"unconcious" poems
Last week, Cortney moved into a four story apartment
with seven twenty-something year old roomates, all boys.
The men share the first three floors.
while Cortney has the enire top floor to herself.
I spent the night there saturday night.
And around 10:00pm
a twenty-three year old boy
Blonde, baby faced, named Kevin Smith
stumbled drunk into Cortneys penthouse room.
Kevin smith removed his pants, and crawled into bed with us.
Kevin Smith nuzzled into my face, pulled me close, and rested his hand,
firmly on my ***
Kevin Smiths breath smelled of *** coffee, (and a man who regularly brushes his teeth.
Good Job Kevin Smith.)
At first, Cortney and I assumed Kevin Smith was each other.
after further, mostly-unconcious, inventory of our limbs,
we gathered this was neither the case, nor a hallucination.
Cortney flopped dryly for her cellphone and shined it's light at Kevin Smith.
"What the **** Shouted Cortney.
No response from Kevin Smith.
"What the ****
We got out of bed and put clothes on,
laughed at how ridiculous it was
that a drunk stranger just grabbed my ***
while an unconcious Kevin Smith laid in Cortneys bed.
Kevin Smith sat up
"This is really telling. I uh..."
Cortney cut him off
"Get out."
As she turned on the light.
"Can you guys call my phone?" Asked Kevin Smith,
"No." Said Cortney
Get out of my room."
physically pushing Kevin Smith out of her room.
Cortney held up Kevin Smiths drunk zanax filled body on the stairs.
preventing Kevin Smith from otherwise falling down said stairs and dying.
Kevin Smith showed his appreciation by saying,
"High fives all around"
I watched Cortney strattle drunk Kevin Smith awkwardly, yet also motherly
down the stairs.
I leaned over the railing and high fived Kevin Smith.
"I just want you to know," mumbled Kevin Smith
you guys are my friends.
You don't need to.. I got this".
"No, you really don't" said Cortney,
"if you fall down or throw up on me
you owe me $20"
Cortney delivered Kevin Smith to his bed.
Kevin Smith mumbled something, and Cortney returned upstairs.
"What the **** Laughed Cortney.
"What the **** I replied.
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 11, 2016 at 9:16 AM UTC
He was tortured for months
Lived worse than in hell.
Nd after all those tryings
When he finally broke free,
He couldn't bring himself
To peace again.
"you need to face your demons to fight them"
So he went back to the town
He was held captive in for months,
Not expecting to meet the demon of his nightmares
Again on the same road he first met him.
"I can't bring myself to hate you"
"you've made me like this.....you've made me to like this"
So he decided to give his captor
All the hell he went through.
Not because he wanted to wrong
The other,
But because he wanted to give
His forced unconcious feelings
A reason to be satisfied.
But for the demon
The hell was not really hell.
It gave birth to a heaven
In his heart.
They both knew it
They both loved it
They both loved each other.
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 11:43 AM UTC
To death in love!
The eye of ones heart closes for their beloved, their most precious treasure of them all clouded by emotions stored for them deep within
Unanswered love leads to a stinging mind of the subscocious, caught and rose by a burning ember of feelings, turning into an inferno,
Blinded by it, they will not acknowledge the falsities of their partner, nor their mistakes or even their treaciousness, as for them he is perfect, conciously imaged as the ideal and the best they ever had,
But no! God forbids, they learn about the art of blinding love while they sink to the bottom of a sea of passion and affection, in a last remote of a courtain call to simple yet manifest carelessness,
Small lies lead to grand falsities overlooked by a noncaring closed eye
Rekindled in a dream they rather follow their instincs than the truth,
Illusions cast by embers of love deep within the unconcious, like a courtain to be blocked from all light, holding on to dear of what is loved and cherished, praised and adored, an emotion leading stray,
The philosophy of a hated person, would be to never close the open eye of ones heart, so you fall not too hard when you begin to love,
But when all falls apart, realisation is like the thorns of countless roses
It is the heart sign of selfless love.
