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A Sep 2014
freshman year
Happy, scared, young, full, and ready for whatever it is thats about to hit you.
You loose your bestfriend, and your virginity.
You gain a new clique, and a body count.

sophomore year
your freshman expertise kick in and you think youve got the feel for the highschool life.
You fail chemistry, and go to your first party.
you are now a ****
You think youre cooler than your ex
bestfriend because you have ten bucks saying that shes never had a boy see her underwear or that shes never been as drunk at you.

junior year
You spent your summer in therapy, in
and out of mental hospitals because your eating disorder became deadly, and all of the friends you partied with cut you off because your newest bestfriend convinced you to sleep with one of their exs.
You come back to school as dead as
you have ever been and you spend every lunch period in the art room painting your sorrows away and you spend every night at home doing the same only this time your wrist becomes the canvas.

seinor year**
Your down to one medication a day now and you have commited social suicide all summer by staying in to gaurd yourself from turning to drugs and alcohol again to hide the pain. Graduation is arround the corner and you realize you could finally be happy once this is all over.
Happy to be out of that hell hole, but inspired by scho starting again.
Arcassin B Aug 2014
By Arcassin Burnham




remembering the times i punched the clock
talking about,
the times,
id love her till the record stopped,
but that i could do without,
{she left me numb for two hours,
leaving my insides turning to sour,
while she was singing in the shower,
thinking when gwen die at the clock tower}
but thats life,
and when you touch me,
i forget that all we need is one night,
neck kisses,
to the bone,
making you feel so right,
bad birdy,
took fight along ago,
along with hearing my exs lies,
{lusting the devils wish,
like throwing a petri dish,
the talking we can just skip,}
like pressing the A button on the controller,
touching your stomach,
and telling you to roll over,
then when its all over,
im glad to say i told ya.
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2014/08/nasty-full-and-mastered-version.html
Evan Robbins Aug 2015
A question I have to ask
Have I always smiled like this?
I have never felt so comfortable
Just happy to exist
Now you tell me there's a reason
A reason for your frown
Well darling I'd pick up everything
And just get the **** out of this town
Let's just run away
Start brand new
**** all these *******
Baby it's just me and you

But you don't even know me
At least not yet
Smiling with you
Was the least of my regrets
You claim to see my face
But I couldn't place the bet


I've seen so many folks coming in out of my life
But the second I met you was the second I started to fight
For better things
For happier days
For smiling for myself
For being awake
Magdalynn OLeary Mar 2012
Namaste
The divine in me
recognizes the
divine
in you

the part of me
that ashes her
handrolled cigarette
all down her top
on accident

who wears someone
else's black rimmed
plastic glasses

they're the wrong perscription
but there's no reason
the world shoudn't
appear a little blurry

hearts are farther away
than they may seem

behind the thin
layer of skin
and tissue

the fragile
birdcage frames
that protect them

If I were a zombie
I'd eat hearts instead
of brains

that way I'd know
what it was to taste love

I've had enough of people's
thoughts and opinions

I wanna taste the ache
for a change

and ingest the chambers
that held all your exs
and family
your friends

the divine in me
eats the divine in you
Evan Robbins Aug 2015
A question I have to ask
Have I always smiled like this?
I have never felt so comfortable
Just happy to exist
Now you tell me there's a reason
A reason for your frown
Well darling I'd pick up everything
And just get the **** out of town
Let's just run away
Start brand new
**** all these Assholees
Baby it's just me and you

But you don't even know me
At least not just yet
Smiling with you
Was the least of my regrets
You claim to see my face
But I couldn't place that bet
I've lost so many friendships
Just trying to be true


Seen so many folks coming in and out of my life
But the second I met you was the second I started to fight
For better things
For happier days
For smiling for myself
For being awake

