"shakey" poems
Panic attacks for me are shakey.
I start to think everyone's starring,
I wonder what they're thinking.
My resoloution is to get out.
Then the tears come pouring down.
As they do my body follows.
I sink to the ground and try to hide myself.
The sleeves of my jacket become soaked,
And then my heart feels like it'll explode.
Anxiety is a whole nother code.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 8:02 PM UTC
****** does that to you...
Phone rings,
It's 1 a.m.
Private number.
I know what that means.
"Hello" I say.
His voice is shakey,
He chokes out the words.
"Mom, I just got arrested,
I'm going to jail."
I took a deep breath,
Giving me time to think
Of the right words to say.
"Ok, I love you.
Don't forget to tell them
That your gonna be sick."
****** does that to you...
"Mom, I should of listened to you.
I'm sorry.
Next time I will."
How many next times,
Thinking to myself.
I can't count how many times he's been arrested,
And sent to juvie or jail.
We both knew this time it would be prison.
****** does that to you...
"That's what you said last time.
But you just keep running back to it.
I know your sorry.
No matter what,
I will always love you.
I am holding you right now baby boy."
He cries even harder.
"Mom I'm scared of getting sick.
I really want a cigarette."
21 years old but he sounds like a 3 year old,
With a high pitched whine.
****** does that to you...
Last time I saw him he looked 35
And probably only weighed 110.
Arms scarred with needle marks
Infected sores throughout his body.
Smelled of sweat and dumpsters
Where he had been digging for food.
I barely recognized him.
Where had my son gone?
He couldn't look me in the eye.
****** does that to you...
L. Mack
6/17/18
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 5:22 PM UTC
The doctrine lines,
The white brick walls,
Coffee creeps,
We still drink,
Our tastes have just changed,
Who took the last of the ******* sugar?
It's been empty for weeks,
But mainstays stay, mainly,
Another 24 hours,
Some look less,
Another victim of violence visitation,
Rattling sign, the wind makes it's appearance,
We made it,
Johnboy the ****** tells aboot,
His momentum,
Taking his mom oot to dinner,
He wore his tattoos on his face,
One cheek said sin, the other, ner,
Shakey Sam comes every meow and then,
Saying nothing has changed again,
Lights are flickering,
While Jesus Jane is on another rant,
You know, aboot Jesus and whatnot,
Atheist Jocoby just groans,
The coffee is a bit burnt,
So is my tongue,
New cats, alley cats,
Dogs and birds,
I couldn't tell you which one I am,
Emergency alarms a buzzing all around,
We just turn down the sound,
As it's another go round,
to speak,
I'm James and I'm an alcoholic,
Hi James,
Turn over turn on,
Hold hands with scumbags turned saints,
All because of the fire we got from a drink,
A smoke,
A burnt down life turned to building,
We hug once again,
And step ootside,
Open door policy,
And fire in the sky is there waiting,
Some run,
Some cry,
Shakey Sam wonders aloud,
Will his dealer deliver,
****** Johnboy calls his mom,
Jesus Jane prays,
And Atheist Jocoby drives away,
I put the sign back on the door,
And make a new ***
I want to hear that story,
Of how that newcomer once got shot,
By a disgruntled **** in San Francisco bay,
At least I don't need a drink today.
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 11:03 AM UTC
Breakups **** They **** when you're sobbing into your pillow at 1 in the morning because you realize your life isn't going to be the same. That you are never going to have that person wrap their arms around you or that you're going to smell their deodorant or that you can't send them a message telling them about your day. It ***** because you feel so alone and you keep letting out shakey breaths and telling yourself 'you're okay, you're going to be okay'
Oct 28, 2016
Oct 28, 2016 at 3:50 AM UTC
Powdered skin,
Brush strokes,
Go coat
those desperate pokes
The shakey nature
Of made up favors
So playful
And able
We are
To Make the devil
Weak in the knees
As he does me,
So what if you suffer
You are but a drop
In an endless sea
No one will notice
When you drop
And you bleed
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 1:38 AM UTC
I stand firm, ground beneath me
Foundation of solid feeling
Foot connected to the globe
Then she walks in
Earth falls
Stomach rises to my throat
No other thoughts
When will this torture end?
