i blew a candle
and wished happiness for everyone
except myself
carm cerdan Mar 2
i want you to know
that i'm sad
but i'm afraid
you'll leave me
after seeing this
much wreckage.

i used to have
lungs for breathing
but now they're cathedrals
of the echoing air
i don't want to
breathe in any longer

i used to have
a heart that lived
but now is filled
with sand and poison
i wonder how
i could still feel
my heartbeat

so if you don't mean it

don't tell me you love me
don't admire the
hand painted ceilings
starting to peel off
because it's still "goddamn beautiful"

stop calling me beautiful at all.
stop seeing the ocean in my eyes.
stop kissing me as if
you feel resurrected everytime
i whisper your name on your lips.

and please
if you don't mean it
don't put your head on
my chest
and tell me
you've never heard
of anything more
magnificent and
a l i v e
ha look at that idk where this came from i'm not even in a romantic relationship but whatever i hope this resonates with someone at least lol this is for u
carm cerdan Feb 21
i hold the pen with familiar longing
but unlike a child, or a maiden filled
with youth - i did not gush within contact.
instead my hand trembles,
not with fear but with the impact of
memories resonating through time.
i remembered how i used to be me
a person i know but don't understand
as if a stranger i see everyday but
whose name i still don't know
despite the fact that we've smiled at
each other maybe once or twice.
the person i was before was not that nice
neither is the person i see now
on mirrors and people's eyes when i
stare too hard because i don't recognize
i was a planet, now a comet
i was a wanderer, now lost forever

yet i feel human and alive
there's so much to do, so much to see

but for the mean time i want a fragment of me.

so, let me write again.
let me say my name.
it's time to return home. it's time to return to poetry.
carm cerdan Feb 16
i would do anything
to have your lips stutter my name
let your words grasp my hand
watch your eyes search for mine.

to wait for you is impossible yet divine
when we exist in places
so far from where we are destined.

we are parallel lines

i would do anything
for us to be a painting instead
i'd color you in hues of unrequited love
and put us on a frame
i'll give it to you and say

'keep it. keep us. keep me'


'because we are so much more than just parallel lines'
finally found the inspiration to write again. i believe sorrow brings out the poet in everyone.
carm cerdan Jan 1
the fireworks made me
see the word 'alive'
they said people like me
couldn't feel things
but i did that very night
the page was flipped
we embark on time
maybe this year 'round
we'll do it right
but darling, did the fireworks
make you feel alive too?
make you feel hope
make you want to explode
make you want to be beautiful
make you want to stay
make you scream
make you smile
make you stare
and say 'hey, look at that,
i made it through again."
made a cheesy poem about new year xx wishing u all the beeeest <3
carm cerdan Nov 2017
morning lights peeks through the door
i walk across the screaming floor
not mindful of the blood that drips
nor obvious to the pain that seeps
into the crimson carpet of despair
i wonder how darkness got there
the door showed no signs of entry
yet last night the bottles weren't empty
i like to think that these kind of days
are something i'm not really meant to face
maybe one day it will all cease
let not that day be when i shall decease
for i wish to live life so unlike now
yet my mind violently demands how
the rooms here rattle as i walk across
synchronized not to life's ability to pause
and how it makes you feel like you're gone
or maybe in two places instead of one.
i want to post a poem today but i really can't think of a title. help me, maybe?
carm cerdan Nov 2017
we loved each other
with a love too catastrophic
and consuming
for mere teenage vessels
to carry.

it was too demanding
required too much thinking
made us bleed
without flinching

our hearts were baby birds
being forced by this magnitude
of feelings to jump
without knowing how to fly.

our hearts were still
starting to learn
how to love -
and it was too early.
it was too strong.
it was too high.
and babe,
we were too young.
not relevant to my life, but something i know a lot of teens go through
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