Can't take this feeling
I am so overwhelmed
Chasing my mind
Trying to keep hold of myself
revisions
Arcassin B May 2014
by Arcassin Burnham



why are all of you putting more weight on my shoulders,
waiting for the years of long pain and suffering to be over,
you all put me in a very messy mind state,
where i cant maintain,
suicide was the answer,
but it was never questioned,
out of all the ****** up things in my life,
all the exs and broken friendships,
i now realize that i cant be what they want me to be,
i can only be me,
get rid of some of this stress,
cant loosen up,
cant shake this phobia,
when all i do is shake,
like bruce banner looking for the cure to stop the hulk,
how can life go on from all my mistakes,
with bad people,
that i couldve impressed,
but failed miserably,
to know ive always hated myself,
father figures burned out of the picture,
if he could have been here my life wouldnt be like this,
deserving to die,
deserving not to live,
deserving not to care,
to live in anxiety,
probably for the rest of my life,
i hate myself.
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2014/05/cant-loosen-up.html
JJ Hutton Nov 2010
i'm a nomad gone defective,
heart attack erased, amended.

i'm a dead leaf riding the crest of the wind,
marking time by exs and favorite beverages.

i carry on the bluebird's song,
whisper nothings aside from sweet.

you planted me within your sheets,
green grow the leaves, winter, good luck with your war.

let needle perpetually lock in groove,
white wine nights that turn into levitating sunrises.
Copyright 2010 by J.J. Hutton
kelly Sep 2014
I love you one minute then the next I can't stand you.
But you always keep loving me, you  won't be leaving me, I demand you.
Attempted leaving will have you hit by the door and my hand too.
Yup, I put my hands on you, see what I can do? Why do you make me act like this, man I can't stand you!
I hate you, your family, your best friend and her man too.
But don't go to them and tell, their advice you will propel.      
I dare you to tell your brothers or dad, I swear it'll get bad.
I'll ****** all your brothers, but your dad, I will fight him.
Subconsciously hating me because I don't have the right skin; I never liked him. You see, I know what's best for you, that's me; Other fish? There's none left for you, let it be. I have problems, issues!
I really mean it when I say problems and issues. Feeling 10% to psychopath, please come step in my path! Everyone will be scarred as their viewing my precious aftermath.
Non stop problems that's causing unending issues! Problems problems problems, more problems but I miss you, issues after issues, don't slap me if I kiss you.
Then again problems, issues, problems for not responding to my text "I miss you"
You won't even hug me, i got a funny feeling that you placed someone above me? That's fine, he may think you're his, but your mine! Him and all your exs combined couldn't equal how Devine I am to you. **** it! I say we are back together I don't care what you planned to do.Take me back! I'm not asking, I'm telling you! I'll cut back on the lying and the hitting and the yelling too. Weeks,  even days after that time that you forgave me, your bodies desperate showing joy but your heart is yelling "save me." only I can save you. Crave me in same way that I crave you.
All that was just *******, truth is, I like hitting you! Weakminded, pitiful; not a chance I'm letting you go, I'll never deny you aren't beautiful. But that isn't what's eating at my core, I think of how other men would've put their hands on you before; you can take the hits some more! The power of control is the greatest, goodness gracious! I  won't punch you for no reason, matter of fact I will. Open up your eyes baby girl, this is real!  Look in the mirror at at those scars on the person I tried to ****. You need a miracle and luck too; I never did trust you. If I'm not happy then you will join me, ******* and I love you!
JJ Hutton Jun 2010
i didn't say a word.

the laughter was wrapping
tight about my neck.

two ex-girls were blushing,
my glance ricocheted off,
then landed on
my clasped hands.

i wasn't in charge of the party.
i only lived where it took place.

nobody had any alcohol,
everybody drank coffee or redbull;
talked with foreign
class.

i wasn't in charge of the music.
i only owned the stereo system.

so we listened to some pop-punkshit.
i started storing excuses,
in case someone asked me to dance.

the boys were all grinning.
the boys were all christians,
while they hunted their prey.

the girls were all grinning.
the girls were all christians,
while they still ran free.

i played priest.
kept my *** on the couch,
swore celibacy with every fired neuron.

lauren was gone,
and
amie threw a party.
she invited an army of
******* dressed exs
just to remind me i
hadn't outran my guilt.

the laughter started to wane,
people looked to me to stir
the conversation.

