At first,
I thought it was the frail slouch of his shoulders and
The bewildered words tumbling out his mouth and
The rickety beat of his fragile heart,
But then I looked into his lost eyes
And saw emptiness.

If I could pour every happy memory I own into his head,
Just to see those bright blue eyes light up again,
I would.

If I could lose my most treasured dreams,
So that he could remember his beloved wife again,
I would.

If I could break every healthy bone in my body
To make his trembling heart beat strongly again,
I would.

If I could take away the struggle of each day
And the suffering of the aching pain
For each of my family members,
I would.

I would give my life ten times over
And the future I desire,
Just to see the man I remember
Back again.

They said you were old
And grown up,
I didn't understand who you were apparently
Because I was too young.
So I tried to prove my maturity
But I ended up further back from where I started.
Now I sit alone.
Sliding down a ***** back to where I started
In the darkness.
Don’t send me back there,
Don’t make me that way again.
Please.

Stuck in a car
Each seat full
Music blasting in my ears
My attempt at drowning
Their cheerful words
And irritating laughs
The world moves on by
While they talk aimlessly
Smothering me in smiles
I stare at the road
Wishing to touch it
Then then say his name.
I'm no longer suffocating
I feel naked. Vulnerable. Exposed.
They throw his name back and forth
Battering me
The music stops.
The car stops.
The world stops.
I jump out leaving them behind
With his name
Still swirling  round and round

The wings of an angel drift through the air. Coal smudged down their rigid white feathers. Poison smothered in their roots. And love... Broken through the core. One wing starts to plummet, carving scars into clear blue sky for all to see; any trace of pure ness crashes onto concrete as the first feather lands. Jet black, hard and cold. The spine torn into fragments of nothing. Yet the world echoes around it, everyone and everything bowing before darkness.
For it longer belongs to an angel but a demon.

The rain never stops these days.
It just drills into my skull
And chills my sun kissed skin,
Tapping On my shoulder begging me to remember,
But I can't. So I keep trudging along,

The further I mumble through the rain; the louder it gets,
The drumming. The flooding. The screaming.
I smack my hands against my ears,
As an attempt to block it.
But I can't. So I keep trudging along,

Rivers leak from my eyes,
Falling down my cheeks and shattering on the Tarmac,
I taste blood. My hearts bleeding again,
I try to heal it.
But I can't. So I keep trudging along,

Fragments of my heart explode,
Ripping me apart and turning the rain water red,
I used to like water. Not now.
Now it reminds me of him...
But I can't remember him. So I keep trudging along

All I asked was for you to hold the storm,
Grip it in your arms and calm it down,
To collect the rain water in your palm,
Protecting me from any harm,

Then pat it with your palm
And soothe the rumbling,
Capture the power of the lightening
And grasp it in your fingertips,

Pluck the snow and the hail
From the hard ground,
Roll it up and just throw it away
To stop it from return

And then smooth the rough edges,
Draw back the strong waves
And the destructive gales,
Keep me safe from the weather.

Allow the flowers to grow,
Make the trees bloom,
Watch the colours burst,
While all the rain is kept at bay,

All I asked was for you to hold the storm,
Shelter me from the cold harsh winds
And the deathly waves,
Keep all our pain away,
But you couldn't. So now
The flowers will never grow.

Silence floods me. Drumming on my shoulders and tapping my head,
The pitter patter on the pavement counting the seconds away,
Icicles dripping and hitting the puddles,
Murky water full of lost memories and being renewed over and over...

The thunder rattles my nerves,
Pushing my feet further forward,
But the pitter patter on the pavement is counting the seconds away,
The streams come rolling down the road,
Littered water brimming with my mistakes...

The silence halts. You push the storm clouds away when you charge through the door,
The pitter patter counted three months since I last saw you,
Clear water rushes to your eyes,
You scoop me up in your arms and that's when I know:
My big bro's home.