Forged.
Forged in fire.
It’s the fire that burned you.
The fire that was all consuming.
The fire that melted you down into nothing,
Or so you thought.
Forges are hot.
They cause pressure to make you change.
And without change,
A sword would still be metal.
A metal would still be rock,
And a rock would never become a diamond.
Pressure is important.
It hurts at first,
But then it strengthens you.
Strengthens you to something stronger.
Stronger than diamond.

I feel fractured.
Fractured into a million pieces.
Like the mirror that was hit
Or the bowl that was dropped.
Now I kneel on the floor,
Staring at the pieces.
How do I fix it?
Can I fix it with gold?
Like the ancient art of kintsugi?
But what if I can’t find the gold?
What if I continue to kneel
In the fractured pieces of my soul.
The pieces that continue to cut deep.
Because I am fractured,
Fractured into a million pieces.

Anxiety.
It eats you from the inside out.
It claws and tears its way through your ribs,
Like a staving hyena desperate for food.
It is chained inside with no way out.
Chains that drag you deep into the water.
Deep into a dark void.
A void that is suffocating,
Forming a lump in your throat
Like hands wrapped around your neck.
A lump that strangles you,
And holds you down.
Causing the inability to know up from down.
It’s the monster lurking in the abyss
Grabbing you to make you one of your own.

The villain is believed to be the enemy.
The one that everyone despises.
The one that is thought to be selfish
And believed to think only of themselves.
But what if the villain is not so evil?
The villain that protects those they love.
The villain that only wishes to be loved back.
The villain who would sacrifice the world for their love.
The villain that could be the hero,
If only the world loved them back.

Darkness.
Darkness is your monster
But it is also your friend.
It can give you clarity
Even as it blankets your vision.
It can give you comfort
Even as you feel suffocated.
In life, darkness is a symbol of fear, anguish and misery.
But remember,
Before you entered this world you were in darkness.
You were in a comforting void where you developed and grew.
In dark times, this is where most growth lies,
And when light finally returns,
You were born new.

I am nervous.
I feel the moths in my belly,
The kind that make you sick.
The kind where you are worrying
But have not been given the reason to.
I am worried that I love them.
I am nervous that they will break me.
I am scared that they will wake up,
And see me as unworthy.
Unworthy of being called beautiful.
Unworthy of their presence.
Unworthy of their love,
And maybe I am.
They are so good to me,
More than I could have asked for.
More than I could have dreamed of.
I wished for someone to love me for me.
To see me as something special,
But I never have been.
I am not the golden child.
I am not remarkably intelligent.
I do not have a special talent.
I am remarkably unremarkable,
And maybe I never have been worthy.

Many say Curiosity killed the cat,
When in reality our world is built off it.
Curiosity is the reason we crossed the ocean.
It is the reason we look to the stars.
It is the why we seek to adventure,
To better ourselves as we do.
Curiosity is why we strive for answers.
It is why we understand gravity.
It is the why we read,
The why we draw,
The why we look for more.
Curiosity pushes the boundaries of our world,
While simultaneously writing the rules.
The rules that are then tested by another.
Without Curiosity,
Our world would be stuck.
The Earth would still be flat.
The Sun would still revolve around us,
And the Stars would still be white dots in the sky.
Without Curiosity,
It would still be thought
That wolves howled to the moon
Because it is their lost love.

Grief is a strange thing.
It can have many masks and be many faces.
It can be anger.
It can be hate.
It can be laughter
And it can be an overwhelming sadness.
Grief is a stranger.
It is the man in an alleyway dressed in black.
It can watch you.
It can grab you.
And it can even make you one of its own.
It is in times of Grief we must fight.
We must crawl and claw our way out.
Because Grief can make us a stranger,
Even to ourselves.

I used to believe I wanted to be like water.
Water that melds into any shape.
Water that is relaxing and peaceful.
Water that, when given enough time, can cut through anything.
But now I realize I want to be like fire.
Fire that gives warmth and comfort.
Fire that burns fast, creating its own path.
Fire that gives light in total darkness,
Giving you an opportunity to find your way out.
Water is used.
Fire is untamable.

It is proven that we are all made of stars.
Not just one but multiple.
We were once tiny little particles that grew under pressure,
And shined bright for millions of years.
That was until we were released into the universe,
For a new life to be led.
I believe the people we meet in this world,
Those we have an instant connection with,
Share a star with us.
We recognize them because we once spent millions of years with them.
Growing.
Changing.
Developing in the same pressure.
I believe that our soulmates are made up of the exact same stars as us.
The same elemental composition.
It is the reason we are so comfortable.
Why they feel like home.
It is the home we knew for millions of years.
The twin flame of our soul.

Time.
Time is unique.
Time is considered infinite,
But it is also limited.
Time is a currency.
A currency you can only spend.
You can never gain time back,
So what you spend it on is precious.
You have a right to be picky
Because your time is limited.
It is limited in a way we do not know.
As if we were all given a bag of time.
This bag is unknown in its depths,
So one day you can reach in
And nothing will be found.
You have a right to be picky.
You have a right to say no.
You can spend time on another
Or you can spend it on yourself.
But choose wisely who you spend it on
Because others may toss your time away.
Time you will never get back.
Time is unique.
Time is infinite,
But it is also finite.

Who am I?
It’s life’s greatest question.
Life’s biggest quest.
We go through life with this feeling.
The feeling of needing to know
But not fully knowing what we are missing.
People become anxious,
Anxious of not knowing their purpose.
They become scared,
Scared they will never know.
But the reality is,
Life’s beauty is in the unknown.
The journey of finding your purpose.
So enjoy it.
Enjoy the unknown.
Enjoy the mystery.
Because in the end,
Whether big or small,
You make an impact on this world.