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CL Fjell Jul 2019
The night punished without you
Reveals a certain distinct state
Only dark and bitter
It's dark and bitter
To taste touch or smell
Foul taste slimy touch rotten smell
Running with no feet to feel
The ground beneath is dry
beneath is dead
Void of life of any life
(Any life or no life)
Rosy cheeks lips and eyes
Of setting sun and setting lies
Fall on those ghoulish lips
The night punished without you
She swings ebbs and flows
With or without you
They know I know
Jul 2019 · 112
Wistful Eyes
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Wistful are the eyes of the elderly.
How long they've lived!
How little they've left.
How little they've done.
How long they've run.
Wishing not to die but one more day.
Praying to the sky and she will say,
Let me be a kid again, to run and play.
Society has run me ragged;
I'm scared that if I die too soon
I'll be forgotten by tomorrow's noon.
She cries and kneels softly
Like a feather she floats away.
Jul 2019 · 94
Stupid Monkey
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Sore body trembles
Your callused hands bore fruit
Green, paper fruit
To buy the little things
Keep the monkey clapping
Silly monkey doesn't know
He could be living one-third longer
Had it not been stolen from him
So consume monkey
Glue your eyes to plastic life
Slide your mind from wrong to right
Feast like sulton on stranger's food
Forever trapped you cyclic fool
But I'm a monkey just like you
Jul 2019 · 141
Lemon Spirit
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Crush my spirit
Use it as medicine
For your own benefit
And give it to your friends
And give it to your family
Your dogs and cats too
I have no need for it
I don't want a need for it
Stretched thin and squeezed
Like a summer lemon
Now I'm a lemon
And you're refreshed
Jul 2019 · 166
You're a storm
CL Fjell Jul 2019
We saw the shapes in clouds
Together, like we were kids
Forever, if only for the moment
But clouds pass
And now I see you in the clouds
Every cloud
Especially rain clouds
Jul 2019 · 54
On Poetry
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Poetry helps but poetry makes it worse
Does that make sense?
Let me spell it out for you
Poetry heals wounds but poetry opens another
Jul 2019 · 50
Light
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Barrier of light
Holding back the dark
Growing weak
Crawling in
A dark, dark night again
Jul 2019 · 35
Sleep Pains
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Gritting grinding
Bare bone to bone
Like the gnashing of two rocks
Trying to force through another
Until sudden sharp jolts of electricity
Shoot through blistered nerve endings
Pounding drums inside, no one's home
Sharp, alert and now awake
No pain anymore
Until eyes close shut once more
Jul 2019 · 46
Green Glass Ceiling
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Thoughts shatter this green glass ceiling
Smiling, I wait for the shards to fall
For my fate I wait for forces to pull
Meet my smiling face
Just this once
A real smiling face
All at once
And at once a blink of bliss
That's all I needed before the fall
CL Fjell Jul 2019
I thought it was near
The passing of this cloud. Alas
Shimmers of the sun disappear
Rain yet came ever near

Still this cloud it looms
Closer and closer I fear
Like a fat kid welling tear and
Rain yet came ever near

Darkness is now lurking here
Shadows are one with evil God
The air holds that humid stench
Too late to hide from guiltless drench
Jul 2019 · 165
For Years
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Taking back seat.
I called shotgun.
I can't remember,
I don't want to remember?
No, I can't remember.

Shadows fill in the gaps,
Blanket the little lamb.
Sleep now insipid child,
Dream while you are awake,
When awake you will be grown.

A shaman showed him a past,
One that seemed so distant
It was fake;
No, it was fact.
It was him, and only him.
Trauma took hold,
And with it, a child.

The night brings him ghosts of past.
(Know it will only pass)
If they lived what you had lived,
(No, it will only pass)
Life would be easy then.

He'd rather be paranoid,
Than be a saint.
He'd rather be out his mind,
But he can't remember.
Jul 2019 · 149
The Chasing
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Reoccurring dreams of someone
Kidnapping me
Every time they catch me, it resets
Each chase a new sense of anxiety
While knowing it'll just become anew
Once they finally catch me.

