He was the moon
So glorious and majestic,
Extravagant and eccentric.

I am the (night) sky
Full of dreams and stories
Etched within the stars
That beautifies me
Everynight.

Without them
Without him,
I am nothing
But a void.
No reason to look up
No reason to care at all.

Everynight,
He is hidden
Behind the dark clouds
I don't know
Where they came from.

Sometimes
He wouldn't let me see
Himself in his great beauty.
Only a half, a crescent, or a quarter
Is what he gives.

But there are also times
When he shows himself
All his imperfections
And shines within
The vast stretch of darkness
I only care to give.

And people slowly
Starts to see
How we became a beautiful pair.

How he shines for me
And how I
Let them see
How beautiful he is.

And the stars,
My dreams,
Comes dancing and shining.

It was a sight to behold.
We were extraordinary.

But I was afraid
Too much will break our bond.
And so I ran away
When he so beautifully
Shined and glowed.

I always make a mistake everynight.
I let my darkness go
I let the stars kept under my blanket.

For I make way to someone
Who is more beautiful
Just like him
Shining and glowing
Just like him.

When combined both
They make up the universe
They make up the whole existence of us.

I am just a mere foreground
Changing my course
And watching them
Chase for each other
Until eternity.

A blink of words
That can't be said
Or even be written
She is poem of thousand words


She is fierce and gentle
All at once
She's a song
An unending song


She is a sparkle
She is a shine
She is the only thing
That i want to call mine

She is my everyday
And an everynight
She is every morning
And an every twilight


She is all i know
She is all i see
She is a sweet melody
She is an  unmatching rhythm

Crows and corn chips, Squirrels and beer sips…
Lazy hammock and Hemming-way,
our rabbits mowing the grass today...
A nap under the advancing stars,

A Paradise in our Backyard!

Raccoons love the chicken bones,
everynight, a fox visits our home,
Fish guts and crab-leg shells,
opossum out there giving-‘em-Hell,
Casting corn and some bird seed,
for Mother Nature everything she needs,
God’s aces and a Wild Card!

A Paradise in our Backyard!

Ohhh! In summer a Bar-be-que,
and you the prettiest girl I ever Knew!
Couple ‘o kids and a swimming pool,
mini-van and Cadillac-cool,
Love the beaches and mountains,
of Carolina and my country-kin,
Wouldn’t trade it for the whole of Mars,

A Paradise in our Backyard!

You and me under the stars,
our home, children and a dream of ours,
Leo, Virgo, Aries and Mars,
I thank the Lord for your tender heart.
Our life amazing, though a, rough start,

A Paradise in our Backyard!

Oo-oh -a paradise in our Backyard!
You and me under the stars,
Our home and children; a dream of ours,
Leo, Virgo, Aries and Mars,
I thank the Lord for your tender heart...
...a Paradise in our Backyard!

Some people say it’s just a yard,
...this paradise under the stars,
Leo, Virgo, Aries and Mars,
you, me, children of ours.

Our home, children, a dream of ours,
I thank you Jesus for your tender heart;
Paradise in our Backyard!

A Paradise in our Backyard!

Oooh -a paradise in our Backyard!
You and me under the stars,
Our home and children a dream of ours,
Leo and Virgo, Aries and Mars,
A Paradise in our Backyard!
Praise Jesus and NAS-CAR!
You and me under the stars,
our home and children a dream of ours,
Leo and Virgo, Aries and Mars,
some people say it’s just a yard?
You and me under the stars
-and a Paradise in our Backyard!

A Paradise in our Backyard!
A Paradise in our Backyard!
A Paradise in our Backyard!