i didn't say a word.

i didn't breathe.
the weight of the room
was too heavy for me.

i cut myself from the stares,
someone asked where i was going,
my feet kept moving until
carpet
was traded for
concrete
was traded for
gas pedal
was traded for
anywhere distant.
Copyright 2010 by Joshua J. Hutton
I know you said it was over,
I know I said I agreed,
I know you walked away,
I was content,
For the time being

But for some reason,
It is you I keep seeing,

I can’t shake this feeling.
katie Dec 2013
To be a Mrs Joe
or become a lady
Havisham?
I weep for him
I weep for him
I weep for him and me.
I lose tears salted with his stress
or his concealed thoughts plugging up
his brilliant mind
i weep
about him, about me
about us

there's no shame in being pure
we're all pure at once
there's no shame.
To him there is.
in the doubts of his voice and tongue
there is shame.

i love him.

i love him with everything i have
everything i see
everything i believe or know
i willingly give to him but
he loves me not.
ill slip him some purple petals
dipped in yellow stigmas or become
a ghost of a girlfriend.
a ghoul of a lover.

one insignificant link in a long shackled chain of
exs
forever bound in his vast memory and mind
as
"*****" "cow" "****" "ungrateful" "unworthy"

Am I Cleoparra?
Mrs Joe? Havisham?
Estella?

I have no twinkling green eyes
i have no slender waist or
vast, indefeatable wit
i have no enigmatic undeniable beauty
That would quake the heavens and make angels sing and string Apollo's lyre
or beam such light that would Diana's breast
i am insignificant
.unspecial.
he is special.

i believe in no such god
but he would be my proof
my tear of hope
a small ray of belief and defiance
tearing apart a black unbelieving universe

i am a passing pair of peepers
he'll see a million as insignificant as i

ill only know a love like this
once.
For him.

he should live forever
he will
if not this world in a wasteland

am i Estella?
Cleopatra? Mrs Joe?
Miss Havisham?
Arcassin B Jul 2016
By Arcassin Burnham

Sectioning out the number of loses in my
History from exs to family,
There's a thing called holy Trinity,
Hope my life will get better soon from all the
Healing,
If there was a chance,
Id take it,
I'm ready and willing,
I usually stay out of problems that my neighborhood
Portrays,
Got a bundle full of fake friends that simply know
My name,
Had to hold on to the memories of prices I paid,
But after awhile I got tired and just perished away,
Now that I'm operation ghost I can not speak to anyone,
Stay inside everyday and paranoia is really fun,
Sarcasm is one of the things I picked up from this
Experience,
I'm changing all of my appearances to something
More conspicuous,
This is getting more and more ridiculous,
And I just keep fighting this anxiety while I stay
Anonymous,
Staying hidden from the world,  no more psychiatrists,
You think I'm missing sanity well I'm not missing this,
I just hope I'm in the clear.
(:Birthday Boy Here:)!!!!!

©ABPoetry2016


http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2016/07/19-ep-official.html
david badgerow Dec 2015
last night i stayed up late after the sun kissed the horizon's eyelids and wrote poems as letters to all my exs and some to my one night stands lying to them about not being scared of the dark anymore and that i don't recall the exact shape their outline made on my bed sheets.
this morning when the sun rose pink through my window i
did not lick the envelopes instead i lit the corners with
matches and shouted out their names to the walls in
my bedroom. my feet did not take me to the
mailbox instead i'm standing on cold toes
naked in front of the bathroom mirror
waiting for enough warm water to
collect in the tub for me to bathe
in. tonight i'll drink the star-
light that spills out on
the cold kitchen
floor tile and convince
myself i've never truly been
loved by anyone; that i've gotten
here by sheer force of will. that i'm
fearless and invincible while my fingers
fumble with the heavy pistol and my tears
write her name in the folds of my favorite shirt.
tonight is another late night holding sepia pictures
of her because i'm scared to go to sleep alone now. my
whole body hurts when i think about the new empty closet
space she left and how her hand would find a nest in the soft
crook of my elbow when we were walking anywhere or the fresh
shock of electricity when my fingers first found her fingers and her
fingers tied my fingers to my other fingers tight around her waist. my feet ache, because the first time we danced it felt like i had swallowed
a gallon of violent purple hummingbirds and my earlobes are
burning swollen because her painted lips aren't here to cool
them down. her finger nails found the place between my
shoulder blades naturally and i feel so foolish because i
gave my whole self to her but it was an unwanted gift.
it's three in the ******* morning again and i'm
writhing under the thick down blanket but her
velvet toes aren't tucked deep into the small
of my back for warmth. before i choke on
my mistakes and crush my fat tongue
with a bullet i just need to ask her
why

