should we fear to waste away
Into icebergs
Dec 2018 · 1.1k
Seek The Wailing Moon
Derrek Estrella Dec 2018
Rattle on
And do so backwards
In the insular hole
Strangle lo’
To and fro, in herds
Build for me a pole

Wail along
And do so sweetly
In my crooked glyphs
Sail strong
To lands discreetly
A flintlock at your hip

Walk across
And do so sideways
In a tiled oasis
Count the cost,
To hands that play
Deal out epistasis

Swim away
And do so upwards
In a veiled monsoon
Drown the day
In Carinae
Seek its vagrant moon
Nov 2018 · 1.4k
At The Feet Of The Head
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
"Democracy is the lesser of all evils."
Says the Liberal.
The Libertarian.
The Corinthian.
The Macedonian.
The Farrier.
The Squire.
The Stoic.
The Astronomer.
The Ornithologist.
The Eschatologist.
The Augur.
The Retiarius.
The Hoplite.
The Centurion.
The Governor.
The General.
The Senator.
The Orator.
The Assassin.
The Emperor.
The Ferryman.
Nov 2018 · 1.2k
New Contact, 52nd St.
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
Translucent, red traffic light
Belongs so comfortably
No one made a fuss over its colour
Just an instinct for the shade
The perfect pigment
No hustle, no alarm
Being the man who ponders this
Am I not allowed the breeze or the brevity?
Are we blessed to fidget the cigarette?
Cursed to be tense
I imagine a mellow, white man
Prancing on a set of traffic lights
Naturally pristine and silky
He plays in an explorative band
Rock and roll on scalpels
So smooth, that breathing
Not a single itch
I’m going to achieve such a feat
One day
I’ll be a queen *****
Nov 2018 · 320
Consolation Day
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
Who knows where I’ll be headed
And who I’ll be after that
To my sole credit
I laid a man down on the tracks

I’m tired in my stare
Strides hurt a great deal
Nobody’s hired to care
Pride can’t afford a meal

If Consolation Day comes
I won’t know my way home
My tonsils are flayed
My lungs are made of stone
I’ll crow
Nov 2018 · 115
Remainders of Love's Table
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
My thoughts have become excruciatingly apparent, achingly transparent. The soil-scanned pores are presented in all their vainglory. To my eyes, I am left stifled and cruel, undeserving of the fruits of my godless labour.

Don’t have a laugh now, ******. This is no entry of any sort, nor am I looking for divine affirmation in the ink that I lay down. My umbilical cord to the heavens is severe  and grotesque, buried under the soot of history’s accords (abandoned scripts, all they are).

This room is cold but I am not, you see? I used to be the stoic; the unabashed abuser of generosity. My shoulder used to hold seven reigns by its lonesome. I should do so well to be fragile, much like I am now. Is it not easier to love this way? Parsimonious as my kindness may be, is it not so pure at the moment? I believe I love, greater than I ever have before.

I should. I shall not sacrifice the gilded mechanisms inside my head for love, no. Perhaps I will love, though superficially. However facetious my care is, is that not what love is portrayed to be? A lover is soon made a loser, for their misfortune or complacence. Stay my hand, dear. Do not let me morph into that lover for you. We do not deserve such a prognosis, not even the thought of one.
Nov 2018 · 307
Redacted Reverie
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
The sky shifted out of excitement, malforming into the menacing child of blue and indigo. It inspired the apex of one’s thoughts, yet promised stoic impotence; a blasé response. Besides a burning Nissan, I was perplexed. Something taught me that I should be emoting, and the glove should be reading into my vortex of encumbrance. If no one acknowledges that I must be freed, shall I retain the visage of a captive? I am but a stifled, trembling man.
Nov 2018 · 183
Dearest, Usurped
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
What can I be now?
What must I be?
I have lost you, dearest
Though you’ve been gone for a while
What I shall be
To the world’s sea
I will be so for you
Dearest

I will become a figure
Lest I perish
For I am sure you were equally dire
Who else could teach me the dance of a lyre?
And the hymn of a quire?
A debilitating devotion
I have no obligations to myself
Not anymore

