"tole" poems
MAI BAHV SUCHI UN BHAVO KI
JO BIKE SADDA HI BIN TOLE
TANHAI HU HAR US KHAT KI JO
JO PADHA GYA HAI BIN KHOLE
HAR AANSU KO HAR PATTHAR TAK
PAHUNCHANE KI LACHAR HUK
MAI SAHAJ ARTH UN SABDO KA
JO SUNE GYE HAI BIN BOLE
JO KABI NAHI BARSA KHUL KAR
HAR US BADA L KA PANI HU
LAV-KUSH KI TEER BINA GAYE
SITA KIA RAM KAHANI HU
MAI BHAV SUCHI UN BHAVO KI.
............
KI JINKE SAPNO KE TAJ MAHAL
BAN NE SE PAHLE TUT GAYE
JI HAATHO ME DO HAATH KABHI
AANE SE PAHLE CHUT GYE
DHARTI PAR JINKE KHONE AUR
PAANE KI AJAB KAHANI HAI
KISHMAT KI DEVI MAAN GYE
PAR PRANAY DEVETA RUTH GYE
MAI MAILI CHADAR WALE US
KABIRA KI AMRIT VANI HU
LAV-KUSH KI TEER BINA GAYE
SITA KKI RAM KAHANI HU
KUCH KAHTE HAI MAI SEEKHA HU
APNE JAKHMO KO KHUDSEE KAR
KUCH JAAN GYE MAI HASHTA HU
BHEETAR BHEETAR ANSU PEEKAR
KUCH KAHTE HAI MAI HU VIRODH SE
UPJI EK KHUDAAR VIJAY
KUCH KAHTE HAI MAI MARTA HU
KHUD ME JEEKAR KHUD ME MARKAR
LEKIN MAI HAR CHATURI KI
SOCHI SAMJHI NADANI HU
LAV-KUSH KI TEER BINA GAYE
SITA KI RAM KAHANI HU...
WRITTEN BY :::::: SHASHANK KUMAR DWIVEDI
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 8:11 AM UTC
Mai bhav suchi un bhavo ki
jo bike sada hi bin tole
Tanhai hu har us khat ki
jo padha gya h bin khole..
Har aanshu ko har patthar tak
pahuchane ki laachar huk
Mai sahaj arth un sabdo ka
jo sune gye h bin bole..
Jo kabhi nahi barsha khul kar
har uss badal ka paani hu
Lav-Kush ki teer bina gaye
Sita ki Ram kahani hu..
Ki jinke sapno ke Taj -Mahal
ban ne se pahle tut gaye
Jin haatho me do haath kabhi
aane se pahle chut gaye
Dharti par jinke khone aur
paane ki ajab kahani h
Kishmat ki devi maan gye
par pranay devta ruth gaye..
Mai maili chadar wale uss
Kabira ki amrit vaani hu
Lav-Kush ki teer bina gaye
Sita ki raam kahani hu..
Kuch kahte hai mai sikha hu
apne jakhmo ko khud see kar
Kuch jaan gaye mai hashta hu
bhitar bhitar aanshu peekar..
Kuch kahte hai mai virodh se
uppji ek khuddar vijay
Kuch kahte hai mai marta hu
khud me jeekar khud me markar..