why did i lose you to him?
why are his hand prints on your hips?
why does he get to wake up next to you?
why can't i think of a good excuse to call you?
why did my right foot disappear when you left me?
why does his morning breath get to tickle your eyelashes?
why can't i remember what your nose looks like when you laugh?
why isn't my pillow as comfortable as your bellybutton?
why do you have nothing to say to me anymore?
why does my mouth still taste like a bird's nest?
why did you take my cast iron skillet?
can't get the format consistent on hp and i'm tired of trying to **** with it.
JJ Hutton Oct 2010
He spat acid,
left you defaced,
******,
misplaced.

I sold lovelessness
to myself, left sweethearts
in sorrow,
in madness,
in a fury to find good arms.

And here we are,
your cold, detached facade
starting to melt,
and I lap it up,
hoping you never
find it again.

You wrap your arms around mine,
as we cross seas of parking lots
in the middle of the night,
and I don't know where the hell
we're going, but it feels so fine.

Your laugh
is the song of angels,
your touch is soothing,
and all your mistakes,
and all the exs,
and all the gods,
led me to you,
whether we bloom and burst,
wilt,
or ride the wind forever,
I'm just thankful to have found you.
Copyright 2010 by J. J. Hutton
The Dedpoet Jun 2017
Ive written about my experience
With a daughter i lost in my youth:
Amber waves in the still
Of my soul,
The story in my perception
Truth be spoken,
She wasnt really mine.

And my heart is stilled,
Born into my life
My love could not be seen
As fatherly,
A choice made
And years fade into the torture
That is my mind.

17 years after the four
Of loving her,
The love of my life,
The Ded inside the poet
Reaches into my reality
And once again all is
The chaos.
Ambers wave.....

I raised her for the first four years
Of her life knowing
She wasnt mine.
When my ex and i separated
I lost Amber too:

You reached into a well
Of souls and captured
My whole being,
Ambers waves like a beach
On Sunday morning's
Glory,
Life is in me to hear your voice,
And the truth comes
Like the last gasp.

Amber is my exs daughter,
She cheated on me and we assumed
Amber wasnt mine.
So four years i loved her.
She was born at 6 months old
And weighed only 2.7 pounds.
I reached out four months
Ago for some reason on facebook
After she friended me.
I asked her if she still talked to
The man we though was her dad:

Time is a hammer
Always pounding and memory
Is the tear we dont shed,
It all comes out at once
And the weight of regret
Can be lifted,
The soul cleansed,
The hope invigorating
And life is a dream within
A dream within....

She couldnt tell me anything
So her mother gets on messenger
And tells me she is going to call me.
She tells me Amber is mine.
That I was her father all along.
The stillness in my whole
Life lifted.

And the beauty of life is
That the unexpected
Is always the best anything,
Knowing is like a perpetual
Repetitive insanity,
Regret a broken record player,
Depression a choice within
Not to fight even when
You lose,
Ambers wave came like a
Dream awake.
The reality is,
If this is real, never wake me.......