Only my labours of love
Will be shown to the world
All because of you, my love
You have given me the reigns
Which I crafted by my lonesome
Then, the nations will extend
To the far reaches of a forlorn nebula
And I will meet you there, soon
Nov 2018 · 88
Transparent Adjustments
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
Wish I had glowing skin
Wish I had eyes-a-blue
Wish to be an Aryan
Do you want to love me too?
You

Wish I had growing pains
Wish I had sulfur gowns
Wish I could feel the same
As others all around
Me
Nov 2018 · 220
Find Me in the Cinema
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
When I’m late for the party
Will my friends realize
That I don’t need anybody
To gaze at me in the eye

I’m alone in this chair
I’m entranced by my hand
I wear a stop motion stare
Watching Murmillos dance

I watch a billowed Boeing
Waiting for its head to yaw
I hear my matter flowing
But it’s yet to reach my maw

I’m alone in this world
My convulsions hold my tail
I’m still searching for a girl
Should I burn in the hail

Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
If you miss me
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
If you miss me

When I’m lost in my folly
Will my friends peel off my eyes?
Will they find my reels of squally
Bite and tear at my own guise?

I’m alone in this seat
I am called without a smile
I will fold under the heat
Of the night’s airless mile

Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Could you kiss me?
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Find me in the cinema
Could you miss me?
Nov 2018 · 166
The Yolken Brain
Derrek Estrella Nov 2018
The mind is- oh, stop. Stop!
My mind is swirling,
Leaking profusely.

Ah. Ah.

Help the deranged.
And the lost.
Amen.

I cannot see my ears.
I cannot see my ears!
Oh, weary wing.
It hurts.
A great deal.

Contrived? This is not contrived.
I am a facade.
Canvas..... canvas. Where?
Where did my brush lie in the moment that has
Escaped me?

I wish: that seeking help,
That, it could be so much easier.
Help with a craned hand.
I spit at myself, for how little I've provided!
To anyone, yes
No one at all.

I. I don't belong! Hey! Heed! I! Don't belong! Here! Anymore!
Oct 2018 · 123
Reciprocance
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Breathe again
We want you to breathe again
Acquiesce into our please for life
Your life

Never regress
Into the sick and standard mind
Breathe again
We want you to see again

Breathe again
Spark your mind on dopamine sticks
Just look and taste the eye
And rest to find the sky

Do not be sure
Of the temporal gust of life
Touch your brow
And withdraw from your grievances

Cry again
Learn to be human for a time
Love again
We just want you to function

Lead our way
Ignore your birthing days
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
As I fly amongst all monsters and men
With the former being the common kind
I find my sanctum inside an oak tree
Quite tall to see a world, not too blind

In nations across, a nation below
Wars are waged, men are hung
As sinful a woman would wait and sow
For their husband in pieces, because I have sung

"What song do you speak?" asks the eager fool
Fair and serene, as my song's painted grey
Not black, nor white, nor prejudiced tool
I trickle innocence, fall asleep towards May

I don't move as leaves fall, dead bark will suffice
As a cold, bitter home, though not quite as your hearts
That would feel content when it treats one as mice
For now they are small, and thus chewed apart

For their colour? Their kin? Their wellness? Their faith?
I've flown above beauty in some diverse place
For naivety or luck, I cannot quite fathom
Why this nation of pastures should spit on one race

A race, so beautiful but starving
For food and water, in a time not so kind
But the poor in the pockets are so rich in the heart
To beg for acceptance, but justice is blind

Blind justice, you say, is blind to colour
Blind justice, I say, is blind to a heart
Of a land of the "free", of one democracy
But in which fair acceptance will indeed, never start

I flew in a town of monsters and men
I bother only with the former kind
The good men were hung, under soil or cement
My innocence, shot by metal led blind


Nature doesn't change, pastures stay green
Nature doesn't change, humans stay green

