How do you only feel a light rain,
When I feel a massive hurricane?

Is your heart not feeling as mine?

I adore you more than the planets,
In our wretched cosmos;
Yes, our cosmos is wretched compared,
To your wondrous, vibrant beauty!

But what am I to you?
In your eyes,
In your heart?

To you I would give everything.
Why is it so unrequited?
Is your love a myth?

I think I've lost my touch, my flair for poetry. Most of my recent writes I've not been happy with, so I'm going to take a break from it. I'll still be on here from time to time, but if you want to keep in touch more, message me and I'll give my kik info. :)

God bless!

I'm just here at 11:15pm
writing at a **** screen
for some **** reason
I forgot when I lost my
******* heart.

I don't feel anymore
don't know why
where my heart was
a paper wrapper sits
saying expired

My head just as empty
saying hello to the fairies
that don't exist in my world
just a lot of fallen angels
slowly dying.

But this **** screen
doesn't solve my issues
that I can't resolve because,
*for ****'s sake I'm not me
anymore

my eyes are open
and it hurts
every time I breathe
the air is a little broken
all my emotions
frozen
yet the pain remains
going through the motions
grasping with fingers
gasping for oxygen
a bitter corrosion
the rain comes
falling
I can't hold on
and refuse to
let go

I don't want to ask the questions I want to ask
I don't want to hear the answers I want to hear

You're my Angel and my Demon
You're my Rescue and my Death

My will is faltering and failing
My faith is strengthening and secure

I don't live in a paradox
But I die in a paradox

The more I use it
The more I hate myself
The more I hate myself
The more I use it

Just because I don't love you anymore
Doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you.

I want to feel heaven tonight
But I'm willing to be patient
I want to see the stars
In your eyes tonight
But I'm willing to be patient
I want to know your warmth
I want to feel your heartbeat
I want to crave all of you
But I'm willing to be patient

If the tears are what wash my heart,
Then every night spent crying
Has been worth all tears.
So one more night spent
With pillow wrapped my face,
Let these salty tears flow and I'm clean.

A little pink flower is laid down
Its pedals kissing the stone above
It's her grave, the woman he loved
The only woman he could ever love

If but death could be bargained with
He would trade a million souls for hers alone
How he holds her pillow to his chest every night
And watches their wedding video every day she's gone

And every year that passes him by
He leaves a little pink flower at her grave
And holds their precious daughter close
As they remember the woman who was their life

Darkness descends over my eyes,
  But I tell you that I'm perfectly fine.
What crosses my lips are only lies,
  As I slip more and more over the line.
A glass bridge shatters in my soul,
  Paralyzed, I fall away far from grace.
The darkness swallows me whole,
  Lines of anguish are carved in my face.
I realize there's no chance of winning,
  Swimming away, I'm only left drowning.
Crowning moment of my life, my demise.

Oh I can't tell how I feel right now
Everything is a confusing mess
It's like my heart is shrouded and veiled
My thoughts run aground like a ship

I have doubts and fears whispering in my head
So many old ghosts wish me to be dead
I don't know how to survive this
I can't help but assume the worst

Plastic face
Plastic skin
Plastic smile
Plastic eyes
Plastic clothes
Plastic words
Plastic souls

When will we be real?

Sign your name on my heart
With a sharp knife, please
So you can scar yourself
Forever into my heart

To fall is to be human
But what is it when plummeting?

A question I have no answer for
Perplexed minds do not comprehend

To plummet is to live?
Plummet to my death

Let me live again
Let me plummet and fall

to quietly suffer
to quietly heal
to lose everything
to lose nothing
the parts of the whole
that erased my soul
to start over again
a blessing that depends
on the seeds grown
in a mind that groans

So I've backslid all week and came to the end of myself.
I'm laying myself down, yet again, for You to redeem.
You save me always, because Your grace rules over my death.

