Smile in the face of adversity
while inside it takes the best of me
tragedy has become my new reality
Inside its cold, my heart frozen
I sleep on a hundred roses while hanging on a thousand crosses
my past meets my future
beauty and pain all sound the same
they all die together
I vanish along with them
Serenade me with pleasure and sweet harmony
as I die a bitter death
dying to find out who I am supposed to be
Looking in the mirror as I face my worst enemy
Inside its cold and Ice seems warm to me

Who knew love came by someone tapping your picture twice,
on a small screen
While scrolling down a wall full of other pictures

Look at all these likes and comments
So many compliments

30 likes makes you mediocre
2,000+ likes makes you a star
Instant gratification
Instant modeling
Instant attention
Instant satisfaction
But you end up with an ego full of empty compliments

I wrote this piece while trying to solve a riddle
different color of emotions like a bag of skittles
feeling yellow, green, purple but then end up feeling blue
they ask me who I am I say I have no clue
so they read my words and find me in my poetry
unpredictable I am, blind to false emotions
and numb to true intention
I choose to see the world with my third vision
love me now or fall victim to my words which leave you guessing
stuck in a maze I am amazed, at the pace my past loved my past
repeated emotions like my love had no intention
in class for 27 years and still haven't learned my lesson
Asking for more but subjected to be less then

In these rivers lays unclaimed tears
Dead hopes, strangled ropes
Body parts left to float
Minds that ignored hope and faith
While hanging onto fear and distress

In these rivers
Also lays the sins of forgiven sinners
Baptized in the Holy Spirit
Sanctified and cleansed from all of their sins
In these rivers lays new bodies
Minds that surrendered pain, anxiety, stress and depression, to God almighty
these rivers heal, these rivers revel
These rivers are what we make them
Salvation or pain choose one

We can not forget that the same waters that saved Moses and his people
killed the Egyptian solders
The same waters that floated Moses to Pharaohs Daughter
Almost drowned Peter when he doubted

What God uses to save you
Could be what he also uses to destroy
Those who come after you
Trust him when he has you facing your river

I was happy when I was told that I would have another bedroom
One more room, more toys, more chances to make noise
More everything, more fun
But all of a sudden I lost my joy  
These parents of mine, decided it was time
Time for what? Time to call it a quite
Mom cant stop crying
Dad knows he crossed the line
He has been lying, she has been lying
They both have been lying about the love the they claim to have
In my young world, I blame myself like I was the one who caused the separation
I cry in desperation for this not to happen  
I know that for the rest of my life I will feel unwanted, forgotten and worthless
Treated like property, shared on weekdays and weekends
Shipped like merchandise  
I sleep in two beds
Now I realize that more is bad, more leaves me sad
More hurts my mom and dad
More destroyed our house
On holidays we argue, aren't those supposed to be happy days  
Now Christmas is considered fight night
Since my parents have been divorced
I have felt like I have been cursed
When they separated they did it out of spite and hate
Now to court I go, so they can debate custody
One argues that the other is unfit to take care of me
Now I feel like I have made them enemies
As they treat me like property
I feel like I am not loved properly

I don't want to be a place card in your book
I want to be a chapter
That makes you wonder
I want to be a chapter
That makes you go deeper
I want to be a chapter
That makes you feel blessed to be a lover

I wrote you a poem
But I ran out of words to describe your beauty
So this my love, is all I have to say

You are the greatest sight I have ever laid my eyes on..

To you my heart belongs

Justice is just is
never changing always broken
the powerful get rewarded the weak get mistreated
morality gets wounded and then healed by fake promises
we gave justice eyes
because it seems to only serve those with lighter pigmentation
hidden in webs of lies, truth is not to be mentioned
justice is just is because no one wants to rightfully serve it

I’m in between too young to die and too old to live
So I’m just living
Too wild to tame, too tame to be wild
Stuck in between
Stuck in this illusion called life
So I’m just living
If you find my purpose please tell It I’ve been looking for it all of my life
Until then I’ll just keep living

Our eyes meet
As our souls meet

This is fate
Could you handle this weight
Heavy burden, consumed of pain
A bleeding heart and a lonely soul
Will you fall for it all,
or will you love me and leave me
Like the rest of them
Running away from my pain
Taking my love for granted
Then coming back crying
Saying I'm all they ever wanted

By then I would of created a wall
Which my insecurity helped me build
Just so I can find my own security
Don't give me love promoted by ambiguity
I need to be sure
if you and me were meant to be

