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"trudging" poems
Great tragedy suffered, Impossible circumstances conquered, The warrior walks upon the field flanked path. The wanderer's armor tells a tale, Battle scarred and partially rent asunder, A face of stoicism that hides the haggardness underneath, Peeking out beneath the mask of a hardened soldier. The clouds clap ahead, preceded by flashes of light brightly illuminating the world, Accompanied shortly after by the rainfall. A trickle becomes a downpour, The battered individual trudging along as the road becomes a bog of mud and slop, The message firmly planted within their mind. Coming upon the dark outline of the castle ahead the warrior picks up pace, Reflecting upon what would happen to those that the Warrior helped. The pace is now fueled by a different kind of urgency. The rain is cold upon the face's of those that it falls on, The torn edges of metal digging in at places, Some already wounded and tender, As the final hilltop between them is crested. The gates are closed, And this loyal soldier is for the moment shut out, A fist is raised, The declaration of allegiance given, An angry detailing of the warriors achievements and adventures shouted, And a challenge of one's path, Building in anger and fury as the dam finally breaks and gushes forth, Threatening to shatter the gate and doors to splinters and twisted metal. A long ago promised gift to be rewarded, For all the things endured, Things that could be considered so cruel, The storm picks up in force until it's akin to that of a hurricane, As if brought forth by the warrior's grief and pain finally being released, For the first and only time. These things ringing out despite the storms roaring wind, Gathering force, Perhaps in affirmation of the warrior's words. After a pause the gate begins to lift, It's metal screeching, The doors groaning as they begin to swing outward, and the battered soldier is bathed in light, Taking the weight from the warrior's shoulders, As the threshold is finally crossed.
0
May 12, 2018
May 12, 2018 at 9:22 PM UTC
Threshold
Great tragedy suffered, Impossible circumstances conquered, The warrior walks upon the field flanked path. The wanderer's armor tells a tale, Battle scarred and partially rent asunder, A face of stoicism that hides the haggardness underneath, Peeking out beneath the mask of a hardened soldier. The clouds clap ahead, preceded by flashes of light brightly illuminating the world, Accompanied shortly after by the rainfall. A trickle becomes a downpour, The battered individual trudging along as the road becomes a bog of mud and slop, The message firmly planted within their mind. Coming upon the dark outline of the castle ahead the warrior picks up pace, Reflecting upon what would happen to those that the Warrior helped. The pace is now fueled by a different kind of urgency. The rain is cold upon the face's of those that it falls on, The torn edges of metal digging in at places, Some already wounded and tender, As the final hilltop between them is crested. The gates are closed, And this loyal soldier is for the moment shut out, A fist is raised, The declaration of allegiance given, An angry detailing of the warriors achievements and adventures shouted, And a challenge of one's path, Building in anger and fury as the dam finally breaks and gushes forth, Threatening to shatter the gate and doors to splinters and twisted metal. A long ago promised gift to be rewarded, For all the things endured, Things that could be considered so cruel, The storm picks up in force until it's akin to that of a hurricane, As if brought forth by the warrior's grief and pain finally being released, For the first and only time. These things ringing out despite the storms roaring wind, Gathering force, Perhaps in affirmation of the warrior's words. After a pause the gate begins to lift, It's metal screeching, The doors groaning as they begin to swing outward, and the battered soldier is bathed in light, Taking the weight from the warrior's shoulders, As the threshold is finally crossed.
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41
I am a man Who screams by night And smiles by day. I look at myself, I don't see me anymore Just a shell from before, empty and haggard. My eyes have lost their shine. The path ahead forgotten Trudging through mud, looking to the sky. Now I know for certain, soon I will die. Not from coincidence or neglect; From these hands of mine.
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Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016 at 9:24 PM UTC
These Hands
O fast day that trembles at the sight of Moon - when will your warm arms bend again the night's thick armor that shades the world of joyous muse?   It is most facetious in its illusion, that renegade of pale indifference, when daylight dwindles and leaves more to imagine than can be seen with naked eye.   Beneath the gaze of Her taunting face, people do not walk as done in light - suddenly, trudging and stumbling are hip style. Faces covered in guilt, remorse, fatigue - all the things Sun can wash away with a simple, lucid grin.   If brightest bright were set ablaze amidst the night, would people be plucked from this false sanctuary which darkness so convincingly provides? Then many a Lost could be freed; if only to see clearly through effervescent haze.   O blessed Sun! With your arousal, Truth and Freedom will also renew - until again that blank stare casts its malevolent glow on Delusion.
