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"openings" poems
Lovers entered a forbidden forest bower, And as they stalked that range, with eyes glazed, She offered up her hind. Now, with doe eyes, Deep as his, deep in arousal's sleep, heels fell,  As he knocked and pulled her dark honey hair  And whispered, surrender, into wanting ears,  Softly he drove his hunting command, homing  To his huntress. Her body braced, yet bade, with heat and vibrance. Ruthlessly, he ****** his arrow deeper and then  Once more and then again.  She bucked fiercely  And defiant, goading his prodding lance ever more Ever longer, and parting the pink lines of her white Rose, he was, and once again, Prince to the dark Dominion of her quarters. In the middle of this carnal match they paused. And looking into the forest beyond they saw A yearling fawn, a feral Goddess, grazing still,  Bathing in a vale, virginal, wholly unmoved  By their act of venery, lustfully playing, in the innocent  Leaves.  It was as if they were among her kin, a gentle  Doe and a noble stag. From that moment on  The human hunters did not speak. Falling, again, rolling eyes were deep in arousal's sleep. Her back was a crescent moon pocked and wet with dew. He could feel her heart beating in time with his piercing  Prong, her arching back glistened in the suns spittle As it broke through the dark and vernal ceiling wood. In the final shot her quivering buck lowered and broke And a sound not heard, made a scene, a sweet murmuring Shuddered and sank onto the floor of the forest leaves  With her tale, taken and told, her breathless breath,  Her nostrils cold and her heated and lanced openings  Dripping, draining; here was a New World’s beginning. Sated, solemn and softly quaking, his woman sweetly laid, And now, doomed with her doe eyes, two lovers, fated, made; She glowed, divine, like the rolling brook that mellowed Slow, in the vine-dark and golden forest stable, In Artemis’s wood.
0
Jun 15, 2012
Jun 15, 2012 at 1:33 PM UTC
In Artemis’s Wood
Lovers entered a forbidden forest bower, And as they stalked that range, with eyes glazed, She offered up her hind. Now, with doe eyes, Deep as his, deep in arousal's sleep, heels fell,  As he knocked and pulled her dark honey hair  And whispered, surrender, into wanting ears,  Softly he drove his hunting command, homing  To his huntress. Her body braced, yet bade, with heat and vibrance. Ruthlessly, he ****** his arrow deeper and then  Once more and then again.  She bucked fiercely  And defiant, goading his prodding lance ever more Ever longer, and parting the pink lines of her white Rose, he was, and once again, Prince to the dark Dominion of her quarters. In the middle of this carnal match they paused. And looking into the forest beyond they saw A yearling fawn, a feral Goddess, grazing still,  Bathing in a vale, virginal, wholly unmoved  By their act of venery, lustfully playing, in the innocent  Leaves.  It was as if they were among her kin, a gentle  Doe and a noble stag. From that moment on  The human hunters did not speak. Falling, again, rolling eyes were deep in arousal's sleep. Her back was a crescent moon pocked and wet with dew. He could feel her heart beating in time with his piercing  Prong, her arching back glistened in the suns spittle As it broke through the dark and vernal ceiling wood. In the final shot her quivering buck lowered and broke And a sound not heard, made a scene, a sweet murmuring Shuddered and sank onto the floor of the forest leaves  With her tale, taken and told, her breathless breath,  Her nostrils cold and her heated and lanced openings  Dripping, draining; here was a New World’s beginning. Sated, solemn and softly quaking, his woman sweetly laid, And now, doomed with her doe eyes, two lovers, fated, made; She glowed, divine, like the rolling brook that mellowed Slow, in the vine-dark and golden forest stable, In Artemis’s wood.
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39
The vulnerability of baring myself fully clenches the belly panics the heart stands my hairs on end. It is truly the most terrifying thing to stand in ones authenticity. And yet. And yet. The courage it takes. The great tender strength. The spine tingling elation. The heart swells, and magic. The naked beauty borne, in feeling you have nothing to hide. The spirit touched ardor of a bare approach to life. The openings and the mystery. The expressions: tripping, falling, incomplete, misguided. The wonderful mistakes, elucidating lessons. The perfect imperfections. The easing of honesty. The engendered humility. The profundity. The sense of being touched, touching, and in touch with life. The unmasked revelations, of full spectral undulation. The this. The that. The I can accept it all. The dropping of shame. The incredible liberation, in shedding that shame. The finding forgiveness for self, for other. The quiver of unknowing. The sweet caress of potential. The dread. The sorrows. The uncertainties. All making room for, in their acknowledgement: Room for what else is there. Room for laughter, and joy, and luminescence. Room for flirtation, dancing, spontaneity. Breaking open. Melting into Love. Soaring on the wings of Truth. The hush, of anxious worry. The Goodness bestowed. The empathy. The compassion. The connection. The holy restoration of creative flow. The fires of real passion. And everything. And everything. And Beauty.
