Tonight I watched the sun melt
fall into the sea and wash away
the beauty in the sky
meant nothing to me


I was tired
of so many painful hours
of dark days
watery eyes
and tear stained cheeks


This unwelcome story
how will it end?
And where is the memory
of when it began?


What day was it
when everything changed?
When the right to be cheerful
was no longer granted


When the morning comes
the dark will be present still
as dark as the days before
senseless moments
playing games within
jumbled
mixed up
spinning in slow backward circles
as my mind trips lightly over itself
again and again
over and over
and all before me there is
nothing


I will run as fast as I can
because it's all I know
my familiar friend
my hideous buddy
my mocking dark day pal


I’ll run until my breath is extinguished
outsmarting my chasing dragon
of shadows
decades past
of the deepest black night


Nothing follows me
but still I run
to find freedom
to dig for gold
from under the elusive rainbows


But always
I run alone
just me running from I


Drained
hollow
numb
a plain empty jar


It’s time to lay down my fears
leave my senses to rest
I’ve run too much
too long
too hard



Time to tell the dragon
his time is up
acknowledge the empty space
that lingers behind me
and be grateful for being alone


I will sit and wait for the sun
revel in the beauty of the sky
resurrect those things
that have long been dead to me


Wait for the light inside
for the radiance to be felt
to be seen
be understood
and once again become my friend


Slow
but sure
I return to myself

I'd like to wake up tomorrow
and find everything
has changed
to know the road
I'm travelling
is the right one
not yet another turning
down a dark lonely lane
leading somewhere
or nowhere

I'd like to wake up
know that regrets
weeping and pathetic fear
will never haunt me again
I want them all erased
so I can walk out the door
a shiny new me

There was a time
when I knew
that prayers
and miracles
were not illusions
when I lived and breathed
a life we should all have

I owned it all
it lived in me
until something evil came
and stole it all away
vultures
monsters
of the darkest place
picked it clean off my bones
and left me
forever tending wounds

I want to wake up tomorrow
and find
I'm no longer tired
of being tired
put my feet firmly on the ground
and find it takes me
on a whole new path
where vultures and monsters
have no right to be
and every road
takes me home

Leaves are turning
slow but sure
losing their grip
all their chapters closing

Can’t help feeling
this was how
we faded too

But
there is always spring

The evidence
of the end
isn’t always true

Let the binding fall to the ground
those things that once were you
let them drop as late leaves
see how easy they go
no resistance
no return
that is how it is
that is how letting go can be

When all you were has passed
you will laugh wearing your new skin
proud… with sunbeams in your eye
miraculously… today
you entirely cast off your old self

There’s a drawer
somewhere
metaphorically

With all the stories
i’ve yet to write

Temporarily
i seem to have
lost the key