<musical break>

I love you,

heaven: Hea Anna

I was never a rose,
But green
Not a chrysanthemum,
Nor an orchid
Something cut,
Walked upon
And yet,
You were the dew
And kissed me,
With a thousand moist kisses
Everynight,
Making me sparkle
In the sunrise

My small hut of dreams
surviving all alone atop of hill
covered all around with huge deodar trees
of muddy wall and slanting roof sill

Ginger and cardamom tea
near the orange fire place
reading journals
I will live , capturing the first snow in days

freshly baked potato in oven clay
sprinkled rock salt with melted cheese
fragrant leaves of corainder
lingers on and stays

sweet and sour taste of wine
from the close by farm of grapes
friends and family gather everynight
over dinner and United prays

bells echoing mystery in the air
far from the temples on a difficult mountain
where path to heavens looks reachable
trekking the rocks in sun and in rain


Manisha

Why do I struggle in bed?
I feel like my body wants to jump out of my skin.
Why do we think about things?
That makes our brain wants to jump out of our heads.
Lost in my thoughts, all of my patience          and waiting
and waiting for you to come in.
I don’t want to be here, not even hell could create a cage that can hold all my sins.
Why do I struggle in bed?
By the way how my covers look, seems I was dancing instead.

All of these strings,
Abandoning me.
        Tucked away, stored
         Creating new ways they can trigger me.
                Into thinking
                    I’m  breaking
           And yet create tangles inside of me.
Why do I struggle in bed?
     Why must you make nightmares out of rawness and sweat?
         Everynight I wake up, it’s like my body is soaked.
                           Drenched.
Why do I...why do I... keep having nightmares in bed?

"If I could choose between loving you and breathing you I would use my last breath to say I love you."
 
Danger was in the air as I ran over to your house, right next door, the perfect place for a best friend to live. If i ever had a problem my first assumption was to run right to your house, let you hold me and comfort me. I would let you soothe me and tell me over and over again that everything would be okay. By the way you said it only half the time I believed you.
 
Sometimes when I see you in the hallway I still say hi, its so hard to register the fact that now all I get from you is silence.
You look down each time I pass you.
Your eyes blank, a endless brown whole with nothing in it, not the love I used to see there or even a faint glint of happiness.
I forget about the past we had.
Where I pratically killed you, destroying your heart with my naive movements and my dumb choices.
I didnt mean it! I want to scream, to cry out to you.
How much I wish you would forgive me.
My shame eats me up everynight, everytime I see you my stomach drops and all I want to do is go into the corner and cry.
 
I keep the memories of our friendship hidden in the back of my brain, all those times we had together. The ones you just forgot and I still go back to everynight. My safezone is this dark, cold, world. The world where i am alone.
Without you I am nothing.
 
At this point Im brought back into that time in my life where everything was perfect.
Where you were my best friend, and all our problems were gone,
Where we can talk all day everyday, instead of getting into an argument every two seconds.
 
If only I didnt have to ruin it all..
And when its dark out, and everyones lights are off. The animals are sleeping and the owls are awake, Schools closed, the city silent besides those few drunkies who send echos of screams through the deserted streets. I let the memories captivate me and take over my body.
I am sent back to a time when everything was perfect.
Soon I begin to beleive this is all reality and I am back into your arms again.
But then my alarm clock rings, I get up and dressd for school.
See you in the hallway surrounded by girls, just the sight of you making milllions of emotions evolve in my stomach,
I smile at you, and my heart flutters as I see you smile back at me and wink. Your white teeth glistening, but then I turn around to see her there. The girl with the long lucious hair that cascades down her hourglass figure, With the blue eyes with brighten in delight.
 
I begin to wonder why I ever let you go.
The answer comes to me it was because I thought you would chase after me.

I used to think addiction
Was something that you brought upon yourself,
Something you chose.
I thought a drink here and a puff there
Then you were hooked

I thought addiction
Was something to numb the pain
Not something that caused an ach in your chest
That made you feel like your lungs had collapsed
And broke you a little more everyday

I didn’t think Addiction
Would come with a heartbeat
And a voice telling me they loved me
Everynight before I went to sleep
With soft skin and a crooked smile

But it turns out Addiction
Can make your heart soar
But it always leaves you wanting more
Obsessed with the next time
You can get your fix

I never thought Addiction
Would crash into my life,
Leave me helpless as I was swept up in its wake
But surprisingly okay with letting it take
Everything in my life that belonged to me

I gave into Addiction
With its charming words,
And hot temper that could explode without warning.
It's bright eyes
And cruel words

I’m learning to live with an Addiction
That I can't help but run towards.