Leekin mai har chaturai ki
sochi samjhi naadani hu
Lav-Kush ki teer bina gaye
Sita ki Ram kahani hu
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 8:23 AM UTC
Dear Grandpa that I never knew,
Mommy told me so much about you,
Sorry that you couldn’t watch me grow,
Or in my childhood much could sow,
But Mommy did once a tale me tell,
Of how you made her laugh
and picked her up when she fell,
you taught my mommy of what people to one can do,
while you did live,
So Grandpa thank you
for the love to mommy you did give,
Grandpa its always been strange to hear,
How mommy does in her memories hold you dear,
I can’t help but wonder how you where,
to cause mommy when she speaks of you to cry that single tear,
Mommy said she was always one of the boys,
But you taught her she was beautiful and to keep her poise,
she was too teased for not being thin,
but you taught her who she was, was what made her win,
Of all her knowledge once belonged to you,
The songs she sings and all she holds true,
Her love for nature and ones soul,
But grandpa your death on mommy did take its tole,
So Grandpa though your absents makes her blue,
Mommy say she owes who she is all to you,
So My Grandpa by no other name,
Thank you,
Because otherwise Mommy wouldn’t be the same,
But dear Grandpa I Never Knew,
but my heart through mommy's touched,
You should know that mommy loves you,
very much,
And though I don’t know you grandpa dear,
When I see mommy cry her single tear,
I know I’d have loved you lots too,
Because mommy’s love for you was and still is so true.
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012 at 6:19 AM UTC
Moon is not beautiful
She doth not shine golden
She drops weakened, white light
on creatures craving sleep
She sits there and stares
At a frightened little world
with her cold, chilling glow
and a hostility deep
It's ingrained in her soul
to make the nimbus look fearsome
ghastly and pale
like a place to hide demons
She debases belief
We forget our star-wish
and thick, we go fishing
at nighttime
And then, Moon releases
a loneliness, cold
and we can't elude
we're stuck in the hole of
This brooding solitude mood
and its tole.
There's no escaping anytime soon
As we start to fear
the burning sun
And I suppose, this is my loathing of Moon.
Moon is contagious.
She offers the aid of her presence, unfailing
When we're washed down like willows, weakened
and wailing
And we can sail under her
Just as the dime
It's a lie that the night's
only clock-start for crime
When she's out from the hiding place
to be bright as Moon can
There's not a direction
No footpath
No overworked plan
And when I remember:
Beauty needs not a rival
I suppose I'll be loving Moon, soon again.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:54 AM UTC
happy
happy
i
just want to be
happy
happy
i am happy
when i am happy
so very
very happy
i would be very happy
if i had a lotta money
i have a friend who is a doctor
and he tole me so
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 14, 2010 at 4:56 PM UTC
Life,
Feeling really dull,
Can't cut through it like a butter knife,
Every second I sink into this hole,
See all people but Im a low life,
Pain to strong as it takes a tole,
Cut so deep,
Can't get away from this pull,
To scared to get up and take a leap......
Falling into sorrow,
Might call it quits tomorrow,
there is a light that I follow,
insomnia like an owl,
**** up the pain like a towel,
Every turn in life is like a foul.....
Life,
Life,
Time to face facts,
Like a video game I need hacks,
Got all my boys backs,
But they all seem to slack,
Weight heavy like Shaq,
Life,
Life,
Seeing the upside,
Anger so tame,
No reason to hide,
Everyone in such shame,
Wishing they were on my side,
Sitting with all the fame,
At the top now and never really tried,
Wish you all could have came,
But all of you lied,
Now I know it was all a game.
Life
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 4:19 AM UTC
Out of the oblivion they crawled
Death’s voice beckoned and called
Out of the oblivion they stumbled
A mass of bewildered people fumbled
Their eyes ablaze with fire
No one gave up or tired
The shepherd, a sign of hope
The shepherd, a reason to cope
Though Death had beckoned once more
The troops fought on with a battle-cry roar
Their swords held high
The shepherd led the goodbye
Death beckoned for the last time and took a mighty tole
The living left to grieve the poor souls
But the shepherd carried on
And led the troops as one
The battle finally ending
People needing care and mending
The shepherd told the troops to fight on
To never loose sight of the light and rage on!
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013 at 8:58 PM UTC
Brightly burning,
Mistaken, disowned.
A heart of fire burns on.
Roars of pain,
Tears of deceit.
Manipulation takes it's tole.
You are mistaken to treat her this way.
You are a fool to believe.
That you can defeat me.
My heart burns on.
Her scars glow.
We are one,
Under the fiery sun.
Sisters of Fire and Ice.
Warriors of Right's.
We will defeat you.
