i am trucking cowboy truckings all i know
dont have time to think just get up and go
no matter what the weather dosent bother me
rolling  down the highway rolling wild and free,

driving through the night driving through the day
driving anywhere miles and miles away
i can feel the freedom as i drive along
listen to the radio play a good ole country song

watching all the headlights lighting up the night
driving down the highway in the lights so bright
in my trucking home it makes me feel so free
brings a sense of freedom wakes the soul in me.

i am trucking cowboy truckings all i know
dont have time to think just get up and go
no matter what the weather dosent bother me
rolling  down the highway rolling wild and free,

driving miles and miles i really just dont care
driving any place driving anywhere
in my trucking home it makes me feel so free
brings a sense of freedom wakes the soul in me.

driving miles and miles driving anywhere
no matter where i go i dont really care
i can feel the freedom as i drive along
listen to the radio play a good ole country song

i am trucking cowboy truckings all i know
dont have time to think just get up and go
no matter what the weather dosent bother me
rolling  down the highway rolling wild and free,

im a lonesome trucker down and feeling blue
my baby she has left me for somebody new
driving down the road with teardrops in my eyes
with my trucking blues and a heart thats full of sighs

radio is playing the songs we listened to
my sunshine dissapeared from the skies of blue
thinking of the things that we used to do
even in my truck i cant drive away from you

ive got the trucking blues since i dont have you
im a lonesome man dont know what to do
with my broken heart i try to carry on
got the trucking blues now  my love has gone

when i hear a love song on the radio
my eyes begin to water then the teardrops flow
i still love you so  theres nothing i can do
here inside my heart theres still a flame for you

ive got the trucking blues since i dont have you
im a lonesome man dont know what to do
with my broken heart i try to carry on
got the trucking blues now  my love has gone

daddy was a trucking man thats all he ever knew
everywhere he went daddy took me to
listen to the country songs as he drove along
we would sing together to a country song

travel every highway in his 16 wheeler friend
every dusty road each and every bend
daddy told me stories of places he has been
about his trucking days all the things he seen

he would talk to friends on his CB radio
all his CB buddies that he got to know
someday when im older ill be a trucker to
doing all things me and daddy used to do

i wont forget my daddy and his trucking way
all the country songs that he used to play
every where he went he would take me to
trucking was his life all he ever knew

rolling down the highway in 16 tons of steel
i can hear the rumble of each and every wheel
foot down on the throttle as fast as i can go
delivering my haul dont have time to slow.

listening to the songs on the radio
as i sing along to the ones i know
destination tuscon is where im in heading for
turn around again head back home once more.

in my big old truck with its empty load
rolling on again down the same old road.
back home to the depot for another trip
with another haul that i have to ship.

on the road again do it all once more
heading down the highway like i did before
another destination to some other place
one more day of trucking that i have to face

rolling down the highway in 16 tons of steel
i can hear the rumble of each and every wheel
foot down on the throttle as fast as i can go
delivering my haul dont have time to slow.

listening to the songs on the radio
as i sing along to the  ones i know
another destination to some other place
one more day of trucking that i have to face

trucking down the highway my big old truck and me
my best friend my dog to keep me company
wheels are rolling round gripping on the road
heading down to denver with a heavy load.

snow is falling down i can hardly see
only all the tailights there in front of me
put my heater on to melt away the snow
ease back on the throttle take it nice and slow.

i am halfway there now the snow has gone
throttle to the floor as i carry on
reach my destination turn around once more.
drive back down the same road. i was on before

heading home again my best friend and me
home again once more to wife and family
ready for the next haul roll again once more
to another place i aint never been before

trucking down the highway my old truck and me
my old friend the dog to keep me company
to another place i aint never been before
another destination then home again once more

Once,
we drove my pick-up
into outer space.

I swear,
it's true,
we literally left the planet.

O sure,
we were high on alcohol,
had to crawl to the truck
for ignition.

