As I'm waiting for you
in a sea of light
the blinding flashes burning
even in the dead of night

As I look out
up at the moon and stars
I wonder faintly, softly,
exactly where you are

I'm hoping that you'll here this
this melody of mine
because with your lack of conscience
maybe you'll understand mine

You're shining down upon me
I'm embraced by your arms
these tendrils of light
dancing in front of me

I know that you understand
my pain, my mind, my heart
because you just listen silently
like a beautiful sky of stars

Just a lonely girl
wishing someone understood her
she talks to the moon
hoping for an answer

As the light above her
drowns out all her fears
every night she comes to stand
under your light again.

I'm sorry
falls on deaf ears
I love you
is caught by the wind

torn away from me
are the thoughts in my head
as they spin rapidly before my as
tell me, am I dead?

for when I wake, all I see is black
I heard nothing, but now a laugh
** is there? Can anybody answer
or am I left here, afraid

I heard 'I Love you'
My love is that you?
What have you done to me
where are you now?

You haunt my waking moments
and comfort me in dreams
but when the evening comes again
nothing is what it seems

You are my nightmare
you are my ghost
you are my tortures,
my untitled love.

Light up the darkness
in your eyes.
Make it shine with a million
fireflies.
don't let me rule you,
because you rule yourself.
I don't want to be the reason you drown.

wake us up when it's over
and the sun is overhead.
wake us up when the night sky
is going to bed.
So the thoughts don't creep back in,
and the world is left again
in an ocean of warmth and light.

Don't let us see inside
the fire.
don't let us hear your
screams of torture.
don't let us hear that you
been wishing to yourself
that you were already dead.

Watching the tears
Roll down your face
I can't help but think
This was all a waste

Why does this happen?
Why do I care
After all
You were never there

I don’t want to hurt you
But I guess I did
Even though
I’m the one who’s broken

My face is a mask
Full of pain and despair
But obviously
You don’t know it’s there.

You scream at me
I didn’t do a thing
But yet you still stand here
Crying in front of me

I close my eyes
Feeling the wetness
Haring my hoarse voice scream
As I gaze into the mirror

The sun falling down
Fire raging through the town
Nothing left but ash

Bathing green with red
Leaving nothing except ash
Blackening slowly

What was once pretty
Covered with smoldering flames
As the flames flicker

The day of love
Ahh, can you feel it in the air?
The answer is no.
No, you can't.
Because you are single, not taken,
and nobody around you is exuding love in an aura
because that is impossible for the human race to do so.
SO no, Valentine's day is not a day of love.
It is a day of eating chocolate
and is the same as you've ever been.

You are my ghostly apparition in the night,
appearing when I close my eyes.
I don't know if I'm dreaming,
or if this is the cold, hard reality.
I'm sorry-
I can't finish that sentence,
I need to say it. I need to-
Deep breaths.
One...Two...Three
I'm sorry that you feel the need to be with me.
There. I said it.
I am sorry that you are watching over me.
I am sorry.
I need to tell you something.
Are you here?
I can't feel you anymore.
Please, have you left me alone?
I'm grateful, I truly am.
But you need to go now.
I don't need to be watched over any longer,
your job is done.
I-
No, I can't say it.
Oh, Vengeful Spirit,
apparatus of my despair.
I-
I love you, but you don't belong here-
with me.
I don't know who you are,
but I ask of you-
No, I'm begging you,
Let me go.

Opinionated; selfish; greedy
lazy, too high strung; needy.
not girly enough, tomboy
well guess what, I never asked to be your toy.

"You'll never get anywhere with an attitude like that"
First off, *******, nobody asked for your input.
Trust issues won't let me love
anxiety won't let me sleep

leave me here to burn; the rage is a parasite
and I'm spitting fire at those who get too close to the light
But there's no light here, no it's buried deep inside
getting weaker by the day, a classic case of suicide

Maybe then you'll regret it because I know I sure have
The way you talk to me, but that's how it's always been.
You start the fight, only ending when one of us end up in tears
is this how a mother and daughter are supposed to act?

I've never known any different,
paranoia watching my back like it's **** or be killed.
though I guess it is; my mind tries to suffocate me in thoughts too deep.
I can't swim, not in the tar that invades my skull,
filling my nose and leaving a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

I don't know how to vent, bottles filled with trapped darkness
swirling in vortexes that get stronger
until the bottle bursts in a dangerously beautiful explosion
that leaves my world spinning and my mind fragile like the shards
that I'm left to pick up all on my own.
even paranoia has deserted me.

instead, I am greeted by a friend named Depression,
who invites over Tired, and Anxious, and Apathetic,
Pathetic.
Is this how it's always gonna be?
No way to get help.
No way to release the demon inside me without consequence?

No help from the family who knows
the family who witnessed firsthand
the scars, the pain, the anger
the hurt.

I guess they're as shallow as I am empty.

Life is a bittersweet journey.
No way to predict its outcome,
guided only by the cemented memories of the past.
Everyone leaves there mark on this world,
large, small, wherever it may be.

