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Nov 8 · 43
Irish Iris
Kevin Seiler Nov 8
I remember the look in our eyes.
The way they gleamed when we saw one another.
The way a child sees the open world.
Full of wonder and endearment.

I remember the way our stares held.
We would drink each other in with every stolen glance.
Beaming when our looks were caught adrift.

I remember the way those eyes shed rivers of tears and I assured you that we would see our way through.

I remember when I found myself shaking on the bathroom floor with the bottle in my hands.
The softness that those auburn irises showed me; compassion instead of judgement.

I remember when those same eyes found themselves yearning for new scenery.
To be caught glancing at another.
To be shown a new light, to see again for the first time.

I remember when you stopped looking at me.
My body begged to feel even just a glance. Even one full of contempt would have been better than never being seen again.
Even a the slightest sliver of sunshine would have been better than the ceaseless darkness you’ve left me in.

So now I wander this world alone. A blinded fool, reaching out for you.
Oct 1 · 92
Oh, Mother
Kevin Seiler Oct 1
Oh, mother, my bones ache and my muscles tire
My vessel is young; yet fleeting and failing
My soul has long since aged and been lost to the years
I am ready to sleep and find peace in the night
With every step my knees buckle under the weight of this journey

Oh, mother, your son is begging for your blessing
Let me wander no longer through this perilous realm
Allow me to fall into memory, to fade with the wind

Oh, mother, you brought this body into this world, with your tender love and care
But it is in this body that my despairing soul is ensnared

Oh, mother, give me your permission to concede from this quest
I beg of you, dear mother, let me lay down to rest
Sep 9 · 111
Itchy
Kevin Seiler Sep 9
I wish I could pick at my scabs; without them ******* BLEEDING everywhere.
Sep 9 · 89
Angry Orchid
Kevin Seiler Sep 9
There’s a flower that lives in a room of my house.

At day it stands tall, taking in all the light. But its pedals shrivel up and its vines lash outward, in the darkness of night.

At dawn I’m awaken, by its heavenly perfume. At sunset its thorns whisper tales of my doom.

I live in fear of its poison, but I can’t resist her sweet smell.
This flower and I are prisoners in our own little hell.

Oh flower of mine, which of us will go first? Will your poison stop my heart; or will I leave you withered and dying of thirst?

I’m not sure how we got here, oh flower of mine. But I know that for some reason our fates are entwined.

It’s been so many years now and your last petal has fallen. Only vines are left now, and the darkness is calling.

With a hatchet and torch, I open your door, one final time. As only one of us can live here, oh flower of mine.
Sep 4 · 94
Good Mo(u)rning
Kevin Seiler Sep 4
Lying on clouds
The morning sun bathing my skin
I smell you all around
I feel your soft skin up against mine
I brush my hands against you
My body aches for you
I pull you in closer
You press that magnificent *** against me
I groan low, and nuzzle your neck
I kiss your cheek and gently say “good morning beautiful” as my hand moves up your thigh.

I awake to the sound of my own voice.

Instead of clouds I’m laying on a thin slab of foam that makes up this futon.
The sun is beating down on me, leaving no shadow for my shame to hide.
The room smells like a full ashtray and stale beer.
I reach over for you but I only find an endless sea of empty space.
I roll onto my back, my body aches and my joints crack.
I extend my calloused, unwashed hand out to a half empty glass of bourbon.
Maybe this will help me get back to that dream of you.

But I can chase this ***** as long as I want, I’ll never catch up to you.

And you’re never coming back.
Sep 1 · 67
Duality
Kevin Seiler Sep 1
“I can’t wait to never see you again.”

I thought, before I noticed your bed was empty and your car gone.

Wondering where you’d gone this time, and wishing you’d come home.

So I could beg you to leave.
Aug 19 · 91
Lover / Loser
Kevin Seiler Aug 19
You’ve been gone all weekend, probably with your new man.
As to why I’m sitting here waiting, I’ll never understand.

I cleaned the house.
Scrubbed the toilets.
I even made you dinner.
And you couldn’t care less.