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Jan 27, 2018
Jan 27, 2018 at 4:48 AM UTC
Ode to an Evening
sometimes my feet feel so heavy I want to give up, then someone walks from behind and I realize I am not walking this path alone. somehow, I feel a little bit lighter and filled with purpose in my step, and I catch up to the next guy and help him get up and walk the path together.
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Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 7:53 AM UTC
trudging along the spiritual path
I’m working to unwrap you slowly To form you up like a theory To create a habitat for you in my head My steps grow wider when I see you at the end Lying, lounging, an old lion Afternoon sun low and tired Rays and shadows streak the road like enveloping arms As I grow closer, you project even further away I just long to reach you Rest my head against your ***** and Sleep against your softness like a pile of feathers To rest at last. But at times I think I’ll never reach you, As I approach you reflect even further away I wonder that this road is endless, thinning into the distance The black wires radiate into the air above me Mutating my simple DNA into something else entirely A sole purpose survivor, a solider The cause is more desperate now They’re buzzing to each other above my head, talking about me Their scrutiny banging between my ears The dust becomes a new layer of me, with incredible thirst Just fields of dehydrated dandelions, just nothing They soak up the liquid from everything With their chemical and electrical waves The fields are screeching as they shrivel up, like dying children Now it’s all yellow, beige, and far away It’s all so tiny against the horizon, For all I know, your silhouette has become a statue by now Just this long stripe of dirt I treat like a passageway Just a ladder to a final place of rest I’m desperate for a stop in my trudging motion But I know I can’t lie down in this unworthy sand.
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Dec 4, 2012
Dec 4, 2012 at 5:52 PM UTC
Yellow
My mind is constantly occupied by the demons of my past and the omens of my future. Waging an impossible war, causing sickness, and torturing my conscience without remorse. I can hear the screaming of the casualties as I take one more sip, hit, or push. Begging for me to stop, but at the same time thanking me for the temporary numbness I can feel my heart exploding in my chest, as if it were trying to free itself from the slavery it is experiencing. Beat after beat it continues to grow weary and unsympathetic, Trudging through the chemicals and unrelentless lovers. all the while receiving no attention or appreciation. I can feel my soul, beautiful and full of life. As old as they come, with more stories than I would probably care to hear. Wise and wounded, healed and broken again. Becoming tougher and more layered much like the act of crafting an authentic samurai sword. Swift and elegant. Waiting to escape this imperfect body only to move onto another puppet of which it will guide and personalize. The beauty of these three broken and bruised vigilantes working in total harmony is the most beautiful and awe-inspiring thing I have ever come to know. I am greatful until the end, whenever that may be. I will enjoy the life that they have given me, and I will spread that energy to those in need of it. As ***** and tired as they may be, it is more than most will ever have the opportunity to experience
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Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012 at 2:56 PM UTC
Vigilante
Jagged edges , sharp turns and screeching halts. what a build up. impatient for the explosion, yet trudging on. waiting. hoping for that silver lining, a moment to breathe gone too soon heaving, grasping, panting. more turns, and sharper edges. like a lead foot on an open road faster, faster too fast losing control trying to find something to hold on to. someone. but nothing, no one. you scream louder, harder tears pouring. hands clenched heart pounding. there's no stopping. you let it take over. faster, faster. you can see it. too fast. the end of the..
