"anesthetized" poems
Kindness glides about my house.
Dame Kindness, she is so nice!
The blue and red jewels of her rings smoke
In the windows, the mirrors
Are filling with smiles.
What is so real as the cry of a child?
A rabbit's cry may be wilder
But it has no soul.
Sugar can cure everything, so Kindness says.
Sugar is a necessary fluid,
Its crystals a little poultice.
O kindness, kindness
Sweetly picking up pieces!
My Japanese silks, desperate butterflies,
May be pinned any minute, anesthetized.
And here you come, with a cup of tea
Wreathed in steam.
The blood jet is poetry,
There is no stopping it.
You hand me two children, two roses.
31.3k
**Unprecedented poetry,
newfangled conception in
idiosyncratic transparency
perceived by the hierarchy
to be the garb of peons,
thine command accepts nothing
less than the likes of sonnets
penned deliberately archaic
in Old English tradition,
figurative language
of the huddled masses
is strictly forbidden,
contradicted,
ostracized,
anesthetized
and possible grounds
for poetic eradication**
Jun 12, 2015
Jun 12, 2015 at 8:06 AM UTC
***Creatively enticing,
profoundly sensual
boundlessly experienced,
cryptically presumptive
inordinately exclusive
effusively lavished,
anesthetized or blatant
allusive beyond ethereal,
metaphorically inferred
criminal insanity
disquiet midst agitation,
peaceably surrendered
illustriously polished
or indubitably raw
fruitful to a fault - -
in reciprocity's glory be
quenches thirst,
satiates a hunger
flourished midst ink's
designed grandeur,
poetry never fails to thrive,
tripping the light fantastic
in its exuberant offering***
Seize the power
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 7:22 AM UTC
Rather I did, once. No longer.
We were magnetic, tectonic.
Constantly and consistently converging.
Unfolding.
Seamlessly (it would seem) arranged on
Memory's golden stage.
But today, tomorrow,
Where moves are flimsy and unsure
Lines drop from lips in silence,
Unraveling like gauze,
As we both wait for alarums that cannot sound.
I feel anesthetized, don't I? I—
And the curtain will be merciful.
A breath of disdain perhaps, disastrous.
Your touch is autumn.
I eclipse the sun, suffocate you from it.
Take your warmth.
Leave you colder than Ophelia
And bloodier than Brutus.
My inadequacy was once your balm,
A catechism to ensure another world
That we both know isn't sound.
The very least you can do is become like Icarus
Who was beautiful in his fall
And silent at his end.
Feb 23, 2010
Feb 23, 2010 at 6:21 PM UTC
Hipnotized
Suffering,smashing,sneaking
Kept all alone in the dark
Loosing power
without noticing
Pain,
Begging,pleasing,praying
To stop torturing
Falling to pieces
******
Smooth,sweet crime
Adorable feeling
Cold serial killer
Giving up for destiny
Blood took away his mind
He couldn't stop
This is new kind of ******
"Blood addiction"
Going nowhere but hell
The voice of thunder
hearing it rumble
Remaining,lasting,enduring
Immortal
Undying thoughts
Bringing death to life
Feel the earth moving
Like a earthquake
Didn't want to kill'em
Irresistible
Anesthetized
Under the soul of ghosts
Upheaval of a mad man
Let's play a game ?
Who **** the other first ?
Residual
Calling hell
Depressed , timeless
Percipient the lies
Wrotten, spoken
Buried with her owner
Secrets stayed secrets
Unknown and untold.
Forgotten memories
Neurogical
Died
Between past and present
Nov 30, 2013
Nov 30, 2013 at 7:10 AM UTC
Today
I am heavily
Medicated
Isolation
Is tantamount
To happiness
Feb 15, 2014
Feb 15, 2014 at 6:41 PM UTC
I'm beginning to wonder if the sensation in my fingers will ever return.
maybe its like writers block.
perhaps only temporary...
but some people can have writers block for years, maybe even a lifetime.
Bilateral broken wrists.
What the **** does that mean?