My heart is open again.
Life is so beautiful.
Amber was born with cerebral
Palsy on the right side of her
Body, shes 21 and she found
She had a great big family
After feeling so alone.
She fights everyday and is in college
So when i met her she amazed
Me with her fight. Never
Giving up i awoke from
My stillness. I have a daughter
21 years old!!!!
My little girls have a big sister.
My still born was a metaphor
For my life being stopped after she wasnt in my life.
See my facebook for
The pictures of my long lost
Daughter. Life is a beautiful
Craziness.
Ashli McKee Dec 2009
My everything
Is what you are
With our love
We can go far
You are in my life
I will be your wife
Emotions run high
Always your pumpkin pie
My heart races
My mind retraces
Spend my life with you
That’s what I want to do
You are in my heart always
Even on cloudy days
The butter on my toast
My exs are ghosts
I want you only
You’ll never be lonely

No Date
Ashli Jane
ARuckus Apr 2018
Just want you to know that you can all go to hell. Everyone wants to taste, gives the chase, everyone wants a piece, a slice, for no price. no one really gives a s. My exs forsake me, my mother never forgave me, my father forgot all about me, they tell my brothers that I'm crazy. Once a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, jaded from being Amongst Thieves. Can't trust nobody, cuz they all just want to be me. No one sees the pain, the hurt, jus listen to the lies, as my name is **** through the dirt. The Asians hated me, the blacks steal my guys, my name, and my pride from me, they say they want to support me, but they don't realize they just degrading me. The whites smile in my face, as they stab me in my back. Living everyday with the lies they put forward, it's harder than reaching for the stars untoward. This cross is too heavy, it's too much to bear, every Rock they throw is more wear and tear, my body barely drags on, everyday is a different challenge yet the same with this cross too much to wear. My exs forsake me, my mother has never forgiven me, and my father forgotten me, while they tell my brothers that I'm just crazy. The other day I was just verbally attacked by another, all she tryina do is smother, my last will, my last Flame, is smited by those who smile in my face, and talk behind my back. Her white devil coming out, yet im The one still left out. In the rain, the cold, the dark, all i need is one spark. The wound in my back grows, I feel like I'm bleeding out, in this Darkness, I'm lost with no way out. Some Say buy a gun, you have to fight for your right, stand up tall. Well I feel like I have done all, I spit into the wind and it smacks me in the face, left in shame and disgrace. I fight this fight alone, unarmed, and unprepared for the battles thrown my way, so my shoulders slump, as I try to give jump, and I end up just a big pile of nothing, a lump. People walk over me, kick me when I'm down, then ask why do I frown? I Ask myself how long was the score, how long must this go on, but they say it's just begun. You must suffer, you must take it all, for you brought this on, the squall. It is you who beckons the evil from others within, and it is you who must bear this Smite and Smothers, for in the end you will grow stronger my dear. I am called out, cussed out, stabbed in the back, and this wound will not heal. This mental mind-f has left me empty inside, and just trying to hide. Everyone believes that these demons that haunt me are my own, but they play blind deaf and dumb to those that taunt me. These bullies throw out harmful threats, but that's not what scares me, it's how those react around me, who are not there for me, to love, to support, to believe in me , when I am in need. When they're nowhere that's what gives the scare. How much longer is this beating, they look at me and ask what beating?
Delyla Nunez Feb 2022
I won’t sugar coat it,
He create a peace,
A Sanity is still made.
We were never meant to be more,
An attraction yes,
But we were meant as friends.
We laugh,
We rage,
And in the end it’s my fault.
I caused it,
Everything.
Now there’s nothing I can do.
kyle Shirley May 2015
We all have it, that fire inside that pushs us. Could be here for another or that sensation you get working out, but nevertheless its that fire.
My passion had this fire, as you see in my writings.
My hate for the enemy's that want to see me fail at what I love.
My fire that drives me away from my Exs, ******* *****.
My fire that is ready to explode with crafty vengeance to hurt amd destroy the ones that lie and back stab me.

We all feel it, yet hardly any of us use it to get what we want. I still dont, As I feel like I still have some heart left.
Id tell my past self to use my hate, fire, passion, all of the above and take what I feel belongs to me. Id **** her, id take the money, id trash all those ******* lives. I wont fail at it, un like there unsuccessful trys. Please mother *******, you have no idea what this mind is capable of.
People dont forget...
moon child Dec 2018
Listen.

I know you're moving on.
You have every right to be and it's none of my business anymore because
//we're not together//
Anymore.

