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545 · Dec 2017
i can: flip a switch
i can:

flip a switch
just for you;
sometimes i do,
forget how to

flip a switch;
one day it's on,
then it's off,
and i am gone.

i get lost
when in love;
lose myself
to some kind of

dark energy
taking hold of me;
flip it off
then i am free.

something inside
tugging away,
causing me
to toss and sway -

with so many
wordly distractions,
and so many
wild interactions;

with such embrace
and so much joy,
we have no reason
to set decoys.

you fell in love,
it was with me;
why can it be so
hard to see?

flip a switch
until it's habit
give me patience;
i'll give you practice.

don't look away,
and i will not
look away
like i was taught.

you have me,
battles won;
no one else
can overcome.

flip a switch,
i will do.
flip a switch,
for me and you.
543 · Apr 2015
Communication from Beyond
I straightened my hair
And got ready for the day;
Another day without you here…
Just another normal Saturday.

“Hey! Over here! Don’t you see me still?”
I don’t understand. Who gives me these chills?
“It’s me, Jayne Mansfield.
Won’t you come out to play?”

Don’t talk to me that way.
I don’t know you.

“You’re wasting away your day!
What else is there to say?”

Leave me alone.
You’re not my friend;
How do I put these strange thoughts
To an end?


“It’s me, Lady Diana, Queen of the Land;
I’ve come to free you from slavery
And give you a hand.”
Leave me now! and that’s a demand!

”Now, hold on one moment;
I may not be Queen,
But you are still speaking
to supreme royalty…”

What? Who are you?
Are you friends with them too?

“I am Grace Kelly,
The Princess of Doom.”

Shoo! Shoo! I don’t need you.
I need my best friend
Who was lost in her youth…
Just gone – like, ****.


“It’s alright,” said sweet Jayne,
Kneeled down on all fours…
“It’s okay,” said the Queen,
Who cried even more…

“Don’t be scared,” said the Princess,
Who just wasn’t sure
How to convince me that death
Unfolds into something much more…

"Live on," they all chanted,
and all I heard was love
coming from the voices
which now lived above.
543 · Mar 2018
yoga mats & decaf
heated blanket wonderland
bath bomb heaven
fruits and veggies all the time
go to sleep at seven

vitamins on the counter
decaf in the cabinet
yoga mat across the floor
gotta start new habits

research by day
snoring all night
gotta get this figured out
before you are in sight!
538 · Dec 2017
contradictions & hypocrisy
you yearn for freedom
then you crush it

you ask for time
yet you rush it

you preach equality
then ban all others

you look for knowledge
yet hide under covers

you want perfection
then you complain

you ask for sanity
yet behave insane

you say this is home
then tear down the flag

your heritage unknown
yet willing to brag

you ask for no lies
then don't believe truth

you ask for more money
our debt's through the roof

you look for happiness
and you long for peace

you hold onto a grudge
but you need release

you say you're a dreamer
but you don't believe

that we can do anything
that we can perceive
534 · Feb 2017
Semantics
We are just arguing over semantics,
when we both know that
what I said is true.

I could have said it another way,
but that will not change what is important -
the truth.

Accept this,
or choose to judge the way I speak...
but I am correct.

Do not let emotion
cloud your judgement,
or anger douse what is real.

I may be mean,
while ignorance is bliss...
but I choose to remain above all this.
532 · Jun 2013
Glow [draft]
not the healthiest thing
but the best thing for me
'cause I won't shoot up a mess
and I won't swallow poison
that infects the organs within

the soul with the open mind smokes
and the ones who build gates don't
unless you're fighting an addiction
and I know it isn't fiction
'cause I've been through it all before

or maybe save a little money
when being broke cannot be funny
'cause after a long while
we all get a little sore

but I still love her[b]
and it will settle me down
when the sun is rising
or I'm leaving the town :
the alternative to deficiency

