I'll tell you why i like being at home.

It's the silence.
Not a sound can be heard.
No footsteps in the hallway,
Or cars driving by.

It's the darkness.
The curtains are just  thicker and darker,
And light ceases to pass through.
Not even light slips beneath the door.

It's the bliss.
When I look up as I lay in bed,
All I see is the darkness.
And in the darkness can be whatever I want it to be.
I dream while awake...
Because when I close my eyes all I see are nightmares.

You were as simple a man as you needed to be.
You'd sit us by the bedside,
And read us a story.

I remember the way you joked,
Even about your darkening heart.
You never wasted a day,
Not till the day of your depart.

I knew how you wanted to go,
Peacefully with the breeze
That carried along your soul.
I knew that you never wanted us to cry,
The jolly old man,
That would never want to bring a tear to an eye.

You were a king in your own right,
The humble man on a throne.
True kings aren't buried in coffins of gold,
Their buried in our hearts,minds... and souls.

Sometimes I want to start a war.
Burn to the ground all that lays on this plain,
Till nothing but ashes lies in my wake.

Is it wrong that I relate more to the Villian than the Hero?
That when I think of power,
I think of control?

Is it not scary...
That when the rage subsides,
I'd still stand by these dark thoughts?
I want to burn it all to the ground,
Myself included.
Then maybe it all can begin anew,
And none to come will share these thoughts.

I used to fall in love.
I'd feel every fibre of my being ignited,
Every atom in my body excited,
And in the majesty of happiness I felt purpose.

When I would write,
I wrote.
I felt the words fountain from the tip of my pen,
Like each piece knew what it was meant to be.

Everything made sense on a page.
And I always smiled,
Proud of what I displayed.

I wish I could write on that passion once more...

I know all too well what it's like
To feel sidelined.
Walking on the outlines
Of the portrait of a lifetime,
Part of the background,
With muted sound.
Feeling like there's nowhere to look,
But down.

I get it.
Feeling your heart beat,
But your hearts don't meet,
And you wish the feeling was not this sweet.
Your mind tells your heart to retreat
But it's not as simple a feat,
And as you walk away
So to does your mind stray,
Till you can all but see the light of day.

It hurts to be the watcher.

The kids run amok
Setting fire and flame.
Trying to fix the world to which they lay claim,
Yet burn to ground all the good that remains.


Ignorance is the very thing that they oppose,
Yet ignorantly they justify the way that it is shown.
Pulling close the blackout curtains,
No light dare reach their shallow minds,
Filled with dreams of A freedom,
Yet robbing it blind.

All the things defended,
Yet they remain so easily offended.
When words don't come out as clear as intended
They twist it and turn till it is all but mended,
Then fight valiantly for its defeat
Looking not at any of the good,
But only at bad tweets.

Following the crowd,
A mob that only looks down at their feet.
March for it all and fill the streets,
Never looking at the facts,
Because it does not fit the narrative that they preach.


These kids run amok.

Hypothetically if I fell in love,
 I'd love you the world over.
Hypothetically if you were mine,
You'd be my moon and my sun,
With a hold on my heart and my mind.

Hypothetically if I could only do one thing a day,
I'd sit at your side,
Laughing all the way.
Hypothetically if I had to chose,
There would not be a thought of any but you.

Hypothetically if you loved me,
Loved me like I love you.


Hypothetically if you could see me ...
The way that I see you.

I'm tired of walking in the dark.
Marching through the abyss,
With my sight set on light.
Hoping I'll find dawn at the end of the night.

It's cold when the sun doesn't shine.
So I wrap my arms around myself,
And say that I'm fine.

I struggle to dream of the light...
So long gone that it seems out of sight.

Oh little one,
You try to stand too soon.
Looking up at the stars,
With not a glance at the moon.

Oh little one,
Trying to run for the finish
To cover the most ground,
But never stopping to looking around.

Oh little one, Oh little one,
You stumble and fall down.
I hear your scream and your call.
Yet the best I can do,
Is let you lift yourself from the fall.

Under a tree he sits and sings,
strumming away to his heart's desire.
A man with a thought,
And a heart filled with fire.

You can hear it in his voice,
Both the pain and the pleasure.
The roughness from his throat,
As he tells you what he treasures.

You'll never see him without that guitar at his side.
He may lie when he speaks,
But there's no mistaking the truth when he sings.