But regardless,
think of how far we drove,
to Neptune & back,
twice before sunrise.

daddy was a trucking man took me everywhere
when he hit the road i was always there
we listened to the radio to a country song
listened to my daddy as he sang along

travelling every place every here and there
where ever daddy went he took me everywhere
driving all day long till the sun goes down
driving every highway each and every town

someday when im older i will be a trucker to
doing all the things that daddy used to do
thinking of the times when i was just a kid
and the trucking days that me and daddy did

travelling every place every here and there
just like daddy did travel everywhere
driving all day long till the sun goes down
driving every highway each and every town

Trucking on the country road
Welcomed citizens waving in behold
Trucking wheels making the hill climb
Checking my rear view mirrors at the same time
Country music playing on the radio
I am observing families having a good time on their patio
I am blowing my trucker’s horn
It’s the cars I want to warn
Driving at 65 miles per hour
I have a tight schedule, and must be on time in arrive
I have very important cargo and that’s no jive
I stopped at a diner for a little bite
As it is going to be a very long night
It will be my trucker’s headlights
But to my fellow truckers I must be polite
It will be driving through towns and pass cities downtown
A moving highway into destination bound
But smoky will be on my tail
So I can’t speed being the trail
As my truck heads into the sunrise, it’s the flashing lights that make my wheeler’s wise.

Accountants hover over the earth like helicopters,
Dropping bits of paper engraved with Hegel's name.
Badgers carry the papers on their fur
To their den, where the entire family dies in the night.

A chorus girl stands for hours behind her curtains
Looking out at the street.
In a window of a trucking service
There is a branch painted white.
A stuffed baby alligator grips that branch tightly
To keep away from the dry leaves on the floor.

The honeycomb at night has strange dreams:
Small black trains going round and round--
Old warships drowning in the raindrop.

The Jewish brothers in Defiance were definitely tough.
One wanted to **** many Germans, the other to save many Jews.
The German soldiers were expendable, unmarried, unremarkable.
Each little death was very little, a little spittle in a big wind.

Fast forward to my friend's son's bar mitzvah or daughter's
coming of age ceremony. Food is abundant, the music frenetic,
the rabbi paid. Gifts generous but not obvious.
Wealth does not obviate death and we know it.

Here too we have natural leaders. Youth basketball coaches,
school principals and, again, interpreters of prayers. When
violence comes to the neighborhood they are who we'll first look to
for governance and guns. Unless have you read The Admirable
      Crichton?

Boredom, boredom conflated with loneliness, may be a sign
of good luck. To live a good length or light year away from man's
bad breath, allergenic perfumes, sickening flatulence and shed hair.
But you are drawn back into the debate about perfection by your own
      *******.

While teaching at the old city jail I have learned this: only meditation
upon the periodic table can save your soul. From itself.
Imagining the world without the self will make you whole.
What else is there to say. Do less until one thing's done well.

After the war the brothers started a small trucking company
in the Bronx. Grateful for such peace, the accounting
was relaxing. They thought back to how they met their wives, naked
before the bombs and bullets. How they lost and found themselves in
      what happened.

He quietly appears so many years have passed smelling the amazing greener then life grass a potent filled with magic the invisible man he passed.
Splendor in the grass

Ehh Oh yuck someone
abandoned you
On the runway
He Grilled walked in
fashionable late
The head of his
mansion

You needed to
tolerate
Oh! Chuck
Full of gas
shattered_
her mind
with scars coming
toward her
like glass

The wake-up call
The lady of
all envy
Winning
an Emmy
Adelle
We could
of had it all
Another name
Amy
For the love,
Of a ghost
Like the
Candy Man
Invisible man
from
Ireland

Something got posted
seductively
Blindfolded hosted
Designed into his
Money hand
Powdered substance
poisoned her

Invisible man
Her eyes got
Smoked like
Poison Ivy
In the Army now
Please too much
Attention of green
Arabian in the Nile
Miles and miles
Navy to be seen
He was colored blind
Different eye
Brown in one and blue
Something hatched

Matchmaker  Ghost rider
Fiddler on the roof
We need a story writer
Like a horse
without a hoof
To neigh the right
stuff

I Sir "Infinitely" so
"Existentially"
Remarkably
Divinely
Ghostwriter
Her words were
blank
She is so genuine
Every other day
He was mine
The quiet man
Super shy
Another try
Valentine's day +*

Writing but not seeing
I love you until this day
Quiescently being forced
he entered emerged
I love you let's get
engaged
Beg your pardon
was not her
To be loved so sorry to be
changed
Like a stale piece

Her niece vintage
furniture more love
and peace
Quietly operation
tugged
Someone got flagged
That blind man
faced
And looked into
the  quiet man
On someone's 
body
The smells
like Moms
perfume her
exact tune
New Jersey Patch reader
"The Catcher in the Rye"
To weird the movie
Carrie
School can be strange
A bucket list of water
down your head
She walked

The Quiet man lips
No small talk
Ghost post bed
Not even one star
could be heard
The gas lamp
she tripped
Out of sight

She saw a face not to
be described

So inhibited like
endangered
species

The invisible man
loved her
But got his
vengeance on
anyone
that was too near her
People wanted so
much to
be her
Her force
indescribable