Is it my inability to escape my future,
The want for something more than my
Destined path,
Or is it simply the fear that my past
Will catch me,
No matter where I escape to?
Jul 2019 · 74
Sticky Fingers
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Stuck like honey,
The budding lily shrinks and quivers.
Those sticky fingers
Grab at her colours.
At every angle they pick and choose,
And pinch at her delicate petals.
They, starving customers
And she, a farmer's market.
Breath hot like summer suns,
Mouth dripping like spring rains.
Where can she go, trapped here
Surrounded by sticky fingers.
Endure it a little longer Lily,
Your stop is up next!
Personal experience
Jul 2019 · 71
Seaside Town Storm
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Ants gathered round a hill
By the seaside town
Salt on the tongue with breaths;
A storm blew through here long,
And took with it the ants.
I'm shivering now,
And I miss my aunty.
Jul 2019 · 97
Haiku - One Hundred Days
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Lily covered hills
Dreams of him inside my mind
As my eyes grow wet
Jul 2019 · 181
Rat Maze
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Our society wants to control you.
And you don't know it already does:
The clothes you wear, the things you own.
Your creativity and mind become society
It's a clever way of controlling.
A clever way of saying,
You've been had so bad
You would never know,
And that's quite sad.
CL Fjell Jul 2019
I want to run
Let me run
Through fields of clover and dandelions
I want to spread my wings and fly
Fly back to reality
Because this ain't living baby
Life is out there and I'm in here
So let me run
So I can fly
Jul 2019 · 122
When Things Get Dull
CL Fjell Jul 2019
I'm spent
No more lyrics of love and metaphors
The words fell out like mouthfalls
Each rock struck a new poem
Each glistening rainbow a new idea
Each droplet of mist my persistence

I'm spent
I thought it was beautiful to see life
To truly see what it's like to be free
Now I envy the lovestruck fools
Blinded by their individuality
Ironically enveloped in community
Head up *** and foot in mouth

I'm spent
What's the use in giving my thoughts
Everyone either relates or claims false
I'm a liar, a beggar of attention
***** of Babylon I beg on my knees
Waiting for one true prince to pick me
Like that daffodil I pressed in a book
I don't want the prince, or the flower
I want to be alone.
But I hate to be alone.
Jul 2019 · 62
Rent Killed Passion
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Passions are for children;
A passion can't pay your rent.
Rent is made to **** your passion.
Don't you see that the real you is crying?
Wake up, you're stuck inside dying!
Stuck inside you, stuck inside a house!
Rent is gnawing at you, you're dying.-
You've been dying!
You've been lied to.
No more hiding!
Your rent's due.
Existentialism will be the death of me
Jul 2019 · 108
She's a rock, baby
CL Fjell Jul 2019
A rock sat still on sunken cloth
Dull and boring, shineless in her form
She had no cares, no wit nor love
Ignorant and heavy she sat still
Like a rock, forever staring at nothing
But taking in everything
And rejecting it all
Jul 2019 · 110
My Mom
CL Fjell Jul 2019
I could show my worth to a thousand people
And my own mother wouldn't bat an eye
I sometimes ponder and I wonder if she'll miss me when I die
Jul 2019 · 42
Pride
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Horde my colours pridefully
Pry my secrets dreadfully
Strip down my necessity
My individuality
Gone with my complexity
Is freedom free, truly
My answer is no, unruly
Jul 2019 · 53
Love for the Loveless
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Love still eludes these eyes
Blinded by countless tries
Try again they say
Shoot for the moon and pray
In other words,
Waste day after day
Jul 2019 · 350
Succulent
CL Fjell Jul 2019
A succulent
Needing very little attention
Striving for more
But accepting much less
His leaves were thick
And against all odds
The heat never phased him
He pressed further on
Jul 2019 · 53
The Boy is Hot Like Steam
CL Fjell Jul 2019
He was steam,
And I was metal.
His soothing heat felt so good.--
Soothing, yet fatal
Each deep breath of his form.--
In, but never out
Too much of his love could **** a man
Or rust him, without a doubt.
Jul 2019 · 49
Abuse the Child
CL Fjell Jul 2019
Constant bombardment ensues
Echoes and ties the noose
Here lies your only son
Oh no, what have I done
I killed him with words within
Ignorance, abuse, and sin
Jul 2019 · 120
Wanderlust for the Poor
CL Fjell Jul 2019
I picked up my bags this morning
Took one drag of that cigarette and said
"I'm leaving this town forever, finally!"
So I walked out that creaking door
Took one deep breath
And I woke up.
And I sighed,
"I'm still I'm this town... forever."
Jul 2019 · 249
Lady of Stone
CL Fjell Jul 2019
A stone
I found her all alone
In a field, perhaps
One that has overgrown