Only my pillow knows of the late nights staring at the ceiling, of the silent tears rolling until tiredness knocks me out.
Of the scenarios I plot that most likely will never happen.
Only my pillow knows because my diary is hidden under it.
Of the dreams where you realize its been long enough and come looking for me.
Only my pillow knows and doesnt get tired of the same subject everynight, only she gets what I feel and stays in silence while I weep.
Only my pillow knows I hit snooze cause I want to keep dreaming of you. Only she knows that every morning you are my first thought.
What my pillow doesnt know but my car stereo does is that everyday I try to find music that doesn't remind me of you, that I fake a smile as long as the day lasts until I get back home to the only one that knows the truth.

~~¤~~

S-weetest ever, sweetest heart
W-earing a smile, I love so much
E-veryday, everynight
E-very moment of my life
T-hankful I am for your gift
H-eart of mine wants to receive
E-very drop of your rain
A-sk me now if there is pain
R-ead my eyes, my lips, my deeds
T-rue love of mine, you're all I need

~~¤~~

I have so many secrets under my tongue.
I want to tell you that when I say "I don't care" I really mean:
I care too much. I see the way your shoulders curve downwards when you're with that someone
else that isn't me and I see the way you make yourself smaller to try and fit inside some definition
of love. I want you to know that I want all of you, so much of you at one time that the doctors are scared
I'll overdose.
What I mean is, you were it. And you are it. And you are everything.
And if you don't know what I mean by this, I mean- look at the stars.
Look at the ground, look at your feet. Everytime I see you I wish for roots.
So I can't move. So I can dedicate my stillness to never letting you make yourself smaller for me.
I want to tell you that when I'm silent I mean:
I hope you're doing okay. I hope you stop losing people.
I hope everyone who gets to see your smile knows how lucky they are.
I hope your bed curves to your back everynight, appreciating the freckles.
I know the constellations are jealous of your alignment.
I want to tell you that when I look at you and look away I'm thinking about imminence again.
How one day we'll see eachother and it won't be too late and I'll say oh my god, you haven't changed a bit.
And we'll laugh because who the **** am I to make any sort of comparison?
I want to tell you that when I say "I don't care" I really mean:
I care so much it keeps me awake.
I really mean "I love you even when I'm sober"

It all comes down to this:
Praying to Osiris to find me again.
Turns out I'm pretty lost without him.

(Verse 1.)


~ Baby, I never saw this coming.

~ I was caught off guard without ever knowing, the direction we were going.

~ I never thought it through, I just remember knowing... I was falling for you.

~ Baby, everytime I close my eyes, I can feel your hand.

~ As I held it softly in mine.

~ I remember, baby...I remember everything...

~ From every wave that crashed to every single drop of rain that fell that day...

~ I can still feel, the chill of the wind on our skin, as we made love there in the sand.


(Verse 2)


~ I can feel your warmth

~ Your body and mine,  side by side, and the depth of your eyes, girl...

~  Even the  glow of your silhouette...

~ And  the way the moonlight danced through your hair,

~ I couldn't believe my eyes, I fell harder and harder...

~  Baby do you remember...

~When we...

~Sang along...with every song...

~ Rolling around.  Laughing out loud on that beach, all night long...what went wrong.

~Oh... Do you remember?



(Chorus)



~ Baby…every single night...

~ Everytime I close my eyes...

~ I can see you laying there, dripping dry under the moon light.

~ Feeling the water dripping softly from your hair,

~ The chill on my chest as each drop fell. And the smell of rain in the salty air

~ I can still see that smile on your face, oh girl you shined that night.

~ While you lay there in my arms,  silently I  pretend...

~ That this  moment was forever... that this night would never end.

~ But, that morning Sunrise soon began.

~ Do you remember... Oh, do you remember girl?

~ Everynight...Every **** time I close my eyes.

~ I see you laying there,  waving your fingers through the air.

~  You signed  your name with every star in the sky

~ I laughed but you don't care...

~ Every night... Every time I close my eyes...



(Verse 3)


~ The look on your face as you looked up at me.

~ The taste of the salt on your lips.

~ And the sound of your flip flops,  flopping on your feet.

~ Baby... I never thought you would ever sink that deep.

~ But, I still feel your touch.

~ Your fingers, as they pulled away from me.

~ Oh girl... I can still see those tears

~ I kissed you as they began to stream down your cheek.