Day 1:
I woke up in the hospital, my only concern was my precious forty dollar jeans.
"Aaliyah your back is broken."
Day 3:
Post surgery, heavily anesthetized
"Mom I want to be on American Idol."
*starts to sing in the recovery room"
Day 12:
I woke up and couldn't feel my right arm
Oh right they numbed my radial nerve!
It only lasts a few hours the said
Day 13:
My arm was still numb.
Lets, not fail to mention that I also have my t12 removed and replace somewhere in the middle of all this.
I have several fractures in my lumbar.
Day 14:
I finally went home.
Four weeks later.
I cant feel my fingers.
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 7:41 PM UTC
I often forget how to write.
Not because I am happy,
and, as they say, happiness writes white.
Nor for any lack of sadness,
for, as I see, sadness is a bottomless ink well.
But for any wild and outrageous feeling,
any like spirit who possesses my hand to start --
with awesome, judging faces sliding on the ceiling,
icons of the mother and god-child
dripping down eternal blue and martyr red,
like arms hanging, waking, pinning!
"Woman, behold your son!"
Behold me, my THC and psilo-sin life,
an endlessly whirling maelstrom of emotion!
flanked by monstrous, winged choirs of Motown
slinging fiery spears, gold rays penetrating!
"Oh, oh, God!" The Ecstasy of St. Philip!
Visions of horse-hung hosts and celestial orbs,
Heaven's dynamo, an **** of screws and cogs!
-- are hid.
I too watched the best minds of my generation,
anesthetized by sanity in a bottle
(id est: pills, pills, pills, pills, pills);
mesmerized by patterns of flashing lights
of digital desperation crying, "affirm me, friend me!" -;
drowned in an endless sea under a twilight of information
or else cats, cats, cats, cats, cats;
and ever afeard of mortal judgment.
“Big boys don’t cry” (so poets do in breathy meter).
A generation asleep
- and though in hopeful dream -
We are placid.
We work obedient.
We speak soft.
Because the whole world is medicated now.
Because the whole world is fixed.
And I wonder if there is a Spirit.
I think, if there is,
We have drugged her.
We have ravished her.
We have wasted her.
And the whole world is silent now.
And the whole world is fixed.
Sep 28, 2012
Sep 28, 2012 at 11:51 AM UTC
-Open
-To a man on the street; as he stands no shoes on his feet and his heart on his sleeve
-Call'em Andy
-Now he sees the smiles on their faces and mouths speaking phrases
-But he's frozen
-Anesthetized mind, body, and thought but the soul can never be caught
-On the contrary
-Unable to move or analyze; trapped in his mind but his eye works just fine
-Like Horus
-Cuz is only after the one, two, and three that the fifth can be freed
-Fourth
-"The worlds in chaos, the worlds on fire. The world will pay for its burning desire."
-Close
Sep 1, 2014
Sep 1, 2014 at 8:33 PM UTC
Quivering,
shivering
Cold as ice.
Numb,
unfeeling
anesthetized.
Unloved,
uncared
solitary.
Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012 at 12:06 PM UTC
From where they stood
She was a juvenile who needed detention
From where I stand,
I see a lost child seeking attention
From what they heard,
Her words were harsh and threatening
From what I hear,
She didn’t mean for her words to harm, it was a clear case of misunderstanding
From where they looked,
They saw a girl who was overweight and wasn’t easy on the eye
From where I look,
I see beyond her flaws, a loving lady whose deepest feelings have been anesthetized with lies
They said to her,
You are a waste of space, you voice is too husky and you lack technique
I wish I could say to her,
No one else can give the world what you have to offer, your voice is different and your style is unique
Now she feels she doesn’t have anything to live for,
They had assassinated her mentally and she was going to help them physically
She had carefully planned how she would execute her suicide
She was headed for doom ‘cause her fate she let them decide
Helplessly I watch from outside.
Locked out and powerless to put a stop to this
I watched her put the rope around her neck as I screamed and implored her not to.