Torture us at your will.
We will stand.
And defeat you.
You are the ******* here.
Die now.
In Vain.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 9:17 AM UTC
Why do we fight and argue
Over things that dont make since
Why do we scream and shout
Over things we cant work out
Why do we have this incessant need to banter and bicker
About every little meaningless insecurity
We scrutinies everyone's lives but our own
Plaster their lies on every visible space
And the skeletons are beating down your vale
Of hidden closet doors
Offer up your educated opinion in your best efforts of advise
For dealing with their misdeeds
And at every turn the skeletons are beating down
Your vale of hidden closet doors
They scrutinies your every move
Cold and calculated to take away your dignity
Until all you have left are the demons they made
And the skeletons are beating down your vale of hidden closet doors
They spit it back in your face
And expect you not to move
Only to leave you standing there
Feeling disgraced and bruised
They created havoc in your life
To be left wandering with no tears to cry
You bottled up every ounce of pain
Wondering the tole your broken laughter would gain
Made many a useless plea
Fall upon many a deaf ear
Let escape many hollow sighs
Wondering if they heard your placid crys
Broke the shattered mirror
For disgust of pieces of battered dreams
Wondering if the skeleton key can be re-cut
Standing behind your vale of hidden closet doors.
Dec 18, 2010
Dec 18, 2010 at 8:53 AM UTC
I walk into this containment cell of lost souls
Groping around hoping to succeed towards their parent'a goals
We are all just playing another role
A building block under their control
But when you're the block that causes Jenga, heads start to roll
They'll throw you into a hole
Where you'll live your life like a mole
An animal in a cage, a box, a cell, that's the tole
Their real goal
To lock you up and maintain control
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 5:22 PM UTC
I don't kiss someone without stopping myself
What do they intend to do?
Will this be the start of the love of my life?
Or are they just using me like you?
I take things slow and I think I do too much
My friends tell me all that they've done
I wanna be as free with my body as they all are
But I can't, because of what happened once
All I ask myself is if I'll get played
And did i deserve it because I stayed?
Every boy takes his tole
And to this day I haven't told a soul
How do I ask for help without giving up my cover?
Will I ever fall in love with another?
Why did I cry on the chest of a new man
Because of you when I hate you, understand
I'll never love with my whole entire self
And I hope you don't as well
May 24, 2017
May 24, 2017 at 3:59 PM UTC
I have so much to tell you, but I don't know where to start.
This is the beginning of giving you my heart.
I've been through a lot of sorrow, I've been forced to endure pain.
I have had some feelings that I never could explain.
My heart has been shattered, time and time again.
And I came close to believing that love was a sin.
Now all I have are pieces of a heart that once was whole.
And I'm trying to fix the damage from where it took it's tole.
I'll be completely honest, I'm overcome with fear.
I'm terrified of love because it only brings me tears.
I'm clinging to my heart, afraid of handing it to you,
because I'm afraid that, like the others, you'll just crush it too.
If my heart breaks anymore, all I'll have left is dust.
I'll be devoid of emotion, sanity, or trust.
So if I give you my heart, please handle it with care.
Don't throw it to the ground and leave me swimming in dispair.
It's just so hard to love again when my heart is so worn out.
I promise I'll try but please forgive me if I have doubts.
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM UTC
Daily,
Anna Tole
rides by me.
sitting up straight;
pedaling awkwardly.
she looks down:
maybe at the dirt
or a stone,
but it’s most probably
something i cant see
with glass eyes
alone.
she sees things…
like a seed taking root
or a nest where foxes
chew rocks
in constant costly pursuit
of that elusive sharper tooth
clouded. constant. clarity.
she looks closer
to see grains of sand
much darker
than her pre-disposed
pre-dawn
darkness
the kind
that attaches itself
tangled up behind her
she might as well be
tying soda cans
to tap out a
telegraph message
s.o.s…s.o.s…s.o.s…
Jan 15, 2011
Jan 15, 2011 at 9:48 PM UTC
I walked ten thousand miles
In the many years
I've joined hands with my insanity
Walked hand in hand
Like shadows and feet
Grasping a new perspective on the instance
That reality is just a fictional world
We lose ourselves in
Where is the real you?
