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JDL Nov 2018
Attention all ye
Deficits of Disorder
Look it’s a squirrel!
I like many others struggle everyday with ADHD. It’s not easy but it’s what makes me, me and it’s part of what makes me special. :)
Tara J Williams Apr 2016
I've been telling my therapist about you.
I've been trying to sleep, yet all that fills my head is you and her.
You talking to her. A filthy wreck. I feel sorry for her.
Me working into the early hours of the morning, watching a sunrise on the long drive back, me wanting to get home to you.
You getting involved with her while I'm gone. You inviting her to the bar. Let me make you a drink.
You could be wiping her lipstick away before I return, erasing her taste from your lips. I bet it's disgusting.
I thought you hated dreadlocks.
I've been going over and over in my head if this is what I'm worth. I know I'm not a looker.. My hair is messy, my clothes are ripped, I'm all marked up from the past.
I thought my personality shone through that though.
Sometimes though, I guess that's not enough.
What hole do you need to fill? Please tell me.
Please, oh please tell me why you knocked me down. Why am I not enough.
I've been crying a little each day, then pulling it back together.
I've been trying to still be that stone wall I always am throughout this horrible pain.
I smell like cigarettes, you smell like lies.
I've been telling my therapist about you.
Solaces Nov 2018
I am forgetting about you..
Your smile has gone away..
No longer written on your face for me to see everyday..
Its getting easier for me day to day..

I am forgetting about you..
Saved memories emerge from time to time..
They are full of colors of you and are easy to find..
But are fading away to darkness as if I were blind..

I am forgetting about you..
No more haunting smiles in dreams..
No more deep brown angelic eyes that made my soul scream..
Because I couldn't have you in my arms under the sunbeams..

I am forgetting about you..
That part of me is dying..
That part of me walked under the moonlight and was crying..
But there you were in the clear night sky simply shining..

I wonder if I will forget about you..
I think that part of me will not die..
I think that part of me will stay alive..
Nothing left for me but endless goodbyes..
Eve Apr 2018
Why is letting go of you
the hardest thing I'll ever do
when you said goodbye to me
so easily
I can’t forget it
though I’ve tried
I can’t erase it
from my mind
I just replay your love
I think of it all of the time
because I don’t want to live
in a world without you
so now I’m stuck
in an everlasting blue
constantly wishing for your return
but you have moved on
we've had our turn
our beautiful fire
has already burned
Maybe its foolish
to hope for a spark again
but I will never let go
I will never give in
my darling I loved you then
I love you still
I love you now
and I know I always will
I feel so pathetic for still caring so much about you when I know you never will but I don't want to imagine a life without you in it. You have moved on and started a new life but I am still stuck in the same place, in the same town, and I'm still letting my love for you control my happiness.
Matterhorn Nov 2018
An empty room,
Full of ancient boxes
And *******
And other discarded things,
Accumulated over
Years and years;
But still, emptiness.

I return to this
Room more often than not
When I am
Trying to remember them,
Remember the things I
Left behind;
But they are gone.
© Ethan M. Pfahning 2018
Laura Jane Mar 2015
The body remembers, though it has been
four years since the summer you shattered your
knee but still limped out across the continent
to Boston to see him you idiot and
this is the fourth summer you've placed between
yourself and the last pin and the last *****
your body remembers, though in the
torturous lengthening of fused and toughened tissues
the bad leg is finally catching up,
and the scar with its ten numb inches of
puckered track has come to fade bone white
against your skin
but it’s still stored somewhere
in your sockets or cells and when you fall off your bike you still cry
Though you’re not really hurt your body remembers
So that when you’re confronted with their engagement photo
(you didn’t even know he was seeing anyone)
the darkened garden at the Plymouth Plantation
begins to bloom up around you before you can stop it
like a seizure or a vision, and you’re there again
trespassing after him through shadowy pines
and night-damp atlantic air
to where the white chairs encircle the altar.
ATL Aug 2
my memories are con men
spinning fibers into thread
for forging famous tapestries
sewn sweetly in sugars of lead-