When someone was
clear to see
Extremely well visible
she didn't care to
know them

Her nose on the tip
baking with flour
Ghostly the hostess
of the most
But feeling his
energy the invisible
the man was
courting her so challenging

New flame "Procreating"

Hemming her long skirt
Her diary innocence
Being on her side
but scheming
Disguise home staging
From the ridiculous to the
subline

Her address
Send forget me knots
street
Only blind
people are the kind
you want to find

SOS  surrender or out
The other S Soulmate
Ghost
Hailed the Mary
The Quiet Man
John Wayne

The laundromat
Mack the knife
Invisible man
Inked his whole life
Waynes world
Born to be wild

The other man
Hit the metal
heavy music
fan
Drenched so humid
He was the Murad

Triangle mess
Shopping at London
Harrods
Let's hear it for
the girls or ((Gods))
The magical channeling
TV on the blink
Went right on his computer
All the quiet man linked

He finger waved by the world
Guinness drinking Heineken
beer
The ghost rider
Got grilled called upon
By Ron
College kid playing
Rugby
The good bad and
the Ugly
Clint Eastwood
stretched them out
like Gumby
Western gunshot slinger
He couldn't see the
Ghost rider
the
blank stares
Perky Rabbit Hares
All the negatives got
burned
Exorcist's heads twist
and shout eyes healed
about

Climbing the Jacks
of the shinning
Nowhere in the beauty of
Her heart gleaming

Took a blindfold call felt
somewhere but where?
But I couldn't see blinded
by stars
Over the rainbow, the skies
weren't blue
Being stalked by
someone you know

By the greater impossible
love
To be silent like she was
invisible
So naive at time feeble

Without an honorable
love of fee
Gone with the winding
shopping spree
Disworthy and sneaky
but for being
who or answers
Doctor Who?
Invisible man what
could he do

He was so flavorful
well balanced
strong nursed her well
and sturdy
Quiet man thinking in his
beloved study

She was no goodie
magical shoes
The Ghostwriter
left invisible
clues
More Quiet time
Lemonade time affair of a
Ghost man
Like Hannah and her sisters
Woody if he could
But he is a **** good writer
The Movies of NewYork
I am proud to say
I come from
Brooklyn NY

If lips could talk
pouty
Sensing something but why?
Hans Christian Anderson
Quiet man playing softly but
Killing me easily through the
Blind sighted window

The widows
War Veterans
True Hero My dad
World War 2
Wifes lies and fibs
Quiet leads to invisible
Heller Keller was so
fortunate
Like Fate, she was
the real
Mccoy, she could light
anyone's smile
with joy
The barbecue next season
So many years to reason
More gun control
Be more visible to others
Mothers and brothers
Have a heart of soul


Only the strong keep the
  fight
Just keep on trucking
Grill them show them
What you could write
Perhaps it's cool to be the
Ghostwriter
Not everyone likes
To see the clear picture
What is really taken

So what if people cannot read us
Somehow we are all blind that's
OK its a miracle how other people
Can make it the beautiful day


Of the next groundhog day
He was loving to be invisible
He wanted to keep it that way
So deep set her eyes
to die
Somehow talk could be cheap
And the shepherd of love loads

of sheep, silence is the best sleep

All in someones head so lovingly deep

Invisible but remarkable to be the person
you want to be or let's really look closer
it's not always rosier.

Dear *******,

          This is the hateful letter. This is the one in which I tell you how much of a ****-head you are and how I am so much better off without you, so thanks for leaving me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. This is where I tell you that you’re an idiot if you ever thought I depended on you for my self-worth, because I don’t need you for validation, and I never have. I was trucking along just fine before you came along, and will continue to do so without you, so you can go **** yourself.
          This is the part where I call you a dumb-*** for saying all those things you said. If you weren’t trying to hurt me, you must be an idiot to think that it was a good idea to say what you did. I’ll tell you that it ****** me off to realize that you obviously didn’t know me as well as I thought you did. It ****** me off that our communication was clearly not functioning like it should have been.
          And I’ll tell you how ******* livid it makes me that you just sat there and thought and thought and ******* thought about this while I was still writing ******* poems for you. I am angry at how oblivious I was, which I also blame on you. I blame you for being so introspective and quiet, for needing to think important issues through in your head, only with yourself, before you can voice them, and I am angry because you thought and thought and ******* thought and made a decision that was logical from the inside of your head and you were confused by my reaction because, surprise! Owen’s-head-logic is not the same as Katie-is-being-broken-up-with-logic. And that’s where your speech faltered, where I stopped saying the lines that you wrote for me in your script, and that’s when all of those stupid words came tumbling out of your stupid head and things continued to not go as planned and it all eventually cumulated in this: zero contact. I know it’s not what you wanted but you’re a dumb-***. If you were smarter about it, we may still have been talking, but you said all of the exact wrong things. So I am angry at you for hurting me with your idiotic words, but I am also angry at you for pushing me away. I may have liked to still be talking to you, but all of the **** that came out of your mouth just ruined whatever chance we could have had, so way to go. You are a ruiner - and so concludes the part where everything is always your fault.
          This is the part where I understand where you’re coming from, I would have broken up with me too if I were you, I know it’s hard for you to put your words together sometimes, I know your (brutal) honesty only comes from a place of love, I know you love me, I know you miss being my friend…and so on.
          That last section makes me sadder than I am willing to be at this point, so I think I’ll stick with anger for the time being and you can **** my nonexistent ****, *******.