If only she could hear me, she might have had a chance to see through my eyes that life was hers to live and enjoy, that she had every right to be happy, that she could dare to be different and it was okay for her to dream big dreams even if they never materialized
-r3d-
Sep 14, 2012
Sep 14, 2012 at 8:16 AM UTC
i am holding on too tightly
let me fall. let me let go,
let me feel let me hurt
i want that ache again
love ****** im a slave
to heartbreak, i wanna
seek out those kisses
that leave my lips burning
want that fire reignited
deep in my chest again
there's just a shell now
built up like a cage
protect me from harm,
so i thought, but no
it's not letting anything out
it's not letting anything in
and im done im done
with that i need to feel again
i need to be alive again
my heart needs to beat
again. love ****** slave
to comfort, too afraid
of passion, of losing control
so here i am, heart beats
in a cage, needles in my arms,
anesthetized, clinging
on too tight to what my life was
let me fall into the unknown now
before i push myself off this ledge
it's been no fun at all
let me feel
let me fall
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 12:55 AM UTC
i am roused by paltry gasps
in the furrow of my consternation--
dizzying, still,
is the puzzling weight of vacuity,
my shapeless existence
where the wind has blown the weakness from your heart
and you've settled like ceiling-fan dust;
invisible, i asphyxiate
in sultry bated breaths
like the acrid smoke that seems to leave your lips
so romantically,
so gleefully anesthetized
in our secret place
where we pollinate the emptiness,
legs sticky with desire
and rapt with a fleeting symbiosis.
we awaken in ambiguity,
the taste in my mouth
is your yesterday's heaving tongue.
little lamb, sad-eyed baby,
thrush with too much touch,
always leaving in that heavy-eyed hurry.
your sweater brushes against my face,
i smell the paint that's stained a cold and ringed finger.
my senses are frenzied and willfully discordant
until you open the front door
and dissolve away--
dissipate into the realness of the day.
in my vapidity, i wait.
i wait.
Oct 10, 2013
Oct 10, 2013 at 4:09 AM UTC
Fear is a constant friend for me in this old town,
It numbs, yet excites in the men's old tin drums.
Everything else runs away and hides in the imminent
twilight.
It keeps us old folk happy, and us young folk safe, even if I'm
anesthetized in street dances.
The love of your life is in that next building, honey, looking over his footprints for the future.
And if he's not it, live with it. Keep Him happy, so that you're safe.
Never stop fearing...
Love was never in the cards for any of us;
why would it happen for me? I wasn't any more than us.
A distant longing quenches a soul with doubts for only so long though
...making the white hum and breed black.
A lone sound amongst the silence with its soul thirsts for what has been hidden.
There's no sign of true life without something more, bigger than you and us.
How can there be, when true loss is unpredictable, our founders said.
It has already been spoken in a prophecy...
Perhaps, for me it is different, what then?
Do you pity me?
them? I do.
But there's something wrong with the little party I didn't plan, yet didn't cancel.
There were people overseas, beside you and me that have died for what I have been avoiding. Why?
Perhaps my own parade needs a little rain,
or a blazing hellfire to make way for the reality?
The transfiguration I've been dreaming for,
has watched me, and cried for me while I watched the town parade,
riding on my dad's shoulders.
But we have been anointed by the bravery and hope I've dreamed about when I saw us walk away.
We need to leave this ghost town,
where beasts of my blood roam the streets. Where fear
overtook me and mated
with me in an incestuous ceremony.
A true joining of true , lost ones
Created in the beginning to love
lost their way, found home
with the one and only
Reason, not to fear....a goodbye.
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 2:06 AM UTC
My eyes saw her
And my heart longed for her
And my lips wanted a taste
Of her seething venom
She was a cup
I didn’t want to pass
Without having a sip
That opened a flesh wound
Only she could nurse
Because it could never heal
And any one I’d ****
For her to be mine and mine alone.
On the drags ov the black wine
Brood from African matured raw dark vines
Bitter sweet and sedating like ecstasy
She anesthetized me
Leaving me numb
To the wound she had inflicted
Upon my heart of flesh,
When I let my
Shield down
And left her sizzling arrow
Piercing my heart
Like a thorn for the holy one
Her arrow inoculated a venom
That enfeebled my trembling frame
As I bled love unafraid of bleeding to death!