God, please
Let her drop the blade
Let her skin remain whole
Keep the blood in her veins
And fix her eyes on You

God, I gotta say
I don't understand
What it means
To be a Christian
Anymore

Your grace abounds in sin
But we're not to commit sin
We sin everyday, everyway
Not one of us is clean, ever

I'm having a tough time here
Would You please make it clear?
My soul is forever Yours
Flesh breaks our union

My chains are clasped around my wrists
As a bluebird sings me a song
For so long under this tree
I've been imprisoned

The sun has long since bronzed my skin
And my eyes are used to the glare
So many seasons pass me by
Yet time forgets me still

I am friends with the animals passing by
And this tree shelters me through all
But people left me here all alone
The price for my evil crime

I sometimes believe that I deserve this punishment
But truly, this was far too harsh a judgement
My flesh has scarred from the chains
My mind has snapped in two

Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
    in the heavens.
   Through the praise of children and infants
    you have established a stronghold against your enemies,
    to silence the foe and the avenger.
   When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
    what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?
    You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
    you put everything under their feet:
    all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
    the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.
Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

My mind is a maze
Mirrored walls
Sloped floors
I can't find my way out of it

Like a circus freak show
My mind freaks me out
Terrorizing me in the night
Invading my resting dreams

But in these times I'm lost
Although I'm scared and alone
There is peace in these halls
Of my mazed mirrored mind

Scars trail into the abyss
as the world becomes undone//

Wanton slaughter and rampant
rage echo through the halls//

I am sorry for all I have done//

And all I have failed to do...

blessed are the pure in heart
pure in heart
pure in heart
for they shall see god
see god
see god
and not be blinded by
sickles in eyes
harvesting what the world
longs to buy
to buy
to buy
a cost of soul
a meeting of minds
reality transcends
the emptiness within
its a story its a spin
layers of caked on sin
leprosy covered sin
cut off and not allowed
to see god
see god
see god
so i pray make me clean
been this way since fourteen
maybe longer maybe less
couldn't care less
theres sins i dont confess
i just undress and
let my nakedness be my shame
take the blame
its only a game
im only a name
my only aim
to hit the mark
have a pure heart
and finally see
god

Sometimes even the truth lies to me
But it's only because I lie to the truth
I have to keep it all balanced in place
And you'll never know it, seeing my face

My lies aren't an onion
Layered one after another
The truth buried in the center
That's too easy; I'm complex

My lies are like a Rubik's cube
But even better than that
Because even if you solve one
It's not the whole story I've spun

I've left many cubes over many places
It's impossible for you to chain them all
And figure out all of my precious lies
The reason I'm so good at lying?

Because I always tell the truth.

It's not the crackle of the flames,
Or the smell of sulfur,
Or the heat of fire,
That makes us stand in awe.

It's the total consuming aspect,
The way it glitters in our hearts,
And leaves everything in ruin,
That makes us light it up.

Leaving charred remnants of things once valued,
Forcing them to become discarded as worthless and broken,
This equalizer, this fire, it is a balancing force of power,
To be respected and feared, yet also revered.

i’ve gambled on shadows
bet on whispers that faded at dawn
held my hand against the table’s edge
afraid to ante up for more
the house always wins
they said
as though joy were a rigged game
a wheel spinning to nowhere
but tonight
with trembling fingers
i lay down all i have
dreams i dared not speak aloud
the weight of every almost
every not quite yet
the air shifts
a hush a pause
a moment thick with risk and promise
and then
against all odds
happiness smiles back
it’s not the jackpot
not fireworks or a grand parade
but a steady warmth in the chest
the quiet click of a lock undone
i’ve wagered on light this time
on the sun that rises without fail
on the laughter i hear in the distance
growing closer now
for once
i bet on myself
and the deal feels true

Under a tree with pen and paper
Thoughts immersed in writing prose
World around her turns to silken vapor
A masterful performance will she compose

Words are her instruments
Ink is her conductor's baton
Graceful art from her fingers
Spill onto the ****** paper

Her mind charges in the tranquility of her surroundings
The peace of the locale soothes her imagination
Focus and clarity like a mountain stream
Refreshment like a volcanic spring

Come and see what she has writ
Queen of poems beauty she emits
Lift her onto your shoulders high
Sing her anthems and crack the sky

If I ruled the world, I would be,
Not a benevolent leader, nor,
Would I be a tyrannical leader.

I would be something much unexpected and, hopefully, humble.

You see, I would be a quilt maker. Not of fabric and thread, though.
I would stitch the different cultures together, leaving each individual one unique, yet united by a common thread.

