Certainly she can come back,
Well I shouldn't say "back."
She's here, but she's away
The train is out but how far?
How far does this train need to go
Before it reaches this station
We desperately wait for her return
Though we see her now,
We wish to see her once more

Years.
Has it been years
Since I last dreamed?
Dreams of **** covered hilltops
Flowing so easily in the much needed
Breeze.
Those lands I walked every night
Cotton-candy clouds
Blue was always my favorite
Red sky and a sun with shades
Greeting me to my dreamland of old
A sigh of relief fills my lungs
Knowing all my worries disappear
In these wide open fields
With dogs!
Kittens!
Lovers!
Never alone was I
In this world my complex mind creates.
But alone I am now
For when my eyes finally close
With my body nustled under my linens
I see blackness!
Nothingness!
Emptiness!
I can't find my way to the open fields
And dancing hilltops
I'm trapped in my sleep
Ever since you took my dreams

Spring blooms rainbow flowers
With it grows a sense of dread
Am I really in the prime of my life
Or is it that I'm already dead

What a curse it is to be me
To see the beauty in the world
But to not truly "see"

What a curse it is to be blind
To all the waving limbs of trees,
The trees I have yet to truly find

What a curse it is to be eye-less
To all the death that surrounds me
In this life I wish to see, alas I digress.

"All ears to me, I have problems"
Says the irrefutably woeful girl.
She'll expel her lungs powerfully,
Informing those around her how
Obviously, terribly, depressed she is.

Her friends will know!
Her family will know!
Her cats will know,
and the dogs too, will know!
But do they really know?

Do they know she's waiting?
Waiting indeed for a response
Other than "I'm sorry",
More than those lackluster words
That even her cats could mew.

In her mind she's begging for love.
For attention.
For a purpose.
But instead of drive from this disposition,
She sulks, she whines
She drags others down.

Like a benign tumor
She worries all she infects
With her seeking gaze
And obligatory wretchedness.
So they too feel her discomfort.
So they too might feel bad for her,
Like she does for herself.

Worried one day they'll all disappear
Like birds in her winter
She doesn't realize she's
Always
Winter.

Sore body trembles
Your callused hands bore fruit
Green, paper fruit
To buy the little things
Keep the monkey clapping
Silly monkey doesn't know
He could be living one-third longer
Had it not been stolen from him
So consume monkey
Glue your eyes to plastic life
Slide your mind from wrong to right
Feast like sulton on stranger's food
Forever trapped you cyclic fool
But I'm a monkey just like you

Like jiu jitsu my mind is in a tussle
Back and forth
Throw to grab
Submission to tap
Tap tap
My mind is lost
My heart is victorious

Once a miner
Was trapped in a well
Up he must dig
So, he dug very well

Dug he did do
For all the long day
And dig he loved to
But he had one say,

"I love to dig,
But something is wrong
Well's too big, or
I've dug far too long.

Once I saw it,
The top of the well
Glittering light,
Yes, that rang a bell.

Yet light has run,
Taken with my sight.
No more smiles here,
I only feel fright.

Ev'ry minute
Feels like forever.
One day I'll leave...
Or will I never?

It's getting hot,
In this deep, dark well.
Soon I will rot,
Am I trapped in Hell?"

Rot he did do
Yet he did not wake
One day he died
But long it did take

Once a miner
Was trapped in a well
For it was greed
That which caused his fell

I felt love for the first time today
It was written in your iris
It was spoken in your stare
My tongue skips a beat
My heart dances in your mouth
Please kiss my soul
Don't abandon my lips

Wistful are the eyes of the elderly.
How long they've lived!
How little they've left.
How little they've done.
How long they've run.
Wishing not to die but one more day.
Praying to the sky and she will say,
Let me be a kid again, to run and play.
Society has run me ragged;
I'm scared that if I die too soon
I'll be forgotten by tomorrow's noon.
She cries and kneels softly
Like a feather she floats away.

