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Haylin May 2019
You know that feeling
When everything around you
Is just spinning,
Pounding,
Bringing total chaos?

But somehow you feel nothing at all.
Not scared about being shot at.
Not being scared that a car is about to hit you.
Not being scared that the freshman that you just shoved out of your way will come and hurt you.

You just stand there,
Watching the bullets fly at you.
Watching the headlights on the car come straight at you.
Walking away but turning around to make sure he isn't running after you.
Just waiting to see what will happen next.

That feeling you have when all that chaos is happening,
That my friend is called calm.
abs Oct 2018
i guess i guess
we weren't at the same place
i guess i guess
freshman year was meant for mistakes

i guess i guess
i'm sorry
i guess i guess
i wasn't ready
i guess i guess
i didn't know what i wanted
and neither did you
i guess i guess
we weren't at the same place
i guess freshman year was meant for mistakes

i guess i had a lot of things
to say to you
i guess i hope this helps too
i guess i wanna say
i still like you.
i really like this one too ugh
Haylin Jun 2018
I survived my freshman year
I'm now a sophomore
But I want the school year to be here
I miss school
I have 82 days left of hell

~6/14/18
Haylin Apr 2018
As a mere freshman in high school
I was cursed with the miracle of life
Or an angel of death
That was wrapped in a pink blanket.
She was mine
After nine months of developing
She was here
But on unwelcomed sircumstances
****
An unwanted word
That's the way she came
When I was a mere freshman in high school.
Lucelia Marie
As I decided to name her
Was small and fragile
Something I couldn't take care of
As a mere freshamn in high school
Adoption, they called it
For the best, they told me
As a mere freshman in high school
So now she is four months old
With the woman she will know as 'Mom'
Not me...But a stranger
That picked her up in the night
When I was a mere freshman in high school

So my little girl is gone...
For four months ago today.
I will miss her always
Even as a mere freshman in high school
The pain of a last kiss
This is not true about me. I just made this up.
jack of spades Aug 2017
15
so as of next week i will be starting my first year of college in a town too far away to come home for an evening and people keep telling me about the “freshman fifteen,” its inevitability, like i dont know how to live alone and the response to that is somehow gluttony. i dont think people realize how good i am at not eating. my digestive system still hasnt forgiven me for when i was sixteen and liked the taste of anorexia. no one ever talks about the fact that apparently part of recovery is running to the bathroom twenty minutes after every meal and having to stay there for twenty minutes after every meal because once you stop eating, your stomach stops holding anything. your intestines start making up for lost time. and it’s gross to say it but it’s something i live with and in reality the symptoms make me want to just stop eating again. there’s a reason i didn’t get the biggest meal plan. maybe i’ll start working out again, because that always helps make me forget that im missing dinner again, because thats what i did last time. i dont like the way people talk about the “freshman fifteen” because they dont know what i was like when i was sixteen. they dont know how good i am at not eating.
It wasn't a mistake that I took Philosophy 101 my freshman year in college.
Indeed,
It was
"Fate"
Philosophical questions ended my abuse
They became me
I know it's considered cliché to question everything, but now
I do
And if I hadn't taken PHIL 101, or had an extensive background knowledge in Christianity
Because in 2013,
A hot boy asked me to come to his youth group and I said yes
And because of that hot boy I became engulfed with The Spirit, and became a worship leader in a youth group band
Who became a worship leader in a church
Who became a bruised and abused girlfriend of a non-Christian who broke her faith, that wasn't even whole to begin with,
Who became a freshman in college who took a PHIL 101 class
Who became the girl who finally ******* figured out
That the destiny she so pined for from the moment she was a starry-eyed 7 year old coming home from Brazil
Sitting on her dead aunt's lap, in a frame in the college girl's bedroom
She would know
Her destiny was her own choice
She was the ruler of her own world
And whatever decision she made would be the right one because she made it

-E (c) 2017
Annie McLaughlin Dec 2016
grade nine, cold feet, new beginning
when is this going to end?
counting the scars, but only the visible ones
43.
is that enough to send me to the counselor?
i sit down, squint my eyes
****, everything hurts
but i can't complain
i did this to myself
"oh my god, what happened?"
pretty girl asks from across the table
accident.
that's what i say
it's always an accident.
day is done, get on the bus, wait to cry
second stop
i get off
go into my room
more scars
they keep adding up
i'm not going to make it past 14.
17 now
happy moments
oh, ****
i still have scars, don't i?
It's hard to write about what happened to me in 9th grade. It's hard to really acknowledge that these things happened.
Maple Mathers Feb 2016
I need a fix
I need a line,
Boy, I don't need
Your Valentine.
I had feelings once.

(All poems original Copyright of Eva Denali Will © 2015, 2016)
Scott Horror Dec 2015
in first grade
i had my first crush
on a boy
who told me
that i was annoying
and to leave him alone

in second grade
i pretended to be a witch
and my friends
cast spells
and rode invisible brooms

in third grade
i lost a spelling bee
because i misspelled
the word cotton

in fourth grade
i started my first diet
because my sister
made fun of my baby fat

in fifth grade
i had to get an appendectomy
and when i came back
people remembered me
only because i was gone

in sixth grade
I started skipping lunch
to go to the library
and sit in the bathroom
and cry
until class started

in seventh grade
i pulled apart a shaving razor
and sliced the inside of my wrist
and hid the small line
with a bracelet
made of denim

in eighth grade
i cut all my hair off
with safety scissors
and i learned
that no one will date me
and that my lips will never be kissed

in the ninth grade
i smoked
and wrote
and stopped talking
because no one wanted
to know that i existed

and i don't
think i will make it
to tenth grade
my school experiences
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