How good was it, that you’re still not home this late on a Sunday?
I just want you to notice.
I just want to  be seen, like “check out the porcelain, that’s quite a sheen!”

I want to go back to my old friends, a tall bottle and my knife.
I want to feel the burning of the liquor, and the cold of the steel.
I want to make manifest the pain you cause me, so I can feel something real.

Less than a six pack and surely I’d be ready for the noose.
The tree out back should be sturdy enough.
My limbs would lie steady, before the tree’s would come loose.

Will you let my loved ones have my things?
Would you come to my funeral?
Would you spit out my name in front of your new lovers door; and forget my existence, now and evermore?

Teach me how to care less. How to be cunning, conniving and cold.  
So I can take this knife to my throat, without seeing my mother’s face.
Teach me how to care less.
So I can bleed out on our floors, like a worthless disgrace.
I ******* hate you.
Aug 19 · 150
Sunday Blues
Kevin Seiler Aug 19
I don’t know if I’m that good at convincing my loved ones that I’m ok.
Or if they simply don’t care as much as they say they do.
Kevin Seiler Aug 18
If I let it all go, and find myself in hell.
Just know that I’ll be waiting.

When years have passed and you’ve forgotten my name.
When you’ve moved on to new lovers and abandoned them; all the same.

When you’re tired and lonely and old and dying.
When your callous, poisoned heart finally gives out.

I will claw my way through the wastes.
Past tormented souls and demons too, nothing will stop me hunting for you.

And as you stand at the edge, waiting for the boatman.
I will reach up from the depths, and drown you in the river styx.

I ******* hate you.
Nov 2023 · 160
Night Diving
Kevin Seiler Nov 2023
Walking down the edge of a moonlit beach
I feel the cool sands shifting beneath my feet

Father once warned me to stay clear of the sea
But I’m already drowning, what difference is it to me?

The breeze runs through my hair.
I hear the crashing of waves, and smell salt in the air.

I walk slowly to the waters edge, ankle deep in the tide.
The waters wash against my skin and send chills down my spine

It’s but gentle reminder, of what is to come - and my only escape, from the things that I’ve done.

I’m up to my neck now, and there’s no turning back
The moonlight fades out and my vision goes black

I feel a sigh of relief as I release my last breath
And let the seas take me, into the darkest of depths.
Dec 2017 · 288
Cinders Of A Lost Love
Kevin Seiler Dec 2017
I would douse every memory of you in gasoline.

I would torch every photo, every tangible item that reminds me of you.

I would curse your name, choking as my lungs filled with acrid smoke.

I would burn this place to the ground.

I would die amongst the flames along with our love. Just to haunt the ashes of what once was.

I would do this.....if I thought it would mean a ******* thing to you.
Oct 2016 · 1.8k
5 year old boy
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
Look at you, growing so fast.
I would not actually know though.
Because our time together only one day, did it last.

I know you're happy, with your mom, and your dad.
I hope that you get everything you wish for.
They were really great people so I'm sure it can't be bad.

One day, if you find me, I'll explain to you why.
Why you were given away, the day you were born.
Now, 5 years later, I sit on my tailgate and cry.
I think about all the days since, that have passed me by.
But I know it's for the better, for you and for I.
Happy Birthday Son, I'll always love you.
Oct 2016 · 619
Mania
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
Heart pounding
Hands shaking
Blood boiling
Eyes bloodshot
Adrenaline rush

The greatest high.
Was going to crash, in glorious fashion

Did I know then?
That I was headed for a dead end.
A piece from the future to myself in this moment
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
The coffee is strong this morning
The sun   shines through the blinds, blinding
They're both telling me to get up and do something today
But I can't work, so I'm just staring at a sun-glared screen
Wishing I had someone to share the morning with
Maybe they wouldn't mind the bold coffee
Maybe they could stand in front of the blinds
BLOCK THAT ******* SUN
**Thanks
Oct 2016 · 1.5k
Cheaters gambit
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
One hundred and thirteen days since my last sip.
And it only took me one day to finally jump ship.
No matter how long I'm sober, nor how much I drink.
Will ever allow me the clarity to see the way that you think.
So here's to relapse, and the misery inbound.
Because girl I'll never stop you from runnin' around.
Sep 2016 · 623
Ninety-two Days
Kevin Seiler Sep 2016
Ninety-two days, since my last drink.
The first week I was stranded.
Lost in a desert, parched.