0
Mar 13, 2014
Mar 13, 2014 at 12:12 PM UTC
Vulnerability
So I told her That I love her And she told me that she doesn't know how she feels about it but she does enjoy our conversations our talks late into the night our small openings into each others minds and that was enough for me to keep me happy(?)
0
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 8:05 PM UTC
Happy(?)
Sometimes          I feel a well                    dug deep          into my heart   I try to stop it but it quickly becomes ocean   and overflows        into great tsunami           rises over all the levees              rushes past dams                                  breaks down tall                    city structures,               edifices crumbling            in its path      all the squid and octopi     skitting forth in wild pulses, tentacles entangled      in doorways and rooves         slipping through narrow                 window-openings                    as they pour ink                        in clouds,                          shifting shapes                           in cephalopod excitement                             while blue whales                             and humpbacks                                breach over bridges,                              phosphorescent jellies                           light up                        the dark streets of                       my arteries                      electric eels illuminate                     the alleyways of                    desolation's thick syrup                      and I cannot stop it even                             if I wanted to,                    these darkened,                      swirling waves I am both floating and flying like a jumping manta ray curling around the ferries bobbing in seahorse iridescence weaving between buses as if they were corals And when the storm subsides, colorful rockpools form, rich in diversity It is there, in between the multicolored ***** and succulent shellfish, in a mermaid's        voluptuous smile and turquoise eye that I see you, so crystal clear                 I could reach out                                     and bring you to me,                                    holding you tight                          until the                 gentle break      of           morning
0
Sep 3, 2017
Sep 3, 2017 at 5:31 PM UTC
tsunami
Sometimes          I feel a well                    dug deep          into my heart   I try to stop it but it quickly becomes ocean   and overflows        into great tsunami           rises over all the levees              rushes past dams                                  breaks down tall                    city structures,               edifices crumbling            in its path      all the squid and octopi     skitting forth in wild pulses, tentacles entangled      in doorways and rooves         slipping through narrow                 window-openings                    as they pour ink                        in clouds,                          shifting shapes                           in cephalopod excitement                             while blue whales                             and humpbacks                                breach over bridges,                              phosphorescent jellies                           light up                        the dark streets of                       my arteries                      electric eels illuminate                     the alleyways of                    desolation's thick syrup                      and I cannot stop it even                             if I wanted to,                    these darkened,                      swirling waves I am both floating and flying like a jumping manta ray curling around the ferries bobbing in seahorse iridescence weaving between buses as if they were corals And when the storm subsides, colorful rockpools form, rich in diversity It is there, in between the multicolored ***** and succulent shellfish, in a mermaid's        voluptuous smile and turquoise eye that I see you, so crystal clear                 I could reach out                                     and bring you to me,                                    holding you tight                          until the                 gentle break      of           morning
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65
****** Escapades & Moonlight Serenades, The Crystal Apparitions In Her Sanctified Masquerade, Paper Trails Breathing Under Water, Out From The Ember, Her Seductions Conquer, Silhouettes Of Her Castle Clouds, Injecting Primal Instincts Out Loud, Eleven Summers In Her Pseudo Emotive Desires, Holographic Afterlights & Freezing Fires. Twilight Light Bulbs Under The Liquid Nights, ****** Openings Of Her Sensory Delights, Unfettered Mythomania & Kaleidoscopic Highs. ****** Verses Scattering Light. Divine Impulses & Rainbow Divinity, Spellbound Chaos In Her Dilated Virginity, Intimate Enigmas Veiled In Shades Of Insanity, Makeshift Empathy Resonating Sympathy, Animated Specters Reflecting Crimson Streams, Oceans Tides Pulsating In Her Silent Screams, Static Reveries Of Her Cryptic Demise, Textured Amplifications Emanating Chronic Lies. - 03:04AM -*
0
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 5:40 PM UTC
****** Escapades & Moonlight Serenades
Inside the bunny suit my ears are still small and round, and percussive sounds come to visit me costumed in white muffles. Inside the bunny suit a bead of sweat itches my nose to rabbit fidget and wiggle-twitch where my fingers can’t reach it. Inside the bunny suit a thin layer of nylon dots inserts its silky self between me and everything I fumble to touch. Inside the bunny suit the outside world’s broken up by a half-dozen holes, and green strands fuzz the focus of each fragmented peep. Inside the bunny suit probing orange lights make kaleidoscope shapes through those same cut openings. They distract me. Inside the bunny suit I can smile at and feel closer to the fantastic creatures who surround me in their own decorous skins.
