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Sep 2016 · 1.3k
The Cosmos
Kyle Howard Sep 2016
You are my sun
You are my moon
You fill my world
With brightness, beauty and splendor
You give meaning to my existence
Proving that in these endless cosmos
I am not alone
May our heavenly bodies dance
Among the stars
Will you always stay close
And I will forever hold on
To: CC
Sep 2015 · 2.9k
the cloth we unfold tomorrow
Kyle Howard Sep 2015
Do I deceive myself
To believe, that
There is more to life
Than past, present and future?
That, intertwined
In the fabric of existence
There are threads
Of a deeper purpose,
Threads that bind
All we know, feel and see
These connections
Span time
To make us all we are
What is knitted in our past
Is woven in our present
To create the cloth
We unfold
Tomorrow
Aug 2015 · 997
fool for you
Kyle Howard Aug 2015
I know
Im just a fool
But honestly
I didn't mind
Being a fool
For you
Aug 2015 · 616
the true reason (2 for 1)
Kyle Howard Aug 2015
Feeling broken and hallow
Has me left
Questioning what I've done
For the reasons, we failed
I know I am to blame
At least in my own mind
Unable to forgive myself
I too, am
Aware you can not forgive me
You'll never love me again
Which is why
I'll never love myself
Now read it from the bottom up.
Jul 2015 · 1.6k
Shine
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
Watch me tarnish
watch my luster fade away
The degradation
of being used,
and misused
watch me rust away
watch me turn to dust
I'll just blow away
in which ever way
the wind will go
just a memory of something
that used to shine
Jul 2015 · 1.8k
Her Nightmare
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
As she lay there
On the couch
One million miles away
I wondered
As I watched her sleep
Does she still
Dream of me,
Or do I exist
Only in the agony
Of her reality?
Am I a nightmare
All too real?
Jul 2015 · 552
My Ghosts
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
Can I really live in a house of ghosts
the ghosts of my own past
their images are haunting
the pain and memories will last
they will not fade away now
for the beauty of what they once were
their true intentions, now obvious
but they are frighteningly obscure
they constantly float around me
disfigured by their demise
an evil reminder of their existence
their images burned into my eyes
can I bare to dwell amongst them
or must I leave it all behind
The truth is
these specters do not haunt my home
they haunt my weary mind
My memories haunt me still.
Jul 2015 · 3.2k
Imperfection
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
The days of innocence
for so long our only truth
we come into this world
so imperfect, yet, so innocent
though our innocence is fleeting
with every passing day
until
noting but imperfection
is left
becoming wholly
what we are
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
My drug
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
You were my drug
you were my sedative
and I'll admit it
I was an addict
I needed you
****, I craved you
I loved how you felt,
flowing through my veins
but you were dangerous
you were harmful
and I nearly overdosed
so as hard as it was
I put you down
and told myself
to walked away
I may still be an addict
I'll probably be one
my whole life
but I'm recovering
and I'm healing
and finally I'm clean
My drug, my love
Jul 2015 · 442
what is love worth?
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
We set off
hand in hand
our pockets empty
but our hearts were full
into the country
into the wild
into the great unknown
we found our place
and our pockets filled
but somewhere along the way
our hands slipped apart
and we drifted
we had lost each other
now I walk alone
out of the wild
out of the country
I return, a poor man
with pockets full
but with empty hands
and an empty heart
What is love worth?
Jul 2015 · 1.1k
torment and salvation
Kyle Howard Jul 2015
One mans' salvation
Is another mans' torment
The things we move to and from
And though it may seem chaotic
Everyone fleeing and racing,
their paths crisscrossing
It is simple, only purpose decides
In which direction
We turn and run
May 2015 · 543
Mr. O'Toole
Kyle Howard May 2015
Mr. O'Toole
The drunk 'ol fool
Who spent every night
At the pub on his stool
He never threw darts
Nor ever played pool
Just drank himself blind
And fell asleep in his drool

