I'm tired of screaming
And not being heard
I'm tired on blabbing
On and on
It's absurd!
Just wake me up
From my forever sleep
And restrain from my master's keep
The dark forbidden tomb
That is my cascading mind,
Is trapped forever,
Frozen in perpetual time.
Striving for perfection
You get nothing but "perplextion"
Confusion
"Bemusion"
Mystification
It's my only relation.
As I wander in dead darkness
I feel the heat creep up behind me.
I feel the flame lick my neck
I feel the cold linger
No longer a speck
A speck of hope
A speck of fear
A speck of soul I cling to dear!
My love is my torch
My love is my lamp
Even when God's tears drip and fall
Trying to make my spirits damp.
But I tread on
Through that doomed sepulcher.
I tread on...
No one can help her.
They say God has a plan
One everyone must follow
Right up to the very man...
A plan called fate
A plan I hate
A plan that dooms us all in state,
The state of fear
We wallow in,
The state we hear of indifference...
Every night I hear the screams
In my commemorative dreams
The screams of my peers
That echo in my ears
They match my own
My silent screams
They mask my dream
Their silent screams
From neglect above,
He neglects to save me
For I fear to speak aloud
For I fear to be misunderstood
From what i suffer...
The count down to the ever-stated doom
Is pounding in my head
A heartbeat that is hushed
Am I really so dead?
Wish me luck as I travel to space
The clock goes tick
I have one wish
I wish for freedom
I wish for tears
I wish for more people with ears
Ears that will listen to the cries
Of everyone
Everyone that dies
But everyone must die
So now it's my turn
Wish me luck
Send me to space
Please! get me away from this place
I want to be free
So please
Let me be
Count down
say five
Don't drown
say four
Not from my tears
say three
Not for many years
say two
Just please Lord forgive me,
say one...
For I have sinned.

it's hard to hold tight
when you want to let go
its hard to not fight
against the dangers below

the path that i walk is one that's well tread
i dream a dream that others have led
but, i focus on that mountain
no, i wont take a bow
not until I'm up on that stage
and you look at me and say "how?"

how? because i fought
how? because i was taught
never forget the path that you choose
if you do that then i promise, you will never lose

this is my advice to those who follow me
stay true to yourself and you'll always be free

I sit here, alone.
Surrounded by friends.
The warm, sweet tea runs down my throat and I listen...
Listen to their chatter
Listen to their noise
Listen to their cacophony

I sit here in the noise
I pray for peace and silence.
For someone to say "hello"
I pray for a bit of kindness.

I don't want attention
I don't need attention
I am content to be alone.
But to be alone when surrounded by others...
It is unbearable.

I'm nervous
I'm quiet.
I'm guarded.
I'm alone.

It is time to start over
It is time for the new tale.
It is time for laughter
It is time not to fail.

So wish me luck,
Away I go!
I start my new chapter
To learn what I don't know.

In your bedroom, in the dark
You arise to the sound of thunder.
You know your bedroom like an art
now get up and try to maneuver.

In the hallway, in the dark
With dips and cracks much deeper-
Deeper than you ever thought.
Now it gets more tricky,
Running through the maze.
The darkness gets more sticky
Trapping you in it's craze.

You are safe in the darkness
As long as you stand still.
Now you are stuck in the darkness.
You have been and always will.

I find myself dreaming even when I am awake.
In these dreams I am praying for Heaven's sake,
"Come quickly!" I cry "You must come and see!"
For instead of just one there are three!
Three young boys, all crying and full of goo,
They have come, my messengers, they have come.
It has not yet come to pass, this fate my dreaming makes...
But if it does, soon you will see in judgement Christ has come.
But if it doesn't, and I do not see those three same eyes staring back at me...
I must, as all before me, go to sleep in prayer for eternity.

I find myself dreaming even when I am awake.
Of life and death and what they'll celebrate at my wake.
Of every death I've seen before and know what it is to feel
I cannot be, it can only be dreams, it's not real.
But what can I say but, "I hear and obey."?

There was once a priestess in the time before Exodus who spoke in defense of Israel before Pharaoh and did not cease speaking even as she was walked deep into the desert.
I know what it is to thirst.

There was once a child who loved winter and who fell through the ice.
I know what it is to drown.

There was once an elder who was learned of medicine, who had no children but saved orphans of warring towns.
I know what it is to live with purpose and die fulfilled.

So when I dream and in prayer I hear Him say
To speak as I have spoken,
To go forward without fear,
And to hear His calling to purpose.
What can I say but, "I hear and obey."?

The theft of a heart is an unpunished crime
One that's been committed - committed to mine.
The joy you feel when in love is a trap
Only to be bent and broken. SNAP!
I blame myself for the pain I've caused;
To live in a sea of red.
To jump for joy once I've found the boy
Only to find out he's dead.
Dead of emotion - but only to you
Not to the ones he trusts.
You've broken that trust - but not because you absolutely must.
The pain of love is not restricted
It is not restrained
It goes on holding all feeling
And creating more pain.