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Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 10:57 PM UTC
Anxiety
i go through this daily plot waking, working, trudging first world ease, office walls wheeled chairs afternoon run tupperware lunch dinner the night before home again, dinner dishes again, play again, daughter picks up new phrases, new looks vegetable strainer toy "umbrella," she says i see those eyes, my wife's and i wonder what is this place? these walls, these roads, those sitka pines and shrinking glaciers? how 'm i supposed to be a father with all these things stretching out vaster than reason, than comprehension those talking heads, ranting this or that liberty's ***** freedom's snatched, the world warms, the world cools Filipinos scream in the face of angry winds, the prim cut weatherman wildly gestures at a colorful map, powerful he says, historic he says more dripping mouthes, government want guns now, more money to ****** our phones to send unmanned drones our president's muhammad, or jesus, or kenyan, or raciest a genius or incompetent everyone knows just back home a tiny algae grows and foams thrashing in the autumn water brown oxygen choking life never found on our shores before kills fish, i imagine so much more i hold my daughter in my lap reading mother goose, run my hand through her thin smooth hair, sometimes afraid of what she'll see and hear with her mother's eyes and her father's ears
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Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 3:10 AM UTC
Plea
Light cresting the horizon, she reveals herself to me. Her brilliant beauty shining, enlightening me is the Sun. Leaving me blind eyes for it's long since I've seen the light. As my sight returns, I see a smile upon her glowing face. Happiness and warmth shines through, but also sadness. Such a cavernous sorrow only matched by mine. She speaks to me of a wish to be with the Moon once more. Like when the land was warm and both did linger in the sky. A brisk winter wind now engulfs the Sun. Yet still she shines beautiful life, given to all that behold her. I have felt her kind light on me, and I have come to cherish the feel. Memories of my unending midnight that left me cold and bleak, evaporated; replaced with joy, for returned have the young embers of feelings. With the presence of the Sun I have been brought back to life. And I wish to covet her, like the day does the light. I whisper a wish, a pining desire to share that heavenly grace with the Sun. But I may only behold her poetic wonder with my eyes I fear. Far to deep is her flame, which I still yearn after. Trudging forth is a feeling of looming disaster, for her thirst is of the Moon's accompaniment alone. Who am I to stand between the Sun and Moon? Gods in the sky. For I do not reside above the clouds; I am but a mere observer far below. Enchanted by the mellow glide through the heavens that they shared. The Moon should feel her kind sunshine upon his face again. He knows little of the night that I have hid in for ages repeated, for he is not charged to linger in darkness for all eternity, like I. A reluctance I feel to accept the truth, but I may not escape it. Though, should my heart be tamed? Which is so full of longing. Ages have passed since my bones have felt this empowering warmth. I find my mind imagining, dreaming, wandering; into a place it's far too long since felt any comfort in. Only to be brought back to the present by the warmth of her smile, a glance from her beautiful piercing eyes, to hark of her divine laughter. Remembering that happiness is felt in the presence of a flower, yet to pluck it for ones self, would begin an end to its beauty. Whatever may be the desire of the Sun, I share for her too. For she has shown me life like I've forgotten was possible. A gift of the like that I could never return with all of my days. A lost soul in lingering affection of a star, to be looked upon as a fool. Though a fool for attempting, rather a fool for abstaining. So return to the dark I will, awaiting in hope for my day to come. The day that the Sun should like to illuminate me again, and fill my soul with warmth. Yet I am terrified that day will never arrive for me, for I've known not but this tragic desolation that has consumed my heart. Until I met the Sun.
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Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 1:34 PM UTC
Until I met the Sun
Light cresting the horizon, she reveals herself to me. Her brilliant beauty shining, enlightening me is the Sun. Leaving me blind eyes for it's long since I've seen the light. As my sight returns, I see a smile upon her glowing face. Happiness and warmth shines through, but also sadness. Such a cavernous sorrow only matched by mine. She speaks to me of a wish to be with the Moon once more. Like when the land was warm and both did linger in the sky. A brisk winter wind now engulfs the Sun. Yet still she shines beautiful life, given to all that behold her. I have felt her kind light on me, and I have come to cherish the feel. Memories of my unending midnight that left me cold and bleak, evaporated; replaced with joy, for returned have the young embers of feelings. With the presence of the Sun I have been brought back to life. And I wish to covet her, like the day does the light. I whisper a wish, a pining desire to share that heavenly grace with the Sun. But I may only behold her poetic wonder with my eyes I fear. Far to deep is her flame, which I still yearn after. Trudging forth is a feeling of looming disaster, for her thirst is of the Moon's accompaniment alone. Who am I to stand between the Sun and Moon? Gods in the sky. For I do not reside above the clouds; I am but a mere observer far below. Enchanted by the mellow glide through the heavens that they shared. The Moon should feel her kind sunshine upon his face again. He knows little of the night that I have hid in for ages repeated, for he is not charged to linger in darkness for all eternity, like I. A reluctance I feel to accept the truth, but I may not escape it. Though, should my heart be tamed? Which is so full of longing. Ages have passed since my bones have felt this empowering warmth. I find my mind imagining, dreaming, wandering; into a place it's far too long since felt any comfort in. Only to be brought back to the present by the warmth of her smile, a glance from her beautiful piercing eyes, to hark of her divine laughter. Remembering that happiness is felt in the presence of a flower, yet to pluck it for ones self, would begin an end to its beauty. Whatever may be the desire of the Sun, I share for her too. For she has shown me life like I've forgotten was possible. A gift of the like that I could never return with all of my days. A lost soul in lingering affection of a star, to be looked upon as a fool. Though a fool for attempting, rather a fool for abstaining. So return to the dark I will, awaiting in hope for my day to come. The day that the Sun should like to illuminate me again, and fill my soul with warmth. Yet I am terrified that day will never arrive for me, for I've known not but this tragic desolation that has consumed my heart. Until I met the Sun.