'Til one summers night
After many a pint
The bar keep said
"This just isn't right
You drink so **** much
You can't stand upright
I'll call you a cab
You're done for the night"

Then Mr. O'Toole
Arose from his stool
And spoke as he finished his drink
"You think me a fool
Well your dumb as a mule
Every glass that you've poured
Has been filled with O'Douls
I'll have you know sir
That you are the fool
For that's the only thing I drink!"
For anyone who doesn't know O'douls is a non alcoholic beer.
May 2015 · 1.1k
word of love
Kyle Howard May 2015
It would take an entire lifetime
to express my love for you
I recognize each and every feeling
but the words won't find their way
the frustration is
what I feel for you
is buried deep inside
I've been digging deep
within myself
trying to pull them
from where they hide
the feelings exist, but
the words I miss
they may never leave my mouth
but trust me dear
I'll never stop
trying to pull them out
though I promise you
I'll never quit
searching for the phrase
know all the while
my love for you
keeps growing
with every passing day
To my love
May 2015 · 473
living (10W)
Kyle Howard May 2015
'Tis not life, but living
That proves we are alive.
May 2015 · 395
R my friend
Kyle Howard May 2015
The words burned into memory
their weight I carry still
your happiness turned to anguish
your shimmer seemed to fade
the person that once stood there
saying "only you control your fate"
no longer stood before me
I knew not, who you were
instead you were a dark man
with lifeless heavy eyes
saying "I used to get high on life,
now I just get high"
A poem about a friend I lost to drug use. The quotes are from two  separate conversations we had. The second quote was from the last conversation we ever had.
May 2015 · 1.1k
I Am
Kyle Howard May 2015
I am the mistake
I am the dead man
I am the truly hated one
I am the anger
I am the sickness
I am the loaded gun
I am the person
I am the monster
I am the one to take the blame
I am the guilt
I am the ******
I am the one who is insane
I am the self hate
I am the reason
I am the thing you don't intend
I am the struggle
I am the regret
I am the cold and bitter end
I am who I am
May 2015 · 1.2k
Knowing
Kyle Howard May 2015
I know enough to know
I'll never know enough
But, knowing this
I should know, enough
is enough
I know, I know, enough already!
May 2015 · 556
Writing Right
Kyle Howard May 2015
You know,
       One time i thought i could write.
Not necessarily right wrongs, but just write.
Now if i could right wrongs then i would just go ahead and write something about that, because it would be the right thing to do... Right?
But, no, no, no i don't usually write about things like that, not right now anyways.
Right now i write about many other things and i think i can keep right on writing about them until i have nothing else to write about.
At which point I'll go right back to attempting to write about righting wrongs.
And I'll keep writing on and on about righting wrongs.
I'll just write, write, write, write, write, until... there's absolutely nothing left to write about concerning the topic of righting wrongs, but since righting wrongs is such a vast topic i believe i will have plenty to write about.
Which leads me right back to my main point. I think i can write, but am i even writing right?
I may write wrong, but oh well.
Kyle Howard May 2015
Back then when we were friends
I didn't worry about the ending
But then again,
It was foolish, to live life, without concern
So I came to learn

In the end, I was in awe
I wonder did it take much thought
I became the Ceasar to hold your daggers
Et tu (even you) must understand the treachery in your act
Bleeding out, I could not react