Life doesn't fill me
With the same thrills
And wondrous charm
That it used to as a young lad

Through my experiences
I've been instead filled
With the horrors of humans
And their wonderless deeds
That scarred me as a young lad

My impulses guide me again and again
Light in clear path yet I stray toward sin
A hand grabs my shoulder to pull me back in
A familiar face, room, and warmth from within

Sweet fragrance of the void of which I cling
As I jump I start to hear the angels sing
Their singing growing to a shrieking sting
Oh god how I wish I still had my wings

Clash-clash of swords
On swords
It's Pride Month
Yet again

Your gaze shoots right through me like a speeding bullet,
I know it's not meant for me but it fills my soul with a joy like none other.

Your smile, like the most perfect sheen of a knife, cuts through my heart like butter.
I know they glisten not for me, but I can't help but count each white horse as they stand still.

Your warmth like the radiant sun so sweetly gleaming, fills my soul with compassion.
I know it's all in kindness, but I can't help but wish it were something more.

Your hair like a flowing river, shines in the bright summer light.
I know it's not for me, but for another.

Whether it's the first time you held my hand,
Or the time you took me to foreign land;
I can't seem to escape your pull.
You're a magnet, and I'm the fool.

Countless days in fields where we stand,
Toe to toe, believing what you had planned
Was a love as deep as the deepest pool,
But alas, yet again I'm the fool.

Lucid white beach, buried in sand.
Losing track of time as our pale skin tanned.
I miss those days of hot and cool...
Why did I have to be such a fool?..

Passions are for children;
A passion can't pay your rent.
Rent is made to **** your passion.
Don't you see that the real you is crying?
Wake up, you're stuck inside dying!
Stuck inside you, stuck inside a house!
Rent is gnawing at you, you're dying.-
You've been dying!
You've been lied to.
No more hiding!
Your rent's due.

Life is breathed into my soul,
Against my godforsaken will.
Life is torture here, I tell you.
Breathe my life into a plant instead.
I want to be boundless, without form
Where no society can enslave me.
The iron claws of this simulacra
Takes me, breaks me, then molds me.
Like clay into a little figurine,
Doing a job that benefits no one
I know. Part of a machine that
Is always hungry.
Our purpose on earth is to fill pockets
Full of man-made coin
In a man-made world
Just so we can buy man-made "stuff";
To forget we're being
Wholly,
Entirely,
Sincerely,
Brainwashed.

I'm spent
No more lyrics of love and metaphors
The words fell out like mouthfalls
Each rock struck a new poem
Each glistening rainbow a new idea
Each droplet of mist my persistence

I'm spent
I thought it was beautiful to see life
To truly see what it's like to be free
Now I envy the lovestruck fools
Blinded by their individuality
Ironically enveloped in community
Head up *** and foot in mouth

I'm spent
What's the use in giving my thoughts
Everyone either relates or claims false
I'm a liar, a beggar of attention
***** of Babylon I beg on my knees
Waiting for one true prince to pick me
Like that daffodil I pressed in a book
I don't want the prince, or the flower
I want to be alone.
But I hate to be alone.

Repugnant relationships
Post all day and night
How much they love one another
Until they tire and fight

Then comes sweet bliss
No more diarrhea of the mouth
You really loved one another
Until things quickly traveled South

I picked up my bags this morning
Took one drag of that cigarette and said
"I'm leaving this town forever, finally!"
So I walked out that creaking door
Took one deep breath
And I woke up.
And I sighed,
"I'm still I'm this town... forever."

Illness from within.
Still I wish to end
This rotting of my corpse.
If not with sheer force,
Let nature take course.

Aching and bleeding inside,
There's nowhere to hide.
All the yelling and screaming,
With feeble meaning,
It's taking its toll
On my fragile soul.

Dark is all I see.
Longing liberty
For the sight of Sun,
What's done is now done.

