My heart
My soul
My sight
My years
My dreams
My life

Take them away
For I have never had them.

Pick me apart
Choose from my pile
Of shattered hopes.

Whichever one that fits.

They don't seem to suit me anyways.

They never last.
-Percy

I never realized until now.
How much you really changed me.
How much you really hurt me.

Its when I think about loving someone else.
I can only think of running away.
No matter how much I feel.

Even after everything.
I'm still trying to erase the memories you left behind.
Your shadow looms in my every step.

That maybe I do not deserve to love.
And maybe I never will.
I want to believe that I am wrong.

But not even the cards I shuffle in my hands will be able to prove me otherwise this time.

-Kore

She is all I will ever need.
My bruises and fractures have never healed as fast.
In her presence
her stare.

My flaws and my faults
Feeling all so far behind me.
The acts of wrath I committed
washed away in her gaze.

The gauze she wraps around my wrists
Like soft silk in her touch.
Everything I knew that I was
fades away from me like an unsound dream.

She patches up my worries and fears
With sweet nothings and her smile
That never fading smile.
She is all I will ever need.

What could I do when she is gone?
When I curb to the weight
Of being saved again and again
Without her.

She crumbles slowly everyday
I can see it.
There is no room in this world
To be kind.

I fall back into my old habits
The momentary peace in my life
is always disrupted
Whenever she walks out of my apartment door.

-Kore

Oh, you child!

Blessed be you are.

Born to be the one who is loved

You were made to be torn apart.

The angels cry and sing your name.

You were made to lose all you've earned.

Everything will be in time.

You are with no reason and no rhyme.

It will reach the depths where hell has not dug.

Your name and all the things you've done.

The world will be at your mercy.

And you will die, that is what you will do.

You will die over and over again.

You will skin what is left of your bones.

For those who will eat you whole and alive.

You will thank them for it you will thank him for it.

You will happily oblige.

Oh our sweet thorn born child.

The kisses and praise will litter your skin like an incurable plague.

You are my favourite.

And you will thank me for it.

-Percy

I screamed and begged for the world to say something.

Anything.

Your eyes hover upon my disheartened letters.

Do not leave me here to rot with all my ambitions at my feet.

Why are you looking at me like that? Say something.

That day she left me, she never loved me she says.

As I held the world in my arms

She smiles at me and I can only choke on the letters that she shoved down my throat.

That day I lost her.

And all the hope she gave me would only fall apart in my hands.

-Kore

Sometimes I forget out of habit
The short lived tale we had
Of a boy and a girl
Who dreamed of setting sail to better places.

To faraway lands of neon and brick
Where the city never sleeps
And the sun keeps its hold
Over the horizon where idealistic men are born.

Wistful gardens conceived from all
The burning eyes, tears and blood spilled
We were so young back then yet barely alive
Our souls and our hearts on the verge of losing to time.

But we had all we dreamed of suddenly all at once
Though I lost my battle you helped me to carry on
You cradled my fragile spirit and sung us a song
Of all the loss and the pain that never seemed to stop.

And you were happy, and I was happy
Prayers finally answered
We promised each other the world on the rooftop
Once upon a balcony on every distant star we could find.

But I sit now on the riverside
The one we escaped to when we were kids with my parents money
Do you remember it still?
The Marigolds have started wilting and withering on the steps.

I suppose in one way or another
We did not realize how shattered we both were
that such a calm bright day could catch us
Drowning in a storm of IV bags and morphine.

I sat beside you on your bed of flowers
Under the bright fluorescent sun everyday
Waiting and hoping that some day you'd wake up
That we could continue on the journey we promised to ourselves.

I could not be me, not without you
There was no life worth living that didn't include us
So I waited and waited
For the life I could not give up.

You promised me the oceans, the sky, the world
But I didn't care for that, no it didn't matter to me at all
For nothing could be worth it, no thing
Not a thing without you.

So I waited and I waited
I lived my life for as much as I could and I waited
And I waited by your side under the glow and the dark stars
You couldn't do this to me, you couldn't leave me

You who gave me hope
The reason life finally felt organic, like it meant something to me
The suffering was nothing and I would do it all over again
Just so I could meet you

So I waited, and I waited
Time was running out
My patience never wore thin but my eyes shut on their own
So I fell into my first slumber next to you in that cold white room.