~ Baby do you remember?


(Bridge)


~ I know I should be sleeping

~ But ****** baby...

~ Your memory,

~ These scars you left me, keep repeating...they keep reminding me..

~Baby do you remember?

~ Do you remember?


(chorus 2)


~ Baby... Every **** night...  I  dry those eyes.

~ Every **** time ... We say this isn't goodbye.

~ But baby... Every night, we lie

~ Oh girl.... We lie...

~ Everynight...

~ Every **** time I close my eyes.

~ I can see you laying there,  your fingers in the air.

~ Signing your name with every star light in the sky.

~ I know you don't care

~But I still hold you every night, every time I close my eyes


(Outro)


~ Oh baby... Every night

~ no there is never,  enough...time…

~ Every night...  Every **** time I close my eyes

~ It's never enough

~ No matter what I do, there's never enough time

~ To re-write you...

~ To re-write…you…

"Pat. Alam mu ba, hindi ko talaga alam kung gusto kita, o gusto kita kasi un yung dapat.
Naguguluhan ako nun, everynight iniisip ko kung makikipag hiwalay ba ko sayo para hanapin ang sarili ko. Kasi hindi ko na alam.
Hindi ko talaga na alam, gusto kong lumayo. Mapag-isa.

Pero alam mu, akala ko mahal kita. Akala ko gusto kita. mahal na mahal pala kita , ikaw yung gusto ko. Ngayon. Bukas. At sa mga susunod pang araw.I love you honey :') hindi ko alam kung panu titigil ung puso ko na mahalin ka.
HAHAHA
Mugto na mata ko
HAHAHA
can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Promise mas mamahalin pa kita hangga't pwede.
Hangga't ok.
Thank you. i love you. I love you hon!

Gm 'to.

Hahaha drama lang

#pat<3<3<3
#Iloveyousuper!
#saranghe"

u want more emotion, maybe im just tourchered to the point im just going through the motions praying out there i find a potion to let me relax, maybe stop the wise cracks about how im fat or how minimal the cash is i stack. or maybe the fact when i cut open my vain i just see black no crimson blood just black oozing from the cracks as if my tanned skin is a stone statue starting to crumble under the weight of self loathing. the fact of deep down id rather be a better person but it bugs me i cant afford the fancy clothing, even in our society how we hype up to the idea then it comes to play and no one seems to stay like whatever happened to kony we live amungst phoneys saying their better only to better their pride and maybe to impress a futer bride collecting money only green in there eyes envious of those that accumulate wealth but seem to be blind to those who have nothing pushin it off to someone who has more to give now tell me again wat gives u a greater right to live over the young women even children forced into *** but u need to spend ur check on a fancy rolex because ur life is complex now im not saying im better though i have been gifted with my life but in my heart i still cry everynight because were on borrowed time ive seen people distroy themselves in hate a freind in grade 9 became addicted to******* now shooting ****** in his vein his leather jacked stained skin n bones calling on the phone for his next fix my mom with her slit wrists pretending i dont exist  now is that enough emotion for u after all im still just a kid.

The darkness that shattered her world was left behind. Ashes to forget, memory lost in the wind of no rewind
She finally took the narrow path towards a new life. Today, she stands so tall and bright. No one can bring her down, solid as a rock. There's no turning back.

Selfless, relentless to fear
Everything that mounts to heights of frights, she's the warrior. Inferior to nothing. Candors of cadence impossible to break. Her heart made of mettle steel, nothing can make her falter.

All phobias are mundane
Except for one. That's when she met him at edge of the unexpected.
He sits at the rooftop alone everynight. Smiling to himself as he gazed into burst of constellations brimming with life.
"Is this love at first sight?", she thought
Past of men that broke her,
made her who she is today.
But this boy with a smile that could break her Titanic's Ice,
made her vulnerable.
With a smile that could break
the ice in her temple.

The power he illuminates
can set her eyes on fire.
Her fast beating heart is jumping out
Thoughts scribbling every night,
'This is going to be a mess,
I can't decide'

He closed his eyes, feeling the euphoria flowing inside.
The chimes and the chill of wind are all he can hear. He slowly touched
his chest and feel the bliss
As he opened his eyes,
a scintillating star in his sight.
Their eyes didn't meet, yet,
He glances back without her knowing tilting his head to the left, as she watched him from her window.
He was falling and sinking into her ocean eyes. Each glance makes him drowned and drawn deeper to her.