Your Ex-Girlfriend.

Things are taken or walk away
I believe on day
Theyll find there way back
Sometimes things happen
before you're ready
If not maybe next time
Things happen when times are tough
Good enough but never enough
Love might be great career detoured
Or love failed money is great
Keep trucking don't lose hope
Everything you hoped for falls into place
Live on your own or live like will
And it shall go accordingly
Take time make time

trucking down the highway i turned  on my cb then a mellow voice said youll be safe with me
i dont know who it was id never heard that voice before so i said goodbye and carried on once more
further down the road i was driving in to snow then i  skidded of the road with
just two miles to go. everything was hazy  and i couldnt see then i heard  a voice again saying now your safe with me
now i was in heaven  now my life was free now i know what he meant by youll be safe with me.

thirty years of truckin down each and every road
bodies started aching with its overload
all the trucking years as took its toll on me
now im not as young as i you used to be

driving through the day driving through the night
driving miles and miles till the morning light
from denver down to tuscon gulf of mexico
bodies not the same as all those years ago

driving every highway in the wind and snow
delivering my haul every where i go
all the years of trucking took its toll  on me
different from the time i was young and free

driving day to day every here and there
with my aching body driving everywhere
sixteen tons of steel with a heavy load
delivering my haul down each and every road

bodies not the same as it used to be
thirty years of trucking took its toll on me
driving miles and miles each and every day
time for me to stop put my truck away

driving through the day driving through the night
driving miles and miles till the morning light
from denver down to tuscon gulf of mexico
bodies not the same as all those years ago

I find myself
Here again
Down and broken
Looking within
Where did I stray
From this path?
How do I clean
This Aftermath?
How do I keep
From THIS again?
Where am I going?
What's the plan?
I'm tired of failing,
I CRAVE success.
I give it my all
I try my best!
Yet circumstances
Beyond control
Effect the way
Life's dice roll.
So I pick up the pieces
Dust off the dirt
And I keep on trucking
No matter the hurt.

im a lonesome trucker with a bear for company
everywhere i go teddy comes with me
he sits on the dashboard where he likes to rest
its his favourite place that he likes the best

with his big brown eyes he begins to stare
looking straight at me with his teddy glare
driving everywhere morning noon and night
watching over me in the dashoard light

in my trucking bed he lays next to me
best friend in the world there could ever be
my furry little friend with a ******* nose
right there by my side as i begin to doze

sitting on the dash in the dashboard light
keeps me company morning noon and night
trucking everywhere my old truck and me
with my furry friend that keeps me company

with his big brown eyes and is teddy stare
watching over me with his teddy glare
best friend in the world there could ever be
teddy he is there watching over me

sitting on the dash in the dashboard light
keeps me company morning noon and night
trucking everywhere my old truck and me
with my furry friend that keeps me company

These bangs make me look up
Already make eye contact,
like a boss
Friend days "sup?"
I say "wuddup?"
I hear "go hard"
What does that mean?
Do your best
Through what I see,
It is keep on keeping calm
And keep on singing songs.
Whatever makes you happy
Corny as ****, whistle a tune
Not give a ****, or a ****
Or a promise
Viewed from your lips
If that's what it is, ****.

Let's go skate, I'll  meditate
Everyday, against a current
Staying strong and keeping along
In the present day
What do you all say?

Fall asleep on a still ocean
Wake up on a cloud
Still dreaming
Wake up on a star
Almost there
In the darkness

Open my eyes and I finally see planets, galaxy
around me

Whatever makes you happy
In your dreams and overcame fears.
Never stopping 'til the heart is content, transpired peacefulness through energy.