'cause we all go blind at times
when the circus chimes
and it's time to go
but just take it slow
inhale, and then glow
525 · Apr 2013
Hip Hop
It used to be simple,
but life is not a freebie.
Now I find myself searching,
but people cannot see me.
I'm learning all the facts,
but my memory is whack.
I am right on time,
but I am right off track.
What is time anyway?
You ever thought of that?
I put myself before the clock,
so I'm next up to bat.
I take a swing and I dream
about life as a welcome mat.
If more people opened up,
then everyone would think like that.
Cut my hair for something fresh,
so I don't have to spend the cash.
Working hard to carry on,
remembering just where I'm at.
So much stress in each chapter,
but please don't ever look back.
Life is full of hope and darkness,
nothing is ever exact.
521 · Apr 2013
Satin Sheets and Mutilation
we took flight
on the highest of highs;
some obsession
that was in disguise
517 · Aug 2013
Neverlust
your cold, light skin --
won't you touch me?
in this life, would you ever want me?
tease me, follow me,
walk with and taunt me...
anything
just to know who you are
any way
to bring you down from the stars
to this world
and into my heart
band you from evil
and make a new start
is it only a dream,
or something less surreal?
I count down the days
to see your flesh
in the heat of the day
but here, I stay
and I haven't seen you once
watching, waiting
only for a dream
knowing it is false,
I sit here and scream
514 · Mar 2018
day 3 / blessing
i skipped days 1 and 2
to be with me and you

also, i was in shock

knock
knock
knock

who could it be?
a little bit of him and a little bit of me!
I have been all of them...

So,
how could they shock me?
and
how could I not understand them?

They are me
from the past -
this is for certain,

but am I them
from the future?
This is unknown,

and most likely, unlikely.
512 · Apr 2013
A Stranger to Myself
Here I am,
sitting here,
taking this personality test,
and it's as if,
I don't know the answers
to questions
that have no wrong answers;
it's like I don't know
myself
anymore.
504 · Mar 2013
An Eye For An Ant
Small and black, or maybe red
Tiny feet and a tiny head
If an ant like this were to walk into sight
I would let it be
**** it, you might
That is not me
That is not right
Because you are bigger, you think you are better
But life is life, and weather is weather
You could be born small some day
And when you are,
I hope they scare you away
Or maybe stomp on your flesh
You'll be small and black, or maybe red
But after they stomp,
You will be dead
I hate everyone.
Girls for being stupid.
Guys for being *****.
What the **** am I?
Can’t I be enough?
Do I have to file into one of these meaningless categories?
I thought life was about love.
I didn’t know it was about being stupid and *****.
I knew I was an alien.
Maybe a robot?
I just want to love and be loved back.
No secrets.
What am I?
Who is this man in my bed?
He’s been here for two years.
He must be here for the ***;
Everything else is an illusion.
I never get to ***.
I don’t care though,
I’d rather watch T.V. and do it myself later,
or not. I could go months…
What am I?
He’s an animal. They all are.
The dogs and the *******,
they both ****.
I hate everyone.
He still has photos of random girls
on his webpage history,
and we have *** every night!
What more do you want, **** it?
I hate you! I hate you!
I saw that message from an ex-girlfriend of yours…
Did you really go over there?
What did you all do?
Each other?
Why else would you go there…
Love is simple;
It’s guys and girls that are complicated.
What am I?
Help.
I’m clean. I’ve got nothing
but a beat up past that taught me a bunch.
Guess you aren’t done learning.
******* horndog
..s. All of you!
And stop telling me how to play Call of Duty.
This is my Xbox, not yours.
You’re the one with anger issues anyway.
You ****.
The thought of your **** in another *****
makes me queasy.
The cells of her **** possibly touching mine
through secondhand-bone?
Disgusting.
I must go get tested as soon as I find the truth.
I hope you know I ******* hate you.
Even your most genuinely sweet smile
will now be contorted in my mind
as a trick of the Devil.
Every kindness you make will be blocked against you
as a curse.
That’s what you are, love – a curse.
I hate you.
But what if you’re innocent?
Maybe you didn’t go?
Is there actually a Prince Charming out there?
If there is, it’d be you –
That’s what worries me.
If it isn’t you, I’m doomed.
There is no one.
I think it’s all fake.
I’m brainwashed.
I saw those movies too young.
Or maybe too old?
And now I’m making you look bad,
because we all know how good you really are to me.
I just wish you could keep it in your pants
for one week
while this yeast infection goes away.
Can any of you resist the urge to constantly ****?
Maybe I’m worrying for nothing…
I should probably sleep on the couch tonight,
enjoy the salty tears,
because we all know they taste pretty **** good.
But this bed is so warm and comfy next to you,
and when we wake up, you smile at me and make us coffee.
You’re never away from me for too long.
Remember that time I saw a saved snapchat of a girl in a hot dress
and I accused you of cheating?
Ended up, she was a famous person.
Silly me.
I hope that’s what this is this time too,
or something like that.
At least I own a gun now, so I can **** myself
if it really comes down to it.
Chill, I’m kidding.
I think.
But being alone? Man that would ****.
Almost as much as you all ****.
At least I’m not you all.
What am I?
I still hate you, but I’m tired,
and I need to go to sleep.
Maybe my dreams will show me an answer.
I just want this feeling in the pit of my stomach to go away.
I just want you to love me like I love you.
Every day you say it,
but I guess I'll never truly know.
I love you.
****.
495 · Mar 2013
San Diego
wanna move to San Diego,
con some fools and start some trouble
wanna live by The Sea,
swoon aged men with beer and stubble
wanna learn The Waves,
ride my heart into the yellow sun
wanna move to San Diego,
go from nothing to bein' someone
490 · Mar 2013
Devil's Grip
The Devil's Grip is like your bed when you wake up in the morning..
It feels rather comfortable and you could stay there forever,
but you know that at some point in the very near future, you must get out.
486 · Mar 2018
Ours
A rising tide that never crashes...
A sandstorm that never lasted --
Subsiding in our hearts;
Entwining like a work of art!

