Kee - Hello Poetry

Kee Apr 2017

So Much

You love a person so much
Their pain becomes yours.
You are them.
They are you.
But sometimes that's not enough.
Not enough for them.
But you tried.
For him.
For you.
That wasn't enough.
You loved hard.
Too hard.
And now you can't undo this love.
You can't forget.
You can't figure out if it's you or them anymore because you two were so alike.
So in tune.
And now you're over.
You're trapped with lingering memories of what used to be, and you can't escape.
You can't run from yourself, or from him.
Not anymore.

#love #hard #forget #undo #escape #tried #pain #alike #two #enough #heartbreak #heartbroken

Kee Apr 2017

Remember

Will you remember me?
My smile, my teeth, the feel of my lips?
Or my laugh?
The way I held your hand?
I always made sure our pinkies were wrapped together.
How about the first time I told you I loved you?
Will you remember any of it?
I know we ended five months ago but I can't help but to want you still.
And hope that you want me too.
Do you remember the time that we snuck into the grocery store at 5 am and ate all of their kisses?
We threw up all day after that.
But, it was with you, so it was worth it.
Oh, there's the time when we made love on top of your roof.
It was cold, but you made me warm.
You told me you loved me right after.
I hung onto those words.
I still do.
Will you do any of these things with her?
Will she make you squirt a vanilla milkshake out of your nose like I did?
Do you lose yourself in her the way you did with me?
Did she become you, and you, her?
Was there a time when you couldn't tell the difference, because you two were so alike?
We loved each other for three years and although you're ready to let go, i'm not.
I miss you.

Wrote this in the library during school. Had half of it sitting in my journal though.

Kee Apr 2017

Make Up.

you can't help but stare
and stare
and stare
until you hate everything about your face
how many freckles you have
pimples
it can only cover the scars for so long
the insecurities for so long
lips coated in thick red
eyes you coat with liner and eye shadow
face caked with foundation
baked with powder
contoured to the gods
eyebrows on fleek
you slay
sometimes you don't recognize yourself in the mirror
and it makes you happy because you can't imagine living the rest of your life looking you without make-up.
will you ever love you?
you, without the makeup?

BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, IM NOT BASHING.
I wear make-up myself and 100% understand that some people wear because they want to and not because they're insecure about their faces. but, there are A LOT who do wear make-up bc they are insecure, and bullied, and just don't want to look like them anymore. i was like this, i kind of still am. it's hard to get over, and sometimes you can't.

#makeup #make #up #beauty #insecurities #scars #slay #fleek #contoured #gods #you #love #mirror #happy #content #freckles #pimples #acne

Kee Apr 2017

Fall

I trip.
Stumble.
Crash.
I don't want to get up.
I don't want to remember how hard it is to get back up.
I just want to fall and never get up.
Leave me be.
It's cold, yes, but I don't want to be warm.
It's too hard to feel that again.
I'm numb, yes, but I don't want to feel.
It hurts too much t do that again, and again, and again.
When I know...
I'll only fall.

#fall #stumble #crash #hard #heartbroken #depressed #warm #old #numb

Kee Apr 2017

star-crossed lovers.

She was your drug
Awful, but the only one who loved you
She warped your mind, but that didn't matter to you
She was there when no one else was
And it felt good
She made you see stars when all you could see were monsters
When things seemed impossible, she made a way
A path only the two of you could venture
And it felt good
She was an abomination to society
But you saw a goddess
She was your everything
And now she's gone
She left you
All alone
By yourself
In the cold
You looked for her
But she couldn't be found
You two were star-crossed lovers
Meant to fail

#love #drugs #hope #good #star #lovers #doom #goddess #fail #crossed

Kee Apr 2017

Loving you.

I loved you, even if you made me feel like ****.
I loved you, because no one else did.
I loved you, because I thought it was the right thing.
I loved you, because I thought you couldn't live without me the way I couldn't live without you.
I loved you, because that seemed to be enough.
But who knew that loving you would be so...
hard
wrong
terrifying.

Meh.

#love #sad #wrong #hard #breakup #emotions #distraught #right #terrifying

Kee Apr 2017

Tian, P2.

3,452 holes in the wall.
I've counted all of them.
1,000 times this month.
My eyes closed, but sleep never comes.
So I count the holes in my wall.
Sometimes I listen to cars go by, or birds chirping.
Most times it's them yelling.
About me, or the bills.
Sometimes they even argue about what to ******* eat.
I hate them both.
I wish they would've killed me instead.
4 more years until I'm free.
Until then...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

i wrote this spontaneously but i put a bit more thought into it. as of right now, Tian is 12. I know in USA (That's where she's living) it's 18 for the legal age, but I feel like it's too long of a wait and this is fiction, so 16 it is :)
I don't want to tell the whole poem, but I do want to say that she suffers from insomnia and you'll learn why in the next part of the series :)
Thanks for reading!

#friends #sleep #insomnia #birds #eat #walls #parents #arguing #holes #chirping