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45
Just for a moment I was a time traveler Nicotine, coffee beans Trudging through the Ardennes Running down some cobblestone road I still don’t know where it goes Just for a moment I was a woman A slightly distorted version of myself Strong cheekbones petite nose What are those? Just for a moment Seventy-three years ago A machine gun in my hand Making my last stand Just for a moment I was truly myself   Something I’ve never felt My soul is crying out
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Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 3:46 AM UTC
Old soul
I had not been born yet. Still, I can see you at your labor - alone, scouring the meadows for the stones - lifting their gray shoulders from the moist earth - pulling them from the green grasp of briars, goldenrod, and Queen Anne’s Lace. The smell of the earth must have filled you with your own childhood memories - of plowing fields and cold mornings trudging across barn yards mud thick on your boots - promising yourself that someday you would leave and never return. I can hear the pick axe - the sharp strikes against the stones, and the dull thud when the earth swallowed the blade - and the deep exhalations when the stones tumbled into the old wheelbarrow – new then - that now leans rusting against my garden shed. Some of the stones were so large - far too large for one man – how did you move them? I look at the old photographs and you seem so young – so much younger than I am today - and so thin – staring off-frame beyond the camera. What were you looking for in those fields? I can see you sorting the stones, stacking them - building and unbuilding and rebuilding the walls and  terraces until the walls were true and the terraces level and planted with dogwood, birches, soft grass for bare feet, and bordered with roses. Did you know that you were building my castle? That the highest terrace would be my tower and keep? I remember calling out to my knights, my legionnaires, and tribesmen – rallying them in defense of the citadel –  ready for the coming siege. I also remember looking out across that verdant kingdom for the last time - no longer a king or a boy – and miles away, across the river to the west, I imagined the new home that awaited us. I couldn’t know how far away it would be or what it meant to leave. This morning, as I looked out across the garden that I have built, I felt the weightlessness of time and its gravity settling me into place. For a brief moment I had the sensation that I was standing on the shoulders of gathered stones. (for my father, Guy Spencer.) Tom Spencer © 2015
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Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 12:13 PM UTC
Gathered Stones
I had not been born yet. Still, I can see you at your labor - alone, scouring the meadows for the stones - lifting their gray shoulders from the moist earth - pulling them from the green grasp of briars, goldenrod, and Queen Anne’s Lace. The smell of the earth must have filled you with your own childhood memories - of plowing fields and cold mornings trudging across barn yards mud thick on your boots - promising yourself that someday you would leave and never return. I can hear the pick axe - the sharp strikes against the stones, and the dull thud when the earth swallowed the blade - and the deep exhalations when the stones tumbled into the old wheelbarrow – new then - that now leans rusting against my garden shed. Some of the stones were so large - far too large for one man – how did you move them? I look at the old photographs and you seem so young – so much younger than I am today - and so thin – staring off-frame beyond the camera. What were you looking for in those fields? I can see you sorting the stones, stacking them - building and unbuilding and rebuilding the walls and  terraces until the walls were true and the terraces level and planted with dogwood, birches, soft grass for bare feet, and bordered with roses. Did you know that you were building my castle? That the highest terrace would be my tower and keep? I remember calling out to my knights, my legionnaires, and tribesmen – rallying them in defense of the citadel –  ready for the coming siege. I also remember looking out across that verdant kingdom for the last time - no longer a king or a boy – and miles away, across the river to the west, I imagined the new home that awaited us. I couldn’t know how far away it would be or what it meant to leave. This morning, as I looked out across the garden that I have built, I felt the weightlessness of time and its gravity settling me into place. For a brief moment I had the sensation that I was standing on the shoulders of gathered stones. (for my father, Guy Spencer.) Tom Spencer © 2015