~ Umi
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 4, 2018 at 8:52 AM UTC
Firm hands
Visage, chiselled by gods
I pray upon the temple
Intertwined fingers
Sinful embrace
I have longed a touch for Mars
So far, yet he saw the wood,
The hill,
The Temple.
The Mars enraged!
Raging howl of a lone canine
Digging of what the burried desire has for him
Digging, digging
Dig!
The Lumberjack fervently saws the hills
O God! Visage with a burning desire!
Not a tune of emotion compares to what this broken vision has seen
Not a tune of reality passes him.
Unconcious by the dew,
Concious by the sun
Ending the sin of a forbidden bind.
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 1:38 AM UTC
Constantly trying to stay awake
Not enough time asleep
Because the thought perturbs me
Why waste time unconcious
Sleep should be a choice
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 3:23 PM UTC
"Although
many of us consider black to be a color, black is actually
defined as the absence of color, hence, Darkness is a place which is the
absence of the FATHER's Light." - Peter R Farley - Where Were You
Before The Tree Of Life - The True History of The Darkness and The Light
It is close to being headless, to be without a father
and how and where do we investigate who or what the responsible force
is?...
It is simply a recurring method, divide and rule
Here in the matrix you have black, brown, white and yellow races
in some places not made famous you have orange and red and blue races
So what is colour? The texture of light perhaps
So then, what is black?
Nothing, void. So then how does one refer to a whole race as nothing?
it's really simple, where there is nothing there has to be something
so the something is revered and valued as significant
and what about the nothing? Well the nothing will be made to serve the
something
But was is not from the void that worlds were created? From thought, now
thought an important factor for the nothing would be denigrated to such
an extent as to not be able to think
so from this comes an inferior race and a supercilious race
Not to blame the supercilious race for it too was manipulated into
having high esteem -
so where are the parents?
You find a black and a white wrestling unconcious of the fact that they
could consciously be cousins
In simple terms, if we are all Light then we stem from the same tree
however with polarization or dualty find we lower degree
and this state imprisons us to hate one another for one reason or the
other
And it is within memory that black and white races have been fighting
for millenia
With this, both races would boast a pride and a willingness to defend
one's culture at all costs
But then as children when do we grow and gather the gods in one room to
hear their views and differences?
When will we rise above demographics to save the human race?
and beyond other races being exploited throughout the galaxies
What would we learn if these members of Councils and Houses were
gathered in one room?
Would we learn that this universe is not perfect?
But then what is perfection?
Hyperthetically, an idea of supremacy and completeness which sets the
standards that all things and people should conform to... That is, as
far as the powers define
It is a responsibility to search within our hearts for what is true and eternal
It is a choice we make to be continually affected by the sicknesses of society
It is a voluntary action to uplift the houses that govern however sincere and well-meaning they may appear
however promises are never kept and human beings taken for granted
It is a soul's obligation to yearn for its liberty such that we too, as Ascended Masters, can graduate and become Renaissance Man.
Dec 29, 2013
Dec 29, 2013 at 9:25 AM UTC
Walking down the street
your hearts are skipping the exact same beats.
A unison that anyone would wish for.
He came out of the darkness
as the most unpleasant surprise.
Reeking of demise
he stole her from your grasp.
One hand over her mouth and one hand over her heart
he sprinted
but you boy, you ran after her.
You ran and ran until your stomach screamed;
until your feet began to bleed.
Oh how you cried.
That man, he took her to a isolated place
so that she would have to face
him. And only him.
Her screams, were insignificant because at that moment
she was no one.
The look in his eyes as he undressed her was
mortifying.
She tried to run, she tried to scream but he was in control.
Then he plunged; breaking the skin that kept her innocense so beautiful.
& he plunged; scraping the walls of her ****** making her bleed.
& HE PLUNGED into her heart, soul, and mind
making her cry.
Oh how she cried.
And you boy, you heard her screams.