Fall to the depths,
Away with yourself!
You drown and try scream,
But not a soul hears your cry for help.

Sinking into the abyss,
There is much solitude in this.
As above, so below,
We remain alone.

From the void I pull myself,
As only I can do.
Yet as I surface,
So to do I begin to sink once more.

Somewhere along the road I lost my way.
I let the breeze take me through the mists,
And like the clouds I drifted away.

I fell to the mud,
Felt the darkness drench the light of my soul
As the barren trees curled overhead,
And I succumbed to the sorrow down the rabbit hole.

Finding myself in a place most strange,
I stumbled getting up,
Yet soon found it easy walking this way.
Onwards I strode,
And so much further I rode.

As the sun shone down,
I found my way upon this road.

Do you feel trapped?
Bound by your own fear?

Do you too fail yourself,
Before taking a chance at success?
Find yourself having a heart wrapped in the chains of a mind too fearful to risk a broken heart?

Too scared to feel,
Knowing what it's like to love,
Yet not knowing what it's like  to be loved.

I want to live on the high I feel
When I see you.
I want to fall into the skies,
That lay within your eyes.

Feel my heart flutter,
As my words stutter.
I can't help but be humbled by your grace.

Tired of living on a rollercoaster of a high,
Because I know it only lasts when I'm  by your side.
I'd rather lie in this pool of infinity,
Then be swept away by the endless tide.

Tread lightly on those with fragile hearts,
Broken before and bare the scars.

Slowly their heads do lower from the stars,
As shattered hearts make love feel barred.

These playful souls will still play your game,
And willingly fall all the same,
Hoping someday their heart is seen,
And someone takes claim.

I've gotten this far,
Who's to challenge my place
When I've fought or so long,
And fell victim to this state.

I'm up in the clouds,
The high's have never felt this low.
To reach for the stars,
Yet sit so far below.

I'm falling now,
Falling on the rise,.
Look deep,
You'll see the red in my eyes

I'm just too tired to do this anymore.
It hurts too much,
Seeming to me as if this painful journey isn't worth the destination,
No matter how beautiful.

Why risk a broken heart,
When i know that I'll never be given the chance.
Why step closer,
When i know I'll never get one dance.

It pains me,
That I should say love would not be worth it.
But it pains me more,
To have never had a mended heart.

There it is, can you feel it?
Again and again it beats,
Over and over,
It reminds you that you are alive.

It tells you that you should be burning.
The spark that lit the fire,
And set no less than the world ablaze.

Again it beats,
Over and over,
Only another reminder of how far we've gone.
It reminds you that you've gone nowhere.

It tells you that you should be burning,
But you were barely a flicker,
Put out by the rain.

What if the only burning you ever faced,
Was what brought you the most pain.

I used to listen to the same song every morning.
It made me cry.

Everyday I sat on the bus,
On my face i looked fine,
But on the inside I cried.
I screamed so loud,
Hoping the gods would hear my howl.

"Bleed your heart out," I told myself.
"But when you walk through that door,
Smile."

The feeling of hopelessness lingers on my heart,
I watch lovers come close,
And feel myself fall further apart.

I hate this day as of late
When two hearts collide,
And as if per fate,
Mingle in a flurry of majesty.

It pulls on my heart,
And I cannot pull myself away.
Oh the beauty of love given a day,
Only reminds me that my heart is on its way.

Bells ring in my head.
The sound echoes infinitely throughout my mind.
A thought I can't forget,
That lingers on all other thoughts.

It leeches from the world around,
Stealing the sound and leaving naught but silence...
And the ringing.

Taken from the present,
It pulls me far into the depths of my mind,
Where sight does not reach
And so too, are the other senses blind.

Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
I'm too scared to open that door.

Lately I've been sleeping more,
Close the curtains and lock the door.
Frankly life just seems like a chore,
When I'm awake it's just such a bore.

I'm waiting on something to stir me.
Waiting for something to purge me,
Cleanse me from these dark thoughts
That rouse demons from my heart now.
I'm trapped in a cycle  of negativity,
And I need something to pull me out.

I'm waiting for good news,
But nothing ever goes my way.
So I put down my head like I do my hopes,
Because it's not as disappointing this way.

You can't be let down if you never raise your hopes too high,
So I'd rather stay on the ground than risk  falling from the sky.