In the early days of summer
Came a lovely butterfly
Whose wings were painted with the hues
Of sunsets in the sky

He flew around the gardens
However, what he chose
To land on was a tiny bud;
the smallest unborn rose

He waited with the bud for weeks
Until it opened wide
And petals colored like the sun
Were waiting there inside

The butterfly danced for his rose,
His rose collected dew
A drink to give her butterfly
And each day their love grew

One evening under brilliant skies
Bright yellow, orange and red
The butterfly and lovely rose
Together they were wed

Soon summer passed and came the time
When roses start to fade
And butterflies leave for the south
But knowing that, he stayed

The butterfly faced freezing winds
But would not leave his bride
And with his wings wrapped round his rose,
Together they both died

So far away are you
Each day our love grew.
Like flowers in meadow-
So attainable and free-
But flowers cannot compare
Not to you, and not to me.
Our paths have crossed for reasons
Like a shinning shooting star
I know I can never reach it
No matter how truly far-
The distance shatters
And for a second I am yours
But right as rain,
We cannot attain,
This love born from infinite space.

If you are my friend
Help me
To leave you
Or, if you are my lover
Help me
So I can be rid of you
If I knew
The ocean was so deep
I wouldn't have swam it
If I knew
How it would end,
I wouldn't have begun.

I desire you
So teach me not to desire
Teach me
How to cut the roots of your love
From the depths of the sea
Teach me
How tears may die in the eyes
And love may commit suicide.

If you are a prophet,
Cleanse me form this spell
Deliver me from this atheism
Your love is like poison
So purify me form  my sins.

If you are strong
Rescue me from these depths
For I don't know how to swim in the dark
The blue waves in your eyes
Drag me deeper into the depths
Blue
Blue turns to black
No longer the color blue
I have no experience
In how to rid myself of you
And, I have no boat.

If I am dear to you
Then take my hand
For I am filled with desire
From my head to my feet
Take my hand
For I am choking
I am breathing under water!
I am drowning,
Drowning...
Drowning.

Listen to my heart beat
For I cannot hear the sound.

Listen to the rhythm
As water pulls me down.

Listen for my call
For I cannot breathe.

Listen for the cackle
As the fire continues to seethe.

Listen for the silence
For that is our new beginning.

Looking in the mirror you see from whence you came
Looking back was never meant to be filled with so much pain
I know where I have been and
I know where I plan on going
But by looking in the mirror I see what is really showing
I’m the girl you once knew but never understood
I’m the girl who could do great things but never dreamed she could
I’m the girl who looked in the mirror and saw who she really was
I’m the girl, with broken dreams of roses and of doves
I’m the girl whose heart was broken into two
I’m that girl, don’t you remember?
But who, may I ask, are you?
The broken shards behind me, hide what is really there
The blood and pain of others who pretended to really care
Giving up my love was such an easy thing to do
But I gave it up to early, I gave it all to you
We were young and unafraid of what would soon become
Of us together, apart or us together as one?
It was magic, it seemed to be
The magic of you and the magic of me
But magic doesn’t work for those who refuse to pay
So we paid yesterday, we’re paying now, we pay for it today
I’m the girl who forgot nothing comes without a price
I’m the girl whose great friend was a long and sharp kitchen knife
I’m the girl you loved but then quickly threw away
I’m the girl who looked in the mirror and saw who she is today
I’m the girl whose heart was broken into two
I’m that girl, don’t you remember?
But who, may I ask, are you?

Hey, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a hopeless romantic. actually, I'm a hopeful romantic, and I'm hopelessly in love with you.
I hope you can hear me because I sit here every night before bed and pray for our dreams to come true... but, I hardly ever see you... and you're so far away. Every night I look in the sky in the hopes to glimpse your shadow; but, only the stars twinkle back at me.
Peter Pan, I love you. Take me with you on your adventures! I want to live with you in your world.
You came and swept me off my feet and took me to our own Neverland. We climbed rocks and we were as tall as the mountains. We grew together and I want to grow with you forever. I'll be the second star on your right hand side and we shall be the flame that will shine brighter than any other. I know we will.
I know we will because I trust in us. I trust in you. Do you hear me? It doesn't really matter if you're here - I know you hear me. I know you know how I feel and I know you feel the same.
I've learned a lot about myself since you left and I don't really like what I'm seeing. I am learning to take what you've taught me so I can be the best person I can be. I'm learning.
I promise you, my love, I will love myself before your return. I promise I will always be loyal because I know that honesty is key. I promise to protect my own flame from the winds of others - just as you told me to.
It is your heart and soul that doesn't age but only grows wiser, because you're you... Peter Pan, and I'm your Lost Boy.

I wish that you were near me
I’m all alone up here,
I see that you are lonely
But know that I am near

I’ll wait for you my darling
Until the day you come,
For I will always be with you
You’re heart is where I’m from.

I miss your warm embrace
I miss your gentle call,
But now I’ll wait for you my dear
I’ll catch you when you fall.