The coldest, freshest water was dust in my mouth.
I couldn't quench my thirst.
Nothing brought that refreshing sensation;
That overwhelming elation that my first beer had each day.

Whenever I took my first sip, I felt enlightened.
My soul beemed with joy.
Nothing else mattered after that first sip.
All the word was irrelevant compared to me and my drink.

And that was the problem.
It was all irrelevant.
Beer was my partner.
Scotch was my lover.
Brandy, my best friend.

And I, was an alcoholic.
I AM, an acoholic.
Ninety-two days into recovery.
Ninety-two days into the rest of my life.
Kevin Seiler May 2016
I found a new place to be.
I thought if I did, my demons would stop chasing me.
But I'm still the same delusional drunk that I always was.
And after ten beers, I know that it's because,
Those demons weren't following me close behind.
They were right here in my twisted mind.
You can't escape fate
Apr 2016 · 506
Her
Kevin Seiler Apr 2016
Her
With tears in your eyes, you begged me to stay.
I said "I love you girl, but no ******* way."
For months and months, I've been hoping you'd see.
That the way that you are is just killing me.
It might **** me to leave you, I might **** myself.
But even taking my life is better than being left on  your shelf.
I don't know who I am without you. What is home without you
Mar 2016 · 734
Sunday Sun
Kevin Seiler Mar 2016
That old warm Sunday Sun
Peers through the window
Soft light casts a shadow across the room
Time feels slow
Lost
Memories dance across the mind
Time moves inevitably onward
Sunrise, sunset
Year by year
We are helpless in its quest
To continue slipping out of our hands
The only thing we hold onto
Are moments
Such as watching the light
Peer through the window
From a warm Sunday Sun
Dec 2015 · 861
Thirty Rack And A Bottle
Kevin Seiler Dec 2015
Expensive scotch and cheap beer.
My two best friends are here.
"It's a hobby", I tell people, pouring another drink.
A connoisseur of alcoholism,
I don't give a **** what they think.
Kevin Seiler Oct 2015
I'm going to live forever
Or at least die trying
#Short #tenwords #10w
Kevin Seiler Sep 2015
I write with cheap pens that dry out on the page.
Hair disheveled, I'm drunk, my fist trembles with rage.
Without skill, and poor grammar, you'd ask why I write.
But what else can I do when I'm writhing in hell every night.
Jul 2015 · 1.6k
Dripping In Gold (10w)
Kevin Seiler Jul 2015
I walked into the room

*******.......on the coats

*********
For Wustin Jampler
Jun 2015 · 1.1k
The Daily Poem (10w)
Kevin Seiler Jun 2015
Reminiscent of popular television
all about ratings
not good writing.
May 2015 · 867
Title (Optional)
Kevin Seiler May 2015
Poetry* does not need context to entice a reader.
Poetry requires no dialogue to tell a story.
Poetry is written for all, and no one.
Poetry can put madness on display without being frightening.
Poetry is only a thought, until it is written.
Then it is immortalized.
Then it is art.

Constructive and beautiful.
Devastating and worthless.
May 2015 · 15.7k
Lazy Sunday (10w)
Kevin Seiler May 2015
Sunday*
when time is irrelevant.
No priorities
only enjoyment remains.
May 2015 · 633
Untitled (10w)
Kevin Seiler May 2015
Humanity found
as I severed arteries
spilling golden blood.
May 2015 · 1.3k
157,000 miles (10w)
Kevin Seiler May 2015
My car's engine has died
Part of me did too
My first car finally crapped out. So many good memories. Good bye drunk honda. It's been one hell of a ride.
May 2015 · 1.1k
Mania
Kevin Seiler May 2015
My writing is the calamity of my soul.
Hoping that once it hits paper my shattered consciousness will be whole.
Raging and boiling it crashes with strokes of ink.
Mind writhing and seizing, the words pour out before I can think.
May 2015 · 1.3k
Searing Blood (10w)
Kevin Seiler May 2015
Burn* my words on paper.
Turn my thoughts to ash.
May 2015 · 910
FRI(END)
Kevin Seiler May 2015
Fate. That our paths have seperated.