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83
Children, I come back today To tell you a story of the long dark way That I had to climb, that I had to know In order that the race might live and grow. Look at my face -- dark as the night -- Yet shining like the sun with love's true light. I am the dark girl who crossed the red sea Carrying in my body the seed of the free. I am the woman who worked in the field Bringing the cotton and the corn to yield. I am the one who labored as a slave, Beaten and mistreated for the work that I gave -- Children sold away from me, I'm husband sold, too. No safety , no love, no respect was I due. Three hundred years in the deepest South: But God put a song and a prayer in my mouth . God put a dream like steel in my soul. Now, through my children, I'm reaching the goal. Now, through my children, young and free, I realized the blessing deed to me. I couldn't read then. I couldn't write. I had nothing, back there in the night. Sometimes, the valley was filled with tears, But I kept trudging on through the lonely years. Sometimes, the road was hot with the sun, But I had to keep on till my work was done: I had to keep on! No stopping for me -- I was the seed of the coming Free. I nourished the dream that nothing could smother Deep in my breast -- the ***** mother. I had only hope then , but now through you, Dark ones of today, my dreams must come true: All you dark children in the world out there, Remember my sweat, my pain, my despair. Remember my years, heavy with sorrow -- And make of those years a torch for tomorrow. Make of my pass a road to the light Out of the darkness, the ignorance, the night. Lift high my banner out of the dust. Stand like free men supporting my trust. Believe in the right, let none push you back. Remember the whip and the slaver's track. Remember how the strong in struggle and strife Still bar you the way, and deny you life -- But march ever forward, breaking down bars. Look ever upward at the sun and the stars. Oh, my dark children, may my dreams and my prayers Impel you forever up the great stairs -- For I will be with you till no white brother Dares keep down the children of the ***** Mother.
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4.5k
The ***** Mother
Children, I come back today To tell you a story of the long dark way That I had to climb, that I had to know In order that the race might live and grow. Look at my face -- dark as the night -- Yet shining like the sun with love's true light. I am the dark girl who crossed the red sea Carrying in my body the seed of the free. I am the woman who worked in the field Bringing the cotton and the corn to yield. I am the one who labored as a slave, Beaten and mistreated for the work that I gave -- Children sold away from me, I'm husband sold, too. No safety , no love, no respect was I due. Three hundred years in the deepest South: But God put a song and a prayer in my mouth . God put a dream like steel in my soul. Now, through my children, I'm reaching the goal. Now, through my children, young and free, I realized the blessing deed to me. I couldn't read then. I couldn't write. I had nothing, back there in the night. Sometimes, the valley was filled with tears, But I kept trudging on through the lonely years. Sometimes, the road was hot with the sun, But I had to keep on till my work was done: I had to keep on! No stopping for me -- I was the seed of the coming Free. I nourished the dream that nothing could smother Deep in my breast -- the ***** mother. I had only hope then , but now through you, Dark ones of today, my dreams must come true: All you dark children in the world out there, Remember my sweat, my pain, my despair. Remember my years, heavy with sorrow -- And make of those years a torch for tomorrow. Make of my pass a road to the light Out of the darkness, the ignorance, the night. Lift high my banner out of the dust. Stand like free men supporting my trust. Believe in the right, let none push you back. Remember the whip and the slaver's track. Remember how the strong in struggle and strife Still bar you the way, and deny you life -- But march ever forward, breaking down bars. Look ever upward at the sun and the stars. Oh, my dark children, may my dreams and my prayers Impel you forever up the great stairs -- For I will be with you till no white brother Dares keep down the children of the ***** Mother.
