Take a deep,
No, a short breath.
Do you remember what it's like
To take a deep breath?
For your lungs to fill
All the way to your head,
And to feel relief that you breathe
Life into each living cell.
Do you remember what it's like?
It's been so long.
But now you can't sing,
And now you can't scream;
The monster keeps his hands
Around your throat.

The rain took my love away,
How dry it was without his embrace.
Never did it rain again.

He washed away with all the others.
Almost without care;
Definitely without care.
Now I don't care.
Of course I care!
I cry every night with no tears for,
Never did it rain again yet,
Sadly it will rain again
And take away another love...
If I'm brave enough.

Constant bombardment ensues
Echoes and ties the noose
Here lies your only son
Oh no, what have I done
I killed him with words within
Ignorance, abuse, and sin

Two worlds exist within another
A mind within a body
A body within the world
Both peering out in awe at what
It thinks is reality, at what
It feels is reality

Which world do you live in most often

Please come home, oh tired soldier,
Rest your bones a little while.
You've been gone for far too long,
Much has changed within the years.
Your home burnt down,
We built a garden,
Your kids play there
They don't know, oh tired soldier
They were born while you were gone

I want to run
Let me run
Through fields of clover and dandelions
I want to spread my wings and fly
Fly back to reality
Because this ain't living baby
Life is out there and I'm in here
So let me run
So I can fly

Shutting the blinds
Softly forget
Another day ahead
Swiftly I set
For now I live in another world
For now until I wake
If only this was a dream
I'd try to wake up

Barrier of light
Holding back the dark
Growing weak
Crawling in
A dark, dark night again

Everyone's individual epiphanies are
Uninteresting
But when I have an epiphany
It's unique and everyone must listen
Rinse and repeat

Gritting grinding
Bare bone to bone
Like the gnashing of two rocks
Trying to force through another
Until sudden sharp jolts of electricity
Shoot through blistered nerve endings
Pounding drums inside, no one's home
Sharp, alert and now awake
No pain anymore
Until eyes close shut once more

Sour life balances
Sweetly with strife

Who would want to be
One travelling delicately
Ignoring all the possibility
That one day you will be
F
R
E
E

He was steam,
And I was metal.
His soothing heat felt so good.--
Soothing, yet fatal
Each deep breath of his form.--
In, but never out
Too much of his love could **** a man
Or rust him, without a doubt.

Love still eludes these eyes
Blinded by countless tries
Try again they say
Shoot for the moon and pray
In other words,
Waste day after day

Probably won't be around much longer.
I can't breathe these words or songs or
Feel the same strong feeling of love for
Things I used to do, the people I hugged sore.
The late night kiss, the closed locked door,
Feelings in my chest I'd never felt before.
Now I'm just a shadow, a loathsome *****.
I don't deserve these words or songs or
That same strong feeling of love for
Life; so I'll end it
Just like I did before... you

Rain falls on this desert land
With it falls hope
But unfortunately for the rain
It's still falling on desert land

Drive far away from home
Shed tears for my old strife
Shave head, start a new life
Never remember you
Always forgotten too
Erase your favorite song
Still I ask, "Is it wrong?"

I don't want to die
Your love is a lie
You used to sing in my ear
I remember as I lie here
My life is repetition
Your face in position
Actions become past
Your kisses were my last
What's done is done
You were my sun
My life is boring
Brain is snoring
Why do I miss you
You hurt me too
I want to have fun
But instead I'll buy a gun
My head I'll blow
My blood it'll flow
I just can't take no more
My heart is so sore
No one is here
No one to hear

Without my rose
I'm just dirt
Just dirt
Holding a stem
That used to have potential
Now instead it holds something tragic
A dark, deep, depressing thing
Something I regret dearly
It's hope

Virus, you fill my brain
With lies of love
And tears of pain

Monster, you let me in
Only to kick me out
Make me feel my sin
The sin that without a doubt
I love you most, so I pretend

Liar, you hurt my heart
You make your bed
So that I can play the part
It hurts my little head

I can feel your tease
And see your forked tongue
Pretend I'm something I'm not
Leave me alone... please

Buzz buzz buzz
Busy bee brain
Buzzing blindingly because
Busy bee brain be insane

Reflectors stab my retinas
Reflecting the inside.
Thoughts crawl out of me
Ghouls of telepathy
Constantly scratching and screaming,
"Let me be free
I wish to see."