But they were hushed by your own dreadful sobbing;
Bawling yourself into an unconcious state of failure and loss.
And that girl, she was paralyzed with pain;
Drenched with the strange white substance that filled her with
s h a m e.
Her ****** had been bruised and scarred by the monster.
She said, "God.. God I know you can hear me. Help me. You are not going to let me die."
That man he turned around and laughed.
Smiling as he said, "Girl. Sweet, sweet girl.
I am Anastatious and this is your sacrifice."
Feb 4, 2010
Feb 4, 2010 at 1:25 PM UTC
8:00 pm
My parents tucked me in at night
my dad smiled at me, kissing me goodnight
my mom sat at the edge of my bed
reading me a bedtime story
departing as I drifted off into a dreaming faze
thats what they would always do
9:00 pm
My parents tucked me in at night
my dad hugged me
turned and left to bed
my mom sat at the edge of my bed
telling me to get better grades
because I was failing math
10:00 pm
My parents tucked me in at night
my dad went to bed before me
patting my shoulder as he passed
shutting that wooden door behind him
my mom cracking the door open "night"
I smiled as I worked through my homework
11:00 pm
My parents tucked me in at night
my mom sitting behind the bright computer screen
telling me to go to bed because she was to busy
my dad huddled under the covers snoring softly
behind that white wooden door
I sat alone in my cold room
12:00 am
I tucked myself into bed
tears streaming from my hallow eyes
sorrowing tremors shaking my fragile bones
knees drawn to my chest, attempt to hold myself together
a trail of dark scarlett snaking down my arm to my finger tips
my head a hazy storm, I lean back unconcious, asleep
My parents never tucked me in
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
I witness the carnivalesque dance of illusion
the self conscious telling of a familiar story
a darkening tone, the synthesing
of incompatible perspectives
that cause an incandescent agony
of self-inflicted wounds
caused by the somatizing of events by others
but leads to epiphanic illuminations
the transformative energies of disintigration
where all the beauty that is inherent in the ordinary
becomes clear
everthing lights up with the glow
of the quantum expansion of great silences
and I can retrieve from the unconcious
something I know but have forgotten
Dec 4, 2012
Dec 4, 2012 at 4:48 PM UTC
My lungs are burning
And I start to sweat,
Not being able to breathe
Is my biggest threat.
My lungs fill with water,
And my breath gets shallow,
My chest is pounding,
But my heart is hollow.
My pulse is slowing,
And my stress is on the rise,
The pressure inside me is increasing,
As tears gather in my eyes.
My throat starts to shrink,
And my airway begins to close,
I begin to fall unconcious,
And blood drips from my nose.
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 4, 2015 at 11:29 AM UTC
Like a 21st century Snow White in her crystal casket,
You can find me in the frozen aisle, lying on a bed of ice cream tubs and chicken kievs,
Unconcious.
Slide the plexiglass door open,
Pick me up.
Do not worry if your freezer looks too small,
I can bend, I can fold.
You can consume me tonight, tomorrow, next week, six months from now and I won't expire.
It doesn't take too much to cook me,
Yet it shows you haven't done enough cooking in your life to know
That once meat is defrosted, you can't freeze it again and expect it to taste good.
Jul 30, 2021
Jul 30, 2021 at 3:53 PM UTC
Arrived late to the early bird special for the heavens of my mind
I'm a hard boiled egg in a soft shell crab waiting to be swallowed by a ***** swamp filled with ugly crocodiles in the same vein at the same time
Looking for a broader spectrum of potential unknowing whispers
whispered a sweet something about a whole lot of maybes in my ear lobe.
Caterpillars sing songs to September
slowly crawling back in time encouraging a butterfly of memories
where two left winged hearts collided making supper with our doubts
about unconcious recollections where we are mapping out the signs of new breakfast and bedrooms.
Investigate the vacancies of hearts you wish to keep with an open ended pitch of the other ones who seek you out.