Yesterday was a blur, tomorrow is a vivid life. Within her is starting to tear with fear. Prayers of hope she will win and take the climb. She wants to grab the chance and be happy for once in her life.*

Both having the intent to speak.
Both prepared to make the first move
But bartered smiles was all it took
Heart's stolen, melting ice
They somehow knew this love will last..
Forever.

Oh little girl, lost at sea
Won't you please come back to me
Everyday I search the shore for prints made to fit your feet
Everynight my heart emits a warm, loving glow to lead you across the cold, salty deep
Hopelessly I sit, letting my tears douse the fire of the sand
Beautiful brown eyed girl, how long must I wait for you to come take my hand
I am beginning to think you forgot about your lunar eyed mate
No matter, I shall wait happily on the bay, until my funeral date

as i'm laying down tonight
i think of how exhausting it is to wash you off my fingers
even if it's not like i ever get to hold your hand
or touch you, for that matter.
but everynight i have to wash your essence off my fingers
like trying to get rid of gasoline but always ending up
setting myself aflame. and that despite
knowing how dangerous and hazardous that **** could be
you just couldn't stop because you love the smell of gasoline
that fills up your lungs like pumps of adrenaline
right before the stench of your own burning flesh
chokes you to death. most nights, i wash you off like paint.
you can tell that i'm trying to forget what
i bled after your face appeared on the plain canvass
when my hand automatically reaches up and
perfectly colors your lips, and i couldn't help
but resemble them to pastel pink petals
of the roses growing in royal gardens
and i know i'm fooling everyone
making them believe that such expertise
is achieved because
your bottom lip have felt my gentle stroke when i
don't even know how your lips would feel when they quiver
under a curious and longing touch.
so i watch the colors spiral down the drain.
i watch my hands brush against each other
so intensely, trying to scrub the paint gone even
if it won't go away. even if the blood is clean.
even if i look clean.
how can loving you secretly be ever clean?
i'm scared it will never go away.
i am a painter in my own sense, capturing a glimpse
of something so intoxicating and aesthetically forbidden
then turning it into something tangible.
this is how painters show that their hearts
collapse with just a name
with just a glance not meant for their way.
and they paint what little of the hope
that shouldn't have been there in the first place
and every night. every single night they would aim
tirelessly to turn it into something they could allow.
something that could exist not only in my head.
something that i can call mine even if you
don't know that i am yours
and i knew this because your face
have begun to fill every blank wall
in my ******* house and i wonder how it is
possible to fall in love with someone the whole world
believes you shouldn't.
they say that when we turn our hands into fists
it is the size of our hearts.
and sometimes after the long hours of painting
i wash my paint-stained hands clean of
an abstract myriad of yellow and blue and black
and red. red for blood. red for love. red for fire.
i wash my paint-stained hands
turning them into fists
so maybe, just maybe
it will be the same
as getting rid of the colors off my young broken heart.
colors for you.
yet i always end up washing them off
with ******* gasoline.
and you still dare to call me 'smart'

and waiting and everything
in everyway, and everyday,
and everynight, waiting
seems
like a movie playing on an IMAX screen
and I'm the character in every scene,
and it all looks so plastic, oddly idyllic,
a situation drastic, I live in,
feeling like a dream,
nothing seems solid, no gravity,
just me
alone but with people doing their rounds,
the only thing missing
are the clowns.
that like to juggle in your dreams,
but the scream,
are not monsters or ghosts,
just real live old people,
dying in streams,
and every minute taking me away,
and leaving no trace
just me erased,
for all intents and
purposes.,
lonely, awaiting and cursed.