Would you be willing to pay for a smile?
For something that blinds you of pain for a while?

Would you be willing to fit the bill,
To feel atop the highest hill?

Would you be able to take the fall,
When it all wears out,
And your demon's call?

How long will you pay to keep running?
How long before your time runs out?
How long before what you snort in,
Can no longer pull you out?

All the while with a wide grin,
He'll stand at the sidelines and sell you a sin.
And you'll breath in and hold another hit,
Then one day you'll breath in...

And that will be it.

Imagine a warm sunset,
The orange glow upon the furthest wave,
Or the burning sky,
From a forest glade.

Imagine the breeze against your cheek,
Where all remained silent,
And not even the trees dare creak.

Imagine the stars,
The way they sparkled in the sky,
And when you turned your head,
You saw the same in their eyes.

Imagine ...
If all you could do... was imagine.

I laugh through my words
So my pain goes unheard.
I joke through my darkest hour,
To drain the pain of power.

You won't see me frown,
But that doesn't mean I'm okay.
I'll take the crown,
"King of laughs,"you say.
I'll take the crown,
But the pain doesn't wash away.

Dive in deep with me,
Let the waves wash over
And take us to eternity.

Hold me in your arms
And I'll hold you in mine,
Let the blue of the water,
Replace that of the sky,
But none of it matters like the blue in your eyes.

We'll sink fathoms below,
Where none dare go.
We'll go further down than the world knows,
And find paradise in a world unknown.

We'll drown in our love,
As bubbles pop at the surface.

When last had I seen you?
Frolicking across the burning sand,
Hand in hand.

Oh sweet Summer,
When last did you grace me with your presence?
What did I do to deserve this sentence?
Or is this my own penance?

Oh sweet Summer,
Is it you that bars my entrance?
Oh cruel Winter,
Is it you that will not let me go?
Or is it me,
That keeps myself alone?

Where do I go from here,
When I'm standing at the edge of my fear.

Drowning in an ocean of regret,
From this dismal course I've set.

Restart...please.

Take pity on those with fragile hearts,
Whose wounds don't heal,
But bear scars.

Open hearts bleed dry,
When open eyes set sight on the vast sky.

Immortal hearts but mortal bodies,
Soul and heart hold tight as mind and body let go.

Pity the fool who seeks love undying,
But praise those foolish enough to find it.

Dressed in red, you approached me.
I dare say you impressed,
Yet I expected nothing less.

You lifted your hand and I took to a knee,
Kissing it gently.

"I love you," I said.
And back you whispered words that need not be spoke,
The same words I had.

I finally found a place to escape,
Where i don't feel like there's an axe about to strike at my nape.

I know the executioners name,
Because when he pulls of that mask,
I just see my own face.

They say that everyone has a purpose but I just can't find my meaning,
I look out into the vastness of the world and I'm screaming,
But nobody hears me,
And that's what scares me.
Screaming into a void not empty but hollow,
They say if I want to make it, it's my feelings I have to swallow.

"Focus on the money,
So you can support a family,
Go nine to five everyday,
That'll make you happy."
But I can't see myself at a desk,
Just writing lines,
That lack all meaning,
But fits the bottom line.

I'm sorry I don't subscribe to your definition of happiness,
Sorry that I have a different view on what happy is.
Sorry that I don't want to be a doctor or an engineer.
Sorry that I'd rather write words than do mathematics all year.

No, im not sorry.
You told me to live life.
That's what I'm doing.
This is how I live, through my work and my art...
This is how I want to leave my mark.

Excuse my drunken heart and the words I say,
Excuse the slips of my tongue as my mind slips away.

Sorry for the thoughts you won't understand me slur.
Sorry for the lines that don't make sense
because I speak without context.
Sorry for the truths I told
that were never meant to be heard.
Sorry I made you worry...

I pierce my heart with my own ambition,
A predisposition of a boy with mission,
To find a love story and make his own rendition.

He believes in the stories he sees on TV,
And to a fault he’ll let love lead.
His life dictated by the end goal of love,
Shown the world yet deprived of it all.

The pain of the lonely lover,
Who hands his heart to those in need,
Taking it back in pieces,
But believing one day it’ll be returned whole.

Walking this earth with a heart of woolen steel,
He finds himself always lonely,
Although never alone.

Fledgling hearts,
Torn from nests of clouds.
Soon you'll find,
What lies through these misty plains.