Rage. Misguided anger hides your insecurities and cowardice.

Intentions. Were always for the best, but we knew this day would come.

Empathy. You lack. Those who help guide you most come second to your arrogance and pride.

Never. Again will I lend my hand.

Dead. You'd might as well be.
Don't spend time on any relationship where the other person doesn't give a ****. Its better to be alone than have faulty relationships. Friend, lover, whatever. It's not worth your time. Find someone who is.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Untitled
Kevin Seiler Apr 2015
They say that evil prevails
when good men fail to act.

What they should say is
**Evil prevails
Apr 2015 · 1.6k
Dive Bar
Kevin Seiler Apr 2015
Walk into the tavern.
I order a shot and a beer.
Dimly lit bar but my eyes can see clear.
Drinking my whiskey and ale.
I'm biding my time.
Because intoxication for me is an equation for crime.
My plans for tonight don't include going away.
But I can't call them plans, I do this every day.
I sit back and get loose, avoid the gazes of strangers.

It's quarter to midnight and I'm nearly **** drunk.
I wonder if I'll ever get out of this funk.
Although I don't really want to, I love living like this.
Sitting at the dive bar in my half drunken bliss.
There's something serene about not being noticed. About sitting down, getting drunk,  and writing bad poetry. And not giving a **** about anyone else around.
Apr 2015 · 2.2k
Vengeance
Kevin Seiler Apr 2015
Walking down the alleyways I follow you home.
Smoking a cigarette, the ember burning as fierce as my intentions.
Smooth smoke, clearing my head.
If it weren't for the clarity you'd already be dead.

A predator turned prey, you should have never gone astray.
Because I'm in the business of killing and today is your day.

Things get exciting, my heart starts to race.
Closing the gap between us, increasing my pace.
I pull the knife from my coat.
Grab your greasy hair in my fist and I swiftly slit your throat.
A river of blood sprays across the street.
Your life now taken, my vengeance is complete.
Apr 2015 · 595
Praise The Sun
Kevin Seiler Apr 2015
Dust the cobwebs off my eyes.
Winter is over, take off this hibernation disguise.
Step into the sun and feel rejuvinated.
Months of frost and dark thoughts have left me feeling jaded.
Breathe in the warm air and feel the life resonate within.
I feel alive and cleansed from the burdens of sin.
Stretch out my arms and reach up to the sky.
I fell to my knees and started to cry.
Thinking of those moments that I wanted to fade away.
Filled with praise that I lived until this sunny day.
Kevin Seiler Apr 2015
Time has never been a friend to me.
The ticking clock is but a reminder of my anxiety.
Madness stricken as I race against times' sands.
Days spent chasing the passing hours no one truly understands.
That only after it passes do we discover of our time was well spent.
Wasting life away is the one act you can't repent.
Apr 2015 · 1.8k
Retribution
Kevin Seiler Apr 2015
She tells me how much she hates when I run off like this.
I can barely hear her words, mind racing, as my hand grips the blade in my fist.

She will never understand the language of vengeance and fury.
Leaping out of the window I hit the streets in a hurry.

A conscious man would gather his thoughts and plan first.
But I'm drifting in a dream of retribution and bloodthirst.
Sep 2014 · 1.1k
lost
Kevin Seiler Sep 2014
Walking amongst the fog
I see nothing but my fears
Lungs choking on the smog
I have been lost in here for years

Seeing only shimmers of light
I'm struggling to find the way
I become colder and darker every night
Searching for the words to say

Unsure if I can make it all alone
Harvester of my own life and the seeds of death I have sown

— The End —