_
can't wait for it to be over soon

She laid on stained sheets
that were once pure white,
desperate for love she gave her body away everynight,

With mascara running down her face,
on the floor she laid in the same place,  she didn't sleep in the bed unless it was for a ***** deed,

Soon a gentle touch awoke her from where she fell asleep,
A kinda touch that the soul feels so deep,
She looked up to his face
from his feet,
and
saw that his expression was sweet,
He took her body in his arms,
She couldn't walk from the ******
harm,

Then she felt shame when she realized, JESUS was His name,
In his arms she began to weep,
But he reassured her that he
was in her heart for keeps,

She could not express joy and peace,
after all, not after all of her sins,

She couldn't figure out...
how she ended up in the arm's of
The Prince of Peace,

She was made pure and clean,
White as a mountain snow scene,

God is great,
Kneel before it's too late,
Let Him heal you're wounds and scars, His love shines better than all the stars.

Sometimes
I feel numb
I don't know why
It just washes over me
One minute I'm laughing
The next I'm staring blankly at the wall

I've convinced my myself that I do this on purpose, chanting in my head every Night
I want to be depressed and numb
That I want to cry myself to sleep everynight
After i've purposley forced myself to create a river of blood flowing down my Arm

I do think I do this on purpose

When you've been sad for as long as I have
Wouldn't you?

its been two long years since you were released
but know in my heart i could never blaime you in the least
we were a tourchured family to never find love
but this is what either dreams or hate can be made of

even when i saw your eyes roll back and the blood on the knife with your marijuana pipe so black from the residue packed
you cut till your arms were just red
then smoked enough to leave a teenage stoner in bed

i dont blaime you for either, you were hurt and you needa cope
but was tradeing the love of your ******* son worth that ****
you were my mother, supposed to hold and love me
but i found myself being yelled at thinking im just unlucky

still i guess i could of looked for love from my father
but he was to busy showing love to his two daughters
i was to dumb, couldnt sing a song, to him i ddnt belong
so you ignored my exsistance for many long years till it braught me to tears

but where are we now after i lived a long 18 years
dad look your oldest daughter left and your youngest you only hear hate underneath the tone of her breath
so i guess im all you have left to bail you out this mess you left

so now to watch over these two as if they were as delicate as children, they have only me to watch over them as my  mom bleeds and my dad cant breath the weight of debt needs to be repaid i dont know what else but you will regret how you treated me when im gone one day

momma maybye i just want you to stop with the drugs

looking everywhere just trying to find a buzz

till you look at your son amd forgot who he was

tired of goin to bed everynight to never sleep

keeping one eye open in case i have to call n emt

nearly watched you die remember that moment and i still ****** cry

so i lay with a knife to my throat livin a lie knowing i jus wanna die

so this is my last birthday song remember when i saw love in your eyes now im jus tryin to get by

if the moon fell down tonight,
i swear to you my dear,
i'd spend my last few minutes
dreaming you were here.
we'd lie in bed together,
your hand upon my cheek
as the world goes cold, oxygen fades
and our bodies; they grow weak.
we'd hold each other tightly,
drifting into space.
if the moon fell down tonight, i vow
to spend the last few minutes
staring at your face.

you're the only light,
and the only warmth,
i've ever needed anyway.
if the moon fell down tonight, my love
i pray you'd come, and that you'd stay.
but if the moon stayed tonight,
up there in that sky,
i'd do what i do everynight;
i'd lay in bed and cry.

Jazz history teacher scattin about
swing
Now, war on drugs (****)
wait, kansas city night clubs

Territorial Deviants howl the blues
dragging themselves bar to bar to jam

Teach has jeans and a black long sleeve
shows off his impressive gut

27th and manhattan, playin for pete
everynight bald head shinin
bass thumpin, saxophone whinin
count bessie, chick webb, rotating stage

Bothersome lesbian

I look out the window
Into the yard
I see a fluffy Junco
Sitting comfortably on the fence

I see him look around
Then fly over to the feeders
I watch as he gets some seeds
Then goes back to the fence
He puffs back up
And then out of nowhere
A baby Junco
Crookedly and excited
Flies in
Sits next to his dad
And his dad feeds him
And then his dad is off again
To get more food
For his baby

Over the weeks
I watch the Goldfinches,
The Grosbeaks, the Finches,
The Doves, and
The Sparrows.
All gathering on the fence
With their families
To eat
And I am reminded
Of my family
Gathering around the dinner table
Everynight
Chattering, coming and going
But then I think
That those birds must have it far easier
Than we do
All they worry about is surviving
While we have discussions on
Politics, school, wars
Gossip, rumors, things of unimportance

That's when I think back
To my childhood dream
“I want to be a bird when I grow up”
Because they are worry free
Unlike me

I see you everynight
just like a star
so beautiful and bright
But so far
You're right next to my heart
Right next to the moon
Once again,
Hope to see you soon

How can I be better,
when i fall from the sky everynight.

