Stranded in darkness
by the hands of warmth

Wounded heart
sank so deep

Colder and colder
Alone and broken

Foolish self
never learned the lesson

Hoping for love
ascended from the hurt

Walked into the garden
where colors mask agony

Sweet little lies
Swooned the vulnerable

Fell for a rose
smiled so beautifully

Anxiety rushed in
held it tight

Stung by its thorns
cried for help

Cried all alone
colder and colder

Scars to the deep
alone and broken, again.

Vicious cycle of hope
Crippled the innocent

Again and again
nightmares and flowers

Again and again
Fancied and abandoned

Again and again
love and despair

Again and again
alone and broken.

Her soul is so drunk on dreams
but, what you see her,
a soulless sober
is just an illusion projected from
her fear of rejections and failures.

Just wait till this magical girl
blows off all her fears.
Once she drops the veil
her drunken soul will run wild
chasing her beautiful dreams.

I thought I was fine.
I thought I became numb
after the last time I was broken.
Why does it hurt multiple times harder this time?
Why is this loneliness so exclusive
that nobody else knows my pain?
I am falling deeper and deeper
and nobody even senses my absence.
Why could nobody hear me scream?
Where are all the heads that I lent my shoulder
now that I need some shoulder to bury my tears?
Why couldn't I find comfort in any of the eyes around me?
Why do I feel left out from the whole universe?
Why couldn't my heart take the fact
that nobody cares enough to pull me out?
Where did it all go wrong?
Why am I not enough for myself?
Why am I not enough to pick myself up this time?
Why do I keep looking for hope
in places that I could never get hope?
Why is it so hard this time?
Just why?

"Ladies and Gentlemen... Here comes the..."
.
.
The artist walks towards the stage as he hears the cue,
.
.
"Costume, check.
Makeup, check.
Smile, check.
Confidence, check"
He ticks all his mind checklist for one last time
as he walks towards the spotlight
just like those fireflies attracted to lights.
Getting out of the backstage
leaving behind all his doubts and worries,
His courage steps on to his own canvas
to create his own masterpiece.

Amidst the dramatic lights and
music that stirs emotions,
Given all the audience's attention
Feels like he is the center of gravity
attracting all the curious eyes.

Holding in a dynamic mix of
excitement, nervousness and boundless happiness
He bursts out his hardwork and professionalism.
.
.
.
.
.
"Thank you"
With the ending note
all he remembers is the applause
and the audience reactions
that mirrored exactly what he imagined
while creating the masterpiece,
and his performance remains
like a lucid dream in his memory.

As he walks down the stage
anybody could see the satisfaction
he proudly carried over his shoulders.

Finally I understand
why nobody could
pull me out of
my solitude.

Because, I am so good at
playing hide and seek
that I hid my lonely self,
very well
that no loving soul
could ever find it .

It is always
your smile
that makes this dark cruel world
a little less scary.

If not for your smile
my eyes would have forgotten
the warmth of light
going blind
lost forever,
in this infinite darkness.

Good night,
Sweet dreams.
Ever wondered,
what happens
a few moments later
You say that to me?

Sometimes,
Darkness being filled
with fond memories.
Sometimes,
Unleashing
my unconscious cravings.
Sometimes,
waking up to
my worst nightmares.
Either way,
Giving life to
A parallel world,
never expected to exist.

Some days,
I would be
at my own funeral
watching over
the heavy tears of
my 16-year-old self.
Some days,
I would be
reading my favorite book
in a cozy cabin
amidst a dense forest
out of nowhere.

Some days
Just pass by,
With me walking
Over hundreds of miles
Of unknown trails
With known strangers.
And some days
just pass by,
with me dying out of
every possible accidents
I could encounter.

And Few places
are possessed
with people from the past,
haunted by
long gone memories,
chased by forgotten souls.
But never got caught
Neither been saved.

So, This is how
my dreams are curated.
Inconsistent mix of
Endless escape games
and clueless cosplays,
with no hints
neither special costumes.

It isn't easy
To sway like a puppet
Tied to the strings of
Circumstantial emotional needs.

It isn't easy
To breathe behind this mask
Hiding the rolling tears
Serving all the cultural ABCs.

It isn't easy
To stay buried
In this mound of false faces
Concealing a whole another utopia.

It isn't easy
To accept bitter bribes
For all the selfless sins
With these pure hands.

It isn't easy
To make myself believe
In the insanely rational normality
Of this destructive chaos.

Since i was a child I have been asking this question around.
I got diverse answers but nothing discreet.
Granny always said our souls reach god.
Mom said we all become stardust.
My teacher said we just become fossils.