0
Dec 18, 2010
Dec 18, 2010 at 6:17 AM UTC
Bunny swallows owl
. Lovers entered a forbidden forest bower, And as they stalked that range, with eyes glazed, She offered up her hind. Now, with doe eyes, Deep as his, deep in arousal's sleep, heels fell, As he knocked and pulled her dark honey hair And whispered, surrender, into wanting ears, Softly he drove his hunting command, homing To his huntress. Her body braced, yet bade, with heat and vibrance. Ruthlessly, he ****** his arrow deeper and then Once more and then again.  She bucked fiercely And defiant, goading his prodding lance ever more Ever longer, and parting the pink lines of her white Rose, he was, and once again, Prince to the dark Dominion of her quarters. In the middle of this carnal match they paused. And looking into the forest beyond they saw A yearling fawn, a feral Goddess, grazing still, Bathing in a vale, virginal, wholly unmoved By their act of venery, lustfully playing, in the innocent Leaves.  It was as if they were among her kin, a gentle Doe and a noble stag. From that moment on The human hunters did not speak. Falling, again, rolling eyes were deep in arousal's sleep. Her back was a crescent moon pocked and wet with dew. He could feel her heart beating in time with his piercing Prong, her arching back glistened in the suns spittle As it broke through the dark and vernal ceiling wood. In the final shot her quivering buck lowered and broke And a sound not heard, made a scene, a sweet murmuring Shuddered and sank onto the floor of the forest leaves With her tale, taken and told, her breathless breath, Her nostrils cold and her heated and lanced openings Dripping, draining; here was a New World’s beginning. Sated, solemn and softly quaking, his woman sweetly laid, And now, doomed with her doe eyes, two lovers, fated, made; She glowed, divine, like the rolling brook that mellowed Slow, in the vine-dark and golden forest stable, In Artemis’s wood. .
0
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 2:50 PM UTC
In Artemis’s Wood
. Lovers entered a forbidden forest bower, And as they stalked that range, with eyes glazed, She offered up her hind. Now, with doe eyes, Deep as his, deep in arousal's sleep, heels fell, As he knocked and pulled her dark honey hair And whispered, surrender, into wanting ears, Softly he drove his hunting command, homing To his huntress. Her body braced, yet bade, with heat and vibrance. Ruthlessly, he ****** his arrow deeper and then Once more and then again.  She bucked fiercely And defiant, goading his prodding lance ever more Ever longer, and parting the pink lines of her white Rose, he was, and once again, Prince to the dark Dominion of her quarters. In the middle of this carnal match they paused. And looking into the forest beyond they saw A yearling fawn, a feral Goddess, grazing still, Bathing in a vale, virginal, wholly unmoved By their act of venery, lustfully playing, in the innocent Leaves.  It was as if they were among her kin, a gentle Doe and a noble stag. From that moment on The human hunters did not speak. Falling, again, rolling eyes were deep in arousal's sleep. Her back was a crescent moon pocked and wet with dew. He could feel her heart beating in time with his piercing Prong, her arching back glistened in the suns spittle As it broke through the dark and vernal ceiling wood. In the final shot her quivering buck lowered and broke And a sound not heard, made a scene, a sweet murmuring Shuddered and sank onto the floor of the forest leaves With her tale, taken and told, her breathless breath, Her nostrils cold and her heated and lanced openings Dripping, draining; here was a New World’s beginning. Sated, solemn and softly quaking, his woman sweetly laid, And now, doomed with her doe eyes, two lovers, fated, made; She glowed, divine, like the rolling brook that mellowed Slow, in the vine-dark and golden forest stable, In Artemis’s wood. .