Fly, youth, Fly
Cry, innocence, Cry
Die, bird, Die
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
Stay Safe for Me
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Stay safe for me
Stay sound for me
Stay warm for me
Stay rested for me

I couldn’t stand to see your tears
I could hide you away from fear
I couldn’t watch you saunter alone
I could walk you home

I know I am too eager
I know my smile is meagre
I know I can do better, when due
I know that I love you

Stay safe for me
Stay grounded for me
Stay home for me
Stay happy for me

This isn’t me
This is not life, flee
We are not meant to be
Not happily

Stay safe for me
Stay bound for me
Stay swarmed for me
Stay vested for me

Stay for me, won’t you?
You won’t, will you?
It is not healthy
Simply

You must yield
I am not your shield
Stay in your bed
I have lost my head

I will continue to long
For you
Believe me, you do not belong
To me

But I love you
I do
And I couldn’t stand
To see your tears

Stay safe for me
Stay safe for me
Stray from me
Stay away from me

But first and foremost,
Be safe
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
The sun and its veil drags along the humdrum path, like an old dog’s broken tooth, lodging itself into a decrepit chair. Right up its ****; where it belongs and longs to be loved. It suffocates, coagulates, and discombobulates the bowery citizens within the pearl atolls. By the rims of the gates, Moses receives ******* while a sojourning sheik blasts the radio. Meanwhile, the teats of Atlas are duly pounded as the mortals are aroused and grounded. Never beholden to ecumenist beauty, life lives on, defying questions. It festoons its lexicon of self-defeat and the synonyms that we waste sun on; A halcyon is redacted before long. I am left at the teeth of a sycophant and a broad-shouldered man who I adore in dangerous elan. Epigrams foist themselves upon the masts, the masts that sail us o’er the soot of the ocean, and land us flippantly onto the crystalline concentration line which is a-gaping wide.
The orifice of a primordial awaits us.
Oct 2018 · 871
Peace Belongs To You
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Peace is ready for you, if you want it

Peace belongs to you, if you want it
Peace will carry you, if you want it
Peace will reign for you, if you want it
Peace will give to you, if you want it
Peace is ready for you, if you want it

Peace belongs to her, if she wants it
Peace will embrace her, if she wants it
Peace will protect her, if she wants it
Peace will love her, if she wants it
Peace is ready for her, if she wants it

Peace belongs to him, if he wants it
Peace will stand for him, if he wants it
Peace will dance for him, if he wants it
Peace will reach for him, if he wants it
Peace is ready for him, if he wants it

Peace belongs to us, if we want it
Peace will stay for us, if we want it
Peace will speak for us, if we want it
Peace will fight for us, if we want it
Peace is ready for us, if we want it
Oct 2018 · 159
Lafarr, What Can You Say?
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
The bus yawns like an ambulance
Running on the gleaming road's cadence
A boy who fed himself with rain
Shut his eyes and rested on a pane

The jesters and dukes run their mouths
They laugh at their surnames in cloaks
All of these keeners would stay their hand
When ****** into a maskless dance
Yes, that's the joke

"Surely it's nice in the court for some moments"
He says,
"How can one be silent when they can afford to undress?"

Lafarr, what can you say?
Can we fit in a throne in different ways?
Lafarr, what can you say?
Beauty moans before it fades

This gleaning boy yawns like a braggart
And gives his footed stick a stagger
The sail-headed mind stings
For an ongoing ring

Her lambasting mouth has fell old
Her heart in ten paper-folds
The movement is new
But time accrues
Until every dance is a joke

“Surely, propriety’s paid by the cents”
She moans
“Who can be trusted to keep this world alone?”

