Art is not meant to be looked at.

It's meant to be lived.

Had I told the stars
What I felt for you,
They would fall
One by one
And follow me.

this moment only existed in novels.

the kind of novels that make people question if this kind of love exist.
many search their entire lives for this moment,
but here I am.
here you are.
here we are.
together.

People die for love,

I stay alive

For her.

but you are my Kryptonite,

and my Lois Lane.

They say,
"Love is in the arms of the beholder."
So I built a home
Within the marrow of your bones
With your soul
As the fireplace.

You'll leave.
Whether it be you take your last breath here on earth,
Or as I watch you fall in love with another.

Whatever it may be,
Just remember these moments,
These stories
We are creating.

Let it engrave itself into your heart
And let it flow through your veins.

They can have the world.

We'll create our own.

Kiss me until we form a universe in our mouths.

I may have failed,
But I didn't fall.


2015,
I will fail,
But I will not fall.

The night sky above us was splattered with stars.
Millions of them.
Galaxies and constellations right before our eyes.
The universe was dancing and rejoicing
To a cadence that could not be heard, but only felt.

I want to be the smoke that fills your lungs.

I have written the story a number of times.
But every story that I began, suddenly,
Out of nowhere,

Stopped.

Now as I write this story,
I am naught but amazed
That the pages keep coming
And coming.

So I will keep writing
And writing.

She wore the smell of Summer
On her neck
And every kiss I stole
Burnt like the Sun
And tasted like the ocean.

I would break every heart,

And break every soul

Then **** myself

Before you get another chance to see me again.

The thing about a mind that wanders
Is that sometimes it'll wander to the graveyards
Buried in the back of your soul.
Or an abyss that contains nothing but the past.

Sometimes when I'm not careful
I lose my footing
And fall into that abyss,
But instead of hitting the bottom,
I fall deeper and deeper.

In a matter of seconds I am falling down an archive of my thoughts,
And in a matter of seconds,
I am reliving the moments I carried  with me all these years.

I open up the files,
And just like that,
I am there when she calls me "girly" and wants a "man" instead of me.
I am there when she tells me that she doesn't see me in her future.
I am there when she
left me on the dance floor.
I am there when I found out he held her hand and kissed her.
And more. . .
And more.

I am there.
Sitting on a bus I am there.
Sitting in my car I am there.

This doesn't happen often,
But when it does,
The darkness demands my attention,
And I am there.

They say too much of one thing
Is a bad thing,
But I can never get enough of you.

If her love is an ocean,
Then I am drowning.

I know how to swim,
But I don't mind inhaling her waters.

I never did like the phrase "falling in love" or "fell in love"
To me it always sounded like that person was walking on the edge of a cliff and somehow misjudged a step,
And fell.
And so they fell in love. As if it was some sort of accident.

With you
I didn't fall in love.
*I ran in love. *

From the very beginning I knew where I was heading,
And I knew where I was going to end up.
With you.

So I don't want to say I "fell in love" with you because I didn't.
It was more like running a race,

And
I guess you can say I ran in love to get to where you are,

I didn't fall for you,

I ran for you.

All year long I've been treading water.
I've got lost at sea
And storms took me by surprise here and there.
I've drowned more than once,
But now I am riding,
As what seems to be,
An endless wave.

You are the Summer
In December

I love the way our lips dance to the cadence of our hearts,
When our words are not enough.

Is right when you are about to laugh.
That moment when your mouth stretches from ear to hear,
The bridge of your nose begins to wrinkle,
And your eyes shout life.

And if I were to say
What my heart, mind, and soul
Has been dying to say
For all this time
I wouldn't know how to stop.

Maybe it is too soon,
But if you knew.

If you knew.

Do you think God wanted to hold Eve's hand,
Whisper into her ear and tell her,
"I know what you did, and I know Adam doesn't know how to,
But I still love you and that's all that matters."

Is it wrong to admit that there are moments when I doubt God?
Is it wrong to admit that there are moments when I doubt heaven exists?
Is it wrong to admit that maybe all of this is just made up
And my entire life and the foundation that I stand upon is a fraud?
To be honest,
I think not.
I think it's okay to doubt.
I think it's okay to think twice.
I think it's perfectly healthy to take what I heard and break it down in my head.  
I am a human being.
Flawed to the core of my very soul.

But it is in these moments when I remember,
Faith, the size of a mustard seed,
Can move mountains.