The timber tones
That penetrate my bones
Turn my soul to you
It starts off sweet
But then I meet
The bridge
That breaks
My heart

My head begins to lighten
My heart begins to feel
Your hold on me, it tightens
Like your notes are made of steel

I try and leave you messages
I try and be discreet
I try to be coy and cunning
But it’s not me you seek

I laugh at all your jokes
I’m the one who’s always there
I’m the one who loves you
Don’t you see why I care?

I try to make you notice
I try to show the truth
I try to give you hints
But you’re not Holmes, you sleuth.

You’re as obtuse as an angle
You’re as bright as a rock
But today you noticed me
I guess you’re smarter than I thought.

of course I’m angry
of course I’m sad
of course I’m broken
of course I’m mad
of course I’m happy
I’m filled with light
I’m not one to look for a fight
I need not look far, you see,
the fight is between me and me
It’s a tiny typhoon,
with the weight of the moon,
It drags me down to the sea - with no light
I try and try with all my might
for years I struggle
for years I fail
to protect myself
I build my own jail
I am my own warden
I am my own bars
but you see the freedom
of my painted scenery
the walls of my cell - mirrors to reality
if the mirror is broken
well, seven years bad luck
but at this point I don’t think I give a ****
so please let me rest
so please give me peace
I’m ready for that one final test
but if today’s not my day to meet my Lord and Savior
I have faith that He awaits to see what I endeavour
to see if I struggle
to see if I care  
to see if I fight
to see if I dare
I dare to dream
I dare to try
I dare to soar
I dare to fly
so from the sea I’ll breach my wings
and track Icarus’ fall from the Kings
for where he fell, so too shall I fly, to the moon and back - so dare shall I

Love is like a river floating down stream
Just when the water stills, it merges with another
The rivers play, tossing the water around
Unbeknownst of the waterfall that's tumbling down
Together they fall, becoming one,
It's scary to fall, damage is done.
I've fallen before it's sad to say
Sometimes the river doesn't quite make the bay
But i hope and i pray that this river lasts
For i think I've found true love at long last.

I fall, tumble, spiral into the darkness of my unconscious dream
I try and fail to control my violent thoughts
I try and fail not to remember
I open my mouth, throat, lungs, and await the impending scream
But just like beautiful, frightening magic
I am surrounded by silence

The peaceful bliss soaks up my soul in silence
I am finally, here in this dream,
Free. The freedom scared me but I know that I am safe surrounded by the quiet magic.
Then, sour goes my thoughts
And once again I scream
And I remember

I stare into the darkness, replying my memories; I remember
My worst nightmare and my wish for silence.
I hear the noise but that it not my scream.
I wish this was only a dream-
Not a dream but a memory, I attempt to control my thoughts
And once again, I am failed by my own magic.

Nothing lasts long, especially magic,
magic is a state of mind, but there is not safety in one's mind I remember-
Not where thoughts
Run freely, engulfing any hope, any shiny silver hope of silence.
I know this is a dream
But still I scream.

For help, for comfort, for hope, for love, for guidance I scream
I search, I scour, I desperately look for my state of magic
Consciousness cannot compare with this dream
One cannot hide in nothingness, not from a memory one does not wish to remember
Where in darkness is there ever silence?
Where in the mind are there no thoughts?

Death has no thoughts
Death can not scream
Death has only silence
Death is the permanent magic
Death can not remember
Death has no dreams

What is one with no thoughts?
I remember the silence and the screams within the dream
Then I awake to the sun and realize
There is magic in me.

born of magic, torn from life
cursed to feed on other's strife
immortal life is cursed indeed
living on a horrid greed
from year to year he wanders much
searching for his lover's touch
but there is beauty in self control
a glimpse of humanity left it's toll
for even though time has passed
there is nothing more pure than love that lasts
but with a soul in question, who would dare
to give their love into eternal despair
so a choice must be made
life for life forever is the trade
eternal damnation, that is the price
for love together, a homicidal vice
but no choice is made and time marches on
accidents happen and in a blink, she's gone
now he walks the beaten path
the ****** pilgrim, humanity replaced by wrath

Words on a page
Nothing but words on a page
The touching truth
A deceiving lie
Nothing but words on a page
Dreamers
Thinkers
Lovers
Wishers
All their words written on a page
Written in stone
Written in sand
Written with this pen in my hand
Words are powerful
Words are magical
Their meanings may differ
But they are always simply,
Words on a page.

YES I'm a romantic, what's wrong with that?
The sound of the night makes me think of his laugh.
The crickets song, in all it's glory,
cannot compare to the sound of him snoring.
Silence, I find, is often quite scary...
but i love the silence when he's with me.

YES I'm a romantic I'm quite proud to say
that he makes me happy all night and all day.
I don't have much, but I have a dream and he's in it
with him charm and his looks and rather quick wit.

YES I'm in love with him I'm quite proud to say...
we fell in love in a car, driving across the bay.