Losing something precious
Real or unreal
Alive, dead or neither
A loved one, an opportunity, someone’s trust, maybe the wedding ring you still wear even after a shattering divorce, no matter how furious you still are
The loss decorates your soul with flames the color or ink and charcoal
It burns away all that was linked to or too near to what you lost
Forgetting something precious
Hated or dearly loved
Broken or shining
A dalliance, an old friendship, or possibly even just an old worn sweater
from your first day of kindergarten
It doesn’t hurt as much as loss because you don’t realize it has happened
But there is this cracked and crumbling sense of longing
When you desperately search in your pile of thoughts for that memory
But it’s gone now
Like the panic that grips you when you drop something tiny and treasured
And it’s gone forever, lurking in the shadows
But it is so much worse to forget than to lose
It might not be an agony that is quite as blaring and ****** as loss
But it is a different kind of excruciating pain that never ever fades
Like a dull ache
Because even if you lose something
and the anguish rakes its blood-caked fingernails down your heart
Every. Single. Day.
One moment long ago, you never wanted to forget it
And now that you have,
It’s too late to recall it.
…
Never forget what you have lost even if it is gone
Because if you do, your heart will never lose the stinging stabbing
of what you forgot.

Here it is Creep :) Thanks so much for the collaboration invite, and accepting my earlier collab. invite! Such a thought provoking concept. Plus it was fun! I'd love to do it again anytime!
-Ember

The internet is a dangerous place
For the likes of me
Man addicts

My fingers quiver, like on a trigger of a gun
to search or not
anxiety tells me the pain will go away
if I know what you are up to
one more time
find out the latest
and then I'll be satisfied

As my grandfather would tell himself
one more drink and he would stop
and all would be well

All the yous, mind you
Because there have been many
Who I loved as much as
I like my mother
which isn't much
and explains the attraction

Mining my imagination
on a storytelling journey
I could so easily slip
as I become tired
or afraid of this task
or feel unworthy of it
one small click and
I could be gone

I don't need to know anymore about the yous
yes, plural, even though we don't have that in English
There is nothing more to know
Only to replace them with something real

I remember when I was a child.
My parents would tell me tales.
Of men dealing with demons.
In the crossroads right out of town.

And I remember quietly.
I had walked down that path too.
Not for money, talent, or fame.
I wanted to know what happiness was like.

And I never knew if I got my wish.
It always felt like things went south.
From within the abandoned crosswalks.
I could feel only sad eyes staring me down.

I felt the whispers and warnings.
Every foggy afternoon.
When I'd wish for the man to supposedly appear.
Just for a simple request.

"I only want to be happy and loved."
It seemed to echo into the neverending winter.
But I waited anyway.
I had barely any warmth to spare.

But nothing came and so I left.
And I felt the pity trail behind my back.
As I walked down the path.
That I decided to stroll down.

And my life continued to go down hill.
I am no longer so young.
I have become accustomed to this world.
To all its cruel games.

I have been broken and shattered
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....I have forgetten.
I am tired.

So I came back to the crossroads.
No more warmth left in my body.
I did not come with a wish this time.
Only seeking a question.

"Why did you not grant my wish?"
And I waited again by the trails.
For anybody to appear now.
Anybody who could give me answers.

"What did I do wrong?"
The trees looked at me with misery.
The clouds gave me it's soft tears.
The mist hugged me as tightly as it could.

And from within the forest.
I could hear it's voice at last.
"You did nothing wrong."
I am shattering by the seams.

"I gave you what you asked for."
Then why am I so unhappy.
"Because happiness never lasts."
Am I always going to feel hopeless?

"No."
Then what am I meant to do?
"Nothing."
I don't understand.

"Because happiness will never mean anything without the struggle."

But I am shattered now, practically dust.
"But a phoenix is also reborn from it's ashes."
I no longer carry anymore warmth.
"But a fire can always be rekindled."

Is that all my life will be worth for?
"Life is always a struggle, it is survival."
But it is not what I asked for.
"No one chooses to have it willingly."

Am I meant to live on?
"Certainly you are."
Why? Why am I meant to be here.
"Because you want to."

What If I don't want to be here anymore.
"You have meaning you always will."
I don't understand.
"Your struggle and success to survive is enough to show for it."

And I could see the soot on my feet gather.
That was when the howling stopped.
I stood there still with no answers.
As the sun began to rise.