When sleeping, my hair is up above me
If this is when I am free in the end...
Hair cut? Thinking so, why not?
Allow it to go because it'll be too hot to touch the shoulders
Longing to be with the fresh palm trees,
Fresh springs and great eat.
Frizbees, mountains, deserts heat is where I need to be.
Squishy feeling
underneath my feet.
and again more trees
Keeping me on my way
Trucking' along
Singing more songs
in the summer's rain
Tap dancing and I'm gone.

What is truth?
That's an easy question
Actually, that's in a different demention, with words spinning around it, like a universe.
From chest, lips to ear, the hearer is not relating from the original scene.
You "had to be there" moment is what's very keen to truth.
The truth is inside of you.
That means that you and I or me and you, don't know what its like, inside each others life.
But here I am
And there is you
First site may be the end to some
But judge not because I am just one
"I am a Soul and Have a body"
A wise man Gar, once said.
I know we go on
there is no end.
Live life to the fullest
If not Yolo was dead...
Plenty of lives ahead
To the top of a pyramid
Of whatever we are
A cookie crum lost in space
The light of a burnt out star

Anything is possible
Dream among the starts
Is said because we are the sky

Our roots hold us down
Pressing soil away
Growing through the pain
Rocks as anchors
Til they are ripped away
The once hurtful thing
Getting in the way
Grasping on and taking hold
Foundation for home
Up-rooted and move
"It goes on" a poet once said
So I say, look ahead.
Life may be fast but it's not short
Choose a path to walk, grow, learn,love, glow.

I run this muddy track on these big old shaky wheels
With numbers on my back and a helmet on my head.
I drive around in circles and they call me "Crazy Ed".
I drive. That's how I stay alive.  I just like how it feels.

I've got a batch of children and a drop-dead gorgeous wife.
She puts up with me when I leave to tinker on that wreck.
And all week long I'm trucking, gone, to earn an honest check.
And still she cheers for me each Sunday while I risk my life.

Someday I'll hang that helmet on the hook there by the door,
And toss away this mud-caked suit with "92" on back.
I'll give that gorgeous wife of mine a kiss, and *****-whack,
Then play around (in circles!) with my Kids there on the floor.

Click click click goes the lighter

I stare at my beautiful back bone as she breaks a part

She takes her poison just the way I taught her

But is time with her new lighter

Click click click

Tears run down her soft face

Click



Her nervous tick gets slower

No please keep going

When she clicks the lighter at least her mind is on something else

Just for that split second

Look forward, only a little longer

Why can't I help you like you helped me

I want to hear you trucking on strong




Click click click

That's better

Trucking around music playing loud
Took me weak acting like they are proud
Cheated on by false promises misled love
Saying they live but don't want to be with the person
Sticking around how perverse this is going to get worse horrible ending
Not faking love or pretending wish this were real but don't have time for fake
I treated you well and loyal accused of wrong doing those are your uptight actions wrapped in wrong coming out
Send this out to those who I looked out for and they stabbed me in the back
That's my fault for being over trusting moving too close and turning my back
I'm not over reacting could of said worse
Be responsible stop blaming others for you being cursed

These kinds of stories are hard to find.
I posted up in a bar between
nowhere and a town named Ida
(probably named after some
sweetheart, that old southern name),
and in the characteristic openness
that I can only find during my travels,
I decided to say,
"hey stranger."

It was early in the evening,
he was a traveler too,
but of the trucking sort,
ashen eyes and
pale breathy skin,
we got talking amid
electric neon glow and
the pale blue light
that shown in through the rain.

His name didn't matter,
I won't tell you his name,
but the truckers know thumbers
(there are 5000 or so
across the country
at any given time),
and so he told me of a thumber.

This thumber was in the thunder,
clothes torn and eyes wide,
and with a mind that was,
at that point especially,
oblivious to the solidity
of the dry towel that was
set on the solid truck seat,
and, what a mess this boy was,
so by appearance, I presume,
it was easy to ask,
"what in the hell happened to you?"

It went like this:
the thumber turned those
wide open eyes
(I imagine he was shivering),
and told of how he was
walking, backpack and all,
and of how he smelled a storm
approaching, how when he
saw the treetops bending,
he expected the rain and
pulled a waterproof cover
over his pack just in time,
it started pouring.

This time the thumber,
he said he knew he had to
keep going,
he said he didn't like rolling
dice, no, he said it was a cheat
because if you knew enough
about throwing die the die
land the same, they land
the same enough.