Flightless souls,
That have never flown,
Close enough to fire,
To burn in heaven.

Fall or fly,
Hearts will raze or rise.
Pray you'll glide among the winds,
And hold a heart between your wings

It's the tiniest things,
That match a picture in my mind.
Little pieces of a puzzle,
That complete me.

It's the silliest things,
Things we can't believe we both do.
I love the way we laughed about those
Like the weird ones in the class,
With an inside joke that noone else got.

It's the most relatable things,
You make me feel like I'm not alone.
No matter the madness of the idea
Or the terribleness of it all,
With you I feel like I'm not alone in it.

It's the best things.
The time I spend with you...
It's just the best thing ever.
No matter how long or short,
I'll always crave for a moment of your time
To enjoy a little piece of perfection.

Love was what you said,
Yet the ***** on my finger bleeds just as red
As the roses you'd give as an apology,
With words drained of heart.

Thorns pierce my skin
As you do my heart.
Petals shed as life fades,
And from red to black they fall away.

A rose,
By any other name,
Still bares thorns all the same.
Hold careful
When held to heart,
Even the smallest blades can tear your apart.

Late night texts and conversations,
These heart to hearts that break expectations.
Everybody thought that they knew me,
They take one look and think they see through me.
I know that I taught you different,
You finally saw what everyone else was missing.

But it'll go too far ,
I'll get too close.
I'll fall for you hard,
And hope you never know.
I'll break my heart to keep you.
I never really told anyone about my fears.
How scared I am of losing you,
Because it wouldn't be the same without you here.
Just hold back the tears,
Pretend I'm okay.
The boy searching for love,
But never having it come his way.

I guess I'll just wait,
Pray for a love story that doesn't come too late,
Or not at all.
I guess I'll just wait,
Because falling in love with friends like you
Is just a recipe for heartbreak.

The mists are beautiful at night.
They hold you in their cool embrace,
And crickets songs keep you trapped in this place.

You must see through these clouds of smoke,
That veil horrors of which you can't cope.
Those who control the vile smoke machines,
Are those with hands all but clean.

Most people don't see it,
Most people don't want see it.
But some people ...
Live to expose it.

I feel my heart on the decline.
My love for love recedes into the deepest crevices of my mind.
It hurts too much to leave your heart open.
In a world so cold,
The breeze only makes it frozen.

I'd rather walk steady with a heart of stone,
A lone wanderer through the night.
It hurts less when you've chosen to be alone.
I'll have those close to me,
But never too close.
I'll keep my heart at a distance.
And hold affection I suppose.

As long as I no longer have to feel this way,
For thoughts of finding love come and ruin my day.
No longer do I wish to fall in love,
No longer do I wish to be hurt.

It's a different kind of lonely,
Don't act like you know.
You've been single for a few weeks,
I've been alone all of my life though.

I'm a romantic with noone to be romantic with,
It's like there's no horses for the chariots.
So my heart's just racing.
Over and over I'm pacing,
Wondering if I'm fighting a battle and it's this world that I'm facing.
Because there's no romantics,
And it feels quite tragic
That  these things I read in books are only dreams and magic.
There's noone that I have seen looking for love and what it means,
Just a few one night stands
And none of that works for me.

I feel alone.
Like love is going extinct.
And I'm one of the last ones,
But that's just what I think.

Broken.
                                                It's all broken.
                Shattered.
Shhhhh!
                                                 Quiet!
                                                                                      Too loud, too loud!
It's so dark,                                      so lonely.
No           no no!                                               Just let me be!
No more thoughts.
                                              I hate it!
No more voices, no more voices
                                                             no more voices!

Don't let me sleep,
                                                        it's too bright in my
dreams.
But
                                it's too dark to survive here.

I find myself fearing my computer screen of late.
What I write there scares me,
It’s all too real.

It lacks the rhyme of what I’ve wrote on my phone,
And digs deeper into my soul,
Forcing me to feel.
It is raw.
Untapped in recent days,
Something of which I stay clear of.
Why would I call upon it?
Life got better, could I not just leave that darkness be?
But then it got bad again, life that is.
It got darker...
The smiles from the screen of my phone couldn’t compensate for that.
I felt the words fading as I tried to place my thoughts on a 5-inch screen.
There was no magic in this.
I knew what I wanted to show,
But I couldn’t do it there.