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50
“Beautifully Oppressive” she called my work “beautifully oppressive”   did she mean like the stifling pall of equatorial heat?   what lines had I writ to elicit such truthful and prodigious adverbs and adjectives?   I can not recall being more flattered   or believing more that it mattered   what one said of my delirious desultory delusions, my petty pecking indulgences… I believe I was recalling a dream   that spoke of elusive, fickle salvation,   the perennial  curse of the chosen ****** and their haunting hunger for implacable peace   when I evoked that response from her   “beautifully oppressive” to feel such a fate?   the promise of heaven for those trudging through hell?   what other beautiful oppressive story could I tell?
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Jun 3, 2013
Jun 3, 2013 at 5:56 PM UTC
"beautifully oppressive" (to victoria)
Hold my hand And lead me through Traverse this land Together we two. Over unknown terrains Under weeping skies Through unforgiving plains Through pain and lies. Between grieving mountains And screaming valleys Feeding fevered delusions Fraught with delays and tarries. Beyond the hills and knolls Hopeful of salvation Surviving pits and falls Not knowing the destination. My hand still in yours An arduous odyssey Must stay the course Must complete this journey. Bright skies up ahead Or so they promise Soon shall pass they said Soon will come release. Still in this; still walking Not soon expecting the end Still in this; still trudging Round this obscured treacherous bend. Doubtful mad endeavour I dragged you with me When this finally is over We'll look back and see. Glad that we were together Glad that together we came Never cease from being near Keep holding my hand, just the same.
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Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 8:28 AM UTC
Hold My Hand
The Serpent squeezes the mundane egg, for a moment in time, …to begin the ages, turn the wheel, and so begin the rhyme, The circus has commenced, a dancing, swirling motion, …a pit of ghastly horrors, seen as a vast deep ocean, …or celestial or cosmic, as some would have the notion. Some of them were large, although some were also small, …and grotesquely figured or disfigured, a scary monster’s ball, …and trudging, stampeding, stomping or slithering down the hall. There they danced, sang or prattled, where giants fought and where they battled, …thunder unto heroes rattled, with awful screams so frightening, and terrifying lightning! Scaly, hairy or feathered, wet and fiery or weathered, …conjoined, twisted or tethered, slithery writhing together, Kingu and his wife, some say it was t’was his mother, …his plan was war and strife, pitting brother against brother, A ******* existence and so morally depraved, …a state of sickly persistence, they found themselves enslaved. Then abounding voice of heaven, that divided night by day, …brought forth a princely king of Luke; the warrior Marduk. Fourteen engaged in combat, the one against thirteen, …and thus aligned with the ecliptic, at night they can be seen,   Sloshing in the Apsu, beaten with the club, …slain and torn to pieces, cutting channels of their blood, A north wind sent them to their places, fixed on Tiamat’s wheel, …and the starry constellations, did Marduk bring to heel.
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Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 5:47 PM UTC
The Order
The Serpent squeezes the mundane egg, for a moment in time, …to begin the ages, turn the wheel, and so begin the rhyme, The circus has commenced, a dancing, swirling motion, …a pit of ghastly horrors, seen as a vast deep ocean, …or celestial or cosmic, as some would have the notion. Some of them were large, although some were also small, …and grotesquely figured or disfigured, a scary monster’s ball, …and trudging, stampeding, stomping or slithering down the hall. There they danced, sang or prattled, where giants fought and where they battled, …thunder unto heroes rattled, with awful screams so frightening, and terrifying lightning! Scaly, hairy or feathered, wet and fiery or weathered, …conjoined, twisted or tethered, slithery writhing together, Kingu and his wife, some say it was t’was his mother, …his plan was war and strife, pitting brother against brother, A ******* existence and so morally depraved, …a state of sickly persistence, they found themselves enslaved. Then abounding voice of heaven, that divided night by day, …brought forth a princely king of Luke; the warrior Marduk. Fourteen engaged in combat, the one against thirteen, …and thus aligned with the ecliptic, at night they can be seen,   Sloshing in the Apsu, beaten with the club, …slain and torn to pieces, cutting channels of their blood, A north wind sent them to their places, fixed on Tiamat’s wheel, …and the starry constellations, did Marduk bring to heel.
