Sometimes
I feel numb
I don't know why
It just washes over me
One minute I'm laughing
The next I'm staring blankly at the wall

I've convinced my myself that I do this on purpose, chanting in my head every Night
I want to be depressed and numb
That I want to cry myself to sleep everynight
After i've purposley forced myself to create a river of blood flowing down my Arm

I do think I do this on purpose

When you've been sad for as long as I have
Wouldn't you?