So,
listen, have you ever
walked through heavy rain?
You get dizzy, but
in some deep part of your mind
in the spray, the insurmountable
lukewarmness stealing
a little with each blow,
you lose yourself,
and that's what I imagine
happened to this thumber.

At one point, the thumber
knew ground no more,
that's all he said. He said
he landed one county
over, that's all he said.

And by the jingling
of the die hanging
from the truck's rearview mirror,
one of the truckers laughed
and said *******
as the story of the thumber
came around,
what in all hell else could
you say?
And the thumber wiggled
his head and gave a queer
sneeze.

Against the neon glow
I peered at the trucker,
you can't tell an honest
man by his eyes but
you can tell it by his breath.
I shook my head and said,
"that's a kind of story that's
hard to find."

I was in the grocery store
just last week
saw your beautiful smile
reach out to me
I watched you pick something up
saw your srong and sturdy hands
remembering them holding me
at the trucking stand
I followed you closely
among the many isles
down memory lane
across the frozen miles
I noted the color of your hair
mmm, easy on my eyes
I wanted to go up and inhale you
but it would cause surprise
once next to the cereal
right by the coffee and tea
your turned your head
looked straight at me
oh your deep soulful eyes
lashes long and full
the shape of your chin
all put me in a lull
I lost all track of you
lost in a wish
came to suddenly
back to my list..
there you were at the checkout ,me behind
as you laughed with the lady
yes,  it was your laugh
your laugh all the way
when you merely spoke, however
it wasn't you at all
even when you turned to me
and said "How ya doin, doll"
This happens almost every day
no matter where I'm at
I'll see you every corner
in every baseball cap...
Even though you are nowhere
it does'nt make me sad
somewhere in my heart
I'm just a little glad
so I give a little smile
and actually are quite thankful
for I saw you twenty times today
was'nt that a handful?

Less violence
More silence

A tear rolls from my eye
As I silently wonder why
This aching pain
Of which you are to blame
Consumes me on this day
On this bittersweet bed on which I lay

No words can keep my sadness
From flowing from my fingers
Onto this platform on which I type
This poem,
this writing,
these chicken scratches
Will serve as nothing but ephemeral reminiscences
Of what joy you used to bring me.

We can't (couldn't) keep going
We have no one to blame but ourselves
It is time to keep on trucking
Move on
And hope for someone/something new

It is a brutal, grim, meat hook realization that we are not good for each other and it is very hard to accept.
I think, 10 years from now we may either look at this point in our lives as either nothing but a flight of fancy or something we had that we were not able to contain very well that was at times equally magical and horrid.
A deep Fear surrounded our relationship and there was not enough Support from either side to make it last.
Things fade.
Time has a way of showing how Stupid and Miserable everyone was.
You fell in love with a drunken *******.
I fell in love with a **** disguised as a fallen angel.
Looking back one year, we never would have thought this is how we would be spending the anniversary of our first kiss.
Our first moment.
We were crazy.
We still are.
I don't want resentment anymore.
I don't want your love.
I just want acknowledgement today.
I want you to find someone in your school that reminds you of me in one form or another and give him a hug, because you need it, I need it and judging who he reminds you of, he probably needs it to.
I will acknowledge you today in the only way I know how.
Inebriation whilst listening to Elliott Smith.
May I never do it again.
This is my send off.
Jackie
Be careful.
I still care about you.
I wish you nothing but the best.
If I didn't I wouldn't have written a poem and a brief essay today.
Have fun with life.
Now I can be happy.
This is a fitting end.
Resolution is mine.

No violence
Just silence

Darkness awaits these wary eyes as
The chorus of the day fills my body
Another town
Another place
Ready for the load
So be my precious

Oil filled jeans edge the way
To my rig of life
Rock to the ready
As music meets music
Mile after mile

Lonely in my solitude
See life pass
Everyday
Eyes meet eyes never a word said
But a nod feels the same

Call to the phone don't end the delays
Cuts from the cars that never give way
To shouts from a horn
Not looking
My day

Food all a plenty that fills fuller
Shirts
Sleeps for the bunk
Time wasted
Another life away
Long the day as loading still waits
Another 2 hours
Another delay

Trucking is life
A world on its own
A place for the madman
A place for the lone
Yet all this appeals to me and the few
This world is my playground
I'm here for the view

Over my neglected childhood
Hating thing about my failed relationship
The things that mean so much should be, not once was
I've developed a voice through writing it speaks
Makes things clear puts it in perspective
New views and perspective something new and fresh
Why settle for the same'ol stuff and expect less
Molds never applied or cared to fit in
Pushed out the fear of change and truth
Accept the unaccepted one day it will change
Use to things not going my way one day you feel my emotion experience change not in your favor
New new new keep on trucking it will be found
Happy now it's turning around coming back after being all around

The last 5 years feel like a numb, confusing blur.
Like I laid myself to sleep for a while.
Like I needed to be dead to the world.