But I had a gut feeling I would not return to the crossroads again.

-Rain

This is your candle to burn,
The wax you long to flux?
You will this wick to blaze?
Then light our match with your crux

I'm a wise owl in sheep in wolf's clothing
Interpreting every cautious move made running with the pack
And you're exactly what you appear to be
You're ghostly traits just as transparent from the back
I am the pretentious walking dead man
Far too good for my own rotting flesh
I guess thats just the way she goes
down
Like any devil in a blood red dress
Last call only tends to last a little while
Until another bitter day calls for a God forsaken night
I am the self-forgetten first born
Passing lessons down after making no first decisions right
I've been on top of the town
Still wet from arctic lengths of time trapped under ice
I keep a hold of others' darkest secrets
ruling this game of thrones and still playing it nice
I'm a king in beggars clothing
I have everything I need and no reason to boast
I don't find joy in you're possessions
salvation found in being no one is a reason to coast
You've lost the fire that kept your spirits up
and have become another mindless ******* bore
when we're old and reacquainted
I'd like to see you convince me that I haven't lived more

"When they unearth these passages
will I appear to be proud?
Not if you're listening close enough.
Not if you're sounding it out."

I have drempt:
Lucidly, she dyes the edges clay-colored  
Eyeing eye she aligns her body with the North Star
She shivers without notice
        Ocher eyes alive
she speaks in new forms of divination
And the weather is in her palm
Trick of light    trick of eye
Her sigh awakens 9 Ravens
     without thought
            She is
    Caught in the spider web
         Spun
Autumnal ghost
Beneath Harvest moon
    swoons at the bark of the dire wolf
Without care
making eye contact
Running fingers through the silver fur
  Paying close attention to scars
Letting him drink
From lips of pink
The milk of first-kiss
And leads him home  
To a palace of bone
Humming tunes that only dogs know
Her head is light on his chest
She listens to his heart beat
Beating Eagles wing
In time
In rhyme
A tune
Of runes
Smooth Aquarius
Flowing through the toes
Of purple mountains
Spilling waterfalls and
Filling frigid
Black pools rimmed
By moss caked stone

Leaves scarlet, and hay colored
Float aimlessly on the surface of her

Peaked
Ears Stung and bit of wind
She listens whole body tensed
bow string
face    Sun stained
ethereal
Enamored
swimming in the aphotic
Lake of his soul
He plays the dulcimer of shadow
Next to fire
& the light of her blossom
exposing
Waterfall
flow
Through snow mountains
Piqued
His attention
When she dances languid
To
Forgetten tunes that only the owl knows
****
she dances star soaked
Scarlet tulips pressed
Fill every page of her mind
Preserved eternal

Wake up with a jump and a start.
This isn't just prose,
this is an art.
To weave your stories, through and
through, with
broken pen and missing shoe.
With mixed conviction,
perfect diction,
convicts swoon at your traditions.

As long as you believe
the lines make sense, they'll breathe
your soul and lack pretense.
Self-defense from knives to words and songs to birds,
soaring
o'er the roar and o'er the dives,
through the skyscraper's windows, break a floor and seek to strive.

Words are not just words,
I've heard many a stern voice
attacking a sturdy herd of
wavering wordsmiths who have
forgetten that they have a choice.
Alliteration counts as craftful creation
and the tale of poets shows it: these
sentences are paintings of a nation.
Decorating time and space
and all its stations of making a
stand.

You're a poet,
perfectly pathological,
hurting through rose- colored
opticals and bleeding for something
beautifuly better, just getting lost calls
but keep searching for the right letters; don't let the sands of time make you hate your written desert.
It's worth your weary hands.

Helloo its me
I was wondering if all this time could pass so fast
To see your face and lisn to ur voice
They say time will pass fast
But i feel hours like years
Hello can you hear me?
Im in the house looking at your room
Remembering your laugh ur scream
I've forgetten how the my days felt before you leave

Theres such a long distance between us and a time difference

Hello from the other continent
I must have cried a thousand timess
Bcuz u left and i have no one but whn i try to forget abt u it never seem to work

Hello from another country
Your my sister my blood how can i forget abt u that fast?