You're here now...
That's all that matters --
The earth will turn;
And it will shatter!

~

A piece of me...
Now a piece of you --
Is this a dream;
Or a dream come true?

Brought to Earth...
In all its hue --
To change the world;
To light anew!
482 · Feb 2017
Rainbow Child
If you are a rainbow,
show the world all of your colors,
not just one of them
for your entire lifetime,
when you have so much more to offer.
478 · Dec 2017
look up
look up
it will only be a bit

look up
you know it is worth it

look up
you've been places much like this

look up
dig out of the pit

look up
you see the stars from here

look up
the future's bright and near

look up
gone with all the tears

look up
there's nothing left to fear

look up
until your neck is raw

look up
you traveled and you saw

look up
just wait for the applause

look up
but don't forget to pause

look up
you know which way to go

look up
and trust the ones you know

look up
darkness 'round the low

look up
you'll be the one who glows
477 · Feb 2016
Sucker
I'm a sucker for top hats and trench coats

Won't somebody smart take me home tonight?

Let's get coffee down the road

Or swing in the playground

Like the good old days
476 · Sep 2013
Premonition Part 2
I watched you,
for quite some time,
as you looked back at me.

You grabbed my hand,
and you gave it a long kiss,
but I realized that it was a kiss farewell.

Your lips were so gentle,
and I never noticed this before,
but it was too late, as you walked out the door.
476 · Sep 2013
Premonition Part 1
I saw you,
standing there silently,  
but I never watched for long.

You watched me,
as I babbled nonsense,
and you called me beautiful.

I turned to kiss you,
but you were no longer there,
as a mystery filled me and soon began to bloom.
473 · May 2013
Viento Suave
walk the broken bridge
take a jump
flow with the soft wind
don't go numb
feel everything you see
con the Earth
be everything you need
show your worth
469 · Feb 2018
down the coffee cup
one day you wake up,
look down the coffee cup
& out into the world
into memories furled

and suddenly you see
this is the life of me
where ever did it go?
i'd really like to know

like the wave of a wand
it's here, then it's gone
we do and we don't
we can and we won't

oh, let's make the best
take care of the rest
surrender to the tides
and just enjoy the ride
466 · Apr 2013
No Man's Land
I went to Mars alone,
to sleep in the craters,
only to realize,
I would wake in a sandstorm.
464 · May 2013
Common Reaction
it's just
a common reaction
to her
lunar skin
it's just
a summoned attraction
from your
soul within
460 · Dec 2013
Lo Necesito
The need
            to heed
                      your seed
  
and plant the things I need,
and soak them 'til they're freed.
458 · Dec 2017
The Teacher
And as the teacher said goodbye to her graduating class
filled with children she taught so much to,
she wondered where they would go,
and she wondered who they would be...

Would so-and-so make it through high school?
Would what's-her-name keep dancing?
Would that-one-boy ever stop talking and begin to listen to others?
Had she done enough to help them all?

It was no longer her responsibility;
she had set them free.

After a nostalgic sit, she walked home to a simple house,
in a simple town. Her husband waited
at the dinner table, silently admiring her curls,
as she sat down, ready to take in food and new information.

When she was at home, she was no longer the teacher,
but the student. Her children filled her soul
with things she never knew or imagined.
Her husband smiled and reminded her
that no one in this world is perfect,
but in his eyes, she was,
and that was all that need matter to her.
450 · Jul 2013
Equals4Life
try and fathom what I imagine
through the stars and all the fractions
I find something new
then I grab it
Star Trek, more real than it ever was through my child eyes
went from elementary to overcoming common lies
believe in something wild
'cause my sauce isn't mild
it's all or nothing
when it comes to exploration
leave no man behind
but don't abuse the mind
only the smart can see the smart
intelligence is a science, but it's art
each eye sees different
we're all on separate frequencies
but that doesn't mean
you should put yourself beneath me
we're equals
and in mind and heart
we're nothing alike
and don't look if you'd like
but I've got something to show you
I don't even know you
but we're equals for life
449 · Feb 2017
in love with your mystery
I'm in love with your mystery .