Hate filled minds
Living life in rewind
Drunk on the future so they wine
Crying about a past that had them powerful
Praying on hate and killing others less superior
Hating themselves for being more infrior
Hiding behind religion, saying it's God they serving,
what God you know condones killing, hating, and oppression

They serve a God with no vision
Wearing capes to hide their ambiguous faces
Yelling that they hate all races
These are the same co-workers who say they love all races
But behind closed doors
Pray to burning torches

I know you know
I know how it feels to know the real you
you know
No one else will ever know
The real you we both know

Water flows in the heart that knows
Pride inflated chest, humility hasn’t shot him yet
Walking around with a lighter nose
Heaven knows where egos go
When pride is demoralized to its lowest low
Live life like a fool
always want to know more
A hungry scholar will educate his mind
To study ancient history
Because even he knows, he knows nothing at all
To avoid the fall
he needs to know about those who fell before  
Knowledge is power and ignorance takes it away weakening the soul, forcing you to fall
So which will you feed more?
your humility or your ego

                                                               ­        - Tuffy M

Chasing big dreams
While flirting with nightmares
Don’t you know that these scars
created an ocean full of tears
I drown in my own emotions
While conversing with depression
Anxiety taps me on my shoulder
While shooting down my ego
Pride it forces me to let go
Empty I feel
while holding on to the place where my heart used to go, chasing a fix
While my mentality is broken to pieces
Looking for peace while drowning in agony

Rain drops amaze her
The sound of Gods tears hitting the ground
Make her wonder what is he crying about

A thousand Hearts chase after her
But she still claims I am the one

Deep breath as she tells me she is my lover
I pray to God to never lose her
For if I do, that will be the last time I breath

Late at night when my eyes can’t close
I lay awake thinking of you
Wondering if you are awake too
The price I would pay to see you
Is beyond limitless
Time is supposed to be the healer to old wounds
but this one is Permanent
It even has a dent in it

This one is deep
You left me with a hole in my chest
Now I stare at an empty soul
Looking at these empty walls
Flirting with empty thoughts
While memories creep into my mind
Just to stop and remind me
That my heart is now empty
and drowns in flaws

If you knew your worth
You wouldn’t keep begging him to stay
You would find a way
To be happy
Find beauty in being alone
Remember you lived before you knew him
You will live after you forget him
Stop feeding his ego and remember your emotions need attention too

Lost in a forest full of tourist
Searching for peace
where I can replace hell with heaven
Grown catapillars dance in my belly
As I flirt with anxiety
Fear and death come to comfort me
I guess misery loves company
That’s why pain won’t ever let me be
It needs me in order for it to exist

I am not afraid of what I can be
I am afraid of what you could be without me

I held you back, because I felt you needed me
But in reality you were always free to be who you wanted to be
What scared me the most was knowing that You would be ok without me

You better love her more than I love her
Heal all her scars
Speak to her insecurities
Be her security
Show her loyalty
Respect and honor who she wants to be

I raised her
now it's your turn to raise her beautiful gifts
Love them and cherish them
Embrace them and adore them

Love her and she will love you more
She will never let you go

Know that your written words echo in my soul
They touch my heart and never let go
Leaving fingerprints
evidence that you moved my heart and exposed my deepest emotions
Thank you for sharing your passion
Through your passion I found a voice in my silence, knowing that you have spoken
I need your words like a heartbeat
I pray to never stop breathing
as long as you keep writing

You lied to me
     To lay with me
              I gave you me
                          But you abandoned me

Closed me in a box you dug me six feet under
My soul left to wonder

I was a dream you turned into a nightmare
I thirst in pain, now I drown in my own tears
I gave you my fears
you turned around and sharpend your spears

You Couldn't love me
so you turned me into an unlovable being

Titled me
crazy,
obsessed,
dangerous,
insecure,
and insane

But yet you fear losing me
because I was the drug to your pain

Lie to me
Tell me that you love me

At least this way I know you are
Telling the truth

I’m addicted to your existence
My love is deeply rooted in your heart
When I die bury me next to your ashes

This way your love could arise and reincarnate
In my soul as my lover who never left me

To live and not have loved is a tragedy
So if you are going to love the best of me
learn to also welcome the worst of me
Because as you fight your insecurities, I fight my dreams to never end

I fight to never wake from this lifelong fantasy

Poetry is like a tree
It faces all four seasons
But yet it still finds a reason to keep standing

So if you have words that should be spoken
I urge you to please keep writing
Your words just might keep me from dying
Whisper love in my aching soul
Stitch my broken heart, protect me from this everlasting fall, and these never ending emotions which I can’t control