I would sit with my diplomatic needle and peaceful stitching and lead those whom hold contempt for one another see the other's perspective.

I would show them that,
The world isn't in black and white,
It's in full, high-definition color.
So let's celebrate unity,
Equality,
Individuality,
And uniqueness.

Because in the final chapter,
We all already rule the world.
It's up to us to thread ourselves to each other,
Or pull ourselves apart by the seams.

lost in the echoes of shadowed screams
whispers of the night, haunting my dreams
asphalt veins pulse with secrets untold
within the city's heart, a story unfolds
skyscrapers scrape the ink-black sky
carving stories with every blink of an eye
midnight's symphony, a sirenic trance
wrapped in the city's clandestine dance
where fractured reflections blend and blur
illuminated whispers, like a clandestine slur
a labyrinth of alleys, weaving tales unspoken
each brick, a witness, each silence, a token
in the tapestry of shadows, i find my reprieve
seeking solace in the night, where shadows deceive
streets adorned with wilted hopes
graffiti tales on the walls, slippery slopes
sallow faces etched with despair
the city breathes a heavy, poisoned air
crimson stains on the sidewalks' embrace
echoes of shattered dreams, a somber trace
moonlight weeps upon broken glass
a reflection of dreams that couldn't amass
flickering neon, a sputtering flame
in the alleyways, shadows play their game
the city's heartbeat, a muffled drum
resonating with dreams undone
forsaken whispers in the abandoned lots
of ambitions crumbled, tied in knots
a skyline of shattered aspirations
each silhouette, a tale of desolation
like wilted flowers in a concrete field
where hope, like petals, slowly peeled
fading stars in the polluted sky
a requiem for dreams that couldn't fly
under the flickering lamplights' hum
ghostly remnants of a dream succumb
whispers of what could've been
vanish into the city's melancholy din
empty streets, hollowed echoes roam
through the ruins of a forsaken home
each step, a dance on fractured dreams
where hope unravels at the seams
a labyrinth of yearning, lost and bare
as the city weaves its tapestry of despair
in the silent alleys, shadows sigh
a requiem for dreams left to die

Rain drizzle drazzle,
Down from a hollow sky,
Droplets merge to a puddle,
Puddle forms a new lake,
Children swim and jump in,
Fish fornicate in what you drink,
Lake returns to the sky,
To be rain drizzle drazzle.

Come the summer outro, shall we dance in the rain of this season, or make rain in grief of lost time?

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

I've got a thousand things to tell you
& a thousand reasons not to say them

They shall stay locked within my heart
& never see the light of the day, my dear

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

A Christian should not struggle with suicide
& wake up wondering if today's the day I die

But these demons claw at my head
& they are relentless in their attack

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

The sins of the flesh and of the eyes
& sins of the life I've locked inside

Yeah I have a thousand things to tell you
& I have a thousand reasons not to say them

Oh Lord, I am a broken man

All of these raw words won't save me
These friends can't save me
I'm craving for help
Let me leave my past on a shelf
To gather dust and be forgotten
So I can allow my forgiveness
& be free at last

I'm here in the Red Light District of town
But I'm not here to feast on the cheap flesh
I'm looking for something here, hiding in the open
There's escorts on every corner, men and women trying to make some money. Through open doorways I catch glimpses of strippers and live *** shows. I move on.

I found it nestled in between two abandoned buildings
A small warehouse, for a long time dormant, but holding a gathering this night
I step through the doors and am greeted by a sight I'd never seen before: prostitutes and strippers, both male and female; pimps, gangsters, loan sharks, all kinds of deplorable characters. Except the man at the front speaking.

Wearing a simple long sleeve T-shirt, battered jeans and sneakers, the pastor opened the Bible to the book of Hosea.
The words he spoke I'd heard before, but I was moved by them like never before. He spoke of God's love like I'd never heard it. So many were brought to tears, myself included.

When he had finished, we all sung "Amazing Grace." It was sung like it was a brand new song. I looked around at the people gathered this night and I thought to myself that this is the most real church I'd ever seen. Every person knew what we all were and that was okay; we're all humans.
This is the Red Light Church.