She had bright emerald eyes-
Opal glistened hair
Flowing effortlessly

Tones of song sang to me
Dancing on the night
She flew over to see

One whisper in my ear
"Why did you come here?"
"Because I love you, dear."

She vanished with the light
Taking with her stones
Will she come another night?
Jun 2019 · 51
Suicide
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Probably won't be around much longer.
I can't breathe these words or songs or
Feel the same strong feeling of love for
Things I used to do, the people I hugged sore.
The late night kiss, the closed locked door,
Feelings in my chest I'd never felt before.
Now I'm just a shadow, a loathsome *****.
I don't deserve these words or songs or
That same strong feeling of love for
Life; so I'll end it
Just like I did before... you
Jun 2019 · 98
Love & Intuition
CL Fjell Jun 2019
How do you finish a quest,
A quest for love,
When even your own intuition says,
"You're not ready."
But I know I'm ready,
I need this!

It's been too long
Too long without a kiss
That releases that dopamine,
Get my brain so high

It's been too long
Too long without a hug
That releases the demons,
Make my spirit feel alright

So yes, I'm ready
But my intuition screams
It still screams and says,
"No! You'll just die again!"
But intuition please,
Don't you have to die to be born
To be born again is to love.
Jun 2019 · 82
I'm a Cicada
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Mind numbing cicadas
Buzzing in my brain
Until I die
I'm a cicada
Constantly screaming
Until I die
Loud percussion
Everyone ignoring
Until I die
Jun 2019 · 249
Prince of Work
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Sunlit room breathes deeply
Another morning has awoken
A tired zombie shuffles across
Lethargic.

Morning stretches and a daily rinse
Turns a zombie to a prince
Now he's ready to work and work
One-third of his life away
So tragic.
Jun 2019 · 44
Warm Body
CL Fjell Jun 2019
His touch was warm
Warmer than the radiant sun
Beaming through a large pane window
How warm his body was
Like trapped heat
Within a car's black leather covered interior
How hot he was
Though a body is usually still warm
Up to twelve hours post-mortem
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Did you **** yourself
Or did I **** us?
Answer me!
Hey!
ANSWER ME!
WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?
I KNEW YOU'D HATE ME!
THEY ALL DO!
Wait no, come back

I'm sorry

I don't know what came over me
It's not your fault
Life has been cruel to me
Not physically

Mentally

You see I lost my-
You're right
I have a problem
I understand

Goodbye
Jun 2019 · 67
Tourette's Alliteration
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Loathsome little loving liars
Lying laughingly lazily

Poor pretentious puny pet
Phrasing picture perfect plays

Forty ******* fornicators
Flogging feathered flappers

Words wired without winds
Wistfully woven wrongfully

Bi-curious bitey bell-shaped *******
Bump big butts boastfully

Helping Harry's holey hippocampus
Holes he hides here hazily
Jun 2019 · 57
The Rain Took Them
CL Fjell Jun 2019
The rain took my love away,
How dry it was without his embrace.
Never did it rain again.