So these moments of doubt do not matter,
As long as I hold onto this seed.
This seed.
This seed of faith.

I
can
never
get
enough
of
you

Allow me to gently open your heart.
Show me the bruises they left,
And I'll let my words sing to your soul.

My words are not enough.
If I were to write the greatest poem about you,
It would not be satisfying.
I do not have it in me to carefully string together words
And metaphors to describe who you are and the amount of impact that you have on me.
It is not because you are not worthy,
But because I am incapable of completing such monumental task.

But please,
Tell me,
How can I make you feel the weight of my words
Without having to hide it
Between consonants and vowels.

Let me kiss you until
We forget whose air we are


*breathing

Every time we kiss the stars burn a little brighter,
The wind howls a little louder,
And the universe holds it's breath just a little longer.
Off in the distance another star is being formed and another star is falling apart.
I hold your hand,
And the ocean ascends higher,
And the moon pulls a little harder.
You do not notice it,
But when your lips meet mines,
The world and everything in it stops moving,
And it feels for once,
The universe and I are one.

There was no light in sight.
There was no fire to follow.

For we became the fire,
And then became the sun.

They say that from the ages of 18 to 23 you meet a lot of temporary people.

To be completely honest,
I hope that I will not be just another chapter in your book,
And I hope that I will never be just another story in your amazing life.

I have met enough temporary people in my life,
And I don't want/need you to be another one.

The cold crawled up my spine and settled onto my skin.
"Winter is here" I remind myself as I sit on the sidewalk with my cigarette in hand.
A new season,
A new beginning.
The tobacco begins to do it's work as my mind begins to fog a little bit.
I inhale, and exhale again, but instead of the smoke,
It's the cool winter breeze that I let flow into my lungs.
I look at my cigarette one more time and flick off the ashes.
Let the ashes remind me that the dead stay dead.
It is a new season,
A new beginning.
So let me not focus on the old,
But instead build upon the new.

Everything and nothing in particular.

But you're there.

Impulsive, and reckless, but never stupid.

"Is she the one who captured your heart?"

No,

She's the one who helped me pick up the pieces.

The other day, I looked up the word passion in a thesaurus.
One of the synonyms of the word passion is fire.

I found it interesting how fire,
something that could keep you warm when the nights and mornings are cold,
Can also burn an entire forest to the ground.
The only difference is,
One is contained and the other isn't.

But then it makes sense, doesn't it?

Just like a fire,
Love can keep you warm and yet set you ablaze.

And that's how I feel about you.

What words break you?
What words haunt you?
Let me speak over them—
Shout over them.

Show me where it hurts,
And I'll gently run my fingers across the bruises they left.  

Kiss me so deep until every name,
Every word,
And everything that was ever said to you will be
Uprooted from the very place it latched onto your soul.

I desire to be known,
But I fear when they get too close.
I desire to be found,
But I fear what they'll say when they see what (who) they found.

it is raining outside,
and I am tired of pretending that I am happy while I stay inside watching the rain.
I am tired of waiting for the people around me to put on their rain coats and boots before going out.
I need someone who is not afraid to get wet.
I need someone who is not afraid to get messy.
So as long as this rain pours,
take my hand
and lets dance.

I can feel the way the earth shakes as we step onto the path that has been carved for us,
I can feel the way the ocean begins to cadence to our every rise and fall,
and the way my spine begins to burn every time our lips dance over and over again,
I can feel the way my body disintegrates every time our eyes meet,
and the way our souls are dancing to a song that we have never heard before,
but it is beautiful.

It is beautiful.

The sun is a ****.
She always wants me,
and she is jealous of the moon
because the moon sees me more.

Life is too short to run back to the people who burnt you,
The opportunities that left you,
And the doors that slammed shut.

It's time to move on
And build on the new.

I killed myself a long time ago.

Fall is beautiful.

But we forget that everything is dying.

Just because you're complex,
Doesn't give you the right to be complicated.

There will always be that one person who will touch you in those deepest, darkest places that no one has ever touched before.
There will always be that one person who, whenever you hear their name, will break your heart all over again.
And along with the heartbreak, the memories of you and them will flood your mind once again.
There will always be that one person who you will literally tear down all your walls for.
The person who can bring down the rain, and then call down the fire.
The person who you would do anything just to feel their hands again,
And feel them right next to you.
There will always be that one person who broke your heart,

Why ruin something so beautiful?