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41
On the cobbled stone streets you lead me, as I walked with disbelief., on how beautiful this world I am seeing its your world, that's where I've been. Raised our voices, made our point, cursed in my sleep, I felt alone you were suddenly someone I despise until you changed your mood and made it right. Time passed by, some would say too short but I found out about all sorts of your craziness, I argue with my mind, I slept unhappy I even cried. I already saw that something in your eyes, Something's unstable but I said " well, I should try" I saw how you don't let small things pass sometimes you're happy sometimes you're mad. then you stepped into my floody world, ***** streets with sewer openings uncovered. Yes you did walked those streets with pure disgust, so opposite of the world you have. there were times when I felt we're far apart when spending time together was a job. your standards reaching past the treshold of all standards I should try to understand that you're a prince in a pauper disguise. Though hard I still wanted to see if you'll stay or  run away from me. I know its hard for you but you tried I am so happy that you  tried. your patience lost, my soul is hungry was it supposed to be like this? these little crumbles feeds my uncertainty, I beg you please stay high with me.
0
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
Two Worlds Apart
Did you know the East Indian Bottle Masala includes as many as 27 spices, or that an oil-free pickle served at their weddings is actually known as Wedding Pickle? These and many such authentic East Indian masalas and pickles are available at East Indian Cozinha (Portuguese for kitchen), a food store started by Christina Kinny at Kolovery Village in Kalina, Santacruz. "I started East Indian Cozinha with an attempt to preserve and highlight our cuisine and culture," says the 24-year old, who has studied Masters in Social Work and currently, works with an enterprise that helps tribal farmers. What’s in store? Going back 500 years, the East Indian cuisine enjoys influences from Portuguese, British and Maharashtrian fare. The staples include rice, coconut, tamarind, fish and meats, with spices forming an integral part of the cuisine. For instance, Prawn Atola is a dry dish comprising prawns coated only with Vindaloo Masala featuring Kashmiri chilli, cumin and turmeric. "Most people from our community were farmers and would be out on field all day. So, the masalas and lemon would help preserve their food for a longer time," reasons Kinny. At present, the store stocks six varieties of masala in 100g bottles (R150 onwards). These include Khuddi or Bottle Masala, Chinchoni (fish) Masala, Vindaloo Masala, Roast Rub, Kujit Masala and Tem Che Rose. She also offers Wedding Pickle, an oil-free variety prepared with raw papaya, carrots and dry dates. "All the recipes have been passed on from generations and are homemade," she informs. However, making the masalas is no cakewalk. "It takes three days to dry spices under the sun. Then, we hand pound them and pack them tightly in bottles with wider openings," says Kinny. She recalls that in her grandmother’s time, the masalas were tightly stuffed in beer bottles. The bottles were darker, and hence, helped preserve the masala for at least a year, at room temperature. Lugra love East Indian Cozinha also stocks traditional 10-yard saris known as lugras. These are hand embroidered by Kinny’s mother, Carol. Previously made only from cotton with authentic gold borders, now, lugras are embroidered with sequins and threads. "She has been in the garment industry for the last 30 years. She also makes traditional accessories like kapotas (earrings), karis (hair pins), anklets, etc," informs Kinny. read more:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses www.marieaustralia.com/short-formal-dresses
0
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 8, 2015 at 1:52 AM UTC
Buy East Indian wedding pickle in Kalina
Did you know the East Indian Bottle Masala includes as many as 27 spices, or that an oil-free pickle served at their weddings is actually known as Wedding Pickle? These and many such authentic East Indian masalas and pickles are available at East Indian Cozinha (Portuguese for kitchen), a food store started by Christina Kinny at Kolovery Village in Kalina, Santacruz. "I started East Indian Cozinha with an attempt to preserve and highlight our cuisine and culture," says the 24-year old, who has studied Masters in Social Work and currently, works with an enterprise that helps tribal farmers. What’s in store? Going back 500 years, the East Indian cuisine enjoys influences from Portuguese, British and Maharashtrian fare. The staples include rice, coconut, tamarind, fish and meats, with spices forming an integral part of the cuisine. For instance, Prawn Atola is a dry dish comprising prawns coated only with Vindaloo Masala featuring Kashmiri chilli, cumin and turmeric. "Most people from our community were farmers and would be out on field all day. So, the masalas and lemon would help preserve their food for a longer time," reasons Kinny. At present, the store stocks six varieties of masala in 100g bottles (R150 onwards). These include Khuddi or Bottle Masala, Chinchoni (fish) Masala, Vindaloo Masala, Roast Rub, Kujit Masala and Tem Che Rose. She also offers Wedding Pickle, an oil-free variety prepared with raw papaya, carrots and dry dates. "All the recipes have been passed on from generations and are homemade," she informs. However, making the masalas is no cakewalk. "It takes three days to dry spices under the sun. Then, we hand pound them and pack them tightly in bottles with wider openings," says Kinny. She recalls that in her grandmother’s time, the masalas were tightly stuffed in beer bottles. The bottles were darker, and hence, helped preserve the masala for at least a year, at room temperature. Lugra love East Indian Cozinha also stocks traditional 10-yard saris known as lugras. These are hand embroidered by Kinny’s mother, Carol. Previously made only from cotton with authentic gold borders, now, lugras are embroidered with sequins and threads. "She has been in the garment industry for the last 30 years. She also makes traditional accessories like kapotas (earrings), karis (hair pins), anklets, etc," informs Kinny. read more:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses www.marieaustralia.com/short-formal-dresses
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10
heart dormant riding forest green inspiring; soul seeking openings in vain searching spaces hollow ridden disdain; light fading belief remains wishing prevalent keep on discovering well of tame delight dreaming hoping tomorrow invite new insight.
