will you ever stop haunting me?
i toss and turn at nights.
will i ever forget the way you looked at me in the mornings?
i cry the second i think of your eyes.
will you ever stop tormenting me?
my heart drops every time your name lights up my phone.
will you realize the damage you've done to me?
deep down, i understand your mind isn't able to process or accept what you did.

i wish you would disappear and that i never knew you.
i pray i forget your face, your touch, your name each day.
instead of you disappearing, i find that the woman i once knew is gone and all is left is not even a little girl, but just her shadow.

I felt invisible today
How I dance around words and refuse to inch towards my door
How words fall onto my lap, only to be wiped away by my shaking hands

I felt lonely today
How best friends make pinky swears and how all I can keep safe is the gold cross on my neck
I pray to him and ask, God, let me love again

I felt.. Sad;
The kind of sadness that rolls over in bed ever so often
But will never leave
The one that despite my tugging at the feet
Only sinks even deeper into my being

But most of all
I felt nothing
I didn't feel the breeze as I tiptoed my way into being what my Mother calls 'normal'
Or the hot water I envied, how amazing it would be
To simply
Just
Evaporate.

He looked across the boardwalk into the inalienable ocean.
Love danced upon the cresting waves.
The sound of a quantum leap stretched thousands of miles.
A piece of him was still with her.

She looked across the boardwalk with another.
Pain no longer had a home within her golden hair.
She had withstood time, it's waves began again.
His need showcased in the night sky, to her horror.

Deadly, their entanglement remains after being long forgotten.
Poison gas reaches into his head, the same gas rots her mind.
Toxic people and corrosive words melt their being.
Condemned to the hell he calls home.

Pull and push, he pushes on, she pulls away.
He continues his war march into this nethermost dwelling.
She escapes into the day, burning at its torrid sunlight.
He destroy her mind, She prolongs his pain.

In the end, they're just two toxic people in love.
Never to see each other again.

if she was gone
would you go looking for her?
if she disappeared
would you search the thin air?
if you never saw her body again
would you still remember how it felt
within your hands
until you are dead?

This written from a dead soul inside a living body
A body that looks healthy
Feet that could walk a mile
Hands soft to touch but looked rough on the outside
A heart as big and open as a hollowed out tree
Shoulders that could hold millions of tears or the weight of the world
A face that looks happy
A smile that people won't forget
Eyes that are the key to the heart
A brain bigger and smarter than anything on this earth
Hair that flowed with the winds, howling silence
When in reality
A body that's dying
Feet that we're gonna fall off
Hands that were covering the face every night
Her heart is surrounded by an unbreakable barrier
Shoulders that would ache
A red face that was sad everyday and night
A smile that would turn to a frown
Eyes that could cry the Pacific Ocean  
A brain that couldn't comprehend things said to her
Hair that was pulled out piece by piece

What was it?
How could she look so good on the outside but horrible on the inside?
Was it because of people and their judge mouths?
Was it because of people who couldn't keep their opinions to themselves ?
Was it the people who knew how to love but never did?
Was it the people who told her to physically commit suicide
It was the people who said She wasn't worth it
It was the people who said she would never have someone
It was the people who had something to say about her everyday
It's was the people who said or acted like they loved her but in reality just loved her for her brain
It was love that came knocking at her door but would disappear when she got to the door
It was the people what knocked her down time and time again
She had no time to get up
She had no time to think
She had no time to fix all of her mistakes
She had to time to turn into someone else

Where is she know?
She's still in that living body
She's still crying an ocean
She is still hiding
She is still guarding her soul and heart
She is still dying
She is still trying
But those eyes that contained the ocean,is running dry
The brain is growing smaller
The body is giving up
The shoulders are weak
The hands are broken and can't fight anymore
The walls that once guarded her heart are still there, but there's no heart beating within the wall
The smile is gone
Her eyes all dried up and tired of trying
All that's left is the living and the dead soul
And soon she doesn't even thing a living body will be there either
But ask yourself, is there truly a living body if the soul isn't alive?