Lily covered hills
Dreams of him inside my mind
As my eyes grow wet

Loathsome little loving liars
Lying laughingly lazily

Poor pretentious puny pet
Phrasing picture perfect plays

Forty ******* fornicators
Flogging feathered flappers

Words wired without winds
Wistfully woven wrongfully

Bi-curious bitey bell-shaped *******
Bump big butts boastfully

Helping Harry's holey hippocampus
Holes he hides here hazily

The night punished without you
Reveals a certain distinct state
Only dark and bitter
It's dark and bitter
To taste touch or smell
Foul taste slimy touch rotten smell
Running with no feet to feel
The ground beneath is dry
beneath is dead
Void of life of any life
(Any life or no life)
Rosy cheeks lips and eyes
Of setting sun and setting lies
Fall on those ghoulish lips
The night punished without you
She swings ebbs and flows
With or without you

Am I the only one who's mind speaks
More than one sentence at it's peak-
Hours fly by like planes
In the night sky in June-
Was the month I knew I loved you
So much that I had to let you go.

How can I look at trees
When the trees look fake?
How can I talk to you
When I can read your face?
How can I take this breath
When my body feels unreal?
Guess I'll just fade
And see if it's all fake

I'm not deserving of anything that I have besides misery.

What's confidence?

Nothing that I've been taught or raised.

My mind is a dismal plane
Of which no thoughts can escape;
Alas I lie here dreaming whilst awake
But can't illustrate the words I see
Or inscribe the sounds I hear.
Trapped here for eternity
In the hell I call my home,
My home I call my mind,
And my mind that calls me
Slave.

Stuck like honey,
The budding lily shrinks and quivers.
Those sticky fingers
Grab at her colours.
At every angle they pick and choose,
And pinch at her delicate petals.
They, starving customers
And she, a farmer's market.
Breath hot like summer suns,
Mouth dripping like spring rains.
Where can she go, trapped here
Surrounded by sticky fingers.
Endure it a little longer Lily,
Your stop is up next!

I could show my worth to a thousand people
And my own mother wouldn't bat an eye
I sometimes ponder and I wonder if she'll miss me when I die

Mind numbing cicadas
Buzzing in my brain
Until I die
I'm a cicada
Constantly screaming
Until I die
Loud percussion
Everyone ignoring
Until I die

Curtains in my attic
Growing stale from lack of wind
Falling daintily across the floor
Shall they never move again?

But now I'm growing sick
Of the outside looking in. These
Curtains in my attic
May finally sway again.

Wish I could write a poem about some incredible overcoming
A feat among feats
I'm different than the societal norm
But I guess I'm just not
Different enough

Embers burn bright for the moment
Don't forget to add another log
And stoke the flame
Or the bright yellow embers will burn out

Stinging is this feeling
Deep within my heart
The scabs they keep on peeling
My deeds, I've played my part.

Yet it was the end
When you said no more
Without hitting send
My heart, hurt to core.

Every now and then
When I reflect on the past
I look at my greatest sin
The first and the last.

I can't imagine what I put you through
I wish only that it all wasn't true
I miss all the love and the fun
For I'm truly sorry for all that I've done

Flowers fornicate as you and I do

They're just much prettier

Considerably less dangerous too

Huge round drums beat within my ears
Flood my brain with debate of self hate
I sing my favorite song
They hate my favorite song
Screaming to shut down my mind,
Tempt me to hate my own voice.
It feels like I'm watching my life from-
The outside, and it's a horror show.
I just wish I was young again

Two worlds exist within another
A mind within a body
A body within the world
Both peering out in awe at what
It thinks is reality, at what
It feels is reality

Which world do you live in most often

Your individual lives
Are ultimately only
Interesting to you
So shut up about them

I enter this old house again.
Cigarette stained walls.
Breathe it in deep,
A slow stream of tears is produced
Everytime I enter this old house.
My cheeks are wet
I must go now

Take a deep,
No, a short breath.
Do you remember what it's like
To take a deep breath?
For your lungs to fill
All the way to your head,
And to feel relief that you breathe
Life into each living cell.
Do you remember what it's like?
It's been so long.
But now you can't sing,
And now you can't scream;
The monster keeps his hands
Around your throat.

A strong sigh of discontent
Fortitude decreasing, only slightly
My highest wall crumbles
Because of one king
"Why did he leave me?
Were my armies too weak?
Impossible!
I have the strongest men to fight.
Were my peasants too *****?
Impossible!
I have the cleanest peasants to pillage.
Or was it me?
Impossible...
I... I... Am the weakest of all my citizens."
"That's why I left you."