It doesn’t really make much sense,
Words are words...right?
All I know is that in front of this screen,
This laptop screen,
I’m more in tune,
More in sync.
It hurts so much more,
But I ******* love it.

In my spare time I look for quotes,
Words truly worthy of note.
Love is where i land,
Looking for thoughts with an outreaching hand
To tell me I'm not alone.

I think hard and fall deep
As i stare at these words,
Envisioning what they speak.

"I'll tell you what love is," they say.
I agree in a way.
But it always leaves me running through a Labyrinth in my mind,
Searching for the love that I wish to find.

What do I want that's worthy of note,
That someone will someday see,
And feel the emotion in what I've wrote?

"Love is stupid. It's illogical. It's broken. Yet somehow it's the most fulfilling feeling there is. Love is when a smile is enough, and you'd do anything for it."

I'd send you morning texts,
Using a cute yet slightly mean nickname for you.
I'll ask what you're doing today,
You'll saying," Nothing"
So I'll ask if you wanted to do nothing with me.

We'd go to university.
I'd skip some classes if it meant I could see you.
We'd go sit somewhere on the grass beneath the shade.
None of that romantic *******,
Just enjoying each other's company.

On weekends we'd go shopping together.
You'd pester me every time I lifted a sweet,
Sometimes I wouldn't listen,
Other times I'd sigh, "Fine".
We'd get some fast food before heading home,
Standing in front of menus looking for the best deal.

But sometimes I'd take you out.
We'd go somewhere with a dress code,
Where the waiters wore suits and a candle sat on each table.
I'd sit in front of you, mesmerized.
And as I do everyday, I'd say you look beautiful.
You'd smile and blush and it would warm my heart.

Night would come,
We'd sit beside each other if we had the time.
Talking absolute ******* and laughing over the stupidest things.
Sometimes you'd fall asleep in my arms over a movie,
I loved those times.
Sometimes you'd say you have to leave,
And even then we'd sit texting till one of us fell asleep.
But oh how I dreaded the moments I had to see you leave,
Though it made me cherish the moments when you'd approach me.

(Anthem -noun
A rousing or uplifting song identified with a particular group, body, or cause.)

Sing it loud, sing it proud,
Oh hearts that march lonely through the crowd.
Let speakers blare,
Blow love through the air
And show the world to love.

Us broken hearted fools,
Who've lost love or have not a clue.
We march on through pain with our song,
With the hope of love that keeps us strong.

Us romantics,
No matter how broken and bruised,
The thought of finding love will pull us through.
And we look to the future,
Knowing it'll be worth the wait,
If we find someone to hold,
Till the end of our days.

Pain like no other,
Visualized from the droplets that slide down a cheek.
Like the clearest of blood dripping from the eye,
But bleeding from the heart.

More than just the liquid pours out.
Shirts stained with head pressed to chest,
And words seep through lips wrinkled,
As sadness takes over and deprives of rest.

Sticks and stones,
I'd rather have broken bones.
For these eyes bleed worse
Than any bruise could ever be.

Walking in the heat,
You can't see my heart as I walk down this street.

I look so average,
Headphones on
And it seems like I'm gone.

But in my head it's like a colourful dream,
Words come through the speakers
And in my head I scream.
Dancing in my head
Through a world shifting to the melody,
Feeling the rise and the fall
Of my mental remedy.

I'm in a music video,
Pouring my soul into a visual daydream.
Time slows as the song goes mellow,
Or hits maximum velocity through the buildup before the blow.

I'm in my own place,
This magical escape of a headspace.
The best part is that in reality,
None of it leaves a trace.

I look back at all the things that I've done,
For a girl that i never won.

All the trinkets that sparkled
Under the moonlit sky.
Accompanied by a silence
As i waited for a reply.

All the smiles i created,
Just to see you elated
For a moment
That lasts forever in mine eyes.

All the poems writ and read
But never read.
The longing for you to understand the words,
Yet at the same time, not .


And after all the sorrows,
After all the pain,
I'm still where I started.
Standing in-front of a girl,
Trying to make her smile.

Forever and always,
You'll be my first love.
My first thought in the morning,
my last thought at night.

Forever and always,
You'll be able to make me smile.
You could bring me down with a word,
And make me rise with another.

Forever and always,
I'll talk of you to the world.
Forever and always,
Will you mean the world to me.
Forever
And always.