Lafarr, what can you say?
Can we see the throne on different days?
Lafarr, what can you say?
Beauty moans before it fades
Oct 2018 · 821
Iron and Purpose (88 mm)
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
In the wake of innocence, I am left gaping with stupor at the threshold of pragmatism. I am fascinated by a hallway rather than its occupants. Its geometry tells me different facets of flying stories, while my human congeners remain hollow.
I am planning out my period of visibility and retaining prudence with my pondering of obsolescence. The inflection of my youth is becoming more contrived and unsatisfactory. I am continually outracing it.
I wish to fight for the Fatherland. Death is not my loss, that is becoming excruciatingly clear. I dream of marching in the air of sociopathic freedom. My brain longs for an ashen visage and valiant, black boots.
       Oh, I long for iron and purpose. I crave the sight of a united race, an insurmountable stature. I want to touch Caesar. Only the dead sympathize with me, for they know what it is like to be cruel and subsequently, obsolete.
       I do not want to ****. I want to fight and be a tool. An instillation of might. I want to be within a collective heel.
Oct 2018 · 229
The Day Remains
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
No one can understand why I emote for everyday hues. I am moved by the whims of life, sick as hell, thanks to this lumbering chassis. The day stays its unadorned hand, doesn’t it? It just waves, pretending to belong to life. How can I build my life around bowling pins that have never and will never learn to look down?
Oct 2018 · 210
Racketeer Boardwalk
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Here comes Jacques
On the pavement
Screaming at the sediment
Of conditional skin
People calling out, “a hack!”

When’s the next race
And when’s the next attack?
Who’ll be under the tracks?
Soul’s got no control
No more, ‘till the look is late

They seem catatonic
Stuck in the soul of fate
It is a gene state
Someone ought to stalk the hawk
His language is sardonic

See through the bottleneck?
Reliance on sonics
To repress every chronic
Malfunction of compunction
Here’s the future, bloodlet

We may not see what we deserve
Someone birthed us to forget
The role of a conscious pet
What’s within the ship’s fins?
The well-fed wield a coat of fur

Scream into the water well
It might throw something up to sell
Oct 2018 · 466
Standing For A Chair
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
It’s all very good
To not be happening
To be pedestrian
In the eye of the skin

What are you giving
To the fee of propriety?
Or maybe you’re taking
No loans for your own belief

You’re not looking
If you’re already there
Standing crooked
On decadent hardware

Tapeworms and toe shoes
Comments on twitches
Raking a living
On dollar-long pitches

Sustainable notebooks
Planning uncertainty
A humble room
For an affirmed reality

You’re not looking
If you’re already there
Standing crooked
Begging for a chair

Your mind is pretty
As a cog of the city
It may lark starkly
In a house that ages a-
-Loans to live up-
-Tunics promise the sky-
Domain disappoints you

Periodic shifts,
Assured to swallow you in splendour
Nothing engineered
Is best left well-explained

Standing for a chair
                         Standing for a chair
                                                  Standing for a chair
                                                           ­                 Standing for a chair
    Standing for a chair
                              Standing for a chair
                                                       Standing for a chair
                                                           ­                     Standing for a chair
         Standing for a chair
                                  Standing for a chair
                                                           Standing for a chair
                                                           ­                       Standing for a chair
Oct 2018 · 136
I Dread This Soil
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Oh, dread dread dread Drella dread
All I do is dread
This climate’s ******
Dread dread dread
I must only dread
And dread only for the human

My ancestors can scream
They, being right in doing so
Are stroked and adored
Everybody dreads in shades of blue
What can I be if I dread too?
The idea is sore, oh so sore

Dread dread dread
This era dreads and is dreaded
I see life, I don’t taste it
Dread dread dread
All we may do is dread
Nothing to be said