Choke them with pills and herb,
"Stay down you awful beasts"
I used to think,
Now I just feel.
Today they will see the side of me,
The side of me I want to be.
Freely and complete, truly.
Indescribably.
I will subscribe to thee,
Til' the beast can see,
This beast will be free,
"Finally"

Wild growth covers a dense forest
How beautiful it is
To us
But how suffocating it is
For trees

Hunger pains remain
Years past your glowing skin
How it filled me up
Yet now I hear a dropping pin

Summers come and go
Winters always seem to stay
Where has my flower gone
I cannot last another day

I have lost my hunger pains
They left with winter passing
My flower has come again
Our love is ever lasting

Signs go north but you point south
So I follow you
South
All the way past your brain
And beyond your heart
I arrive at your soul
You disappear
I'm now lost and scared
It's empty here

Oh feeling in my chest
The irregular drumming
Like a deaf child flailing
Aimlessly
Crying
Why can't I hear?
Why am I cursed?
To never hear the sounds
That separate us from animals
To never feel those goosebumps
When that rhythm is just right
And everything feels like it
Is falling into place

Oh feeling in my chest
I grow tired of your discord
When I close my eyes
Please never beat again

My neighbor started beating his drums again
For the first time in what seems like years.
Could it be he found them in his closet,
Or did he find something else instead?

My neighbor started beating his drums again
With such fiery emotion and perfect rhythm.
Like the sound of 1000 hearts beating
Or the resurrection of one that's long since died.

My neighbor started beating his drums again
I'm now starting to worry for him
I hope that all his beating and banging
Will not cease and last for many a day.

I can't find the words to explain
The gratitude for every single thing,
That stomach sinking feeling when
I saw your face the last time
And I knew it was the last time
Fly you butterfly
You're no longer hurting
Spread those wings
Arthritis can't grip you now
We'll miss you
But we'll see you in the seasons
In the breeze
That moves the trees
In the night sky
One more star added
In our minds
A constant stream of smile
Will fill our souls
Fly you butterfly

Hurry before it's too late
For soon he will not awake
Time is speeding so run
Fate is just a loaded gun
Waiting for things to go good
Bang! Shot you where you stood

Nothing is great
The world is cruel
So full of hate
Now I am too

Feelings of bliss escape like rats scurrying
Across a floor littered with fragments of emotion,
The rodents dinner.
Among these crumbs lie memories of before.
Sadness, love, anger, angst along with many more.
Pieces of a past so dark it blocked out light.
A past so cancerous it killed God.
A past so heavy it crushed Hercules.
A past so damming that he forgot it all.

Find out what made you blossom
The first time
So you can bloom not one time
But forever more

If your passion constantly shifts
It doesn't mean it isn't just as beautiful
For in the bouquet of your mind
Why would you ever only want
One flower?

Why can't I remember my past
Fleeting memories leave so fast

Like leaves in the wind
The numbers without end

One by one I can see them clearly
Still I can't hold them dearly

I want to remember what I was before
Was I happy, rich, lovely or poor

Who hurt me so bad that I can't remember
What made me- me, Jan. thru December

Radiant innocent
Flower blooming slowly
Is she a rose, delicate petals
Or a ****, strong but loathsome
Each passing Spring she grows higher
Bringing with her all the damage
Damage and cold frost of-
Silent Winter nights
Will she grow stronger
Or wilt and wither
Becoming food for the
Soil

Window I stare from everyday
When will you show me a thing
I constantly crave
Show me a life worth living

I want to cry so bad
But the tears just well
Why must I be so sad
And why can't you tell

Here I am,
Seat to rear.
My break time is over
Yet I still sit here.
Time is speeding up;
I don't want to start again.
Dear God save me, for
Work is an unnatural sin.

None of you understand
My shifting perception
Words I can't mention
Thoughts I can't conjure
Books I can't write
Feelings I can't picture
All changing every day
It's driving me insane

When school breaks out,
And I run to the safety of my room
To escape the thoughts of daily gloom,
You weren't there.

Hey Mom!
What did I do today?
Oh I-
Sorry. Oh.
Okay.
Back to my room, another day.

Her eyes glued to plasma,
Twenty-Twenty, yet blind,
Her son was dying.
She could save him,
He was trying,
Help!
Mom...?!

Hey Mom!
I paid my rent today!
Oh, why don't I ever come to see you?
I'm sorry mom I've been watching this new show,
"Life Without You."