Heart's for rent here
Who's the last tenant that moved out? Blur kaleidoscope of old addresses with similar layouts
Because you're looking for French bathtubs in old Victorians
And with the right selling line
It's just a vintage room lined with dusty curtains and a sunroof with penetrated ceilings
A character of wills you say,
blueprint of rented feelings.
Stir a cocktail of shock waves
from stone cold realizations
while i mull steadily on my unsure
recollection of what you meant when you said I'm the best thing
you've found in a long time.
But that's just a new line
you've heard wiser men say
So you say it without hesitation and
make earlier reservations.
God, this could take an hour
Or a second if your patient
Adapt to different payments
Unusual affective statements
Encase it in sarcastic shell
crack it by the cases
Sew it at the seams make sure
I seem real sure of your supposed
intentions.
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 7:43 PM UTC
When I was born my brother
saw bad creatures in my cott
so he used a toy car to stab my leg
it bled bad and started to clott
mum thought they tried to take me
the night that I was born
found me stuck behind the head board
unconcious in the morn
when I was four and he was six
Neil saw something on tv
so he touched with a piece of lead
was it a changeling or just me
guess he stopped believing
that my soul was taken out
I think they ****** fooled you
put more in I have no doubt
I never fitted in to well
for all my living days
except for now I don't know how
there's a wind blowing my way
Feb 15, 2011
Feb 15, 2011 at 3:23 PM UTC
Your soft hair gleams in the light,
a morning selfie that graces my feed.
The more I gaze into your deep eyes,
the longer I feel as if could fall into them, longingly wishing to tell you,
how much I adore you.
That I, am in awe of your unconcious beauty,
perplexed by your layered originality.
Like a poet with a new novel, I so desperately desire to read farther into you,
yet be gentle as if I am handling a hundred
year old book.
But I, I am no one.
Not a complete, not a singular.
I am merely stiched from pieces of others,
a poor art collage of a human.
Hopelessly, I cannot possibly aim to be even half of what you are,
or that,
which you surely will become.
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 26, 2018 at 10:13 PM UTC
i want your body.
i want to call you mine.
i want your hand to hold
your eyes to stare into.
i want your arms to hold me all night long
i want you to scare all my nightmares and monsters away.
i want you to love me.
i want your loving heart.
i want you.
you look at me,
you kiss me tenderly.
i feel the warmth of your lips and i fall in love with you all over again.
you whisper in my ear that you want more.
im scared.
can i trust you?
we tangle our limbs
slippery with each others sweat.
sticky love.
i fall asleep
fall unconcious into the night.
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 12:42 AM UTC
Catch me like snowflakes on the tip of your tongue
Take me way back to they days we were young
Flickering waves of nostalgia crash on shores of my mind
Regret rolls in then right back out much like the oceans tide
Melding seamlesslessly into these rivers composed of tears
The horizontal sea is darker and deeper than it appears
Where your memories have drowned inside a wet washed up grave
Staring back at photographs documenting love we couldn't save
Your unconcious eyes have no longing for my smile
Seeking to be with someone else for awhile
Catch me
My wings are too broken to fly
Too late I find out when I am falling from the sky
For I always seem to jump the gun before being fully prepared
Which wouldn't be a problem if you had genuinely cared
For just a few years ago your affection was solely mine to keep
How could I not have noticed we were getting in too deep?
Priorities out of order
I guess we ran out of time
And you stopped idolizing the person once considered so sublime
And in your haste to discover something shiny and new
You overlooked the treasure you had right in front of you
Mar 29, 2021
Mar 29, 2021 at 6:22 PM UTC
My thoughts are on a merry go round,
churning my mind in perpetual cycles
till it has been named chaos.
A certain memory rings in my ear,
deafening out the world;
as it climbs and slithers down my spine
echoing through the hollow shell I've become.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 6:58 PM UTC
I find when I'm alone with my thoughts
questions arise
why do we only use roughly 10-14% of our brains potential
what if we could use more?