Then one day I suddenly awoke to a longing in my chest.
A feeling I couldn't fight.
A quickening of my breath.

The outside world shone through the cracks and my legs guided me straight outside.
Fresh socks on the grass of spring's early morning dew.
As it soaked through to my feet, I felt alive again.

But who am I now?
And who the hell do I want to be?
What just happened?
And what am I doing here?

I keep blinking to wake up but I'm finally awake.
It feels like I've forgotten everything, I'm trying to remember who I am again.

I've been playing Eurotruck Simulator for 2 days straight.

Mindless driving through virtual country roads.
I've jack-knifed my truck and need to pay the service toll.
Have to deliver this big bag of seed to Hamburg but I'm stuck in the middle of the road.
The traffics piling up and everyone's honking their horns.
This is way too much pressure.

“Don't Worry Baby” By the Beach Boy's plays softly in the background.
But in fact I'm very much worried.
Whether in my online trucking game or the real world it just never seizes.

All I asked for is a day where I'm not incapacitated by my own thoughts.
They're useless, nonsensical pesters that make everything go wrong.

Stupid worry gremlins with bells on their ankles.
The harder you try to ignore them, the louder they love to play.
Until your mind is an orchestra of gremlins beating their feet into your brain.  
It's impossible to get anything done when they're dancing away.

What matters is I'm still trying my best.
I'm leaving the house again, changing my old routines.
I even went out past 7pm.
What a real rebel I'm becoming.

Breaking old boundaries takes time but false 'safety' doesn't serve me anymore.
I sat in the pub last week and finally felt 24.
Maybe I'm a little behind compared to everyone else.
But I managed to save my jack-knifed truck and ship the seed to Hamburg, everyone has their own strengths..
Jack of all trades.
Master of none.
But in Eurotruck Simulator I'm No1.

Your life
Fits in a large box
Packed full of
Happy memories

When you left
My heart was shattered
Into millions of
Little pieces
The pain of losing you
Cuts into my heart
Deeper than a knife

Now that you’re gone
There is a hole
Bigger than that box
Left in my heart

When you were here
I couldn’t remember a
Time without you
Spencer you,
Were my whole life
Since the age of 3

We grew up together
You and me
You were my best friend
I treated you like a human
Told you everything
I’d even like to think
You understood me
In your puppy like ways
Sometimes I’d even believed
You even talked back to me


You really were the
Only one that ever
Really knew me


I’d like to believe
Nothing has changed
Up there in heaven
You’re still
Listening to every word I say
Looking down on me
Making sure I’m okay
Even in a space so far away
I can still feel how much you love me
You’re still the one who
Keeps my sanity in check

Spencer you are the best thing that’s
Ever happened to me
I love you
I always will
You’ve been such a
Big part of my life
There through my childhood

I’m trucking on without you
Here on this earth
Just remember:
I haven’t forgotten you yet

Hauling Jack I am called
My truck rely gets stalled
I drive a powerful 18 wheeler and being a sturdy trucker
I travel from coast to coast
My story is not much to boost
I drive for “GOT YOUR STACK TRUCKING COMPANY”
I am on my CB radio talking to Trucker Flipping Sal
We actually grew up together and he is my pal
I am cruising at 75
But when I am living, it is about staying alive
I got my eyes for highway Smoky
At times he will give me a wave
Then there’s other times I get a warning in behave
My job is pretty cut and dry
Driving helps pass the time away
I have seen a lot while driving these highways
I have seen Greyhound buses signal on by
There were steep hills my truck had to try
Then there were trucks with blown out tires and sometimes their brakes could fail
Being a trucker has no fancy tail
This trucker only wants to share the trail
It’s just a job and how a trucker prevails
Hauling Jack is a man who hauls a pack
Once to the final destination, it’s a matter to unpack then reload
Hauling Jack in highway knows, and it was illustrated in being the show.