Is that truly you in the mirror
Or the reflection of the world
Taken it's tole on your weary bones
Fragile shapes bearly holding a grin
I've walked so many beaten paths
Beaten so many paths
Bean beaten by paths
Yet still find myself walking
Down the only path
Covered by thorns and barbed wire
One way in no way out
It's the path we all walk unknowingly
The path of our own troublesome sanity
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013 at 2:10 PM UTC
Slogging through endless Whitman prose and I have to make little marks
on the pages every 8 to 14 lines as my mind will not quit the wandering roam.
Blanket paragraphs blend into infinite droll, never ending whine-fest of bull
jazz…jazz singers fill the empty spaces between
the lines of drivel.
The dog barks on the veranda looking old and sad in the wind,
The water trickles through a series of rusted and holey pipes… peeling
asbestos laden lead paint tricks the mouths of children… a sick cat heaves near the Chesterfield.
Finding myself no longer interested in freelance fodder, I real from one daydream to the next
without enough pause to subconsciously journal… a subcutaneous oak shard
gives a slight reddish bump to my well defined forearm,
slight pressure sends nearly transparent ****
screaming from its melanin tomb.
The sliver remains diligent.
The sliver holds its ground,
The sliver has a new home,
The sliver wants to die here,
and never again travel the long lonesome forest road,
The sliver shines silver in the sunlight,
I shiver at the sight.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 5:16 PM UTC
As you travel this road
looking to find
Someone in need of love.
Whose broken spirit
in need of repair
By the Love given Above.
It might be someone
whose given up hope
And is found in deep despair.
With all hope gone
no place to turn
no shoes or clothes to wear.
The drug once chosen
For what ever the reason
Has taken them to the ground.
They need a hand
To help them up
Out of the hole they are found.
You see the pain
deep within
Caused by someones lust
No way to cope
to overcome
For they have lost their trust.
A kind word here
A smile there
Can help fill the hole.
When hope was lost
By careless words
And actions took their tole.
As I travel this road
Hoping to find
A soul in need of love
May directions come
To me this hour
From Love given Above.
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 21, 2016 at 6:53 PM UTC
People ask me what it feels like to have no control
I tell them, it feels like freedom of the mind
It feels like the suffering never happened, the pain never scarred
And soaring through skies is possible, oh
I wish I could go back, store all the love that you gave me
and put it in a bottle, your love at full throttle
Whenever I need dosing
I could drink your love and smile
Knowing things will be okay,
That life will be okay
Seasons change and smiles fade
As I got older, I felt that I grew colder
And I, now all I do, is try to find replacements of feelings
With substances of nature and not
I wish I could go back, store all the love that you gave me
and put it in a bottle, your love at full throttle
Whenever I need dosing
I could drink your love and smile
Knowing things will be okay,
That life will be okay
Oh innocence, bring me back to the world?
I've lost all control and I'm starting to feel the tole
Oh innocence, can we please make a truce?
I, promise you won't slip through my fingers
Won't dissolve in my veins
I will be sane
I wish I could go back, store all the love that you gave me
and put it in a bottle, your love at full throttle
But I know, that it's all up to me, if I want to be free
I must, spread my wings and put down the bottle
Put down the love, it's decayed anyway
The only thing left is water droplets stuck on the side
It's all on me now
Mar 2, 2013
Mar 2, 2013 at 5:27 PM UTC
I search
for the words
I
wrote on my hips;
but
not another word,
left my frozen lips.
There is no way to
springtime,
the winter,
takes her tole.
I bury myself away,
in this 3 pillow,
double bedded hole.
Darling, but I keep myself sane.
I dream of flowers in my hair & the warmth in your name.