She walks out
Tremors shake me slowly
Missed opportunities
Missed chances
Missing her
She walks away
Earth resumes its spin
Shakey, but spinning
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 7, 2012 at 4:50 PM UTC
Tall
Mysterious
A man sat
On a throne like chair
As he waited
For everyones arrival.
This setting was new
To someone like me
So I slipped inside
And stayed in the shadows
Watching men and women
Endulge
In endless conversations
My eyes
Scanned the room
The host
Was no longer sitting
"My dear...why are you hiding?"
I turned sharply
To find him standing
Next to me
Leaning against the wall
" I was only observing...
I am sorry if I disturbed
Your gathering.."
I said with a shakey voice.
He smiled
As he came closer to me
Tilting my head up
I felt his eyes burn
All the way through me
His breath
Hot but steady
Brushed against my skin
As his lips were so close to mine.
"Shall we take a walk?"
He whispered
In a seductive tone
I bit my lower lip
Nodding he led me
Down a corridor.
I felt everything
The way I used to be
The urdge to control
Melted away in his presence
I felt my body ignite
In a heated fury
Untamed
Pure instinct
Yet protected
By this man.
Once behind the doors
He took control
Things happened
That I never thought possible
Waves of passion washed through me
Over and over
Between us both.
Laying in his arms
Held close
Breathing rapidly
Then steadily
I felt something
Brush my throat.
His touch feather like
Traced my skin
Sending chills
Down my spine
"I choose you..
You are mine...
Now I am
Your Forever Master"
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM UTC
Barry’s dead.
I saw you dying weeks ago;
An oyster shell turned empty can,
Scrumpled up and finished
By the past’s magnet attraction
In your shakey hands.
It’s just a habit now and you can hardly kick yourself.
Buckets of Grolsch:
My swash-buckling hero
Turned slosh-slurping zero once again
And shiny surfaces
Never suited you.
Scrub away at that black demon matter
With the sole white spirit
Your genius affords. A shattered socialist
Posy primrose ******
That’s the story of your life –
All
most
man.
Now beneath the cowslips
And the heifer’s hooves,
Your saintly-thorny words without a roof:
But who will speak for you?
And trawl the depths
As you once did in youth?
Prizing open oysters…
I hope that where you are
Your silence brings relief.
I hope that where you are
You smell the borage breeze.
I hope that where you are
There’s ox-cheek for tea
And your carbonated past
Is carbonating in mute peace.
Tonight the argent stars
Are dulled in disbelief
Tonight the slate that you’ve carved
Is the hardest you will teach.
Tonight the tumblestones
Are falling down in grief:
For Barry’s gone to rediscover Pearl
And the beauty of her peace.
Feb 22, 2011
Feb 22, 2011 at 4:40 AM UTC
I won't give you the world,
it's ugly and you're most beautiful.
If you take my hand,
you'll get my sweaty, shakey palm because I'm nervous around you.
I don't want to sweep you off your feet,
I'm physically weak but my love for you is strong.
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 4:47 AM UTC
My hands are shaking,
The smile is no longer faking,
Sweaty after a realization of my dark lungs,
No longer caving to drown the the butterfly chained to a ball and chain in my gut,
I put down the bottle and pick up my sneaks,
Perspiration leaks,
As I wheeze,
The butterfly is set free,
And I feel like for the first time i can taste the breeze,
Shakey knees,
And a new song to sing,
Grabbing the new beat,
So I take off my shoes,
Step inside the fresh door,
Starting again with a smirking core,
With my hands that won't stop shaking,
And a smile I'm no longer faking.
Aug 23, 2014
Aug 23, 2014 at 5:58 AM UTC
*No matter tree strong
Or branch withered and shakey
Leaves must fall alone*
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013 at 10:06 PM UTC
Please forgive me when I laugh at another thing you've forgotten.
I do not mean to imply your brain is rotten.
Please forgive me when I get annoyed by your confusion.
I know it's not your fault your mind has a shakey vision.
I wish I could help you when memory fades.
However there is no easy remedy made.
Please know how much I love you and your funny ways .
If only that was enough to prove you're not a lonly member.
I would remind you of all our happy days
But even for me it's hard to remember.
I hope I do not become like you.
I hate myself for saying it but it is true.
I love you.