I never cared in the past.
//I've never felt sick.//
I've never lost sleep.
//I've never lost all feeling.//
When previous
Exs
Moved on.

But you were the first.
Of everything.

To me
You were my everything.

First real love //First real ****// First real heartbreak //First real loss//

You
Were
My
First

And it feels like
Everything
And
Nothing

Now you're gone.

And I crave that connection
//And I ******* hate it//
And I fear it
//And I search for it//

But

Without you

All of life
Is
Make-believe.
mantieteo Oct 2014
I thought you were cool
While we sat in your drug filled pool
I thought you were so ******* cool
You told me **** about yourself.
You opened up to me
when I broke down see
you hugged me in the cold alley and told me about how your life was like in Cali
I heard you choke up when I told you about how horrible I felt
I caught you when you were vulnerable
I admired you because of what I saw that night
But you went back to being an ******* but your worse now
Or maybe you always were that way
Or you're just bored burning brain cells  with all the tokes you take and tired of jerking it to your exs pictures
So you decide you **** up someone else's life and make you friend do the ***** work
My mom hates you
She doesn't know a thing about you
She hates you
I hate you too
Arcassin B Jun 2014
By Arcassin Burnham

From being jumped on a bus, To friends showing true colors, Take pity on you all, To death or some other My life was not a box of chocolates, More like a take cover, I pray you ******* die, Like a dreaded lover,

For my exs, You will never have my love again, You ******* are ****** anyway, I hate you all with a deep sorted passion, Make me think I'm a horrible person, Cause I love to ****, Put my frustration out on you, So the times I had with y'all will perish still, From being called a fake, To the accuse of a non cheater system, I hope you ******* have babies, And the fathers leave them.

The annoyance And the anger, Would only get me through my day, And for that I hate myself, Knock you out, So you dont have the words to say, And still I pray today, To everyone that left me behind, A horrible fate. Die.
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2014/06/hate-poem.html
Arcassin B May 2018
By Arcassin Burnham


Growing old as a dead man,
living in the water.
All alone,no one to love,
faith that you believe in is faith that only I should have,
In such a world like this one,they will decide.
just to pick and choose what their heart wanna desire.

I could be the one to tell spill my heart out on the table.
hate me and then they love me , at the same time they're able.
why won't females take me as I am and not they want.
But all I get is girls that go behind my back and simply just taunt,
why does love forsake me?

My mind nowadays doesn't focus on what the love brings,
visions in my head bring up exs and God it really stings,
what the **** is the purpose of everybody settling,
buying diamonds and pearls for people they were gossiping,
about , next you know everybody breaks up,
they just take a breath, lost whatever your mind makes up,
I thought she loved me,
I thought she cared,
she knew my moms and I thought it was okay,
but,
I must have did something wrong cause now she got her mind made
up packing clothes in a suitcase,
When I gave everything was it a ******* joke?
you don't got sense enough to look me in the face,
life lessons here , love is overrated,
don't you situate it,don't you complicate it,
people only replicate it.
live life by yourself to the end,
I know you like me but I tell you this as a friend.

I could be the one to tell spill my heart out on the table.
hate me and then they love me , at the same time they're able.
why won't females take me as I am and not they want.
But all I get is girls that go behind my back and simply just taunt,

I Don't Care What You Want.
©abpoetry2018

http://abpvalley.blogspot.com/2018/05/forbidden-love-featured-on-no-guns-in.html
Wuji Sep 2014
Guess what,
You're reading this right now love.
You don't really care,
You're just curious.
Don't worry I get it.

But why are you here though,
What right do you have?
You left me broken and alone,
Yet you still hang on for my words.
Maybe I never actually left your head.

How does this make you feel?
You always liked to check on your exs.
I changed my name,
And you followed me here.
But since I have you, why not look around?

Will you dare to read a love poem,
The ones that proves that this last year was real.
All those words inspired by your promises.
Or are those thoughts amputated,
Trying to rid yourself of this disease.

What did they tell you?
That I was manipulating you do to what I want?
I did everything for you.
Let me take you back.
Think of the good times, they didn't have to end.  