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23
To excel is like climbing a mighty mound So dreary it seems trudging the desolated road, But I've grown too weary doing inconsequential things. Lazy to walk, craving for a comfy abode. Though it's only disinterest that crosses my way Like a torrent of the mountain creek, Drowning me in trifling thoughts, making my journey all the more bleak. Hope I could find a tree along, Bloomed with evergreen pomes Of passion and perseverance. I'd love to nibble at them for sure, And regain my lost endurance. I know I could transcend my limits And ascend this arduous rock, If only I took the first step And started to walk.
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Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 11:38 PM UTC
My Apathy
Efforts run a trickling stream and Good Intentions leap a head, Dedication fights the hardy fight Lackadaisical rides the flow. Respite comes up fare, Desire strives ever forward, only few will Make the race, but Doing lags behind. Effort holds up, slowing a tiny bit the end not yet in sight Good Intentions has already died, Dedication surges toward the finish. The finish line is not so far, Lacky fell off quick, Respite finds one or two, Desire is crawling, Effort Is right behind, Dedication takes the easy way out. Doing is plodding, trudging up the hill, but, picks Up Desire before it falls...Effort is gone, some laugh, laugh at the race, but winning is None the Less with Doing and Desire right along.
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Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011 at 10:55 PM UTC
The Tortoise and the Hares
Nights pass and I pick away at my skin. Supine in this hallowed hollow of unwashed bedsheets and detritus Spending my time, the most precious currency to date, trudging through virtual stacks of head shots of those I've known or half-known. A healthy reminder that you are alone. You are behind. You ****** up early, kid. You are behind in some sense, even if half the acquaintances pleasant or otherwise in your class are working jobs not much better than yours. What I really hate is seeing joy. Seeing these people and their ****** happiness, it's great.     Really strengthens the misanthropic beast I've been feeding all week     And it feels good, anger Especially when the only other things I'm used to feeling are     worried or     bored So its nice to indulge, I guess I don't have to look for something to fuel my complaints, my bitter unwarranted jealousy –     that's an annoying component –     the awareness –     this would all be much more enjoyable if I didn't notice these things about myself but noticing is a habit I've nourished     for years far exceeding     the time spent with a cigarette between my fingers
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Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012 at 7:59 PM UTC
Quitting
Trudging along. Out, about, always around. Always within. Yet somehow without. The Outsider. Forever he is around. Eternally quenching a thirst Eternal is his drought. The Outsider. A part of many, Apart from the many He's forever found Wherever, whenever. Forever forgettable as the ground. The Outsider. Present as day when he's about. When gone he's an echo. An echo of a distant, Long forgotten sound.
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Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 1:15 PM UTC
The Outsider:
It’s amazing how one hospital trip can change the rest of your life. Or even lack of one even. He was four. I, three.  It was late, I had no idea why I was going to Bridget and John’s house. More importantly, I didn’t know why Zack wasn’t coming with me. 11 pm, I guess that’s pretty late for a three year old. I don’t think at that point I really had any grasp on what was actually happening. That nothing would ever be the same again. Half asleep, trudging to that sliding glass door I’d seen hundreds of times. I went into the house, the aroma of sweet cinnamon and love hung in the air. Burnt toast and peanut butter. That pretty much sums up an entire year of my life. Three years old, and for almost every weekend, which was too many, spent with Bridget and John, sleepless nights and peanut butter toast. There was: late night toast, midnight toast, way too early morning toast, morning toast, breakfast toast, too much toast. I think I was a picky three year old, then again, that isn’t exactly unheard of. I wasn’t very fond of peanut butter or toast, but I still ate it. I yearned for a sweet taste of normality. I craved something routine. Funny, because my life was everything but normal during that year. Funny, because I will never eat peanut butter toast ever, again. Many nights spent waiting for an answer. Wishing to go back, and hoping for everything to be okay. But as the car rolled out of the gravel driveway on that first night, so did an unmedicated future for my brother.