Eventually I realized.
Nobody really dies.
A piece of them
is deeply engraved in our souls.
They are very much alive
in the space in between their loved ones.
In our memories, they are still warm.
In the past our eyes project
they are still breathing.
In every keepsakes they have left  
we are together.
In all the frames hanging out there
they are still smiling.

No one really dies,
Until every ounce of the memories
tracing their soul
are completely erased.

Let's runaway
You and me.
Just you and me.
Just like how we dreamt,
Just the way we always wanted.
In one of those long trains,
That takes us to destiny.
Along with the other bunch of curious eyes,
Ours being the brightest,
Hand in hand, lovey dovey,
Blending with stardust,
Let's get lost in our dreams.

Come, Lets runaway

From all these planned chaos,
Organised crimes, so called selfless responsibilities.
Let's free ourselves from this cage.
This cage, locked by the society.
We've gotta escape it.
Not like those dewdrops slipping through the leaf,
But like the warriors breaking through the fortification.

Come, Lets runaway,

I don't know where
Let's just run till we find our destination.
Inevitably this will be a long run,
But this will never be tiring
Because we are together.
We will be tormented with storms
Don't be scared, we are together.
We will survive the storm.
When the journey gets harder
Don't be flustered, never step back.
Hold my hand tight, we'll be fine.
Trust me, this is what our every single heartbeat wished for.
Every breath out of our lungs went in search of this quest.
Lets get it and feed our souls.

Come, Lets run away.

Isn't it weird, how
My unsettled mysteries
are solved
With your missing pieces.

If you are too lazy to read poems
Just look at the mirror, love
God's gracious poetry
I would say.

Like the rainbow
born out of rain,
My love
born out of your tears,
is just
A momentary beauty.

Sometimes love is
Untangling hearts
with Twisted emotions

With those lonely bare branches,
Goodbye kisses of the dropping leaves,
And lonely leaves gathered into heaps,
Street scenes with yellowish tint,
Like it was washed with calmness.
Somehow this sad season gives solace.

A crackpot, don't get closer
I thought to myself when I first saw you
Little did the poor me knew
I would end up loving you.
We were living in completely different worlds,
With extremely opposite principles
I denied everything you said, you did
And you were no different
Still I found something comfortable in you
I started telling u all my boring histories
Cussing out the double crossers I have met
Ranting out the regrets of my life
Crying over my first love failure and whatnot
I gave out almost every memory my brain held
You always listened discreetly
To the gibberish coming out of me.
I was able to show the genuine me
Without the fear of being judged,
You saw right through my mind
Like it was a clear glass piece
When it was all dark and dull.
You solved every puzzle of me
Whenever i came with a broken picture.
You came like a summer to me
When my eyes had long rainy days.
I fell sick you nursed me like my mom,
Took wrong turns, you guided me like my dad,
You give advices like my granny,
We sticked together like we were twins,
We fought like we were foes,
You looked after me like a lover.
Now, you have become my crackpot
My family, my love, my fundamental person
Under a single label
My Best friend !!!

I came across this guy
Who had the exact same eyes as yours
Maybe it was different
Those eyes couldn't reflect me
Like yours did
But that doesn't mean
I miss you

I heard this song
You sang to me
Your voice flashed in my mind
That honey voice
I could never get tired of
But that doesn't mean
I can call u at 2 a.m

I saw this picture
Where our eyes were still smiling together
Not knowing what happened to us
But that doesn't mean
I would be happier
If we were together

I went to the place
Where we went often
The one filled with our stories
I saw you with her
For the first time
Your smile trampled my smile
But that doesn't mean
I regret letting go of your hands

Your memories haunt me everywhere
This doesn't make sense
There is always this little part of you
That got struck in me
That can never be cherished
Never be despised
But that doesn't mean
I still love you

My best friend !!!
The one who never left me alone
At the zenith or at the rock bottom,
Wherever I stand
Chaos! You were always standing beside me
Maybe you should love me little lesser
For me to be a little clearer

So here I am again
The sky drowned in darkness
The stars buried behind the clouds
The little rain droplets endlessly kissing the ground
The air completely drunk with Petrichor

With no eyes opened around
Me sitting amidst all the deadlines
With all the unanswered texts
Still thinking of words to reply
To all the unanswered calls
Still thinking of excuses to make

And the brain scanning the memories
For a good one to replay
A warm one to smile away
A beautiful one  worth reminiscing
Unfortunately the scanning ends in vain

Finally when eyes persuade to sleep
The birds started chirping and cheering
For the sun to rise again

You just standing in  front of me
Makes my heart race as if I ran for miles

Your voice makes me go crazy
As if I got hit ******* my head

Your smile can fly into dimensions
As if I got struck in a paradox.

All my nights are just sinking boats
Drowning deep into the river of regrets
And me not realizing
myself being pulled down  
along with the boat.