This is strange but I think you are my sister

I don’t want a anything from you except maybe if you’d like to chat sometime

Hi, I’ve always wondered about you too.

If I had meant that much to you
You’d have made a way to see it through
A plan to try and keep me yours
But that subject… still a little sore
So, I’ll venture out and close that door
Because I was living long before
And now I’m free to live some more
                      Just without you

Sit bones ache on the dampened ground
A nest in the thicket where I’m sat down
Untended grass blocks my silhouette
Spring whispers freshly across my dress.
Sun raising blush to speckled skin
Imagining the heat of your breath again
Magpies scouring for succulent feast  
Reasons and trials threaten our peace   
The valleys and hills
The joys and the thrills
I’ll go back tomorrow to be with you
If only in a daydream

You wanted me to stay
I ran.  I pushed away.
(That’s how you’ll remember.)
To shift the blame
And ease the pain
That’s all you’re gonna say?  

I chose me
but you chose you.
The us of us no longer grew.
Threw years away
waiting for you.
(That’s how I’ll remember.)

You were afraid.
I held on too tight.
And knew too late.
How short my sight!
I am not your person.  

3 am! A restless groan,
Lays brick by brick
Surrounds heart of stone
I think I choose to be alone.
I’ll never love again…
Not ever.

Not part of your heart,
I’m not your muse.
Just things you said.
Just words you used.

And years from now
Dreams not well played out
No one will remember.

I picked up the rock like you asked me to
Put in my pocket to remind me of you
If I could load up these pockets with rocks and feel
Your fingertips, parted lips, our chastity unsealed
Then I’d wander around town with pebbles falling down
From torn pockets leaving clues
The crumbs left there no bird can declare
A permanent path, a map from me to you
When the last pebble drops to the ground
I’ll clear the land and set myself down
And I’ll wait in that spot till I see
Your face alight at our first sight
Our bodies embrace finally.

There was a thunderstorm
In London the night the coroner called.

I flew to California to make sense of it all.

You were afraid of the high dive just the year before.

Last night spread your wings,  stepped off the ledge to soar.

You played with rocks as a child and prayed to them as an adult.

The ring you wore for protection,  Sorry it didn’t work.

But you will be forever young the way you did predict

And I’ll be haunted by the imagery of how you left

I will spread the dust of you in the places where you found some peace.

The hardest will be our elephant shaped tree. Where we played in the creek.

You believed what the demons told you. But I know the truth.
You were loved and my heart is broken. I will grow old without you