And I hate that you forget.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 7:46 PM UTC
When it rains here,
there is no lightning, nor thunder to fear,
like a tear,
without the shakey voice,
you have the choice,
hide under a tree,
or let everyone one see,
you embrace the sadness,
you embrace the storm,
feeling the cold but accepting the warm,
shout at the clouds,
I'm not leaving!
as the sun shines,
and the tears are just lines,
you will smile knowing,
that when you feel the wind blowing,
and the rain makes you feel like a wet pup,
you can accept it.
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 7:58 PM UTC
I saw Alischa
Big pregnant belly
Goin on her second baby
I saw her filling up her cart
with pampers and noodles
she was a kid once with me
we kissed when no one was looking
Sneaking into her house
But now she has a baby
And she is bulging again
I still remember
Her lip gloss pink and soft
The way her skin looked
Through the window
Laughing on the street
our fist shakey-handed attempts at
Love
-My grandma used to say
You can take the girl out of the trailer park......
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012 at 8:50 AM UTC
Sweet rejection a simple pinch and slap in the face.
Drunken splendor and a ***** floor.
Some woman I dont care to know why do I always
find myself in this ****** up place.
Puff Puff Pass.
Wild Turkey loud music im such a happy sleeze
with not a hint of class.
Lean of over the bar my dear you fill my thought's and i your glass.
I walked when I was ten.
Runaway in New Orleans dont belive I could do that one again
Two packs a day and a shakey hand.
Midnight drives strippers in arm bar's
with floor's of sand.
Im not ment for long but sugar im here now.
Drinkin till I die fields of my past been burried
long ago under plow.
Dance in happiness die without regret.
My friends names tattoo my thoughts.
Richard ,Rach,Baths,Lily,Paula how can I ever forget.
******* up perfection is I.
A perfect losser who could care less.
How could you ever shed a tear when I die?
Rearview babydoll backseat queen.
Stay crazy in this cold place.
Skeeter do you still dream in your beauty so tormented
and obscene.
Where all perfect for are flaws.
Barstool will be forever empty.
Im tried but always eager to fall down for a
half naked body or a fellow lunatics cause.
Gonzo do ya know how they see ya outside thoose glasses
so dark.
The partys jester spirt of a eternal teen.
Empty cans hold court by the lake of lovers lane
where still they park.
Richard a bottle and friendship forever i'll share.
Insane is a buddy but never worry.
Cause even a falldown drunk does care.
So sad is the fading light bitter the moment.
But perfect isthe ****** up song though.
Kids dont let em break ya you stay crazy.
And I'll forever be Gonzo.
Oct 11, 2011
Oct 11, 2011 at 2:46 PM UTC
My playlist on Youtube writes itself into a poem
It elicits Love, Lust, Loss anger along with a few other emotions
Ratatat takes me on a tour of Rome
PHOX shows me how to dance in Slow Motion
John Denver joins me on the tour of Country Roads
Highlight Tribe encourages me to Free Tibet
Bioshock Infinite do I dream of with Schyman Elizabeth
Kavinsky with his beats, urging me to Outrun
Lose Sight now and again with Andrew Bayer and Ane Burn
Abandoned Pools take me down the memory lane in Clone High
Foo Fighters whisper in my ear that I too can Learn To Fly
COCAINEJESUS, Akira, beats and samples; I have PINEAPPLEKISSES
Cloud Nothing reminds me that I should Stay Useless
Discover A Little Opus as I take a ride on Little Comets
Sky Rabbit opine and observe the present In Our Times
Joey Badass shares with me his funky ideals of *World **********
Coheed and Cambria describe brotherhood in Key Entity Extraction
Geroge Ezra sings an ode to fathers in Listen to the Man
Perfect shows me the other side of the coin with Simple Plan
The Peppers tell a story of starting over covered in Snow
Shakey Graves says takes a chance and Roll the Bones
John Wayne Gacy Jr. the serial killer is immortalised by Sufjan Stevens
Imagine Dragons, the subconscious and fears come alive in Demons
Owl City tells a fantastic fable about insomnia in Fireflies
Ellie Goulding finds sweet slumber even in dark times in Lights
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 8:24 AM UTC
I take a minute to sip some beer,
Miller High Life and Winston's,
Shakey Graves is stomping out through the wires,
Telling the tale of a boy walking to his execution,
His head held high,
Misguided in his actions that evening,
in the waning days of summer.
The song ends, I take out a tin,
Open it up and throw in the last of the dip I had,
After that I'll be done with smokeless tobacco.