And by the gods when morning finally fell
Like the first light of spring you were there
Stirring in your sleep, fighting to stay awake
And I felt the life return to my body.

You held my hand so weakly
You were fighting, weren't you?
So why did you look up at me with those eyes
And it was then I knew.

"I love you."
You told me over and over again
As if you were no longer going to be here to tell me that
As if you were going to die.

"Promise me you'll stay alive for me."
Your eyes were so dull that day
Your hands made me feel so cold
You told me you loved me, but no this can't be.

You can't leave me.

Then I heard it
The veil between us becoming closed at the sudden drop
And the ringing from the ECG machine echoing in my head and into the hallway.
Did I say anything? Did the Gods even hear me beg?

Everything I knew was gone just like that
My dreams, my hopes, and the humanity I thought I had.
Your words echoed into my head
I didn't say a ******* thing.

And just before I could be carried away by the arms
From your pale white sheets and hospital tags
The ringing never really stopped only this time it finally came out of my mouth as vitriol.
You were gone just like that.

And the only life I had suddenly ended that day too.

-Kore

Will my best ever be enough?

Will I ever heal?

Do I have to live the rest of my life like this?

Do I have to keep feeling like this?

How will I ever love again?

How can I ever trust anyone after what you've done?

Where did I go wrong?

Where is the happiness I so want to feel?

When did it start falling apart?

When will I finally leave this all behind?

Why do I feel nothing?

Why do I feel everything all at once?

What am I doing here still?

What did I do to deserve this?

Can I ever feel normal again?

Can I actually live my life, like this?

Who is at fault for this?

Who is there to blame other than myself?

Am I ok?

Am I perfect enough?

Will I ever be satisfied

Will I ever be happy again?

The questions only keep growing in the cell of disarray that is my mind.

Every single one fall on deaf ears.

-Kore

Why did it have to be like this.
I was always meant for more.
No, I know I did.
I deserved better.

But it will never be over.
I know that now.
That what's happened has happened
And that there is more to come.

How the lines are laid out.
All set to stone, my fate in the hands
Of some omnipotent fool.
There's not a ******* thing I can do.

Maybe things will be better
That's what I always hope at least
Maybe this time, it never hurts to try doesn't it?
But honestly, who am I kidding?

There really isn't a single thing
I can do to change what's inevitably going to come
All I can do is do
What I've always done.

Drown in my self -pity like the coward that I am.

-Kore

And what will happen when you leave me too?

Do I keep going or do I follow you?

Until I cant anymore.

As our bond always pulls me closer and closer to you.

Your gaze becomes inseparable with your warm and loving words.

It is torture to think that I could lose you too.

And when you walk away from my waking life I will stride every night in the ethereal plane.

Going to a place that we've always known and that only we will ever know.

Always to a home where things are better.

-Kore

My hands reach for the door
Exhausted, just another day.

We never fight.

The smell of your perfume still lingers in the air.
Just as the day you left me.

Did you always seem to hate me?

I daydream as I fall into the couch
The life we would've had.

All alone again.

Did I betray us?
Not even a goodbye.

We never fought.

I sleep in an all too familiar place reminding myself clearly.
Out of spite.

Just like that I'm out of excuses.

-Kore

You bought me metal sheets
bent in the shape of a heart.
after days of leaving me in the dark
wondering what I was going to eat

Sweet and bitter lumps I crush
between my hands
I eat my heart tonight
because maybe you’ll love me

You loved me enough to steal me
Under an unconditional facade
I forgave you every time
Hoping you’d hold me when I’m down.

But I will eat my heart gratefully
because you told me to
because that is all I can do
because that is all I am worth.

You can take nothing when it is left.
-Percy

I never thought I would live to see the day
When someone would finally give color and music
To my melting monochromatic world.

I wonder when it started to fall apart.
When our story we fought and gave our all to
would end the way it did.

