I fall, tumble, spiral into the darkness of my unconscious dream
I try and fail to control my violent thoughts
I try and fail not to remember
I open my mouth, throat, lungs, and await the impending scream
But just like beautiful, frightening magic
I am surrounded by silence
The peaceful bliss soaks up my soul in silence
I am finally, here in this dream,
Free. The freedom scared me but I know that I am safe surrounded by the quiet magic.
Then, sour goes my thoughts
And once again I scream
And I remember
I stare into the darkness, replying my memories; I remember
My worst nightmare and my wish for silence.
I hear the noise but that it not my scream.
I wish this was only a dream-
Not a dream but a memory, I attempt to control my thoughts
And once again, I am failed by my own magic.
Nothing lasts long, especially magic,
magic is a state of mind, but there is not safety in one's mind I remember-
Not where thoughts
Run freely, engulfing any hope, any shiny silver hope of silence.
I know this is a dream
But still I scream.
For help, for comfort, for hope, for love, for guidance I scream
I search, I scour, I desperately look for my state of magic
Consciousness cannot compare with this dream
One cannot hide in nothingness, not from a memory one does not wish to remember
Where in darkness is there ever silence?
Where in the mind are there no thoughts?
Death has no thoughts
Death can not scream
Death has only silence
Death is the permanent magic
Death can not remember
Death has no dreams
What is one with no thoughts?
I remember the silence and the screams within the dream
Then I awake to the sun and realize
There is magic in me.
Peace