Maybe I don't deserve to be loved back . . .

I'm not very mysterious .

I am an open book .

It makes no sense ;

I want you to be open ,

but I am in love with your mystery .

What do I do ?

This is a catch 22 . . .
447 · Apr 2013
Hot Mess
Never had a real best friend,
but I got myself a cat.
Never liked to be alone,
but I'm happy where I'm at.
Never had good taste in clothing,
but I've managed to look good.
Never did very well in school,
but I did the best I could.
Never really put myself down,
but lately I've been lost.
Never put a price on myself,
but I feel I'm paying a cost.
Never been too unrealistic,
but now I'm chasing tides.
Never had much head trouble,
but now I don't know how to thrive.
Never was very decisive,
but I've accepted my mistakes.
Never liked to have regrets,
but I love the lessons I take.
Never traveled far from home,
but I've done my part in the streets.
Never knew just what I wanted,
but I've got everything I need.
445 · Jun 2013
Fear's Advocate
She said she wanted to walk every inch of the Earth's soil, just to see it.
But when she had the chance, she hesitated.
Listening for direction, the wind blew by;
and she never knew why
she never walked at all.
443 · Dec 2014
To: My Dark Lady
I admired you once...
a kind of strange, not-yet creepy stalk...
like the view from the corner of the eye --
always wanting more...

But I watched you change --
from animal to human...
and suddenly, you weren't so oracular --
something more mainstream...

Like vise-versas of one another...
You dove into the depths of fame --
as I dove into the depths of shame --
and neither achieved what was sought...

Still, a dark lady...
who I'd love to watch further...
But nothing like the start --
Nothing near the finish...
I wonder...
440 · Jan 2018
message for you
May you one day feel
how you deserve to feel.
~
439 · Dec 2017
progress
weights fall off

as we dance toward the light

another day down as we

wake from the night

as time grows on

it slows down with you

how could it not

with such a wonderful view

our future like the sea

everchanging and bold

but without some risk

a good story is never told

so I take your hand

as you grab my hips

and we both decide

to make something of this
438 · Nov 2015
Silent Love
I used to wonder
if I'd grow old lonely
because you speak so little.

I would sometimes
desperately yearn for your voice,
simply for the need of its presence in my ears.

But the more people I meet,
the more I grow to love your silence;
the more I grow to love who you were and are now.

We sometimes only lay and smile,
like little happy wizards reading minds,
as we gaze into each other's abstruse souls.

Silence is the reason
I loved you in the beginning,
then worried words got in the way.

I went a little crazy,
and blamed you for my tangled thoughts,
wishing I knew all the answers to everything; as if I could.

Soon I realized,
I was the cause of my own distress,
and you were still sitting there silent, waiting for me.

After some time,
our souls became one;
at least I would like to think so.

So don't speak.
Don't ruin it, and neither will I.
Let's live in this silence, together forever;
just knowing that we're in love.
433 · Apr 2013
1990 Time Traveler
Stuck in a time after me,
and I haven't even been there yet.
A cloudy future seed
turning into a net.
Could that girl be me? -
after all of the tears and sweat..

To fall or be caught,
but never to surrender.
I hide to be sought -
undesirably tender.
The clock is ticking
but I'm still here.

Never a 20th century gem;
Never a tad more bruised;
Never a broken limb;
Just a young girl;
Just a 1990 time traveler -
stuck in space.
She leaves alone
without a trace.