All our hardships and the scars
that we both shared together slowly mending
while you disappeared off of the final chapter.

Not a single word left behind
you did not deserve to go as you did.
You always deserved better than this.

With you gone and leaving me only to wonder
where we went wrong.

And if I could've saved you somehow.

-Kore

What am I in for?

You tell me.

I ask and you show me
The things I have forgotten

I ask and you give me
The sins hidden in the back of my closet.

Who were you?

Does it matter?

Its too late to be sentimental
No amount of praying to a God you do not believe in will get you out of here.

It clicked in my head like the metallic trigger
So cool to the touch, in my hands.

I am only but a ***** sinner am I not?

To be hung in front of the masses
Have at me, I will burn for every stare and every smile.

You deserve this do you not understand?

I am fully aware of what I deserve.

We do not bury my kind in the pillars of this church
It is a shame but I have none.

Do you know what you are in for?

There is no point in being sentimental.

So make me a shrine and pray for me
But sinners do not deserve forgiveness.

And I do not want to be saved.

-Kore

A hollowed nest in a dessert.
Neon signs under a dark red sky.

Abandoned streets with no plaque.
A highway, the railings no longer intact.

Alleyways that never seem to end.
An empty shop that sells only pendants.

A trail of gravel lures me in
And the trees around me contort to every impossible shape.

A familiar path I've walked through many times.
Fading into an unfamiliar bright white.

The gravel twists and turns into smooth asphalt.
As a cold breeze pushes against my breathe.

The road buried under piles and mounds
Of white.

A familiar scent greets my body
I push through the ice flying through my sight.

A cabin buried in the snow.
I run and burst through the worn down door.

Disappointed with the empty state.
A *** of stew sitting in the fire place.

I sit in front of the embers until I feel human again.
Watching the storm through the frosted window.

I stand to sit on the crystallized porch.
Burying my head into my arms and chest.

I pray for the first time since I was 10.
Praying for something to hear me screaming.

I watched the stew and the fire freeze over instead.

And I stay stuck buried and cradling my head.

Until the heaps of snow bury me and this ******* cabin.

-Persephone

The pain never sets in
and I hope it never will.

But when midnight strikes
and my vision starts to shift.

No more comforting voices
to hold and soothe me.

No more reassurance
no more distractions.

Its at these hours of the night
that I can feel it staring bullets at my back.

And everything that's happened simply starts to collapse.

What's left of my sentient mind can only convulse
as I relive things that are better left unknown.

The misfortune in every coming of age
who would've guessed.

All I can wish at these times is that I were eternally dead.

-Kore

"You know that I'll die eventually right?" She shifted in my arms avoiding the glaring light coming through the window.

"You're going to lose me again..."

I brushed back the hair irritating her teary eyes and looked at her with the same tenderness that she always gives me. A smile tugs at the ache in my heart, I knew that she knew how we would end but having her right here felt so worth it.

"But don't you remember darling? We've already met before." I said holding her gaze, she gives me the same hopeful smile.

"I will scour every inch of this plane and beyond just to be with you over and over again." She chuckles, there it is again, she truly melts me.

"I did not peg you for the commitment type." She lays her forehead on mine rubbing circles on my back. The sun dances around the room, filling the unwanted space between us.

"How can I not." I whisper, I cannot even  begin to describe what being there felt like and I could only want more as my heartbeat kept echoing in my head. She pushes herself closer to me her presence  burning away the dim future coming for us.

"Then I'll never forget." She says.

Then again, I don't think I ever could.

-Kore

Trapped
In the claws of yesterday.

Waiting around the bend for its jaw to unhinge.

Dreams
Of a better time.

They circle in my mind.
I still remember your voice like it's today.

Walking to nowhere I will go.
For the sake of going.

Let me be the first to reach the end
Without knowing.

I always come back to you
Somehow.

Staring at my screen
Rewound

Start from the beginning
Unfound.

Let me go
On this dreary night I will end.

Today

I almost lost your voice, again.

-Rain

When I listened to you
I thought I was ending.

But that was 4 years ago
And tonight I feel like I'm switching and turning and unwinding on the darkly lit floors.

Listening to you, again.