Hello how's ur studies ??
It became so typical of me to talk to my self whn i feel alone
Do u ever miss me the way i do?
And its no secret that we r both far

Hello from ur bedroooom can u see me looking in ur clothes  i've always tried to be like u
Hello from the other country
Can u hear me crying? I miss u so much

Hello how r u?
I've been trying to be u for such a long time but now that i can its so difficult to be as strong as u
Im so bad with u
I never told u but i think i love you
I miss u since u walked out the door.
Dont leave me
I love you

Each drops, each one
Its like the worse teardrops
Mixed with the symphony
And remixes melodies

Create the own version of ochestra
Flying bows everywhere
Flickering hand every beat
Up side down back every seconds

I almost forgetten
the part I most lost
Its never been
and I never want to lose

My heart kindda
Raindrops
Once rain ;
Its hard to stop

Hey you!
It seems like you've forgetten
Yes, you have forgotten about me!

You've abandoned me for many years
You went away without a word
You left me at 5 years old

And I hated you...
Cursed you for all the pain that you caused
Blamed you in every adverse

I just hated you!
I've told myself that I will never forgive
Even in death I will keep the hate

But then... **** this heart!
Despite of everything
I still love you deep inside

Your memories were misery
You were never there in my agony
But still, I love you

Yes, I do... I really really do
You're still a part of me
And I'm a part of you

That's the irreversible truth...
We are forever binded in strings of blood

I could never cut loose!

The smile so bright
I felt illuminated
Has chewed me up
Forgetten to spit me out

Trapped, held in the grooves
Of your sharpened smile
Converted cracks and crevices
Into the maps of my mind

I am scraps
Shreds with missing pieces
Caught between crimson gums
Hope your next victim
Will taste me on your tongue

Title carried with no portion of duty
A house doesn't define loyalty
And neither does having money
Make you royal.
stained blood seeking for kinship
Association beholding his fears
Lifting him to levels of prince's
No matter what you eat or drink
Or change your name
In their favour you never become
Them rather a copy of them.
Certain things come set
Like a child born a prince
While others are acquired
By the use of books for knowledge
Impostors soon slide to the floor
Where they rose from
Their faces forgetten
And the backs stripped
By their tales.
Famous by tales, names and works
Outstanding to borrow a position
But when might is weighed
Peasantry is the tell of origin.
Behavior rocks the moments
And the surrounding bows
To you in respect
Honour goes to the brave
In hardwork
You can change your looks
Your speeches
But not the background.

There he is!
Again today
Playing the banjo
In every way
A skip to his feat
A song to his beat
People will follow him till the end of the street
His lips didn't move
But, boy, did his hands!
Even the busymen danced at their shops and their stands
But the boy was not seen at the end of the day
No one would dream to follow his way

They said he was gods gift to the people of maine
They said he was a boy who just wanted the fame
But he never spoke a word, didnt even look like he breathed
And everyday,  without a word, he took his leave

But there was a reason none followed the boy
You think that they would with all of their joy
But no one came back from the forest I fear
They all end up gone, they all disappear

They say they leave to heaven with the little musician
I say thats all a superstition
I say its his banjo that traps its prey
Luers them into an unclosed space
Where they are forgetten by their father and mother
Their friends, their family, their sister and brother

They say that those strings on the banjo he plays
Are strings from the heavens that lightens our day
But the strings are black metal cords
That cuts the fingers and makes blood pour
Banjo uses the boys blood to play another toon
The boy is enclosed and trapped like the few
That followed its toon and was taken away
By the banjo, the banjo's tune will luer its prey

Does it ever scare you to know..
That the sky, will never be painted as beautifully as it was today.
That the trees will never be greener, than they were today.
That the stars, will never be aligned again exactly as they are on this very night.
Does it ever scare you to know..
That your hair will never be parted or placed as it was today.
That your clothes will never smell as fresh as it was, today.
Or that your make up will never look exactly the same as it was today.
Does it ever scare you to know..
That this day, May 7th, 2015, will never happen again.
And the sun in the sky, will never shine brighter than it did today.
And that the memories made today, will never occur again.
Does it ever scare you to know..
That since the day we were born, the only thing we were destined in life is death.
That we live everyday, moving closer and closer to the end of our time.
That our time here on Earth, is measuerd in days, hours, minutes, seconds..
Does it ever scare you to know..
That the people, places, things, around you at this very moment..
Will cease to exist, to know it'll all be gone in an instant someday.
That the days gone by, are just memories now..
Does it ever scare you to know..
That in 10 years, things will be completely different.
And the moments we're making in our life right now, will soon be forgetten.
Lost in all the other moments we've made along the years.
Does it ever scare you to know..
Because it scares me..
It scares me to know that everything in front of me at this very moment,
Will all change in an instant someday.
That the people and places, I know right now, I will not know someday.
That this so called "life" I am living right now,
Will some day be replaced with death.. And my days here will end.
I think I fear the future, because I have no idea what's in store for me..
I fear it so much to a point, that it keeps me up at night..
Wondering..