0
Jun 30, 2010
Jun 30, 2010 at 10:45 AM UTC
a simple ride.
In the morning the mist arises but some will say it is yesterday's hubris. I dont have an attic to wayleigh communications or require windows to twitch gingham curtains so the deep chill void remains. A debutante passed by my uncut grass but she was no better served, a dream interview with ******* Club turned sour, this time of year. At least she hasn't endless dealership openings or humoured the word "exhilarating" in interviews when inventing a rich Stepfather. Like me there be few visitors. Thirty  stubborn years will pass but at least she know the meaning. The pride of the morning.
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Apr 24, 2012
Apr 24, 2012 at 4:11 PM UTC
Pride of the Morning
The urge to do nothing is overwhelming, compelling. I am motionless I find myself halted. Based upon a worry a waiting dominated by uncertainty. ​ I cannot go on I stretch the mind wander wonder of antidotes remedies delicious in the knowledge of their reduced life span. But not a cure. Openings brighten despite me, the ephemera of the street untouched, lilting on its arbor in its impetuous parade. ​(I think) I should not allow myself this dysania in the spaces between moments, lapses into stillness unforeseen. In the warm response of wire I ask for forgiveness. Trapped in my own gaze, it’s all I have. (the purity of sorrow) The floor pushes me skyward, I run my finger’s tip around the edge of the afternoon, Hope to god it rings out in response.
0
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 3:32 PM UTC
Pure
She is spontaneous poetry, no need to be written, a dam burst of emotions subtle,on what I float along, a whirlwind at an unpredictable time of the season looking for an intimate space to churn and churn and churn. By now, I know this without her even hinting, all her dark clouds will rain in torrents nonstop in to my landscape, sultry, broad and tranquil I am an open sky, a stage ready for changing realities a cloudless calm now in meditative expansiveness, ready to change from dark, cloudy turgidity to it's contrast, white feathery fluff that's dreamy. This time round, when she visited,she did lie naked on my bed supine, looking at me wistfully for a while in my mind's sky beams of morning sun criss- crossed all the nine openings of my body tightly shut, I sat meditating. But I felt her chaotic presence in the energy field spreading, she hurriedly removed her clothes one by one,smiling in the buff she alights on my lap,a butterfly on a flower was her, by and by a sweet heaviness enveloped my ***** in union with hers I hear the primordial boom of the big bang, refining as an "Om" travelling sans any medium it goes outwards to expanding universe. to the 1"Chidakasha" where everything begins and go beyond. Her storm energy, Tantric, seeks alleviation of existential pain, I hear my glowing inner eye whispering in  light to the far galaxies, In one form she is so much, past present and future converged, She is 2"Mahatripurasundari", great enchantress of the three worlds. Shakthi, the feminine energy that moves earth, heaven and hell, Kali, the dark energy, seeking sublimation through catharsis. On me she moves like a tortoise deliberately,my nervous system reads, She would defeat the hare and win the laurel, in yogic, trance I discern.
0
Nov 18, 2015
Nov 18, 2015 at 12:46 PM UTC
The tortoise, that wins the race, she is.