Now I still breath, but bare these scars
An awful memento of a mournful past
I press on, but never the same
Anger and hate my only friends
That's how this ends
A poem about a falling out I had earlier on in my life.
May 2015 · 261
This World
Kyle Howard May 2015
The beauty of this world
Is only equaled by its hideousness
The inescapable reality of your life
For which time is the only relief
And death the only conclusion
Pessimistic? Perhaps, but also true if you ask me.
May 2015 · 11.9k
wish
Kyle Howard May 2015
Wish me away if you want.
At least I've got you wishing.
May 2015 · 4.2k
Moving On
Kyle Howard May 2015
I plead to you
Let me rest in peace
For my lifeless husk
Is now deceased
The weight of pain
Was killing me
It won the war
It waged on me
So let me down
into the ground
And I promise not
To make a sound
For my withered heart
Beats no more
And my soul has left
The rivers shore
I'll float off now
Into the great beyond
Moving forward and
Moving on
May 2015 · 4.6k
Suicide Capital
Kyle Howard May 2015
Suicide capital
I want to come home
Let the gray wash over me
And the rain soak my bones
How I miss my home in the PNW.
Ive never found the rain or the gray sky's
Depressing.
May 2015 · 243
The Void
Kyle Howard May 2015
It doesn't matter how many bottles I empty
their contents will never fill the void
but, may their emptiness be a reminder
of the things they helped destroy.
Trying to drink away the pain.
May 2015 · 320
To An End
Kyle Howard May 2015
All things great must come to an end.
Unlike light, not everything's beautiful, when it bends.
Somethings break, although we don't intend
And it goes on and on until the bitter end.

I'm not lying, oh dear, no I'm not lying
The words that pass my lips
Eclipse, the very thought of that idea.
I'll cross my heart and hope to die
God knows I've done wrong, but I never lied.

Sure, lock me up and throw away the key
But I've been locked away inside for far much longer
Forgotten in the dark, as a punishment prevails
My minds left dock and in open waters it gently sails.

Spent a whole life dreaming of splendors brought beyond a grasp
Undoubtedly now I'm sinking for I cannot undo a rusted clasp.
As I feel the pressure rising and the coldness of these depths
My heart broken now realizes, what my mind already accepts.
May 2015 · 1.5k
I'm Done
Kyle Howard May 2015
I'm done,
I'm done pretending there's a cure
I'm ******
****** in the head
****** in the heart
You've finished  me
you tore me down
and I concede defeat
I have nothing left to give
no reason left to live
I hate to admit it, but
I'm done
Nothing fancy, just pure emotion.
May 2015 · 653
The Sea of Dust
Kyle Howard May 2015
Seas of Dust do swallow,
Nearly every living thing
And life and soul will leave you
As dusty currents begin to wring.

A snare disguised as paradise,
Facade of golden waves and pools.
Just beneath it's deceptive surface
This earthen sea abounds with ghouls.

Sail this sea with caution
And never stray the course.
For if you linger too long
You'll be unable to elude its' force.

This sea is parched and lifeless,
With its hot and choking sands.
No salvation found within its clutch
So you must heed its wicked demands.

Led to sea by sirens, or greed
Or a passage you foolishly trust.
You're now ensnared and declared
Property of the sea of Dust.
A complicated version of "the grass is always greener on the other side"
May 2015 · 469
The Question (haiku)
Kyle Howard May 2015
Do you remember,
the one that opened your eyes,
or have you lost sight?
Life is full of those eye opening moments. It's just important that we remember why we opened our eyes in the first place and those who may have helped.
May 2015 · 489
Given (part 1)
Kyle Howard May 2015
To you I have given:
my heart,
my soul,
my passion,
my dreams and my desires,
my deepest thoughts,
my open arms,
my honesty and compassion,
but frankly dear
it would seem
that you were just waiting
for me to give up.
When will satisfaction be achieved?
May 2015 · 16.8k
Devil (10W)
Kyle Howard May 2015
Don't dig too deep,
For the devil may dwell within.
Sometimes our thoughts are our own worst enemy.
May 2015 · 407
The Mount
Kyle Howard May 2015
Atop this mount
At the precipice of great change
It's strange
I look out
While I should be looking in
I'm in admiration of the view
There's nothing to hold onto
My body aching from the climb
I think of other times
Before the beauty, before the pain
My life was more simple and yet more plain
But alone here now I stand
Forever, I know, a changed man
May 2015 · 696
Alone (10W)
Kyle Howard May 2015
Alone is always a dark place,
No matter the light.
We're not solitary creatures.
May 2015 · 746
Mrs. O'Brady
Kyle Howard May 2015
There once was a lady
Named Mrs. O'Brady
Who hated the world
It seemed
The wicked 'ol witch
Was sort of a *****
And she spit and she cussed
And she screamed
The children all feared
Whenever she leered
That her gaze
Might turn them to stone
And the dogs even knew
Never to poo
In the small yard
In front of her home
'Til one chilly mourn
When snow did adorn
And the ground
Was a blanket of frost
Mrs. O'Brady
That rotten ol' lady
Slipped and her footing
She lost
She fell to the ground
With a thud of a sound
And knocked
Her ol' hag of a head
Then everyone stopped
And they let their jaws drop
For they knew
Mrs. O'Brady was dead
But when she arose
And brushed off her clothes
The drop of a pin
Could be heard
She said "I'm Mrs. O'Brady
The wicked ol' lady"
And she flipped the whole crowd
the bird
Gotta love the feisty old ones!
May 2015 · 387
Volumes (10W)
Kyle Howard May 2015
The volumes I speak of,
Do they not speak volumes?
May 2015 · 2.2k
I Cannot Say
Kyle Howard May 2015
It sits,
As it spins
In the veil of night
It thrives,
As it survives
On the liquefied viscera
Of its prey.