Romance on the road
Watch as the story unfolds
Truck Driver Mike has a wife at home
But he is constantly on the road, so there is always a possibility of roam
It was on Interstate 95 Truck stop called “Resting Easy”
Truck driving Mike met Susan, but known on the highway as Cruisin Sue
It was love at the rest pit
There are all kinds of words that would fit
Yet Mike and Susan became a couple that was it
At one point, they were driving traveling together
Mike and Susan were inacceptable like no other
They were even known on the road
The blinking truck headlights were always a signal of behold
Meanwhile, Mike’s wife often wondered if there was something going on with Mike
Mike’s wife name being Jennifer often felt uptight
Then later, there was suspicion with evidence being a clue
Jennifer was determined she had a divorce papers that need to pursue
When Mike came back from traveling on the road, he did confess
Yet Mike’s wife could care less
Jennifer decided she was ready to move on
She was going to let Mike continue trucking along
Jennifer felt a new beginning is where she belonged
Cruisin Sue and Mike finally got married
How long did the marriage last, I won’t tell
I will just let your heart swell
Keep on truckin with on the road again.

Throughout my eighth grade year
I have tried to flourish my writing
You were always there
Teaching me techniques and giving me criticism
Believing in me always

Your sarcasm always made me laugh
And you have a fun way of teaching
I was always engaged in your class
Even when trucking through Shakespeare
You kept me from falling into a pit of confusion

First core Language Arts
Was my favorite class
And I always hated when it was over
Staying for Spartan Time helped
And I was always excited for Genius Hour

You're someone who I will remember
And who I hope will keep a look-out
For my name in a bookstore
I will miss you,
Thanks for everything

Hide the scars
draw a heart
on your arm
take a picture
add a filter
kiss her scars
"stay strong, love"

Only discuss what your feeling,
never share the real meaning
maybe someone will like you if you have bigger problems
joking with yourself when they barely even hit the quantum
Must've wanted to see what was so attractive
Picked up a blade then blamed me after
words are painful
piercingly baneful
Dug a deeper hole so you can bury me, just haphazards,

So immune to what your saying
you lied to me
so focused on what you're really hating
wanted to get into a fight
so you poisoned me at night.
think you're so poetic?
stop it.

It's pretty hard to stay clean
Looking in the mirror is so much harder than it seems
hard to keep on trucking
when your so bloodsucking
your actions are the kind that pull the noose up the tree
I wish it had all been fake
you put your heart out on a plate
for everyone to sample
if only they knew how you're never organically explaining
serving things the people should be disdaining

You have no idea
romanticizing for whoever's listening
when they say your so **** talented, your face must be glistening
You don't understand me
and this life you've created for yourself
writing about a life you know nothing about
how many times do I need to say it to get it in your head
You'll never understand the feeling of waking up
and wishing
you were
dead.

Hide the scars
rip the heart
on my sleeve
take your picture
add that filter
hope you're happy
"stay strong, dear"

thirty years of truckin down each and every road
bodys getting old gone in to overload
all the years of driving  took its toll on me
i am not as young as i you used to be

driving through the day driving through the night
driving miles and miles till the morning light
from denver down to tuscon  gulf of mexico
bodies not the same as all those years ago

driving down the highway in the wind and snow
delivering my haul where it has to go
all the years of trucking took its toll  on me
bodies not the same as it used to be.

driving day to day every here and there
with my aching body driving everywhere
sixteen tons of steel with a heavy load
delivering my haul down each and every road

bodies not the same as it used to be
thirty years of trucking took its toll on me
driving miles and miles each and every day
time for me to stop put my truck away

driving through the day driving through the night
driving miles and miles till the morning light
from denver down to tuscon gulf of mexico
bodies not the same as all those years ago

I'm one of the owners of a trucking company that's called STD.
Nobody will hire us, even when we offered to work for free.
The STD stands for Simpson, Taylor and Drees.
But people think it stands for sexually transmitted disease.
My partners suggested that we rename our company to DTS or TDS.
But I'm Simpson and I founded the company, so I refused to say yes.
You don't see any of our trucks on the road because people are afraid of us.
They think we have Aids or ****** and it causes a lot of anger and disgust.
We don't have an STD, so please hire us, I'm so desperate that I'm willing to crawl.
If you don't hire us, I'll personally come to your house and kick you in the *****.

it took him two hours to
count the bills; would you
believe that?

hihihi

global network
brokers
state's attorneys
distributors
transnational trucking

not to mention the
containers

entrepreneurs like him
timeless my dear!

he descends from
a lineage of

cold-blooded
hawk-eyed
eager
men

quite brutish well but who
wouldn't fight for money?

you see?

moreover as far as
i'm concerned
we are talking about a well established
name here; engraved above monuments
nationwide

you mustn't worry
good people
clean reputations

don't look behind you
don't mind the reflection
don't try to feel the hole in
the back of your head

it's just your blood
it will be over

you have to die now