i would leave home for days
no one would ever ask where i was at
it began to feel as if i could just disappear
without a sound, without a word
no one would come searching for me
maybe that's why i've become so obsessed
with this idea of dying

i don't want to have a face
and i don't want to have a name
i want to crumble away
i want to be free of this brain
i want to forget all that was, and is
i want to cease to exist
so that i may live

We make up somewhere to belong
And graves to disappear in.

And right when we think we're free.
We become new born trees.


--Eleanor Rigby

I so often wish I could find a cottage garden home
and hang just the right curtains,
plant beautiful flowers
take leisurely hot, steaming baths and showers
never again leave to go work in the grind
of dealing with customers
who have seemingly lost their minds...
just give me a cottage garden home
a few books to read
where my mind can roam
and allow me the quietness and solitude
just some peace and quiet -- shhh!!!
no, I'm not trying to be rude--
it's just that all day long I hear grumbling
I hear complaints galore
and my job is such that I can't ignore
the craziness of the public tis all too true--
so I really do NEED that garden cottage home
to escape and run away to...

you're alive but you're a ghost
because you're in my head
but i don't see you anymore

I'm just a face for every picture,
Just a memory in your head.
Just that girl you won't remember,
Not a word I ever said..
I'm just a whisper in the wind,
Just a cold place in your heart.
Youll never remember me,
Though I was here from the start.
I'm a cold chill runnin up your spine,
Faint voice with a familiar song. .
I'm a shadow in the darkest night,
The one who was there when things went wrong.
Just a piece of broken art,
The footsteps in the snow.
The puzzle piece that doesnt fit,
But thats something you dont know.

Pay me no attention,
I'm just that dumb little girl,
Who couldn't seem to find her place,
In this messed up little world.

so if they come looking for my body
don't tell them where i hid it
and if they ask where i was last seen
don't tell them it was by the river
and if they ask what happened
tell them that it never even mattered