Guess what I know?
I know your afraid of me.
I love that, it's so cute.
So why not play with fire some more?
After all we still have a world to burn.
*Wink*
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Today's my birthday
Finally eighteen
I should be out having fun
Instead I'm here sulking
Over my ex who's dating a baby
But honestly,
That baby can have her
My ex isn't built to keep anything
That's her demise in her little game
But I know I don't love her, too many things about her I knew I couldn't take if the need was before me
She reminds me of my sisters exs excessively
Yeah she was different, but she was also too much the same

And to make this fair
I'll admit I know my own demise
I have slow ears and slow eyes
*****, I unknowingly sabotage
I ain't even gonna lie
I only see it later, after payment's due
Glad I don't **** with you
Cause payment has long been overdue
If it goes as planned, everything should be good.
Fox Mar 2019
I love myself
I truly do
And I know others love me too

I’ve always loved my figure
I know at one time I was too thin
But it didn’t really matter to me then

I’ve never suffered from depression
And anxiety attacks don’t plague me
Though my emotions sometimes run free

I only have two exs
The first is now my best friend
And on the other I can still depend

All in all
I really love my life
And it’s not full of much strife

Despite all of this
I still have insecurities
And these things like to plant seeds

People just don’t get it
I’m human too
I have problems too

But it’s fine
It’s whatever
I’ll go back to being fine

Because no one wants to listen to the “privileged girl’s” minuscule problems
She’s perfectly fine
Yeah I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything but I just needed to get some of my thoughts out of my head
Kon Grin Sep 2017
Yellows
Colour symbolising Texas
Exs and excess of sun
Joy forbidden in a country
Of baboonish law and minds gone

Yellows
Hue derived in rare
Brightness but a shade well-done
Bet your daughter's unaware
Of a background ****
Faith Jan 2018
Yes. Oh, yes i did. God

Erased of Contact. Not erased when DRUNK....

HOW THE HECK WHY THE FUDGE AND CRACKERS AM I ALLOWED TO DIAL PHONE WHEN 4 DAYS AGO TO DIAL... WAIT FOR IT... WAIT

My frickin exs number

Lovely to awaken see the PHONE

LOG.....NO.

SERIOSLY. TELLING TRUTH...

HES ******

BUT.. ( DRUNK ME WANTS TO TALK TO HIM)

SORRY TO MYSELF.
Thando Apr 2019
I have a graphic addiction.
It was first fun
But now it has become
an over controlling obsession.
I have this spiritual oppression.
I regret setting my foot on this station,
what to do,
I'm still in love this controlling
beast, without pure intentions.
Don't be fooled
by the rhymes
And re-read my confession.
I'm trapped in this prison.
No, it's not a physical prison
but my mind's delusions.
Like a flourishing bird,
against the cloud gang
I kiss the air
with my intoxicating breath.
These voices are in norm mode
and my true self is gone.
_
Please help me if you can!
Save my soul before it burns!
Before I cross over to the dead
I don't want to be swallowed
by this land
and meet my grandfather
like THIS
No! it can't happen.
I want to brake through
I want to be like you
be-FREE
and have no exs.
puzzle
Austin Morrison May 2020
She's a little crazy, weird, and unusual, and it is impossible to know what's going on in her head.

I always enjoy talking to her, but she always leaves me on read.

But her smile puts the pain away, described something like an old cliche.

Her eyes are like the beauty on a cloudy day, a stunning shade of bluey grey.

I feel the warmth when I am around her, seeing her brings me joy.

It's like my first crush from middle school, I feel like a little boy.

I stumble my words when I talk to her, she twists my tongue so I slur. 

She is stuck in my mind, so all my exs are a blur.

This might seem quite strange to you, but for me I am quite sure.

Because she makes me nervous and I love it because there's things i must admit.

She is a pain in my ***, she likes to tease. She calls me nerdy and we laugh, i say it back and she agrees.

I do what I can to make her see, I have strong feelings for this girl, I just hope she does for me.
Anton Angelino Oct 2023
Just why?
Tell us why did you do what you did?
Are you on the run or losing it?
Why did you ruin everything we’ve worked to keep?
You always ruin everything!