How can I fly,
if this anchor keeps on dragging me
down into the sea.

How can I be strong
when my bones look firm and crystal,
nothing but only made of glass.

How can I deeply know
myself;

Why can't I be like
everybody else;

I was so so lost, so lost
that in a wilderness;
I had to lose myself.

Till death do us part,
those we vowed,
we both promised.

I stayed true to my words,
I loved you,
respected and cared for you,
I worshipped you.
Tore my heart out of my chest,
and gave it to you.
You were my life, my everything.

For you, as well, stayed true,
to those very vows, I wish you haven't said.
You lied, abused every word you 'promised.'
Tortured everyday,
kicked, punched, pushed everynight,
you yelled and insulted at every phonecall.

You stabbed me.
Right where my love for you grew,
my beating heart,
wounded - on my ****** hands.

That very line,
did endure it's title.
Till death do us part,
and so it was.

Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide
With voices whispering from every side,
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide,
a futile resistance against the rising tide.

Thought after thought taunting my soul,
As this constant barrage takes its toll,
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole,
My mind going crazy and out of control.

I know not why I cannot rest,
Thoughts of random is all I possess,
A decent nights sleep, and I'll be blessed,
5 minutes and I'm unimpressed.

I always loose the fight to sleep,
I've counted every last ******* sheep,
Watched them 'baa' as they leap,
Watch them land in a heap.

I give up, I might as well,
Just leave my sleeplessness to dwell,
Bid my dreams farewell,
Cos everynight I'm met with hell...

This is all so new,
I can't think straight.
Seems too good to be true,
Could this really be a safe place to fall,
Does he know what he does to me?
I've tried so hard to keep my walls up,
But it's so easy for me to crash,
And just as easy to break.
He's in control of my heart.
I need this to work this time,
Just to keep me from falling apart.
I've fallen so hard.

If this is a mirage,
Then i never want it to fade.
This time it all makes sense.

I hate you for doing this to me.
So hold me and don't leave.
It's crazy how this all seems.
Because I want you to love me,
And i need you to trust me.
Confused and scared,
I'm terrified of you.
What have you done?
You've turned me into a stranger,
So you've won.
I've been here too many times before,
Now just tell me that it's all alright.
That everything you said wasn't a lie,
When you love me please don't leave me.
And if it's true,
I'll stay with you everynight,
I love you
For the rest of my life.

You know what i want....more than anything? is to hear the words "Babe,you are all i need" from the lips of that special human being.I want that feeling of what is it...... "meant to be?" ..... i want to tell you i love you...you know like...past the moon. I want your lips on mine and i cant lie.... i want them soon. I'll make love to you everynight as if it were our honeymoon and you can bet while im making love to you.... im playing your favorite tune......you see the miles id walk to meet the person that'll walk for me are ...infinity... but you know i have that feeling...true love doesnt exist...people are so quick to ....love and forget...that they often forget...something so delicate...Why are we here? you see i'll never give up on love....why? because it never gave up on me and i know for a fact that there is someone out there made just for me and if i have to wait i'll wait for eternity because i know for a fact that there is someone out there waiting for me !!

She prayed everynight when the sun went down
I grew up with Mama on her knees
She'd kneel down beside me in her tattered old gown
Asking Jesus, to guide me, please

Daddy was gone before I turned three
The coal mines became his grave
Mama held his picture as tight as could be
And told of the love he gave

She'd sit with the bible and read everynight
As I listened to every word she read
She died Easter morning, before it got light
As I knelt beside her bed

She taught me what love was supposed to be
Though sometimes, life could get rough
When Daddy got killed, it just left us three
And that was always enough

I'll always remember her tears when she'd pray
As she prayed so fervently
I knew that somehow it would all be okay
Just Mama, Jesus and me