She is spontaneous poetry, no need to be written, a dam burst of emotions subtle,on what I float along, a whirlwind at an unpredictable time of the season looking for an intimate space to churn and churn and churn. By now, I know this without her even hinting, all her dark clouds will rain in torrents nonstop in to my landscape, sultry, broad and tranquil I am an open sky, a stage ready for changing realities a cloudless calm now in meditative expansiveness, ready to change from dark, cloudy turgidity to it's contrast, white feathery fluff that's dreamy. This time round, when she visited,she did lie naked on my bed supine, looking at me wistfully for a while in my mind's sky beams of morning sun criss- crossed all the nine openings of my body tightly shut, I sat meditating. But I felt her chaotic presence in the energy field spreading, she hurriedly removed her clothes one by one,smiling in the buff she alights on my lap,a butterfly on a flower was her, by and by a sweet heaviness enveloped my ***** in union with hers I hear the primordial boom of the big bang, refining as an "Om" travelling sans any medium it goes outwards to expanding universe. to the 1"Chidakasha" where everything begins and go beyond. Her storm energy, Tantric, seeks alleviation of existential pain, I hear my glowing inner eye whispering in  light to the far galaxies, In one form she is so much, past present and future converged, She is 2"Mahatripurasundari", great enchantress of the three worlds. Shakthi, the feminine energy that moves earth, heaven and hell, Kali, the dark energy, seeking sublimation through catharsis. On me she moves like a tortoise deliberately,my nervous system reads, She would defeat the hare and win the laurel, in yogic, trance I discern.
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30
The sun has long disappeared behind the stage I'm inspired and sweaty and feeling my age The amplifiers still ringing in my ears The smell of the Tagus draws in and I take my tired frame up winding streets The cafés are open. Piano music. Shoes on cobbles providing the beat Sat silently listening to the late urban shuffle, people appear from narrow openings between tired, tiled buildings Are the up late, are they up early? It's been a long day. A day of fleeting smiles. I think of you, and there's one more. This one lasts.
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Jul 16, 2019
Jul 16, 2019 at 8:06 PM UTC
Lisbon Now
When the warm sun, that brings Seed-time and harvest, has returned again, ’Tis sweet to visit the still wood, where springs The first flower of the plain. I love the season well, When forest glades are teeming with bright forms, Nor dark and many-folded clouds foretell The coming-on of storms. From the earth’s loosened mould The sapling draws its sustenance, and thrives; Though stricken to the heart with winter’s cold, The drooping tree revives. The softly-warbled song Comes from the pleasant woods, and colored wings Glance quick in the bright sun, that moves along The forest openings. When the bright sunset fills The silver woods with light, the green slope throws Its shadows in the hollows of the hills, And wide the upland glows. And when the eve is born, In the blue lake the sky, o’er-reaching far, Is hollowed out, and the moon dips her horn, And twinkles many a star. Inverted in the tide, Stand the gray rocks, and trembling shadows throw, And the fair trees look over, side by side, And see themselves below. Sweet April!—many a thought Is wedded unto thee, as hearts are wed; Nor shall they fail, till, to its autumn brought, Life’s golden fruit is shed.
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2.5k
An April Day
I feel as if there is no end to this life I know there may be many choices Openings, endings But I am stuck wondering which one is for me
0
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 7:00 AM UTC
a life changing choice
I couldn't seem to find where you had gone. The road narrowed down to a small passageway in the woods, getting lost in the crowds of trees surrounding it. I walked until my feet ached, until the gravel beneath my naked toes cut ****** rock sized openings into my skin. You were nowhere to be found, I realized that now, but I kept walking, as if each step could somehow guide me to you like a compass, pulling me in the right direction, promising an answer. I wanted to know where they had buried your body, where your still decaying bones lie a clean mess inside the earth, but I couldn't find it, I couldn't find where you had gone. The moon had once before, promised me a source of light, but now, it only provided a terrifying, crowding darkness. I wanted to lie underneath it, urging her out of the sky and onto me. I wanted something heavy to plunge me underground so I could worm myself to you, find the body that belonged more to me than it did, you. I just wanted you back, and if I couldn't even have that, than a piece of you to hold onto; something I could look at to know you were once a living being, once a boy I loved and always will. I walked back then, after allowing myself the refusing will to move on. In the impala, on an abandoned road, I pulled your cold blanket over my own decaying body, trying to wrap the ghost of you around me. Pushing my nose into the wool, I smelled the last remaining parts of you. I closed my eyes, not willing to imagine the small space where you should be, vacant. After all, how were you supposed to wake up there with me, when I was half gone myself?