Early July conversations,
tapping strings, how we'd softly sing
& were guided to one another's lips
at the very touch of our finger tips.
I always thought I was better than this,
but
Love,
Your heart is one I often miss.
Mar 4, 2014
Mar 4, 2014 at 9:25 PM UTC
They need not say anything.
She sits at his side,
Her hand atop his,
Loosely gripped more powerfully than any muscle could manage.
They need not say anything.
She is still, quiet and vacant.
Everything she has: is given to him;
All of her muster,
Her strength,
Her compassion.
Is given to him in a single glance.
They need not say anything.
She watches the glisten of his,
leave his eye,
A hard road fought,
Struggle takes tole.
He battled not for him,
She knows he endured.
They need not say anything.
And they sit through unrest,
More Spartan than Doric.
***** gives him no peace,
There is no comfort in her eyes.
They need not say anything,
There is nothing an “i love you” could add.
Heavy weighs the air of orbits,
So many shared in spin,
Falling through time together.
The half mast flag,
The empty chair,
The fools suffered gladly.
The whisky corked,
The tune unsung,
The chuckle lost to history.
A million fires could not burn with the strength you showed in leaving.
A million men; you were and are,
Each and all worth hearing.
Glorious love,
Has filled this hall.
Strangers, family, friends.
Remember together,
Mourn one and all,
A father, a brother, one Les.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 2:26 AM UTC
Soft lullabies of the sirens song
Are sang with no remorse
Thinking this could be a trap
As I lay my head back
Worlds collided
Behind each eyelid
While she slept
Every secret she kept crept
Through the darkness of the room
Seeking to consume all we assumed
Swallowing me whole
As I try to keep hold
Of my curiousity
And not let my thoughts
Run off with me
Pulling the questions from under me
**What is she wondering?
Why does the rain keep thundering?
How long will her dreams keep her away from me?
When will she wake up?
Where will she be?
Who will she see?**
Will it be me?
Or just the reminiscence of broken memories
I fought everything she brought
And I thought that I taught myself better
Yet here she sleeps
As I watch her dreams seep
Into the deep depths
Where her nightmare-ish demons rule
The one and only thing I can do
Is plant the seed and hope it doesn't bleed
It's not up to me what she lets run free
But observing her wishes and hopes
Grow and pop like over inflated balloons
Is taking a tole on me
She's unknowingly breaking the whole of me
And picking the pieces apart
Sticking them back at the start
In my sickening blackened heart
From behind the scars
Her mind and heart whisper to me
*"She won't let us tell you
But we're tired of the struggle
So we speak to you while we still have control
This girl that you hold...
Has a skull full of doubt
And it starting to push us out
It's shade of blue is shining through
So we don't know what else to do
We might just let her love you...
If you gave us the chance
We could make her legs dance
Then she would love you...
With no remorse, we promise, she would love you"*
I peer upon the closed windows to her soul
And want nothing more
Then to rip them open and scream
I LOVE YOU!
Because I want her very spirit to hear it.
Dec 11, 2010
Dec 11, 2010 at 12:10 PM UTC
You can smell the alcohol off my breath
The burn is soothing,
This life leading to an unforgettable death
The beat of the drum gets me moving,
Going around the clock on **** and cigarettes
Waiting for a surprise,
"What did I do with my phone?" She forgets,
What will tonight bring? Will she have to tell more lies?
Stale smoke never lingers
Because she clears the bowl,
Hoping for the rush to flow to her fingers
Way up in the sky on could9, ten bucks is the gateway tole
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 12:57 PM UTC
Was there something I could of said or done?
Or am I just another loser apart of your games and she's the one who won?
This was the first time that I thought something could be perfect
That all the lying and sneaking around would one day all be worth it
But nothing can ever reach the value of perfection
With those several glaring misconceptions
Misconceptions of putting your heart on your sleeve
Misconceptions of being held in the silence that makes it hurt to breathe
And that smile behind your eyes that once stared deep into my soul
The gaze that once made me melt with butterflies, but then the your little catch took its tole
How could you lie to me so blatantly with no remorse?