Alright, here it is.

Just why, why’d you cut us off after everything that we’ve been to?
Just think, if I made the decision to cut y’all off I had reasons to.
And what was that you posted when you have all that anxiety?
Well, to update y’all, it was just me tryna please everybody.
I ain’t got beef with anybody and I ain’t a vegetarian.
I don’t spill blood battling with my haters, instead I bury ‘em.
I don’t let intrusive thoughts affect my decision making.
I do turn on a whim, but I ain’t lost, I got priorities.
I could’ve been a savior, hell, I could’ve been a hero.
I could’ve been a full-time villain but got better ideas.
At first I gave y’all complications only so I could spite ya.
Now they’re making compilations that I ain’t even a part of.
Never skype ya.
Never talk to ya.
I ain’t buying what you selling.
Before y’all criticize that too, listen to what y’all  been saying.

So I won.
So I won.
Anton?
Why that name?
What you on?
I thought
it could be
a fresh start.
So I won.
Yeah I won.
Uh-huh.

I changed my name, like I reinvent myself yearly.
I check marked LA, shut your mouth, it is way too early.
To complain like that, wish I ain’t made it work, really?
I got my haters’ backs so I could stab them hoes there, easy.
What you talkin’ ‘bout? What the ******* mean by hoax?
Darkness in your basement, catch a light no wonder it looks sus.
I am on a level you ain’t dreamed of seeing, let alone reaching.
Your brains’ ain’t been lucid thinking, shoulda stuck to preaching.
Suits you.
Suits you, make you look more silly than you are.
If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em, but I think I’d rather die.
I didn’t pave this road for ‘em to muddy it back up.
I’m a blueprint to myself, hate I take as a compliment.
Fruity and rocking Gucci, I’m an edible arrangement.

So I won.
So I won.
Anton?
Where the hell
‘d you get it from?
We thought
you were running
but you aren’t.
Yeah I won.
The marathon.
But I ain’t running.

I used to fear dentists, planes and social interactions.
Now I floss, I’m sky high and receive standing ovations.
These hoes oily, extra ******, when I eat I do it raw, stare.
These walking failures getting oral checked but at a dentist chair.
I sleep under palm trees *******, summer body done.
I can see y’all hoes are *******, acting downside up.
Before I let y’all disappear, you’ll see what you passed up on.
Give me a heads up, cover my ears before y’all wax on.
Wax on.
Wax on but as in y’all ******* babbling.
Still like bayou water but my jacuzzi bubbling.
I’ll send y’all postcards from vacays in countries round the equator.
Make y’all **** hurt, get y’all a good buttache alleviator.
If that doesn’t help, why don’t y’all get off my D?
If you so against me, why you fools stay fooling with me?
I keep it straight with me and I didn’t always do.
If it benefits me then that’s what I’m gonna do.
I thought they would like me if I changed a thing or two.
But that wasn’t me and I ain’t liked who I turned into.
I would leave them hanging if I felt so inclined.
For when I wanted realness but y’all ******* declined.
I’mma release poems on all my exs’ birthdays too.
Give me a fortnight,
I’mma make it too.
Starting now I should know that red and green differ.
Be this hot and I never signed a deal with Lucifer.
And next time y’all wanna kiss my ***, just say you need a ride.
I’mma pass, here’s a disclaimer, it’s me now I prioritize.

So I won.
So I won.
Anton?
Why that name?
What you on?
My prime ****
to be exact
and ain’t no act.
So I won.
So I won.
Wax on, wax on.

Get me on that walkie talkie and for ******* what?
Sick of your fucky wucky so shut the **** up.
On a brighter note, I’mma dearly thank all of my homies.
Twenty years you’ve given me support through all of my wilding.
I’ll make sure to leave y’all my address in Rosemead when I finally go.
I’mma wrap this up now, catch you on the flipside, this is Bella Goth.
Poem #19 off “Bella Goth” and the first promotional poem off the collection.

— The End —