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May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 8:45 PM UTC
Burnt Toast & Peanut Butter
It’s amazing how one hospital trip can change the rest of your life. Or even lack of one even. He was four. I, three.  It was late, I had no idea why I was going to Bridget and John’s house. More importantly, I didn’t know why Zack wasn’t coming with me. 11 pm, I guess that’s pretty late for a three year old. I don’t think at that point I really had any grasp on what was actually happening. That nothing would ever be the same again. Half asleep, trudging to that sliding glass door I’d seen hundreds of times. I went into the house, the aroma of sweet cinnamon and love hung in the air. Burnt toast and peanut butter. That pretty much sums up an entire year of my life. Three years old, and for almost every weekend, which was too many, spent with Bridget and John, sleepless nights and peanut butter toast. There was: late night toast, midnight toast, way too early morning toast, morning toast, breakfast toast, too much toast. I think I was a picky three year old, then again, that isn’t exactly unheard of. I wasn’t very fond of peanut butter or toast, but I still ate it. I yearned for a sweet taste of normality. I craved something routine. Funny, because my life was everything but normal during that year. Funny, because I will never eat peanut butter toast ever, again. Many nights spent waiting for an answer. Wishing to go back, and hoping for everything to be okay. But as the car rolled out of the gravel driveway on that first night, so did an unmedicated future for my brother.
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The day I knew you died was the day my brother called and the day the cat left a half-eaten mouse on the front porch. Its tail was still there, and a little bit of pink intestine, like an exclamation mark. I swore silently. Trudging toward the back field that evening, (the mosquitoes were a ***** I found you in the creek, half submerged with your *** in the air. You were covered in dirt and blood. I put my hands on my hips and swore again. I could see even from where I was standing that your windshield was smashed all to hell and your right front tire was punctured. I would never ride with you again, never share those starry skies as we passed bloated raccoons and greasy ditches. Anger lurked behind my eyes. Your killer was lying a few feet away, Three broken legs and a shattered back, with glassy eyes that stared blankly up at the sky. In a few days I would have its antlers above the mantelpiece. But meanwhile I looked at my brother, who was standing there sheepishly, two unbroken hands shoved in his deep denim pockets, and told him he was paying for the tow.
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Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012 at 10:38 PM UTC
Red Truck
December is like trudging through each weekend's heavy snowfall And I'm sitting here aching, awaiting the healing, awaiting your call. December is like hanging onto a rope too tightly, When I loosen my grip, you tug again, nightly. December has me at the end of a yo-yo string, You drop me and I bounce between yes's and no's that sting. December did not bring happy holidays this year, I'm forcing smiles through the inevitable cheer. December is my broken my heart, a heavy snowfall, I'm aching, I'm healing, I'm forgetting your call.
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Dec 16, 2016
Dec 16, 2016 at 2:19 PM UTC
December
Is it my priestly duty to be denied? love—time and all else, at all cost! while he went home alone to watch a movie? Another victim   sacrificed having squandered all my pieces in his game? Trudging home along the river slow, in snow I parse my losses At the outskirts of a homeless camp I pause below a viaduct hauling passion by a leash warming hands avoiding hovel-eyes Flames flicker on our faces receiving absolution over embers of a burning embrace There trace in glowing holocaust of skids in human bleatings and crumblings our smoke rises— pure   obscure Appease with boozy-blur the icy, stinging God of winter stars... G’nights inaudible as blessing Am I derelict enough to be worthy? Fallen far enough? from the porches of prosperity? to escape it all? That wedding white the newborn’s head that numbing denial of decay? Am I depraved enough to make it? to the pages of your tragedy— minus poetry? But the angel said “The poetry’s more!” Than leaving me—beyond you ...in the shambles of my words
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Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 10:16 PM UTC
Holocaust of the Skids
Imagine waking up on a filthy, uneven floor - light coming solely through the flimsy wooden wall. Imagine trudging through the mud barefoot - mud merged with remnants of God knows who. Imagine breathing in thick layers of sooty dust - the colors sullen, lifeless and dull. Imagine smelling the scent of faeces and decay, of diseases and of death every single day. Imagine your belly gurgling with hunger and distraught, sniffing glue - the only way to delude. Imagine walking on rickety bridges - a step amiss and drown you will in these murky watery ditches. Imagine wearing the same old rags - all tattered and torn, being beaten and battered, no rights of which to call your own. Imagine having silly daydreams of going to school but there's not a penny to spare - not even for a worn-out book. But alas, imagine no more for such children exist, with ghosts clouding their starry dreams And death hanging heavy upon their tiny, little feet.
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Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 4:49 AM UTC
Children of the slums
trudging on the road of life can be sometime so hard and lonely. I am grateful I am not alone.
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Dec 20, 2016
Dec 20, 2016 at 8:56 PM UTC
Fellowship