Was all of this just a joke to you while your reality took its course?
As the mistakes began to haunt you and your insecurities were exposed
Was it your only option to rip up this melody so well composed?
Ignoring the truth and replaying the broken record playing in your head
This keeps you up at night, screaming in your face as you lay awake in bed
Press pause.
Here's the cause:
Its painful watching you settle for garbage when you deserve gold
Despite what anyone else has done to you and what you've been told
I never fight for someone unless I truly feel something
Even though it was only a couple weeks and appeared as nothing
I felt it, and I still do
so please, just tell me, do you feel it too?
Apr 15, 2012
Apr 15, 2012 at 10:20 PM UTC
I am but a boy,
who became a man.
And for every day I lived as myself,
I grew into something more.
Until I was more than I ever was before.
I lived a life's journey in 15 years,
Through every stone and sneer.
I have a strength that was always my own,
Yet it is a power we have all known.
I am strong with this power, as strong as your most powerful moment.
With this power I was there when You were hurt.
You with a capitol, because you are just as important as I.
With this power I felt your pain,
How you hated yourself.
You cut.
You starved.
You did your best to DESTROY yourself. To erase yourself. To... **** yourself.
And you...
you...
you are still here.
YOU beat back depression.
YOU in all capitols because you are strong like I.
YOU took the talons of depression, hate, unhappiness, and you ripped them out,
One by one,
Each one took their tole, a piece of your beautiful soul.
But they left room to grow, to re-learn, and know,
Happiness, Peace, Joy.
You fought tooth and nail, you felt the pain like me, you gave all you WERE like ME, YOU sought FREEDOM from THE DARK like ME, YOU GAINED EVERY OUNCE OF POWER YOU HAVE NOW.
YOU gained it in saving yourself.
As I did the same.
Thats how I know I was there, along with everyone else like us.
I felt your power, Your strength, all your own, yet similar.
That strength... I admire it.
Never lose it, and I will never lose mine.
I love you, as a sister or brother.
For this strength we share.
Jul 15, 2013
Jul 15, 2013 at 11:22 PM UTC
mama, i made someone happy yesterday!
i smiled as the door opened
just as i always did
it was my first time to be chosen
to be honest i was so nervous
they made me try out so many clothes
they said i had to look as pretty as i should
they said they were trying to bring out
my youthful look...
i never thought that meant
more skin.
more chest.
more legs.
he was an old man
wrinkles ravaged round his face
yet his smile had no blemish
he stared at me
and chose me almost immediately
i was never more proud
yet i was clueless of what next to do
i should have wrote to you as early as then
but as soon as
we arrived
at my 'new home'
or at least that was how he called it
he called me to his room
he nearly had to kneel
in order to see me
eye
to
eye
i thought he was going to hug me
as he leaned in
he just undid my bra
his hands were huge
they cover almost my whole chest
he asked me to take of my shorts
and he was smiling
for once i knew
i was doing something right
i barely slid my undergarment off and he pressed me against the unsuspecting bed
he grabbed both my legs
as he told me to open them
while he tole me to close my eyes
he started
pushing against me
it was so so hard so painful
relentless excrutiating i had to
bite my tongue to stop myself
from screaming
i think i was bleeding?
i felt the blood pour out
i couldn't take it.
i couldn't ask him to calm down
it was just way too fast
he was panting breathing heavily
grunting driving himself too hard
it was like he could run out of breath
i wanted to make him stop
i really did
trust me.
but as soon as i tried to shout
or help him or something
he fell over
don't worry though he was still breathing
and his face
he just looked way too happy
i was paralyzed the rest of the day
until now i can barely stand up
but he was just so in bliss
i hope you're proud of me mama.
he said earlier he'd be taking me back
to the warehouse later
i don't know why though.
do you think he'll tell them i've been
a good daughter?
i hope so.
Dec 1, 2018
Dec 1, 2018 at 12:34 AM UTC