A warm hand, a soft touch,
the gentle caress of the breeze
as I run fingers through my hair.

Through fire, ice, storms, and grassy plains,
I will keep walking onward,
towards the horizon that calls to me.

The path is steep, there are twists, and turns
and unyielding walls that we must climb to our future
but the view at the top-
it must be beautiful.
It'll all be worth it once I finally reach the peak
of the mountain we call
Life.

I'll get there someday,
but for now,
A day at a time
is all we can achieve.

My thoughts smash through my skull,
bursting forth with a stream of words
that I can neither control nor stop.
Why was I created this way?
It is still never what I want to say.
No, that is reserved for the paper in which
I spend my days hiding in.
Diving into the endless recesses of my mind
to scratch and dig and pick out
a single strand of pain that filters
through the rest of my body,
so that I can feel raw and unbridled
as I scratch ink on the paper
in a scrawl that is nearly ineligible
not even I can read it.
So instead I let my fingers
go numb from gliding across keys,
so that all may hear my scream
instead of taking that pen and inking my arm
in red, red ink.
So much ink that it passes my skin and bleeds into my veins
just to mingle with the blood
and flow back out in rejection
of all that I was, and all that I am.

When the sky of haze begins to darken
and shadows are cast in the night
when street lamps are dulled, almost blackened
and the moon is covered in a haze

The fog creeps in; blots out everything like ink
all sight is abandoned; all hearing muffled
as the swirls of mist thicken; like walking through water
always pushing and pulling; dragging you under and farther

Nothing else makes sense, but the one clear thought in your head
Will you sink; or will you swim
Becuase you're in over your head again
and there's no one to save you anymore

As the fog rolls away; you're left there on the cold ground
but everything's changed or was it just a dream
you're still just standing, in the middle of your room
you have no clue; what's gotten into you?

you lay back down; close your eyes
watch the clock as time flies on by
You head is spinning; dizzy, words repeating
it makes no sense; just one clear thought in your head
Am I really alive; or am I just dead?

The surface of the water ripples
like little portals to another world
the stone sinks through
and then disappears

The water becomes still
the portals have closed
but maybe, just maybe
I can still get through

To go to another place
far away from here
where I have no one
and no one cares

Maybe if I got there
people with love me
I'll be happy
I'll be wanted

The ripples, a splash
is all that's left
swallowing the stone like mist
before everything disappears

"Could you spare a moment?
I need to talk to you,
it's important."

"Not right now,
I'm busy.
Can we talk later?"

"Oh, okay."

And we never talk.

What is hatred
if not a feeling so strong it
rips apart the seams of love?

What is love
if not a feeling so strong
it can mend the broken pieces of a heart?

What am I
if not a girl with a dream
too large for her skull?

When everything you say
has no impact at all
what did you expect from them?
Everything, or maybe just something

Even if it's a little bit
you just want them to care

Where has the love gone?
Am I unwanted?
Am I broken?
I've spent countless nights awake,
dying to live and living to die.

Where has the time gone?
Am I worthless?
Am I useless?
I lie in bed, wishing on stars
But unable to see them shine.

Where has my mind gone?
Am I insane?
Am I depressed?
I count the sheep
but they always run in circles.

Where has the happiness gone?
Am I afraid?
Am I angry?
I watch the moments pass
but I stay frozen in a place where I hate myself.

Where has the sun gone?
Am I alone?
Am I lonely?
A  crowd surrounds me,
But I'm alone in my world.

Am I broken?
Am I useless?
I'm a waste of space without a purpose.
There's nothing for me to save.
There's no one to save me.

Please, somebody help me
I'm losing my mind.
I'm drowning in the countless lies
I've told myself
it would be alright
but it's not.
I'm not.
Please.
Someone.
                                Save my Broken Mind.

Have you ever wondered
how you find love?
How to make someone
notice you?

Will it ever be enough,
to know that you worked hard?
But yet people who do nothing,
overshadow you.

When nothing you do
is ever enough for people to see
for people to tell you
good job?

When you work hard
every waking moment
until the minute you go
to sleep

Hurting yourself
in overexertion
to make them see you
for who you are

But they don't.
Is it all just wishful thinking?
That the hard workers will be noticed
that everything will be fine?

All the effort I put in...
is nothing to them
but everything to me
I just want to be accepted.

It's all just worthless
because no matter what I want
It's all just....
wishful thinking.

Nothing’s what it seems
Our dreams are turned into ash
Father’s love won’t last

Once so kind, now cruel
As he leaves us and now you
Father’s love won’t last

He leaves us to dream
About what his love could mean
Father’s love won’t last

My eyes are haunting
Your lies are daunting
My mind is fading
From all your hating

I hear you calling
You see me falling
You are smiling
I am breaking

My pain is fading
Your words are swirling
My voice is cracking
Your patience is thinning

You aren’t laughing
But you are taunting
I am crying
I am dying

I was hated
I was faded
I was abandoned
I was jaded

You were the torturer
You were the tormenter
You were the slaughterer
My worst enemy, my murderer