Say perhaps, most of it
what hidden secrets could we unlock?
could we hold entire conversations without saying a word?
I sit and ponder in my time alone,
are we part of a human collective conciousness that we have yet to rediscover
all our past, present and futures intertwined though at present we are too ignorant to the fact to accept it,
But...
what if we do and we move toward understanding how exactly the unconcious mind works ,
are dreams we have clues to something larger that we simply pass off as "silly dreams"merely because we cannot comprehend what we are being told?
Here we are in the 21st century and still we do not understand where our minds/concious being goes when we are put under anesthesia,
we simply are not there!
I for one find this a topic of immense wonder
It has been proven that while under the influence of powerful mind altering drugs that certain portions of the brain seem to be "unlocked"
and register off the charts
Anyway just one of the things I like to ponder when I'm alone with my thoughts.
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 8:24 PM UTC
Devils whisper in his ears,
Of death threats and hatred.
Now, there he laid,
With a slow beeping of his heart,
Unconcious,
With his soul gripping to live,
And his mind weakening.
《 e.i 》
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 6, 2017 at 7:34 AM UTC
Unconcious hopes change into filtered dreams
barely remembered as centuries turn bones to dust-
we despair as crippled loves just fade to ash.
You've gone so far away, yet I see you every day
out of the corner of my eye and the eye of my mind.
So now you've reappeared, just pretend that it's alright.
Don't worry, I don't mind, because without you, I was blind.
Moving on with you by my side never made much sense,
but it happens, oddly enough.
I need to learn to let it go;on the wings of an angel,
or falling down the face of a cliff like the teardrop that is life.
Breaking the boundaries that are bones,
stoppin the rythm of your heart that keeps you imprisoned.
Your memory eternal, like the passing of a baton,
or the flame of these burning pages
from a burnt hand to one unscarred, unscathed.
Spreading like a wildfire, a disease, rotting your mind
from the moment our hands touched.
Do anything to put the festering memories at rest,
All choice is gone, so doesn't hope have to die as well?
They churn your stomach, you crawl in your skin,
eager to tear yourself away from it all
and leave your pain in the grave of the past.
The idea of carrying the mistake is to learn from it all,
but what do we do if it's too much for a single back to bear?
Involve another, rely on friends like pillars
supporting the weight of your Hell
so much that a moment alone leaves you pinned to the floor,
unable to move, to do anything but shake and scream,
but it won't be the first time.
No such thing as an overreaction
when your life magnifies every emotion.
Jealousy and anger, your endless pain even in elation.
All mountainous highs and pitch black holes in the earth.
Losing momentum until you flatline,
but even then gravity takes its course,
dragging you to the center while your heart still beats,
though you're unable to feel warmth inside or out any longer.
Dream of a funeral, of the sound of lamenting friends.
Life is a cloudless day, but without color,
or the twin beats of the sun on your face and your heart,
it might as well be a winter night.
Oct 9, 2011
Oct 9, 2011 at 10:07 PM UTC
I'm getting that feeling again....that feeling that makes me wanna kick the bucket. Someone help! I've got another extreme case of the fuck-its.
Feeling pleasure but on the verge of death, temporary relief from a life that's wrecked. In this moment, I'm oddly content but when it all comes down, it's only me I resent. Wallow in regret, continuing my life as a hopeless degenerate.
Why is it always chaos I crave? I swear this restlessness is gonna take me to my grave.
What did I do to deserve all this? How can I get back all the consciousness I've missed?
It seems I can't find a way to fix my mind, endlessly searching for answers I'm never going to find. I wish I could find a better way to pass the time. I know what I'm doing yet act as though I'm blind. In a world with so much beauty, I feel so confined. I'll sit and loathe as life passes by.
Gimme, gimme, gimme...more, more, more. Everyday struggling for that next score. I've become so cynical, life's such a bore. Don't even wake me up, my hard head is fine right here on the floor.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 10:48 AM UTC
Sticking your fingers out,
The feeling of the wind against
the pattern if your skin;
kissing it.