smelting dead language
into covers for their feet,
they run through broken glass
just to hear a phrase repeat.
دema Feb 21
It takes a year,
for the pain to leave my veins,
for the memories of you to fade,
for the cuts in my soul to heal,
for the rhythm of my heart to change when I’m around you,
to forget your touch on my mind,
to forgive the universe for meeting you,
to live life like you and me had never happened.
Umi May 2018
It happened in the dark of the night,
Scrolling through a story line my attention was caught by a picture,
She carried a wondrous smile, bright and very warm and inviting,
In response I began to smile as well, beaming in the somber night,
Though my smile was not a mirror, it was distorted, yet brighter,
I soon understood that my body wanted me to carry on, shine on,
Not stopping despite having no reason to grin I began to chuckle,
The moonlit night had turned crimson, yet it was more luminous,
Was it because of my means, my very purpose of being a bound,
Bound to time and fate that I couldn't recall to stop smirking ?
Or was it the blooming of a flower in this phantomed moonlight ?
I must've stopped asking questions, of transient content,
Because, they would ruin the beauty of this contagious expression,
Ending up losing the track of time or any means whatsoever,
I fell asleep by the melody of the wind, as itecho's through the valley,
Even if tomorrow were never to arrive, I wouldn't care less,
For now, just let me rest my eyes.

~ Umi
Elli Dec 2018
Step 1. Delete everything. Delete her photos of her laughing, the picture of both of your shoes during a summer day you took after going to the book fair with her, the conversation you screenshotted of her saying "we are soulmates". It's too painful for you to bear now, you don't need a physical reminder of the void she left.

Step 2. Stay on routine. Wake up, get dressed, go to school, go to work, study, sleep. Be tired. Let your body ache as you lie down the cold mattress where the winter winds outside your window lulls you to sleep. Overthinking is your enemy.

Step 3. Write a letter for her. Tell her everything you wanted to say. How your heart broke a million pieces when she sent you her last text. How you thought she was going to be with you forever. Talk about the would've-been future you were going to have, the two cats you were supposed to raise, and the places you were supposed to see together. But don't ever send it.

Step 4.  Don't go back to the day when it ended. December 6, 2018 at approximately 9:38 p.m. You were standing in the rain, she tells you "I don't feel good." and walks away, leaving you to stand there alone. It's the day where you finally see the cracks, but realized it's too late to fix a week later when she finally messages you.

Step 5. Stumble upon a TED Talk about getting over a heartbreak, you cry for 12 minutes straight watching it. You do what the speaker tells you because you feel lost. He said to write down a list of why this person is unfit for you, and you finally realized that love has made you look at her through cloudy filtered lens.

Step 6. Don't open her friend's snapchat stories and see her there, smiling, and having fun. Don't wonder if her heart is as broken as yours.

Step 7. Fail. Miserably. But get up anyway, because only time can tell.

Step 8. Get out of your comfort zone. Reach out to people, start conversations. Go to the places you planned to see with her, and see those places by yourself or maybe with other people.

Step 9. Find new hobbies, and go out on your own. Make new memories with other people and enjoy your own company.

Step 10. Know that 7 years is a long time to spend with someone, so it will take some time. But one day you will wake up and you won't even notice the void she has left.
Honestly, this could apply to platonic and romantic relationships. Idk how to feel about this piece, I don't really like it. But here goes nothing.
Andra Aug 2018
i believe we all have in our lives
a crazy love
consumed
too late or too early
too fast or too slow.
we all have that love that will always stay there
no matter what
whose remnants won't be able to be erased
no matter what.

it is like a scar from childhood which will remind you of that fall...