I looked deeply Into Her dark eyes
My vision impaired,
High from the venom
And partial hemorrhage.
I said slowly
“What is love? Tell me please…”
She smiled and replied…
“I can’t tell you,
I can only show you
Cuz you have prayed.
Love is a tourniquet
To your heart a wound
I can nurse it for you
That’s why it hurts
If you are wounded
By someone without skill
Some wounds never heal
But fear not
For my love is not lethal
And leaving you might be fatal,
Words can never be love
Only actions can be
Thoughts are useless
If never said or expressed
So don’t be afraid
I will nurse your wound
Because mine is deeper than yours”
Aug 1, 2018
Aug 1, 2018 at 6:14 PM UTC
I want love
Just as bad as the next person...
But I want a love that can heal--
a love that can fuse together
the shattered and tarnished bits
and make me whole again.
I want a love that electrifies,
amplifies. a love that exemplifies
beauty and truth.
So done being stuffed full of lies,
demonized, anesthetized.
I want feeling, I want meaning.
I need love.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 10:43 PM UTC
Her deep brown eyes were now achromic
I craved her love but she was bent on straight needles. Constantly needing reminders that she's still human and can feel, still putting up barriers between her and her evils. Seeing the man up on the steeple she knows her attempts are feeble
Constantly misguided by the Christian belief that acceptance was key to the question of "am I worth it"
We use to talk but now you're aphasic
She was in a dreamland where voices were something to be tasted she was so anesthetized from these pills that were prescribed to help her dream but nothing could be prescribed to help her wake
It was like seeing the sun go away but not being replaced by the moon
I was just hoping it was a phase that would pass and she would return without a trace of the past but this hope was as empty as these bottles
These feeling so corrupted
These words so unheard
Like a wolf howling only to be answered by a vacant night
And it doesn't matter how much I beg and fight
She tightens her grip on her defenses like the band on her arm
But still leaving her defenseless to her emotions
That might as well be where she is 6 feet under a pile of broken dreams and wondering beams of support that holds up her house of sanity with a vanity of broken images of who she hates the most.
She's caught between a lake of fire and limbo, on a tipping scale one once from destruction
I know I can't bring the sun back but maybe I can find a new light in this darkness.
Because she was something I always wanted more of
I twitch when I wasn't around her
I would get the shakes from just one kiss
I would get drunk off her smile and high off her words
We both overdosed on something
Because this love .... was never labeled a drug.
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 1:56 AM UTC
You carried the scent of a heavy summer rainfall with you
everywhere you went,
dropping hurricanes from your pockets for strangers
who have only known spring showers.
I didn’t know it was possible to fall in love with a storm.
Every time your cloudless eyes met mine
I felt a swell in the back of my throat,
as if I had drank too much seawater and you just kept staring
until I began to cough up the entire
Pacific Ocean.
You told me that this is what it meant to be with you,
to be with a nihilist.
You held other worlds on your fingertips
and slipped them under my tongue,
my blood becoming bellicose within it’s own veins.
The parabola of my pupils stretched until they became quasars,
I had never known energy like this before.
Your lips twitched into a most complacent grin at my lack
of self-possession as I writhed in the rapacious wake of the river.
Everything around me shimmered
with the light of 1,000 stars
and I heard centuries of music in your laughter.
I was a foreigner in a different world.
That night we made love with the intensity
of 50 lightning bolts striking an erupting volcano
and it was the first time you told me you loved me.
It was the only time you meant it.
We anesthetized each other so much
that you became insusceptible
while I became hypersensitive.
You carved kisses into my skin
and they were wonderful
but I was starting to bleed out.
But you couldn’t even feel my nails
as I tried to dig my way into your heart.
I had never wanted to live inside a person so badly,
but you can’t make homes out of people.
You can’t make homes out of addicts.