Elton John is now waxing poetically about the ideas of roses in Spanish Harlem,
His voice eloquent, nostalgic, and tear-jerkingly honest,
The loss of innocence in an idea,
Ripped asunder by the cruelty of the world at large,
If only there were one Good Samaritan,
If they were to stand up and say enough!
In the album he is but the Master of Ceremonies in the château.
Weaving great tales of happiness and woe.
And isn't that what life is,
Both the ultimate comedy and tragedy?
But what do I know?
I'm just an Average Joe.
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 1:33 AM UTC
*Continuation of Life is Just a Metaphor and The Lone Wolf*
The wolf howls,
A piercing sound
And yet there is a note,
A note of happiness;
The wolf is rejoicing
For he is no longer in despair.
After moons upon moons,
The lone wolf
Found a pack mate.
Another wolf
Just as lost and alone,
Another searching,
Searching for a pack,
For acceptance.
Finding another
To join the foreign pack,
Helped to ease the tension
Built up in the pack,
The pack the lone wolf
Intruded, forced himself into.
The unwilling acceptance,
From the pack,
Of the lone wolf,
Gradually becomes
A shakey understanding,
Developing into trust.
With the help of his new friend,
The not-so-lone-wolf
Is finally allowed
To be part of the pack.
Every day he thinks of his old pack.
Remembering those gone,
But rejoicing at his new family.
No longer alone,
The wolf howls
His angelic sound
Along with his pack
As a hunt begins.
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 12:45 PM UTC
I had another nightmare
About my life and you
I know your ok
But this one its hard to forget
I make my way down a dark hall
My hands brush the sides so I dont fall
The walls feel wet
Is it paint or is it blood
Im afraid to find out
I make my way to a room
Lit by only candle glow
They lead me to the center
Where I see a young girl
Dressed in white
She is crying because boys hurt her
She screamed for help but noone came
I look around and see a coffin
Flag drapped over it
My heart races
Thinking it is you
Laying there.
With shakey hands I open the lid
I fall backwards and scoot back across the floor
It is my body....
But how....
Why...
Who did this...
Three hooded figures step
From deep inside the darkness
Each having a word across the chest
Past...
Present...
Future...
I pull the little girl close to me
Shielding her if they tried
The figures smile and raise a hand
Something happens
As if I was hit several times
But I didnt fall
I didnt move
As suddenly as they appeared
They disappeared
The little girl
Lay in my arms
Her blood
Bright crimson
Flowing upon the cold stone floor
She looks up and touches my face
I mentally break
I kept saying
Im sorry....
Im sorry...
She looks away from me as a white golden glow encases her
Small figure
She is taken from my arms by
A guardian angel
As he stands to leave
I simply ask
Who is she...
He stops
Turning to me
He speaks
"You know who she is...
She is you... At age 10...
The age you lost part of her...
Your innocence..."
I stare at the angel
"Then where were you...
Who are you..."
He smiled
"I was protecting you....
Though you did not see me...
You sensed me....
And you fought back...
You know who I am...
I will be watching and waiting...
And when your time is up...
I will come for you..."
I woke up in a cold sweat.
But the angels words echo
In my heart
"You know who I am...
When your time is up...
I will come for you...."
Aug 14, 2012
Aug 14, 2012 at 12:33 AM UTC
Voice is shakey, fuse is short
I hide beneath my pillow fort
The voice gets deeper, louder if you may
Im safe for now, no time to play
the moments pass and the time is near
its almost over, its a calming fear
The voice is soft, a relaxing vibe
A calming voice, a loving bribe
I know the monster deep within
I can count about your every sin
Theres things you do I cant explain
The things you do, it gives me pain
i hide in terror i have no say
A fights been given, i have to pay
tempers are risen, control is gone
and soon as it starts it doesnt take long
the damage is done, the emotional bit
crimes been succeeded with a fatal hit
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013 at 3:01 AM UTC
by Arcassin Burnham
Phobia driven,
See how I'm living,
I don't have time for the props that life has given,
Guitars strum and the children scream and yell,
I don't know if god will **** me for my skin color,
I wouldn't be able to tell,
The whole purpose is,
Is there is no purpose,
Now I gotta find the meaning of doing some soul searching,
See where my origins came from,
To find out if its worth it,
Why am I so dumb?