there will be other men
each of them will hold my hand
they will muss my hair
each in their own way
and they will all laugh at they way i sleep.
each in a different way.
i will
probably
live with each of them
a late 20 of July
or
i will
maybe
meet them
every time
in an empty intersection
at midnight.
and will
possibly
wear the same clothes
the same flowery top
the same shoes
or
we will run foolishly under the same umbrella.

i will have a particular ritual
with each of them

we might drink tea instead of coffee,
or we won't drink anything,
or on the contrary,
we might drink too much.
or we will smoke like Turks.
maybe we will quit smoking.
we might ride our bikes every day
or go out rollerskating
or maybe i will get my driver's licence
i will drive one of those old Beetles.
we will listen to the same riotous band
we will sway on the same songs
and maybe then
he will hold me in his arms
the same way.

and so what?

everything will be the same
but in a totally different way.
with someone else.
always someone else and not him.

it is that love that made you fly
and then slammed you to the ground
for a few times
without thinking about anything
and then
it repeated the process for a few times
and then
it left you like this
hovering between sky and earth.
adrift.
it is that love which is
agony
and ******
in the same time

and...

it is that love that has left a scar in your soul
and whatever you would do
you can't forget it.
and you hope that
this time, maybe.
but it's not working.

it's that love...
Umi May 2018
Hey do you see me, I am on the side of the road,
I am forgotten yet I was part of this street long ago, now I am but a little figment of imagination, yet I am not none existent at all.
Do you want to talk to me or are you losing your mind ?
Take me with you, I will be your backup, your solid motivation,
Fragments of feelings are a fading memory which you seem to fail to remember, then wouldn't it make sense to keep them not as dearly,
Maybe if you were alike me, stop thinking and start being free,
A clear white mind with nothing to fear, empty with nothing to hear,
They are gone they can't fade away, a hollow heart has nothing to say
You are like me now isn't that nice, you have broken free from all lies,
Now like a little rock, light enough to be carried by the wind, you wander aimlessly through this world, isolated from humanity,
It is like they don't even understand that you are there, it is likely they don't care of your fate, nor do they seem to worry of what happened.
But don't worry either, talk to me, your little figment of imagination,
Because now you are like me and know what I feel like..
You are but a little rock on the side of the road.

~ Umi
Blissful Nobody Oct 2017
Consistently inconsistent,
Sometimes still and at times turbulent.
In ruins, is this cosmic connection,
All this drama- a mere fiction.
All that is, is and is my making,
A higher truth , I thought I was seeking.

An epiphany, and I transcended,
Into a realization, that it ended.
Long-long ago, its time eclipsed,
Dreaming away, real time, I’d missed.

Like the highs and lows of an ocean,
You’ve always been, an unrest emotion.
Determined, is the way to be,
This Drama - no-more, can I see.

Through the tyranny of my mind,
I have been trying to escape,blind.
I see you now, for what you’ve been,
An absent figure - washed clean .

So fade away, my love,
Fade away, into an abyss.
Fragments that are left of you,
Take them all , old and new.
I’m trying to move forward
My life’s plan
My life span
My love
My joy
I gave it all
I have none
I’m waiting
Waiting for you
Whenever you wish to speak
I’ll make sure to take a peak
I’m sorry I was so weak
(I understand you’ve moved on, I have not.)
Ashwin Kumar Mar 11
Is it wrong to forget?
The mind is an ocean
Filled to the brim with thoughts
Rising like a crescendo
Before plummeting sharply
Like a tsunami
Then there are the feelings
Lurking around every nook and corner
Ready to catch you unawares
And take a juicy bite of your leg
As sharks do
As you go deeper and deeper
Total chaos reigns
In the form of perceptions and judgements
Those ****** icebergs
Which can sink even the unsinkable ships

Is it wrong to forget?
The mind is an ocean
Deeper than the Pacific
More stormy than the Atlantic
Even as you swim with the tide
Alternating between hope and despair
With every high and low
You barely manage to stay afloat
Eventually being ******
Into a whirlpool of depression
As you go round and round
You sink lower and lower
Until you forget where you are
You forget who you are
And you wonder
How you came into existence
So, tell me
Is it really wrong to forget?
Why it is not wrong to forget
MeanAileen Jul 2018
It must be so nice
to be as cold as ice
and live with a heart of stone.
No need to think twice
in a fools paradise
when your head is so overblown.