0
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 17, 2017 at 3:17 PM UTC
the last remaining parts of you.
I couldn't seem to find where you had gone. The road narrowed down to a small passageway in the woods, getting lost in the crowds of trees surrounding it. I walked until my feet ached, until the gravel beneath my naked toes cut ****** rock sized openings into my skin. You were nowhere to be found, I realized that now, but I kept walking, as if each step could somehow guide me to you like a compass, pulling me in the right direction, promising an answer. I wanted to know where they had buried your body, where your still decaying bones lie a clean mess inside the earth, but I couldn't find it, I couldn't find where you had gone. The moon had once before, promised me a source of light, but now, it only provided a terrifying, crowding darkness. I wanted to lie underneath it, urging her out of the sky and onto me. I wanted something heavy to plunge me underground so I could worm myself to you, find the body that belonged more to me than it did, you. I just wanted you back, and if I couldn't even have that, than a piece of you to hold onto; something I could look at to know you were once a living being, once a boy I loved and always will. I walked back then, after allowing myself the refusing will to move on. In the impala, on an abandoned road, I pulled your cold blanket over my own decaying body, trying to wrap the ghost of you around me. Pushing my nose into the wool, I smelled the last remaining parts of you. I closed my eyes, not willing to imagine the small space where you should be, vacant. After all, how were you supposed to wake up there with me, when I was half gone myself?
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40
Even cloudy days are beautiful, When I'm standing here, close to you. While the cold rain is falling, I see the bright sunshine, Sparkling in your dark eyes, Seeing cherry blossoms blooming all around you, Even cloudy days are enjoyable, When I'm holding you in my arms. When I look at gray skies, Finding the blue openings between the clouds, I always know hope exists. Hoping to see a flicker of memory, Filled with sunshine of you and me, Loving so deeply.
 Cloudy days do not concern me, As long as you are standing here, Happily next to me. Copyright © 2016 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.
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Sep 11, 2016
Sep 11, 2016 at 12:47 PM UTC
Cloudy Days
The worst thing, most insidious thing about trauma is that it doesn’t matter what anyone does, in the end, everything is, (must be, has to be) your fault. Trauma is a voice: *you should have known, you should have done more, you should have stood up for yourself, what is wrong with you, do you want to be miserable, why did you trust, don’t you ever learn?* Trauma is you watching you watching what you do, watching what you don’t do, watching it all go by. Trauma is a voice: *do something do something do something.* Trauma is screaming at a pre-taped football game, expecting a different outcome. Trauma is begging the fictional character to not open the door when there is clearly a killer waiting. Trauma is the hole you keep finding yourself in, whether or not you see it, maybe you fall in, maybe you dive in, it doesn’t make a difference. Trauma is painful - repeated openings of the same wounds, hitting a bruise again, again, again, watching the colors change - but mostly, it’s an embarrassment. Trauma is a voice: *This is fine. You can’t tell. This is fine. You can’t tell. This is fine. You can’t tell.* Trauma is your best kept secret. Trauma is the kind of ****** up that can’t be named, can’t be explained. Trauma is the kind of ****** up that is too deep to be fixed. Trauma is who you are.
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Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 3:17 PM UTC
Trauma
I love the brilliant frenzied         stillness Earth rotating, an opaque of         beaded matters The buckling transfixiated            openings of bleeding      ground. Blue green brown blood     teeming with movement disconnecting features     rapt in water       and other lives   repeating, inserting     maelstroms of thought.