No matter what you do
You can never live in tomorrow

So why not live in today
Embrace the moment right now

For if tomorrow is given to you
You will lose its intention by trying to live for the day that is unknown

We live in a world which requires tragedy for us to appreciate unity
Changes socially forcing conformity
Murderers gain popularity for acts of brutality
its sad to see the world lack empathy
while great people face scrutiny for caring about humanity  
we live in a world that reads less books and more eulogies

A dream a nightmare
All sound the same
Both can make you go insane
Both force you to endure pain
So give me that pen
Let me write what’s within
If it doesn’t please your eyes
Look from within to truly understand

I love you so much
I love you
Love you
You!!!

She knew she lost a king
When all she had around her
were slaves acting like kings
Loving her body instead of her soul
Spoiling her with money and material things
instead of dressing her finger with Gold
Force feeding her fantasy
instead of creating a better reality
Her heart in pieces
she left them all to go love herself again
In loving herself she found herself a king
Willing to take her in
Wounded and destroyed
He vowed to make sure she never cried again

The devil lied
when he told your heart
that it will never find love again
You found me and now you are my everything

Love costs a fee
When it comes to love nothing is free
We are all incarcerated by emotions we can’t control
Tears that always want to pour
Hearts that skip beats like a child hopping over puddles
Stuck in a love riddle
we can never solve
Eventually we become free
But the price of freedom with love
Leads to lonely hearts
Sleepless nights
Nervousness fornicates with the mind
As it births doubt, pain and emotional torture
Regretting why you over drafted on love
by loving longer, hurting longer
What you fought for you have no longer

When it comes to love...
One day we are running away from it
The next day we are running to it

Sometimes it kills us
Other times it heals us

But no matter where we go
love will always find us

Loving you is like poetry
It never seems to end

I metaphorically fell for you spontaneously
I found your analogies of love to be lovley
Your words tore my emotions down
And you discovered the real me

By now most would flee
but you stayed and fell for the real me

If love is poetry
then you know
you would have to rhyme with me
You are my headache and my therapy
My Sad and happy

My one and only

Love me as bad as you want to breath
When I am weak I pray you keep me strong
Correct me when I am wrong
Real love is not perfect
It is broken pieces of glass molded together to make a vessel full of promises and wishes
My greatest wish is for you to never stop breathing

For as long as you breath
I know you will always love me

You are beautiful
Not because I see you
But because my soul feels every part of you

I am a product of your strongest and weakest emotion

I go as your heart beat goes, I flow like a stream of blood through your veins,
you have captivated my heart and brain
for you my soul will go insane,
love me now and tomorrow
through love, pain and all of life’s sorrow

Be my light and shinning amour, let this light always shine even in our darkest hour

If you have loved you have lost
If you have lost you have loved
Love is an emotional sacrifice made every day
The giving of oneself to gain another
Lover O lover
Please lose yourself to me
So you could be mine forever
For I want to be your joy and fantasy
Your smile and reason to be happy
Lover O Lover don't you see what you have done to me

My hands left marks on your body
I never meant to leave marks on your body!!
Place pain on your body
I see you cry, but I sit in darkness lonely
You were my veins to my dark heart
Now My soul is aching my heart is breaking
I feel your body shaking
fear comforts you and misery wipes your tears
twisted you are, emotions expressed while my fists pressed on your face
leaving prints
with every hit, I get a flashback to when I was a child and powerless
this is dark words, poetry through the eyes of an abuser
a heart user, emotion killer, love hater, pain enforcer
it is I who dares to care
I hurt you before
why do you return to me like a wrong address placed on an envelope
coming back for more
like the first time wasn't enough
poetry through the eyes on an abuser who was once a victim
I guess pain is just a cycle, what we feel is what we give
Inflicting pain is my only way of letting you know I love you
Love through the eyes of an Abuser

While trying to write you a poetry piece
My mind found peace
It’s been a while since I let my words touch your soul, so here I go

Every time I think of your existence
I feel your presence
I smell your fragrance and my mind races
To a place where only lovers go
Lately I’ve lost my mind there and I don’t expect to find it anytime soon

Loving you is a blessing
all these years it’s you, my soul has been missing
I write to you these words so that your soul could listen to my whisper
Oh dear lover can you feel me touching your heart, holding it ever so gently
Everyday my heart challenges my soul to love you deeper, and to love you longer
Holding on to hope, trusting that this bond will grow stronger and love forever