I've been taking a circuitous route
Only camels and Arabs
Know what I'm talking about.
Round and round and round
My mind turns about.
Now never again in my life
Will I try to doubt
Who I am
and where I will be.
When the evil within tries to get out.

Its time to reroute./
I've gotta reroute. /
I've got to get up on my feet
And shout. /
I've wasted too much time asleep.
Only ****** at myself
Because during the time I've spent
Trying to dig deep into her/
I have totally forgetten
Where I was and who they were./
Those who held me back/
gave me plenty of hugs and daps/
but made my time on earth a blur./
I love my brothers so/
And I lift them up
When they're low/
But when it's time to go/
**** its times to go./
Open up my crusted eyes
And let the Suns holy glow/
Help me grow./
I just hope that when I rise
I begin to know

I've been taking a circuitous route
Only camels and Arabs
Know what I'm talking about.
Round and round and round
My mind turns about.
But never again in my life
Will I try to doubt
Who I am
and where I will be.

Camels and Arabs/
I often wish I could walk
The land that they have./
Yet, I walk the land
Of trends and fads/
Expensive homes and tags/
That make me see everything
I do not have./
Only to drag me further away
From my true path./
Desensitizing me of
What I'm not suppose to have/
And throwing me on that circuitous route./
Now that I've figured all this **** out./
I'm going to backtrack on my life
And add in everything I left out. /
Reconstructing my mind
To make it my vibrant home.
So when they ask and say
"Klash, what took so long?"
I would reply

I've been taking a circuitous route
Only camels and Arabs
Know what I'm talking about.

I am use to it being put last
Nobody cares ..nobody even ask ..i sit here everyday battling depression and suicide everyday trying not to lose to the battle ..being forgetton before u even die show u wat world we live in
Beign forgetten just shows ur suicidal thoughts where right this whole time . And the worst part bout being forgotten is when your own family forgets about you making u feel like **** its crazy nobody sees the signs at all so being forgotten shows me when i take my own life nobody will miss me nobody will care because i am already dead.
So when they lay me down to rest i dont want to see that u love me and u will never forget me because you already forgetten me when i am right here !!
~prettii eyz

My dream,all um dreaming  about, the one um dreaming about,the vission i have,the future i still picture..will all be gone  my future ,the person i wanna be, the career ,the goal i wanna archive will soon be gone away from me when i die um afraid of death.....               My enemy will laugh an rejoice while my love ones will cry an say "ferwell we will mit again"  who i am and what i am will soon be for nothing..the good that i have done and the bad that i have done will soon be for nothing...my experiance of both will soon die with me,,,,my family and friends will soon be fillfull with blood tears..soon i will be forgetten as the earth get ride of me an put me under its ground where my body will be eaten by worms while my spirit will remain to the lord,,an the lord will look at me an smile from his golden throne an will say to me ""my child this is eternity an i promize you that today life in earth is past but here it start anew,,,the lord will welcome me an keep me in his arms an give me his special care an say you are welcome to your new home an my heart will heal from the pain of the earth,,and oh if i will still have it,the pain of losing the one i love,,,but the day i will die it will be my great life exprience an no more pain ,my soul will be at peace while my body will be at pieces but i will look at you and say *why cry when a soul is set free an put to rest fortunatly you wont hear me  others will be singular without me but once they forgettern about me their lives will be simplicity..so i dont wanna die so young