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Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 5:38 AM UTC
brilliant frenzied stillness
*baby in the crib, turns closed eyes into dream-light young boy at the window, eyes on the calf woman with the cow, flies milling around the eyes* 1. every morning, with a penchant for rising before his hour            he stands, sees the calf at the wooden-fence            watches with the fawn-coloured beauty of sea-shell heartbeat.. the rising-eye while his sister, nearly a young-woman, washes dishes with eyeballs out the tiny-window            heifer passes by and he looks straight into eyes – gentle eyes – soothes calamity 2. in the cold morning on the farmstead, the baby curls in its warm-folds      she chases off the flies from the horns      and cleans gummed-openings yet deity’s crown falls from splendour this day       as moments devoured by need eventually bear witness to warm dripping in the sand the bowl is filled                                            (high-scale horror) and the boy has seen it, too he holds his arms round him to stop the wholesale-shaking.. bites down hard      as his face contorts baleful.. in impotent-anger      his silence bought decades ago.. in another life no price on his shock and the bird on the branch flies off.. glint-eyes on another branch it’s that time once again: she takes the old-cow to town they await her before nightfall she never does return 3. I’m begging you         leave it be, this is how it is go pick up the baby, please (the baby won’t stop crying) *your fences, I’ll rip up your fences with your very own whip while them wolves howl on and on I got oppressive-time to suffer your unmatched-law in the crush-of-daylight now, kindly.. get outta my face!* S T – 22 Jan 2014
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Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 9:51 AM UTC
The Calf at the Wooden-Fence
*baby in the crib, turns closed eyes into dream-light young boy at the window, eyes on the calf woman with the cow, flies milling around the eyes* 1. every morning, with a penchant for rising before his hour            he stands, sees the calf at the wooden-fence            watches with the fawn-coloured beauty of sea-shell heartbeat.. the rising-eye while his sister, nearly a young-woman, washes dishes with eyeballs out the tiny-window            heifer passes by and he looks straight into eyes – gentle eyes – soothes calamity 2. in the cold morning on the farmstead, the baby curls in its warm-folds      she chases off the flies from the horns      and cleans gummed-openings yet deity’s crown falls from splendour this day       as moments devoured by need eventually bear witness to warm dripping in the sand the bowl is filled                                            (high-scale horror) and the boy has seen it, too he holds his arms round him to stop the wholesale-shaking.. bites down hard      as his face contorts baleful.. in impotent-anger      his silence bought decades ago.. in another life no price on his shock and the bird on the branch flies off.. glint-eyes on another branch it’s that time once again: she takes the old-cow to town they await her before nightfall she never does return 3. I’m begging you         leave it be, this is how it is go pick up the baby, please (the baby won’t stop crying) *your fences, I’ll rip up your fences with your very own whip while them wolves howl on and on I got oppressive-time to suffer your unmatched-law in the crush-of-daylight now, kindly.. get outta my face!* S T – 22 Jan 2014
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We have let go of our frantic lust for the shiny metal in the Sacramento hills. It was hard for my grandfather, in coming west on horse and with wagon, dragging a family across the pimpled skin of the young land, to help John Sutter build his new empire. He then found that his dream of good land for ranching was subverted with easy gold. Grandfather’s first home on the bank of the river: a tule hut, or grass hut, left behind by Mi-wuk Indians, who wandered with the elk and circulated with the wonderment of passing stars; no regard for what shined beneath them. It’s in the luring poems and the stories that the old California adventure comes back to us. No one longer builds much with grass, and cannot so easily pick out fortunes by following the earth’s deep cracks. Some would walk away from jobs and cities, bulging packs strapped on shoulders, and head up through the openings and narrowings of the valleys, and into the foothills of the Sierras. Camp beside ****** trout holes and dip into the riffled water at the edge of perfect green mirrors: to find what is precious and become free from the cycle of the frantic lust.
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Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 10:15 AM UTC
Gold Rush
Bouncers can only stop and stare, maybe get involved when their contract states they've got to care, but up to that line they wait on doorstops and thresholds, looking for kisses from the makeup clad gold. Smokers swell in the sea mist of the open smoking area, they talk ideas and travel plans, wave to no one hoping they'll wave back again. The bar men, the bar women and the cloakroom attendants sing along to the songs under tired, muttered breaths, hoping the depth of the queue subsides into something more serviceable. And after? Young ones with freshly ironed faces **** into gutters and speak in half-rhyme stutters, Morse code flutters that translate into nothing more than, another beer please. They yell as if they own the sky, keep their echoes on rope tied to the openings of back alleyways, showing to her and her and her and him, his best friend, that he's the drunkest of them all.
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Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 11:00 AM UTC
Dress Up to Come Back Home Again
Wake in dirt from bone and copper.  Collect facts from years ago.  Remember openings and close those beginning.  Breathe to fill the day.  Counting hairs alone.    Float and feel my blood dance else away.    She asks for the gaze as my eyes give focus inward.  Wrapped in showmanship and loneliness.  These rings bond and the form begins tumbling.  Create lift and heal all waters swollen.
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Oct 1, 2014
Oct 1, 2014 at 4:46 PM UTC
Earrings.