Coming back broken-like,
being somewhere unbelonged;
maybe she is chosen-like:
She'll dance in the psych
of it all,
like it's just some kind of song.
430 · Apr 2013
More or Less
When they get too close,
I swim away.
When they get too far,
my heart decays.
The sight of them
excites me, so.
The thought of loss
just gives me woe.
I long for someone
who understands.
Whether it be
a woman or man.
Maybe I'm just
a perfectionist.
Maybe I'm just
an objectivist.
So just like trash,
I throw you out.
Hoping that
new roots will sprout.
Someone please,
show me the way.
These nights are long;
my feelings sway.
Am I so exotic
that no one can impress?
Is love really tangible,
or is it just a mess?
I stand alone,
but strong - I stand.
I stand alone;
come hold my hand.
422 · Sep 2014
Oscillation
Life is just us oscillating from nothingness.
Life is movement.
It is communication.
When we stop moving, we become nothing.
It's the reason we stay busy in our daily lives;
it distracts us from the fact that if we weren't busy,
we'd be static.
Some practice the life of being still,
and they are happy...
They accept what we truly are:
nothing;
and that is all that we have to be,
because nothing is great.
It's something.
421 · Apr 2017
Feminism Pt. I
When you want to be something, be it.
Don't complain about not being it.
That is all I will say on that subject.
i waited for words
anything
something
to arrive
and make my heart swing

i waited
weeks
months
years
what seemed like a lifetime

no one gave them to me
no one gave me the words i imagined
inside my head
or in my heart

then you came
and gave me something better
exceeded my expectations
and gave me something more

for this
i thank you
and for this
i love you
420 · Apr 2013
Battle Won
This prison holds me tight
and spits on me,
but I will not show weakness
and I will not give in.
For, the battle may be won,
but the war has just begun.
419 · Apr 2013
Naked Face, Human Race
a white palette
is fine by me
my eyes and lips
are all I need
no painted face
or angel hair
no human race
can make me care
this is me
and I am fine
don't taint my face
just fill my mind
419 · Feb 2014
What Lies Within
First, I looked to the sky and I saw all the stars;
there they slept; I saw them;

Then, I felt the wind breezing by;
there it moved; I felt it;

After, a leaf fell from a tree and almost touched by face;
there it fell; I sensed it;

Finally, I went to the steam and noticed its movement;
there it moved; I watched it;

In the end, I looked in the mirror and saw myself;
there I stood; I reflected;

After the end, I wrote a poem about all the life around me;
there it was; within me.

In the afterlife, I taught some folk about what I learned;
there they were; listening;

During that time, they began to question what I said;
there they were; the questions;

During the questions, things became torn and skewed;
Life was no longer within the stars,
no longer in the breeze or the trees, or even the stream,
and definitely no longer within myself;
they had taken it outside, while I was inside.

After the questioning, all the life had vanished,
and these things became nouns;
still-life.

After the answering, all the questions disappeared,
and they only saw the answers;
definite.

After memorizing the answers, nothing else seemed to matter,
and no one paid attention to what I had to say;
my teachings were no longer relevant.

Before calling me a liar, they took what I told and made it something new.

After calling me a liar, I screamed, "No! No! That's you!"

But later, no one believed me.

Stars were just stars.
Trees were just trees.
Streams were just streams.
Leaves, just leaves.
418 · Oct 2013
So
So
a time so unexpected,
you oppose to forsake me
with eyes so clear,
I throw away the fake me
an essence so surreal,
the harshest of pinches couldn't wake me
a light so strong,
that I will surrender now, so take me
an arm like a sword,
you could strike me down and shake me
a love so true,
you'd never have to make me
416 · Apr 2017
Feminism Pt. II
You can choose to listen & react to the negativity, or you can just live freely and wait for them to see that they were wrong.
Actions are always louder than reactions.
415 · Sep 2015
Seamed Dreams
And when I saw the light, shining so bright…
More and more of it each day and at night,
I watched as it grew, and I knew only
Growth could go on forever and always…
Never looking back at the daunting mist,
At eye-level with stench, my nose could not
Smell like my eyes could see; I knew what
I needed to be, but what wonders could
Push and scream, when things are not what they seem,
To bring a reality from our dreams…
My teacher gave us a prompt: 10 lines with 10 syllables each, and the poem must be about some kind of big change...
414 · Mar 2013
Next
missing the old life
but moving forward
caught between thought
and thoughtless
pulled out of a shoe
and dropped in another
content but confused
not caring
only staring
into the future
unsure of what is there
unsure of what is here
numb and indifferent
but still a girl
still my world
a world with no purpose
but to enjoy it
so enjoy I do
find something new
on my toes
but laying down
waiting for something
or someone
Something strange happened when
I saw his knees.
I trembled and bit my lip,
but knowing he must be so cold,
I touched him,
and he disproved my judgement as
his heat transferred to my body,
and I lusted him from then on...
413 · Mar 2013
360
360
A twist in the wind
and it's turned me around
What I once loved
is never to be found
Clueless little girl
that walked on sunshine
Now a wild beast
at the edge of her shrine
Pushed over
the edge of all she knows
She smiles
so it never really shows
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