Sun rays seeping through the glass,
Hair flying everywhere
As her laugh emitted through my ears
Like music.
And I stared at her.
I stared at her like it was my last.
And she was so beautiful.
God, she was so beautiful.
And it all came by so fast.
With her fingers now hanging off the bed,
pale and unconcious.
I wanted to kiss her awake.
Tell her I was here.
I always was
I regretted doing it.
I regretted looking at her longer,
And never payed any attention to
Tomorrow.
Because I knew there was tomorrow.
And then it beeped.
The machine came to a halt
And I felt the salty, bitter tears,
Streaming down my face.
My face that hasn't moved the way it used to.
And I fell down
Off my chair
Like a toddler
Getting left alone.
And I felt weak.
Lifeless.
Breathless in the worst way possible.
And she was gone.
As was I
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 6:02 AM UTC
He is the only man
that can make me truly smile
he is always there
whenever im on my darkest affair
our tiny conversation
makes my lips smile wide in some reason
the man who makes me smile
is now on the battle of his life
he's in the midst of life and death
but i know he's fighting because he never wanted to just leave us there
all we do is nothing and waiting
but we all know that it's worth waiting
i hope i was with him
so this scene is not happening
i hope i can take care of him
i hope i can touch him
but i can't, all i do is sobbing
he is miles far away
all i do is carrying this phone with his photos and voice recording
i've been trying to think of positive thoughts
distracting myself because my mind floats
why is life so unfair
i want to be with him
but why can't i be on where he is
I have to be strong because i know i can do this
This cheerful guy looks peaceful in his deep sleep
wake up stubborn man, your taking to much sleep
he's like a withered rose
he's smiles becomes emotionless
because this tough guy is lying on the hospital bed
unconcious and have nothing except from his hospital dress
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 12:19 PM UTC
Reminisced in syrupy spirits
Oak-aged in malt, turned viscous and slow
Like the neurons that are supposed to send happiness shooting through my brain.
Slow.. slow.. but oh so steady. Like watching a grandfather tick and on every tock the happiness fades away and age gathers with dust on old lineolium floors.
I'm a sucker for sleeping pills, herbal remedies (not real medicines though), malted barelys and strong hops. All things that make being a pile of concious earth easier to deal with. All things that take me one day closer to being a lump of unconcious earth, scored in a fire and reduced to ashes.
Sometimes the notion of godliness and of an everlasting holy Spirit floods over me and I'm transcended into the wind. Then reality. The one of many I'm stuck in, ***** me back in like a black hole. A black hole, void of feeling plagued with death, politics, corruption, greed, war, poverty, racism, brutality. A reality where my fingers type on a phone screen and where I actually think I say things and where I actually think I make love only to realize none of its real. I'm not godly nor transcended. I'm a useless lump of earth bound to descend into unconcious sleep forever.
Jul 22, 2016
Jul 22, 2016 at 3:20 AM UTC
I know i am devil bad,
but now am very sad,
sitting on the bench thinking my own sins,
and a hollownes in me it brings,
warm droplets of salt realising
me,
what i've done and what i am doing,
still sitting ideal but unconcious mind is running,
the clots of shouting waves in my head.
I just want to cut my hand,
let's bleed it way for me it's not made,
smile for clicks are all fake,
am drunked and dont want to do any thing,
want to leave everyone dont mind please,
am tierd of doing efforts to being alone,
because i cant stood up my own,
it's hurts to be fallen,
all i know that i am broken,
dark lines under my eyes,
all dreams are shatterd now which always flied,
in my mind,
all i have but still it seems to be empty,
all around there is love and am still thirsty,
habit of lossing made me a liar,
i wish but i know i can't fill my desire,
i dont want to broke other's hope's,
because i know how much it hurts when it brokes,
i dont want to fall in depression's trap,
just only i cant feel how i am sad.
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 9:12 AM UTC