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CJ Hattingh Dec 2014
Your blood covered me like the love you once had for me
I felt its warmth at first
but it faded
and left a dry and cracked shell of what once was

I felt the soul leave the body
An emptiness left behind
A maddening loneliness
forced upon me

You made me do it
I had no other choice
I tell myself you're just another sacrifice
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
Where is a bucket?
Please find me a bucket
Where can I find a bucket

I am the bucket
CJ Hattingh Apr 2015
Apollyon will destroy
your mantras with the truth.
Be without fear
for all of humanity shall perish
in it's own denial

Fear not judgement
Fear not prosecution

All sheep will be herded
off the cliffs of stupidity
and burn in the fires of their intolerance
May they see the light
and be free one day.
CJ Hattingh May 2015
My life has become a dull, throbbing decline into decay
With every pulse the lifeblood runs thicker and thicker

It'll have to stop flowing some time...
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
I dreamt I dreamt I had a dream
With many a face
That did not seem out of place
By my crying, my sobbing, my screams

They found me alive with only my life
Watching the world go by
Must I wake from this mistake
Or must I keep my dreams alive?
CJ Hattingh Mar 2015
As darkness unfolds beneath my feet
I fall into the void
A cold chill engulfs my being
I am all alone

As I fall I see a light

It flies past me too quick to catch

It disappears

I am all alone.
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
What if we were all afraid?
What would we do if we were all restrained
By fear
By guilt
By each other.
Life would slow
We would all  know what it is to grow old
But we would not dare
We would not care
To enjoy
To love
To grow.
But we know the limits of our fright
So we can take our long awaited flight!
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
Lost
Hurt
Broken and chained
When will this suffering end?
Will I ever be free of you and your spiteful love
or will we be forever friends?
I would choose otherwise
but this is the pain I grew to love.
CJ Hattingh Dec 2014
I tried my best
I put everything into our love
I committed myself to keep you happy
I was blinded by your empty promises

You mistook me for a fool
You thought I wouldn't find out
You say you still love me
You say that you're going to stop

I know he broke you before I met you
I understand your reasons not your pain
I wanted to help you, but

You wouldn't let me
You kept me out
You broke me

Goodbye

PS. I still love you
Lost a person that meant a lot to me, and still does. I don't know how to handle this and I'm quite raw inside.
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
and then
everybody died.
CJ Hattingh Mar 2015
In the darkest of shadows
I crawl through the thorns
trying to find my way back to sanity

My feeble screams cannot be heard by anyone
I am alone in my torment
broken and alone

Fading from existence I try to get a grip
on the meaning of this pain
I cannot find my way...
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
We are all mortal
designed to die.

We are all mortal,
so, to a new world we fly
like birds

on the wings of death
we fly to peace
we fly to freedom

for we are all mortals
and we must die.
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
My mind
is in another time

my mind
is in another world

my mind
has spread it's wings
and flew-

but where to
I cannot say.

my mind
is neither here
nor there

my mind
has not a thought to spare
for the reality around me

my mind
has gone
and left me here
with this world to bare.
CJ Hattingh Oct 2014
You started to grow on me like moss on a tree
You are the only one that has ever set me free
from the ties that were binding me to darkness

You found me out in the cold
scared and alone
You brought me back
from the edge of insanity
and let me crawl into your heart

Now you are a part of me
no longer alone and empty
for all eternity

i love you
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
It makes me sad to see
the blind masses
who try to be
so worthy

They try too hard
for them to see
what a life
they can lead

We are here and now
there is no will
to which we must bow

We command our dreams
we are the ones who
must tear the seams

An eternity from today
what will be left
of what we are?
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
Madness came.

I watched as he took residents within my battered skull
bringing with him a freedom of sorts.
As the demon took hold he started eating away my emotions and
I became aware of the soothing darkness contained within my soul.

Peace came and I was Happy.

I was a cold person all along
but yet a flicker of flame remained.
CJ Hattingh Apr 2015
I painted a picture today
using only red and white
The wall covered behind me
such a pretty sight

With a flick of my finger
I made the portrait appear
Now that I've lost my mind
I have nothing left to fear
CJ Hattingh Oct 2014
He came down with the cold and the dark
to reap from us all that we hold dear in this world
He came from behind with his wicked blade clenched tight
His expression a devilish smile
and a stare of the doom that he brings with him
And so our time will come
And so we shall greet this world

Go with the faceless man and let him lead us to our final destination
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
Madness stricken they left me here
to rot in my own sanity
a lost soul
burdened to dwell within the halls
of my broken mind

this is my cross to bare
and none shall ever know
on the outside I'm just myself
but inside I died long ago.
CJ Hattingh Apr 2015
When posed the question:
"What do you want out of life"
I reply
"Life forced me to be here, all I want from life is death"
CJ Hattingh Mar 2015
I am here to see you burn
to see you choke on my pain
to make you see my broken body

Regret blinds you
as my vengeance finds you

Buried beneath a heap of torment
you suffocate as I laugh

Too bad you killed me
Now these are just wild fantasies
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
I am Death
We all are
We are the ones for whom the bells toll

What comes next?

Darkness
or
Soul
CJ Hattingh Apr 2015
Lately I've been feeling disconnected from life
I feel caged within myself
My senses are dulled
and my mind is numb.

Am I asleep?
I feel the need to wake up
but I'm afraid that if I do, the nightmare will start again.
CJ Hattingh Mar 2015
As the summer rain came pouring down
I found myself longing for the coldness of your winter

Deeply entrenched in the freezing depths of your unforgiving love

I am alone now

But the warm summer rains will keep me alive
You
CJ Hattingh Jun 2014
You
why am i dead inside
why do i have an ice cold heart
why can i not find love
why am i here

because of you.

— The End —