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 10:46 PM UTC
She lay there, features frozen
Telling a story
She was at rest, eyes wide open,
the moment glazed in time
Terror,
Fear,
Death,
Was a release, but never left whole
Always missing a part
But desecrated, as blooded words unfold
Love,
Doesn't,
Live,
Here,
Anymore,
The heart missing,
Life was cut out
Her heart no longer beats here anymore
What goes through a mind
Twisted,
Depraved,
Cold.
I am the Heart Breaker
Hear my story, as it must be told
I have never loved,
Feelings of
Tenderness,
Yearning,
Love,
Have never touched my heart,
It beats
But nothing is heard back
So I must take
What others Possess,
I look for those with love
I look for those
Hand
In
Hand
When they next wake
In my sanctuary
Unclothed
White covers, all except where
Love beats strong,
For I must
Devour,
Consume,
Be
Fulfilled,
She must breath till I consume
For a body that is cold
No love will survive,
Anesthetized
So I cut deep
Bone-Saw,
Scalpel,
Flesh,
Falls to the floor
Her larynx also muted,
Noise I could be without,
I cut gently rib is sawed
And there is what I need , my eyes gleam
Excitement,
Emotion,
Hysteria,
As I quickly hold it as it beats
And finally I
Gorge
Consume,
Satisfy,
The feeling of warmth
That enters me
I feel my heart beat not like before
This moment I feel love
As it courses through me
Then lost as
Blood goes cold
Now we are both with out what we need most,
I have your heart inside me
Like others before,
I must consume others love so that I feel whole.
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 6:03 PM UTC
Oh, cynic-
All those years of abridging the files left for you-
And whittling away at your own tusks-
To annex wild nerve and stove-top instinctivity-
Extemporising on an instrument that you actually did invent-
And then using it to pry open the kitchen window-
Asking the neighbor for a sword of keratin straight to the belt-
“It would show that I am, literally, made of (fitfully) lifeless halves.”
Anyway-
There’s that old-dresser where you stored plans of-
Delineating a white-white city for you to call home-
and then instructions to call it anesthetized due to it’s lack of horses-
Destroy it and all matter within a one-hundred mile radius of your current location.
I’m aware the end-product has cradled you since the first day you were alive-
but, it doesn’t anymore-
I do-
and I will not let my arms grow soar without affording them your recognition.
Dec 14, 2011
Dec 14, 2011 at 4:19 AM UTC
The wound
though old
and hence
looked closed,
the pain
it caused
was quite
obtrusive,
even after
all those
years, were
somehow
left behind,
oblivious of
the misery
it created.
Couldn't leave
it like that,
insistent pain
made to decide at last,
when it was
opened again
memories
sprayed out
copiously, like
dark, coagulated blood,
never before seen.
Then, fresh blood
started to ooze
as if reluctant
to close the wound,
unable to forget
emotions that are
made to sleep
anesthetized.
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 1:40 PM UTC
An encounter
that shook the stars
made them shoot across
the sky, urging lovers
to throw wishes
here and there
with no hope in mind
She time-traveled at his "hello"
he shook at her reply
what happened to the cosmos?
could they have re-arranged?
what magical power took over the Earth
to make gravity none-existent?
She felt weightless
but heavy with her past
he sweat out all his mistakes
or was his body too close to her sun
that he melted at her sight
He wanted to speak almanacs of his years past
but choked at the dense night sky
his lungs shrunk in capacity
his mind forgot the ability to verbalize
vocalize,
his mind forgot all sense of language
except that of none-verbal nature
She wanted to strangle him
with the chains that left marks on her heart
the wounds that she turned to beautiful tattoos
the pickled emotions she had left on that shelf
in a desolate basement
She wanted to give him a taste
of what "hurt" felt like back then
and how it morphed her into a beautiful
thick skinned creature, fearless of rollercoasters
who's highs are intoxicating and who's lows
are deadly
But..
He...
Her...