Its many eyes
watch
As its many joints
Crack
Its many arms and legs
Bend and move
As it crawls
And climbs
Silently

It speaks,
Inaudible words
Slide past its teeth
And the venom drips
As it breathes
With piecing fangs.

I dare not say its name.
What scares you? For me it's those **** spiders
May 2015 · 754
Hello, Goodbye
Kyle Howard May 2015
Hello.
Goodbye.
I come, I go
I try.
To be the you,
You though you knew,
But we both know
That it's a lie.
Oct 2014 · 2.8k
The Reaper
Kyle Howard Oct 2014
Death awaits
Beyond the gates,
Of the mortal walls that we call life.
The man that's there,
Gives an empty stare
And carries a heavy scythe.

An abstruse hand he lends
As he tends,
To be generous in this fateful gest.
The lost soul reaver,
The great bereaver
Who delivers your eternal rest.
Oct 2014 · 1.9k
Short
Kyle Howard Oct 2014
People like short poems,
But do poems like short people?
I'm short, so I find this to be a fair question.
Oct 2014 · 2.4k
Time (10W)
Kyle Howard Oct 2014
Time, the one great thing we all have in common.
No matter your way of life, region, thoughts or beliefs you must accept that time consumes all.
Oct 2014 · 1.4k
A Racing Mind
Kyle Howard Oct 2014
Sometimes my mind is going so fast
When will it quit, how long will it last

The clock on the wall shows times speeding up
And i try to keep calm and not give a ****

Add the rooms getting dim, the walls closing in
It's so hard to think as my minds getting loud
And i know it's just me even though there's a crowd

Do they know, can they tell, do the signs even show
I can feel my chest swell and i try to keep calm,
But with this noise in my head and sweat on my palms

The truth of it is I'm afraid i might die
And how crazy will i sound when i try to explain
Is it all in my head, is it all in my brain

Will I be able to bare the pain of ridicule
When my friends and family judge with open hands and smiles
And here I am pretending to be normal, but normal's not within miles.
Oct 2014 · 716
You Can't Breath Regrets
Kyle Howard Oct 2014
The tank, my surrounding, the enclosure, my life.

The water slowly seeping in, now overwhelming, my regrets.

The shallow breathing, my struggles.

The last bit of air, my hopes to overcome.

The final breath, my last attempt.

The burning in my chest, my hate and despair.

The thrashing struggle, my weakness shows.

The water filling my lungs as I inhale, my failure to succeed.

The still water and the silence, my regrets become all I am.
Sep 2014 · 7.8k
We are machines
Kyle Howard Sep 2014
Humans are robots,
Robots that act like humans,
Technologically.
Technology consumes too many great minds.

— The End —