Existing so high
you can touch the sky
from your pillar of ivory and gold.
Everyday you lie
just to pacify
an ego which can't be controlled.

You don't play fair
nor do you care
who's heart you might break next.
Another sordid affair
caught in your snare,
treating women like they are objects.

You made love a joke
with vows you broke,
that golden ring is sure to rust.
One day you'll choke
on fallacies you spoke,
and your empire to fall to dust.

Looking down on all
like you're 12 feet tall
does not make you a bigger man.
Laughing as they fall,
watching them crawl,
forgetting where your own life began.

Just keep living in excess,
desperate to impress,
and surround yourself with cool ****.
Cause what you possess
when dead from stress
in purgatory, won't matter one bit.
Ya...
L Oct 2018
Though
That wasn't even my intent. It just happened that way.
Originally I had planned on just picking one for myself.
(As i often do.)
I just so happened to change my mind. when I had realized where I was. what I was doing. that she stopped and walked up besides me.

And maybe thats what got her.
Could it have all been just a fluke
annh May 12
She sheds her memories like the filaments of a dandelion clock. Fragile and irreplaceable, they slip and tumble beyond her grasp; displaced in one breath, one word, one conversation.

Searching for what might have been in the diary of her imagination, she finds only scattered pages and missed entries. She hopes that tomorrow will be a better day. But tomorrow was yesterday.

‘Thin, I think, that fabric between realities. Maybe minds aren’t lost. Maybe they just slip through and find a different place to wander.’
- C.J. Tudor, The Chalk Man
s Nov 2018
Egg
you sit on my back
like a chicken on an egg
with a mocking flap,
shuffle and a wiggle
tucked and stacked -
chuckle and a giggle.
both - joke and cuddle
- die as they're written though;
but could I risk to memory -
forgetting that tableau ?
--

as I sit to study
our curiosities -
creating patterns & poems
of contradicting absurdities;
listening to the jugalbandi
of predictability & tease,
instigating the battle
between curiosity & belief,
how we manoeuver differences
with a pursued kind of ease -
love sits quiet,
amused but revealed,
its appetite appeased -
with a wholesome kind of meal.
Persephone Jul 6
Her wings fell away
And she descended into the willow
Screaming for her laughter
And wishing for her hope
She warped into a free fall
Crashing into heartless branches
Grasping for a helpful hand
Engulfed in wordless fear
Forgetting to believe in herself
Forgetting is ever so much better than any
Sword or mournful requiem for slaying
Evil,  And there is much I would forget
But the sweet is so oft one right beside
Or fore and aft the  bitter of it's not easy
To do; as one calls to mind the other- So
Is quite perplexing and unpleasant long to
Contemplate upon -yielding little if any
Fruit.  Then I do not know how  I just do
Stop thinking about it, for a while anyway
Francie Lynch Aug 28
I believe love has an evil twin,
But I could be losing my mind.
There are petals on thistles,
And thorns on roses;
I can turn 360 or 180
And ride off in any direction.
Tales run like a loop in my brain,
Not recalling who's heard what,
I preface:
I've probably told you this before, but...
Is how any old story begins.
Deja Vu is my new life.
Every thought was once a poem
To be polished and revealed.
Today, they are intermittent.

I've been trolling old television series;
The Monkees were terrible then,
Terrible still;
The Three Stooges were best left in the memory vault;
Bonanza still has Ben wearing his beige vest;
Elizabeth Montgomery is still bewitching;
Jeannie is irritatingly attractive.
I must be leaking grey cells;
Rationality is creaking in my bone-head.
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