But words of the fed
The led
The wed
The dead
Dread
Oct 2018 · 302
Dream #13
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Beings with trunks for ears, duct tape for eyes, and nozzles for digits…… Oh, what horror is this? I do not dream of the world anymore, just the rotten carcass of my amygdala. Suchasmall space to wade through…. so cold, yes? Coconuts falling down pants, with pinstriped sections separated by a ragged burlap fur. Googly eyes, slick and shiny, privy in decadence. A skinned raccoon goes soulless in splendour as it receives ******* from a malnourished Mickey Mouse. Corkscrews enter the ears.
Oct 2018 · 863
Centrifugal Farce
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
“Oh hell yea, they’re suffering! They’re believing that they can go home, but aren’t getting any closer to the Entropoid Valley which leads to Kubla Khan, by whom they were cremated and born. Instead, they’re here, whiling away their days for boys who are bringing the death of days.”
“Hold your thoughts, lad!” Yells the Cameraman of the Head.
“I’m here, I’m in your head ImhereImhereImThere. You’ve no right to chastise the boys who have not kissed the horror. They’ve seen it, yes. But they haven’t captured it, you see. I am the camera, in my ribs are the film reels, the oscilloscope in my uvula, the trigger rested in my right earlobe. I tell you, there is strength in their brutality, I can bring you the tribal taste.”
“Man, we was just talking about centrifugal farce.”
“Centripetal.”
“No, was it?”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Hey! I believe-“
“Can’t be”
“Shan’t be”
“Oh, whatever. Those bullets find their way to the ***** anyhow.”
“Anywho.”
“Hey, grab your Coca Cola, Clean. We’re ‘bout to miss the show. The cameraguy could record it if he wants.”
Oct 2018 · 1.6k
Centripetal Farce
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Sewer rats bottleneck into a Carnival of Depravity. Due to the bizarre circumstance of their fingers, they allow their limbs to become limp. As Valkyries, they are aware of the juxtaposition of their clown pantaloons and their hobnailed mudboots. In this benefit carnival, a ferris wheel runs amok. Within it, GI’s holler their way through the vermillion skyway, zippoing the dented carapace with their M16s. In a true practice of youthful bliss, the 5.56 returns to the cosmos. However, the bullets, streaming out and homewards, are soon constrained to the circular path of the wheel itself.
“Centripetal farce!” goes Lance.
“Hey what, man?” whimpers Mr. Clean.
“Well, y’see: centripetal fOrce makes an overwhelming amount of sense. So much so, that when superimposed on the Carnival Cavalcade™, it must make no sense, for it’d shake us all up something mad.”
“So, the bullets aren’t real?”
“Oh, they’re plenty real. Just touch it, it’d melt you, starting with the neurons, cat. Other than little blue reality though, it’s out there. Its dancers are not chained to any concrete block of nature.”
“Oh, they’re sufferin’?”
Oct 2018 · 867
Unbound Projectile
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
I lose something in this home
I smile, you know? I smile with humans
No, that’s not it
I’m true when I’m hating my creations
And what is becoming of me

Oh, pity me bubbly
I’ll weep all the same
But it’s lousy
My concerns are lousy
Just a boy, a tinkerer
A boy
I’m lousy, man
Not pretty
Pretty lousy

Just hate myself. Purely. Sanctimoniously
Doctors were onto something
A grin introduces myopia
Lousy
Lousy concerns
I’m blessed; better by a margin, right?
I ought to hate meself with more pep in the step
And better teeth
God, I wish I didn’t look like this
How could you build me like this?

It’s funny, you know. I write about the cerebral complexities, those magnified things. I notice the film grains in my eye, but hey, I’m still a ***** to loneliness.
Man, you ought to be lonely!

The only difference between now and then is, that now I blame a God that I don’t believe in. I blame it and that for my misfortunes, the fact that luck is merely a word to me.

God, I want to die
Can you hear me? I seek it, I reek of it
I want to die
I’ve mulled over it with great wit and dexterity
I want to die
Stoicism
I want to die
It’s healthy; symbiotic
I want to die
So lonely
Wanna die
I just want to reach the zenith of the mind’s pataphysical eye, before
Before I die
Haven’t you heard?
I want to die
Cries for help are immature
I am not a child
I want to die
Oi, someone help, with this pulley! 
I want to die
John’s my only friend
At one point, he was quite alright with dying
He’s been gone for a while
And I want to die
Oct 2018 · 85
Pond of Devotees
Derrek Estrella Oct 2018
Govern me, Lily
Covet me slowly
I have nothing to uphold
Just my own soles

It’s better to never believe
In improvidence
I sit on the cusp of eternity
And lost parlance
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