I got a weak lung
and you got this charm
that captivated  me
when you clutched your cigar
between your perfect teeth
and began puffing
nicotine smoke

'it won't **** you'
you said
as you repeatedly inhale
the poison
embracing it
with your lungs

I've tasted your lips
smoky, cool
when we kissed
how blissful

I asked why
you do it
you said
'to **** demons'
I pointed to
your head
'but they're up there'
I said,
and you
called me a smart ***
and then
kissed me
again

you told me that
you love me

but

I knew

that you don't

cause

I got a weak lung
and yours are strong

but that's not bravery

cause bravery
is
quitting it for me

I'm selfish, am I?

The misty fog outside,
condenses into a speckled bedroom glass.  

Through which,
nestled deep under the blanket,
I hear the orchestra of a rainy 8am life.  

Bothered by the unconducted iso-rhythms
of dripping water droplets,
dropping onto the metal window sill,
I peak my head out from under the duvet
and yawn out the stale air from my lungs.  

I notice the coffee left for me
on the bedside table before she left.  
I grasp the warm little blue cup.  

I hear the birds in the trees somewhere below
warming up their sleepy little lungs.  

I close my eyes and feel the cold air
through the window.  
Hiding under my duvet,
I drift back to sleep.

The lungs of who you are betray the bones of what you've become.
I could keep you in my hands for as long as I can hold my breath,
but that feels too long.

You're trapped around the grave of the person you wanted to find in me.
I can't be her for you.
Even for one night.
I can't be here for you.

You know it's true that your hands are tied between two more.
I'm not with you anymore.
I got the last laugh now you deal with what comes.

You miss talking,
and my ears don't miss being talked to.
You wish this was different,
and I do to.
You still don't want change,
but my bones are broken, and through them I feel my lungs.

I feel chained to the couch
Mourning something bigger than me
And once I turned off the background noise of the tv
I felt my lungs collapse with it
never have i felt so hollow
and swarmed with silence
until this moment.

The words that
                               d
                                  r
                          ­    i
                            p

off your serpentine tongue
dissolves the flesh            r
                                     u    n      n
                                  b         i        g
my lungs

breathless gasping at fetid air
reckless in this never ending nightmare
derelict and disrepair
death wish traveling nowhere
except
            D
            O
            W
            N

under­ a mound of stone and flowers
twirling aimless in  buffet showers
leaving flesh devoured

by passionate winds  
soul left caged in

self-indulging bones

left to wither to dust
this is the final price
of a wandering lust
a real fool's paradise

I can feel them cracking,
Breaking under the pressure
of all your lies
and forgotten promises.
The weight of all
the things I couldn't say,
is crushing them,
Burying them in hurt.
I can feel them dying.
With each sob,
and every smoke.
I can't live like this forever.

My chest is way too tight,
My lungs can't move to breathe,
And I can't stop telling myself,
They wouldn't notice if I leave.
Their lives would continue on the same,
I'm just a mess in their way,
And no matter how hard I try,
I can't think of one reason to stay.
Maybe a few would miss me,
One or two at most,
But they will forget and move on,
Overlook the kid who overdosed.