Im going to go through it all over again
And I am hoping that this time
When I forget what your voices sound like
I won't be scared.

That when I tear myself to dust
I won't have to lose myself to you.
And I can love you all the same
Without you holding me by my ribs.

Because I've been ending and beginning over and over again on the same lines, same recordings we did during ungodly hours. The same arguments and beats that won't stop mocking me. Your laughter and the way you would run back to me and leave me hanging all in the same week.

I'm ready to begin again without you.

For real this time.

-Percy

If I could choose to
I would not.
I would not forget you.

Even if it is bliss.

To be ignorant.
-Rain

Who am I to believe
That you won't leave me
With my heart still tearing
Fraying at the seams.

Who am I to believe
That you would follow me
All I can do is scream
At nothing, at only what I wish I could say.

You remind me of everything
All the regrets
And all the things I should have said
Stuck and lodged at the back of my throat.

If I begged you to stay
If you told me the truth
How will I know.
How pathetic I am.

I wish I was angrier
But all I feel are the tears
That ripple under my feet
Echoing all the doubt that I feel.

When will you leave.
When will I leave?
But I know if we did
I would stay waiting for nothing.

And I am in the dark again
Trying to forgive what you've done
But it only keeps hurting
It only keeps aching.

We promise we'd begin again
But who am I?
Who am I to believe you?
All I can hear from you now is lies.

The feelings I no longer wish to have
Come crashing down on me
Like my guilty conscience
At a confession booth.

Everything hurts, that's all I can really tell you now.

-Kore

I am staying away
For your sake and mine
I fear that when you see me
And meet my gaze for the first time in a while.

You will see an empty hallowed shell of a moth that never made it.
Flying around my empty pupils behind my empty mind.
I don't want you to shake me looking for answers.
Peering through my eyelids hoping for something to be there.

In my restless unending dreams.
I find the person I used to be.
My warm embrace and desperation.
To love you as you have always deserved, unconditional.

As the months pass by I feel my heart beat slower.
I yearn for a simpler time when caring for people here was enough.
I want to ******* slap that smile off my face in my memories.
Actually believing that my love can make things last forever.

I do not feel love now.
The moths have eaten my heart
Like cloth.
I put my hand to my chest constantly to see if it will ever return again.

I am sorry I was so weak.
To let the moths eat me alive.
That I let the slurry of flies pick at my mind,
Leaving me rotten like I know I've always been.

You who deserve the best of me.
My warm embrace and love.
I am so sorry that I cannot be enough.
My heart has been torn to nothing but dust.

Where did it all go so wrong.
I desperately want to feel something.
Other than the painful pang that often comes.
The phantom pains of having no heart.

I feel so empty, I feel so hollow.
I feel unreal, I am scared of you.
Seeing me this way.
Seeing me be a hollow monster, putting on a face that I know you won't believe.

I can't feel anything.
And it's scaring me.
I don't want you to be scared of me.
I don't want you to watch the lies fly out of my mouth.

And what if those moths and the things that have eaten my insides.
What if you watch me morph into something that will make you sick?
I don't want you to see how ****** up I am.
How disgusting, how monstrous, how angry, how destructive I can truly be.

I am at the mercy of this growing emptiness
That I've hidden from you
That all the love I used to have would madly over.
I want you to see how I want to be, not this.

Anything but this.

Cherish me in your memories.
As someone who loves you because I do.
Who cares to chase you.
My unconditional words will always be and always have been real.

Right now only wretched dust comes out of my mouth, the moths pretend to be me.

I love you too much
To let you see
That the moths have eaten my mind
And my heart.

Like cloth.

-Percy

Sometimes I sit by the top of the stairs

I gaze down the steps longingly one by one.

And I wonder how long?

How long would it take for me to be found.

My blood trailing down the steps of every brick.

My beady eyes staring into the front door.

While I am gone.

I am gone.

To rest for good.

Your shadow blocks my way.

I wake up to disorienting music in my ears.

The colours of my window blur.

Your laughter echoes in my ears.

I think the rain just hit my eyes.

Maybe I've forgotten why I'm alive.

-Percy