If I were to leave
Take off running
No looking back
Vanish
No one would notice
Until the day they need me to do something for them
Is it too much to ask
For someone to care at least a little more than that?
A text every once in a while
"Hey how are you?"
Never heard of such a thing
I could drive to California
And no one would realize that I had gone till I'm already there
If even that
My leash is so long
That it really isn't even there
No strings attached
If I had money
Believe me
You'd never see me again
As brutal as this sounds
I really don't care
I do not have real friends
Nope. None
I don't have those people that wonder about me
Wonder what I'm doing or if I'm free
No one thinks about me
No one even gets the idea to strike up a conversation
Yes I've tried to keep in touch with people
But you need 2 to tango
And the phone works both ways
I'm just tired of not getting the feed back I desire
I'm seeking something
And it's not here
Not with these people
Not in this town
One day i'll be gone
Forgetten?
Yes please

to say what i couldnt say,

what i couldnt say then,
just give me a moment
forgive me this stuttering heart,
and labored breath,
my hands they tremble,
but may my words strike true,
i am so into you,

and may my eyes lock yours,
to say what i couldnt say

i open these eyes
wide honesty and heart filled sincerty
i regard as i couldnt back then.
but its a slow death and im still breathing,
and yeah im breathing,
im breathing you in ,
warm summers and roses left forgotten,

have you forgetten the words that you have etched cross the travel ways of this wayward heart, forgiving and giving,
a poetic poison
of love leading
love leading me back to where we began.
to say what i couldnt say then,
i love you,
always and forever.

In there is semi lurid warm and dark
Thoughts pounding and gushing out with forces of momentum
Calmness inject solitary rest
Restitution of mind rerun light test

Temptation as rats, and rodents accompanied my companion
Unsolicited ****** bats *******
Relationship despise my sixfoot death row

Guffaw haunted voice echoed roaring
Cut by the gate closed, banging sound deafening
Makes fear wrestle boldness

Moreover in here am dead and forgetten in outer world
I have seen millions of orion light passed
Relatives and friends despise me for I speak the voice of truth
Better he lay there ant rot

My skin turns gholish white like a ghost
I give up my body and dance with my soul
I am a blessed soul enlightened with amethyst truth
My unwashed clothes are feed with snow detergent

And my waxing bone strong with rays of dark terruric energy trap
My sun never settle it shines
Eclipse of moon provides transculent illumination as I see divine
Flying high into a realm of self enlightenment in my death row as truth tow me
into a free being

by
Martin Ijir

you liked to swim in waters that were too deep

where my feet couldn't touch the ground

i almost drowned trying to follow you

you liked standing on top of mountains

because you belonged on top of the world

my skin was raw from the sandstone

you live in adventure

and i live in your shadow

the day you leave i'll be stuck here forever

because it seems i've forgetten how to walk on my own

It's starting again
Like a cycle of depressing hopelessness
I'm going through it again
Different name and different face
But the script is still the same
I'm still the villain in this ******* play
And they treat me like a game
Eveytime it's the same
I always lose, so why do I even play?
I'm always forgetten so why do I always recognize your face?
I See you in everything and I know it's not okay
I try to forget you
But I can't bring myself to push you away
I have to bring myself to push you away
So maybe this time I can stay sane
And maybe we can both end up being okay
But I need you now
In this instant
Because it's starting again
I can't sleep
I can't eat
I can't think
I can't feel anything
The numbness is worse this time
It's like I'm color blind and the only time I can see the different shades of light
Is when I'm with you.
But I don't want to hurt you
Like I always do
I have to leave this time
Before I break you too
I have to leave you

I have secrets,
too many to explain.
I have secrets that I have to push back, far past my mind.
far past my mental is at existing,
locked in a black box with the word Truth spread over its surface.

Truth.

It holds the memories ive forgetten,
keeping me ignorant of my past that used to haunt me at times,
not just in dreams but in the day,
everything reminding me of who I really am.
its the part of me ive locked away so no one can see
because its the real, raw me.
its the person ive tried to forget for a long time,
the person that is crazy and untamed,
haunted by the past she once was.
It holds parts of my heart thats broken off and I cant put back together just yet,
holding them until I can find the right brand of super glue to put piece them back together,
holding them until I realize my heart is hurt and needs repairing but until then…
Im not whole just yet.

Sometimes… something sets off the person inside,
wearing down the box, making it wither and age before its time.
the box is cracks and leaks the secrets it holds slowly,
breaking me down with it,
making the pain I once felt,
making the scars I thought was healed …
Known.
The anger pours in, the sadness deepens and im right back where I was
those years ago,with the little heart I had left in the palm of my hand.
But I have to breathe through all of it and just… catch whats came of the box
and put it where it belongs until the time comes.