He washed away with all the others.
Almost without care;
Definitely without care.
Now I don't care.
Of course I care!
I cry every night with no tears for,
Never did it rain again yet,
Sadly it will rain again
And take away another love...
If I'm brave enough.
Jun 2019 · 39
Heart
CL Fjell Jun 2019
What is a pounding heart?
Thump thump
Other than the wearing down
Thump thump
Before it
Thump... thump...
Breaks
...
Jun 2019 · 362
Acid on my Mind
CL Fjell Jun 2019
He's acid on my mind
One taste and I'm gone
Another realm
Another plane
Full of wonderous colour

He's acid on my mind
One taste and he's gone
Another town
Another world
Full of everything but me

He showed me a world
And melted my brain
Now I don't know love
I'll never be the same
Acid
Jun 2019 · 65
An Old House
CL Fjell Jun 2019
I enter this old house again.
Cigarette stained walls.
Breathe it in deep,
A slow stream of tears is produced
Everytime I enter this old house.
My cheeks are wet
I must go now
Jun 2019 · 39
Perspective
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Wild growth covers a dense forest
How beautiful it is
To us
But how suffocating it is
For trees
Jun 2019 · 64
Guess I'll Just Fade
CL Fjell Jun 2019
How can I look at trees
When the trees look fake?
How can I talk to you
When I can read your face?
How can I take this breath
When my body feels unreal?
Guess I'll just fade
And see if it's all fake
Jun 2019 · 176
Sweet Daffodil
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Sweet daffodil
How silly a name
Dances in the mouth
Like our first kiss

Sweet daffodil
Sweetest of them all
My dentist hates me daffodil
All my cavities are from you

Sweet daffodil
How daffy you are
Made me laugh all day
Just like that old show we watched

Sweet daffodil
How I miss your sweet words
And how silly your name is
Fitting for such a silly grave
Jun 2019 · 44
Kings
CL Fjell Jun 2019
A strong sigh of discontent
Fortitude decreasing, only slightly
My highest wall crumbles
Because of one king
"Why did he leave me?
Were my armies too weak?
Impossible!
I have the strongest men to fight.
Were my peasants too *****?
Impossible!
I have the cleanest peasants to pillage.
Or was it me?
Impossible...
I... I... Am the weakest of all my citizens."
"That's why I left you."
Jun 2019 · 52
Dream
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Shutting the blinds
Softly forget
Another day ahead
Swiftly I set
For now I live in another world
For now until I wake
If only this was a dream
I'd try to wake up
Jun 2019 · 351
The Want
CL Fjell Jun 2019
I want to draw
But my mind wants to die

I want to sing
But my lungs want to drown

I want to dance
But my body wants to rot

I want to explain
But my brain wants to stop
And you won't listen
Jun 2019 · 160
Lucidity
CL Fjell Jun 2019
The waking world feels false
My dreams are much better
Than reality. Even the bad dreams
Have so much more good
Than reality. Even the bad dreams
Make me much happier
Than reality. Even the bad dreams
Scare me much less
Than reality; Even the bad dreams
Are only bad
Momentarily
Jun 2019 · 108
Brainwashing Earth
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Life is breathed into my soul,
Against my godforsaken will.
Life is torture here, I tell you.
Breathe my life into a plant instead.
I want to be boundless, without form
Where no society can enslave me.
The iron claws of this simulacra
Takes me, breaks me, then molds me.
Like clay into a little figurine,
Doing a job that benefits no one
I know. Part of a machine that
Is always hungry.
Our purpose on earth is to fill pockets
Full of man-made coin
In a man-made world
Just so we can buy man-made "stuff";
To forget we're being
Wholly,
Entirely,
Sincerely,
Brainwashed.
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Take a deep,
No, a short breath.
Do you remember what it's like
To take a deep breath?
For your lungs to fill
All the way to your head,
And to feel relief that you breathe
Life into each living cell.
Do you remember what it's like?
It's been so long.
But now you can't sing,
And now you can't scream;
The monster keeps his hands
Around your throat.
Jun 2019 · 129
Pride
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Clash-clash of swords
On swords
It's Pride Month
Yet again
Jun 2019 · 570
Sweet Little Lily
CL Fjell Jun 2019
Sweet little lily,
She asked me for my name.
Then once she kissed me,
I had never felt the same.

All these kisses are now poison,
Burning scars onto my cheek.
When my lily she did leave me,
I drowned down by Silas creek.
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