Strong and bold as sin,
I commit it plenty of times,
I'm a freaking Warrior,
And I'm so ahead of my time.
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
you told me how you tried to **** off every part of yourself
and how easy it was.
how disappearing is inevitable
and the expansion of space and the universe
how small we are.
how you hate boys and yrself for being one
i tell u I'm not any better
and when I say to you that we're compatible you reply with a simple
"I know"
I don't want to believe that hell is real
but then you tell me how you see yrself
And maybe that's where yr head is right now.
all I know is that yr as nervous as I am
And I will hold yr shakey hands
until you can let go
without feeling like you're nothing
and the universe will keep expanding
and maybe then you won't feel as small.
Nov 6, 2016
Nov 6, 2016 at 8:45 PM UTC
Invisble choke hold on my throat
Churning stomach acids
Seeping up my esophagus
Unwelcomed irrational fear
Breaking down the door
The door to my panic reflex
Sweaty palms
Lungs feeling like hardened clay
Heart beating hard beneath
A shakey rib cage
Voices float around me
But the words are drowned out
Like sinking under water
Focus out of sight
Out of mind
I am against the ceiling now
Only to crashland
Back into existence
In a time laspe of mere minutes
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 4:09 PM UTC
**When I’m overwhelmed with tears at night..
Emotions are an ocean that consume me.**
Soft waters flow down my cheeks as I reminisce about us and our brief memories..
It was a year ago..
Remembering your soft blue eyes slowly closing on a plane.
Your shakey hands would lay so softly in your lap, slowly drifting away…
You finally had some time to rest.
I loved the mornings when you would turn over and hold me.
A still warmth.
In my indecisiveness you took control,
in my want for nothing you gave me your all.
Just by tugging your hand, your eyes would soften and your voice more calm.
You're raging storm silenced..
Darling I’m here now.
-
I knew you..
Well, just the part of you revealed to me, of course..
I remember when you would downturn your lip and look across when you were unsure..
Yet twist your hand up to say ‘come on lets go!'
I remember when I unhung the turquoise dress from your wardrobe..
I chose it because it matched your eyes..
If only you knew how beautiful your eyes looked under an Italian sunset..
I remember us climbing on top of the old town, watching the sun go down..
The glazing orange skyline blessing your angelic face.
All I could ever want was here.
With you.. there was no pain.
No sadness, no war and no violence..
With my resting head on your shoulder.
No words, just peace.
My memories are a clear water..
Climbing the church tower and cycling the city.
Reaching for my hand up the stairs to make sure I was safe.
I could never catch up to you.
In a room full of art, all I could see was you.
In a town full of blessings, YOU were mine.
While my body was broken, you were my healer.
How in a brief moment, you loved me and let me go.
Intoxicated nights,
but a blazing fire as soon as the front door shut..
The balcony doors opened..
The night sky saw our passion, only the stars knew our secrets..
How in a short space of time you became so impressionable on my soul, my inner being.
A feeling.. a place I didn’t know existed within me.. awoken.
I’ll never forget how happy you made me, and still make me when I replay those memories.
Yet memories are just memories..
I pray that I find a way to put to sleep..
The fire that burns within me.
**When I’m overwhelmed with tears at night..
Emotions are an ocean that consume me.
Memories.**
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 11:49 PM UTC
I forgot of your existence.
Until now - just now -
While waiting at the train station
I had looked at all there was to look at
And so raised those lifted eyes to the Heavens
Expecting empty skies
Instead I spied you nested between overhead wires.
You took my breath away and
I could've sworn you winked at me.
Suddenly
I became flooded in the half-light of old memories.
You were always there weren't you?
Thanks to a compression of time and space
Distance isn't an issue when you share the same place.
Even now, right now,
You are here.
As I ride this shakey train home.
It dawns on me that I am drawn to you rather spectacularly.
Pull the tides of emotions inside to swell
And threaten to overwhelm
Would you take my hand if you could?
Whisper sweet nothings,
Tell me everything is OK?
(Even though we both know the truth)
Stay silent if you will
But do not ask me to go
Even you must admit the lunacy of such a request.
No, I will stay.
It is my turn to orbit you now anyway.
I'll promise to do my best
So you may get some well deserved rest.
Oh - how could I have ever forgotten your existence?
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 4:52 PM UTC