Truth spills only when I let go and lose myself,
lose the love and emotion.
I am the master of the box inside my mental and thats all to it.

Whats on My Mental Pt. 1 .

She hides in the belly of the flowers,
only seen when she greets,
then slipping again to oblivion

Here I wait,
waiting for one to walk by,
when she comes out,
I steal her away,
with her in my hands,
I'll never be alone,
without her beauty again

The flowers start to wither,
the forest starts to die,
the people start to to gather,
to get her beauty back

They find me in the meadow,
the only area still with life,
I'm running away,
with the prize in hand,
creating life to the forest around me,
dying after I pass

They follow closely,
chasing down the man,
who stole the beauty away

Cornered I wait,
getting down on my knees,
surrounded I am,
but I'm not giving up,
the beauty I found,
until they strike. . .me. . . down

The flowers,
they bloom again,
The forest is again filled with life,
The woman returned,
and the people content,
forgetten am I,
never to see her beauty again.

I feel I'm such a peasant
Who will just live then be forgetten
A pawn among the chessboard
A tiny speckle in the present
A cookie cutter bud of cotton

I was still young when my dad told me that my grandmother had Alzeihmer's Disease. I could not fathom how it was possible to forget everything - the people you dearly love, the most breathtaking place in the world where you seek refuge, everything you've learned, and memories you've made along the way.

I could not understand how she could not remember. I wondered how she was feeling. How does it feel like to forget? I wondered if it scared the hell out of her or if she felt a sense of relief in unremembering.

We came to see her. As expected, she did not know who I was - not even my father, his own son, her favorite one among eight. It was painful because after everything, she had forgetten me. I just stood there - unrecognized. I looked at her, agonized. That was the day I learned how heartbreaking it was - to look at the eyes of someone you love and realize that you're just a mere stranger to them.

My grandmother looked away. Her eyes caught my grandfather's eyes. She stared at him. It took her a long time, but she was able to utter his name. She smiled. That was also the day I learned that perhaps your mind can forget, but your heart cannot. Your heart can and will always remember.

He is a fire, was once a spark
Approached by no one, feared by
everyone
They never go near, for he burns marks
Scars that will never be gone

He lighted the dark with his flames
Left alone, and he went rampage
People pointed fingers, he got the blame
Blindly, he was forgetten and left to age

But if we feel his pain, his burning ember
We could see pass the ashes of his fire
Give empathy for him to remember
That he's the flame made to inspire

i'm not scared of men with dark skin
creeping alleyways at night when they're vacant
i lose no sleep over masked liquor store strangers
or women we call ****** limping
lifelessly with red knees
feeling low and ever so shameful

you would feel the same way
your world would be rearranged

but you've never felt a ghost's haunts years later
yesterday is today, it still creeps your alleyways when you're vacant
and you've forgetten what sleep is yet somehow remember you need it
and it's the reason you and liquor stores never were strangers
they make it easy when you ***** around if only to convince yourself  
that women really just never were your thing

and that at least today you're limping
lifelessly with red knees feeling
low but never as shameful

- end

This doesn't matter if you read the book or not

Winston and Julia got an infinite moment when they held hands.
This forgetten romantic gesture caused a lapse in time.
They got forever holding hands.
By being two pieces of a puzzle and connecting, they got infinity.
Just a small romantic gesture but they did it.
They got an infinite moment.

Even if it only glitters in the sky approaching the city,
as your vision blurs and smog suffocates your lungs.
We all return to gaze into the faded stained crossing,
to remember when two fading breaths drifted apart,
eyes glistening in the hourglass of two twisted hearts.

I pretend these eyes see brief clarity beneath,
this path of split ends of unkempt dreads.
Not much to send but I'm tempted to lend,
a broken sentence with no pretense.

Kept fighting rewriting reread recollections,
staring at dead stars lighting my reflection.
Seeing what is and what could be there.
What is and what could be tangibly unaware.
Like what was and what wasn't we are both here and there.
Forgetten remains conciously aware.

So now I sit smoking a ciggarette,
Fighting to write something of sense.
Staring into pixels of kaleidescope pills.
A constant reminder of concocting thrills.
Beginning to burn out and all I wrote:
What fades away turned to smoke.