Hell visited Earth that day
all its fires burned all sense of logic
turned emotions to ashes
it anesthetized what drives the heart
into overdrive
The universe confused its laws of physics
gravity lost, oxygen reduced, weightlessness ruled
everyone was high
Something was wrong
it didn't feel like it was happening
She had her taste of inception
a dream within a dream within
a mind diluted with nothing but sobriety
how could this be?
He was speaking in intervals
cut with silences that caused earthquakes in meaning
intercepted with glares that burned the wildest of wild fires
Life you threw one hell of a curveball
that changed the orbit of her being
Turning her the other way
slowing down time
or so it felt
What the hell is happening
She has this under control
When her schizophrenic selves
came out to play
they failed miserably
She gawked at
his jittery hands
eyes
dilated with confusion
glazed with hesitation
filled with questions
surreal
ethereal
not happening
pinch me
Please
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 20, 2016 at 3:43 AM UTC
"...we have to stop being shocked and amazed....when men who are conquerors by nature also chase women....we as a society have got to become a little more anesthetized to this." Donny Deutsch
**Anesthetize your daughters, oh Mighty Men, novocaine their conquered *****
Man guided penises are upon their proverbial hunts!
They seek out your females; chase them from your arms
All at the damnable fault of their ineffable charms
Cast aside the garments you dress your girls within
Then forget the ravages of every single sin
And spread their arms to the world and let them hug it tight
While Weiners of every kind **** with all their might
Puritans are the trouble, religion the rapist’s friend
Bend your daughters over, they’ll get it in the end.
And Natalie, when you are finally through
With this unsavory interview
Lift up your dress and spread your knees
And maybe, just maybe, we will ask you please.**
'and if you were caught with your pants down literally and figuratively, come clean.'
upon the face of every woman you have ever seen.
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/kyle-drennen/2011/06/09/nbc-puritanical-americans-must-become-anesthetized-sex-scandals
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM UTC
I’ve been watching for some time
From afar the deep and low valley
Watching the leaves fall
Of what hope they can rally
For not ray nor beam
Nor excitement I seek
Only the bejeweled recluse with the golden hair
The blue eyes and tongue abounding, yet meek
A beauty not to sever
From the mountains of my youth
Against all attempt
My failed past endeavor
To bring those impartial arms closer to my own
But, alas, she proved far too clever
And escaped, perpetually I bemoan
And where you took leave
Still spurns the suture
Dark blood freshly drawn
I bleed for another, though soul turned to pewter
And I stumble weakly like invalid fawn
The gauze did atone
Anesthetized my brooding
Until the reclaimed throne
Did sanctify its queen
Too little, too late
A penance not paid
Impatience could at surface readily sate
And showed me in acetic recollection
My folly not to wait
But, escaped your grace, my grubby hands though groped
And words did not flow forth as I had hoped
Simple gesture; a wave or two
And the separation broadened again, same as the first time I left you
But, I’ve been watching for some time
The creeks and the crags
Knowing the leaves will always return
And the fawn thus wanes to mighty stag
In hopes for a band of our own from the pitch of time discerned
I fashioned this life for you
And encircled you in my mind
That what persona I do beget
I was just hoping for you to find
A poor choice for but one of many
An ill-conceived and hasty plan
All done for you, my beauty
Planning for a future
Before it even began
And now, after I’ve waited for what feels like millennia
These clipped wings refuse to span
And this valley wracks me with mania
Spirits sink with the sun
Ink drips from the vein
Turn to verse written in vain,
Smears through the valleys
Like eloquent stains
An escape from memory, dazzling and dun
But the valley vast, maw is wide
Too far, too unwilling to outrun
The Beautiful, the flitting
Inescapable Morgan.
Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013 at 7:27 PM UTC
Anesthetized and scoured clean, my mind reflects these halls
Of almost-forgotten ***** spills and madness within these walls.
Artificial sleep,
Restless, blood-shot pits;
Reflections, dark and hollow,
Echo visions in raving fits.
This place is said to heal - return sanity from whom it's fled:
Ammend the twisted, save the wretch, cauterize what's bled.
Oct 3, 2016
Oct 3, 2016 at 3:06 AM UTC