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Jenna Vaitkunas Nov 2017
One morning I held a funeral for no one else to see;
Laying in my full sized coffin I mourned the loss of me.

When I left my body and I scrubbed away my sin;
Took one last look down at my shell- now tired, worn, and thin.

I'm lost now in an empty hall of a haunting memory;
An in between, my own little hell, of his smile following me.
this ones new- rhymes?
Jenna Vaitkunas Nov 2017
I know it's hard for you.
I know you try but you can't possibly understand what it's like to have the weight of someone else hold you down and pull consent from your lips like the lyrics of their favorite song.

I sat in the shower until my skin itched and burned a smoldering red and the water ran cold because all I wanted was to feel CLEAN again.
I packed up everything I loved and drove hundreds of miles to feel SAFE again.
I will not lie to you...... both of those things have yet to happen.

And I know it's hard for you.
Because you are strong and people believe what you say.
You have never had to defend your innocence and purity.
You never had to defend what you were wearing. Even to bed.

So I understand what you mean when you tell me it gets better.
But YOU don't actually know this.
You don't know what it's like to wake up every night from the same nightmare.
Sweating and crying because for some reason yo think he's still there.
The weight of his body holding you down and drawing consent from your lips like his favorite song.

I know it's hard for you.
But have you ever considered that it's harder for me?
I've been hiding these sensitive poems so here they are I guess
Jenna Vaitkunas Oct 2016
Loud, Happy
Walking, Talking, Laughing
Talking to your friends, Waiting for no one
Reading, Thinking, Smiling
Quiet, Content,
Jenna Vaitkunas Oct 2016
I crave
you in the most
innocent of ways, you
do not understand the way you make
me feel
it hurts that you're so far away
and you don't need me
and you're so busy living
and i'm left behind,
something to be dealt with
on a rainy, quiet day
i'm sorry
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