"agonize" poems
My name is Taylor and I have a tooth that tucks behind one of my front teeth.
I say this as my first sentence because when I look at myself in the mirror and smile, that is the first thing I notice.
But a compliment I've heard more times than once, "You have a beautiful smile."
I wonder how many things in life are like that...
Qualities or characteristics that people agonize over are the very things that others appreciate and admire.
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 7:48 AM UTC
I can no longer disguise
Contempt in my eyes
The lows and the highs
It is you I despise
Heart no longer complies
While your heart denies
It’s me you chastise
Deceitful demise
There’s no compromise
I agonize
While you apologize
But my love I surmise
It’s fossilized
And I've normalized
What you’ve minimized
Gone are my cries
I’m numb from your lies
Like this I will die
Sep 18, 2025
Sep 18, 2025 at 9:35 PM UTC
Honesty:
The quality of being honest
Look at me directly in the eyes
Before you lie
When you agonize
And dramatize
I will analyze
And
I will realize
And
Recognize
I will not empathize
I will brutalize
So I would not jeopardize
Integrity:
The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles
With dignity
Empathy
Without enemies
Ethically
No jealousy
Purity
Seeing objectively
Respectively
Never causing unpleasantries
The two go hand and hand
Not
Separately
!!
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 8:58 PM UTC
Monica,
she said her name was.
Of course I didn't believe her,
but it wasn't important.
What was important,
when she met me
with a cheery professional
smile
at the window
in the waiting room
of Anfu Massage,
was that she was
willing
to take me by the hand
and lead me
down the very dim corridor
into a dimly lit room
with a bed
where she and I shared
an hour of
******
pleasure.
She made me feel
like a great lover
and gave me her best
imitation of passion
so skillfully
that I believed,
because I wanted to,
for that hour
that I was
making love
to my lover.
I used to agonize
and feel guilty about it,
but in this solitary
autumnal season
of my life,
haunted
by the ghosts
of loves lost,
I am grateful
for even this
sweet counterfeit.
And, yes
I revel
in her gentle feminine
warmth,
her softness,
and in the primal
connection
we make.
Somehow, it
feels like
it is keeping my heart
alive.
Jan 11, 2011
Jan 11, 2011 at 8:28 PM UTC
Grasping the wisps of dreams
Longing for the scent of hope
Chasing the ghost of whims
Gray clouds storm in as dreams shatter
the shards of glass cutting deep
with only pain as my friend.
No blood.
Just the numbing pain,
until I can no longer feel
The dull pain of what was
or what could have been.
Fighting that will to scream
or to agonize.
To fall on the ground for a demon
To imagine anything from then
Would that be weak?
To chase a ghost.
To chase the wisps of dreams.
To long for smoke.
y.k.
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 7:58 PM UTC
Down in the depths of the hole, there's no sound but the beat of my heart
And my dark charred thoughts
That drip like black oil
That everything it touch's, it stains and soils
Thoughts of death and gruesome memories
From them there is no where to flee
So I lay in the bed curled into a tight ball
Just waiting to hit the bottom of the fall
There is no one to talk to, no one to call
No one knows how this inky darkness flows
How it consumes the soul and continues to grow
I'm imprisoned in theses bones, this skin
Is this how the end begins
I've prayed for love and light
But I've only been given glimpses of that site
Any happiness I have fought for is snatched away
In just a short few days
So now I pray
For death and a shortening of my years
To live a long agonize life is my fears
Not one month goes by that tragedy doesn't strike
It's like trying to get through life on a trike
You pedal really really hard but get no where
To tell the truth I just don't care
I want to become totally unaware
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 12:35 PM UTC
"Not good enough."
"Your annoying."
"Don't be a ***** up."
"Do it or end up a failure."
To them they are words.
To me they are a gunshot,
To my brain,
To my heart.
Meaningless nonsense to others
Is an all too real battle cry to me.
I hear the cannons in my head.
I panic,
So I run.
And I never stop.
I cry,
I scream,
I hurt,
I hit,
Until I can't run anymore.
Until I fall and fail.
"You should be nervous."
"This does not cut it."
"God, your slow."
"Didn't meet my expectations."
If they are meaningless to you
Why aren't they meaningless to me?
I've been stabbed with a sword
And the commands cry out,
"Do Something, Your Pathetic!"
I hear the cannons in my head.
I panic,
So I run.
And I Never Stop.
I bleed,
I sob,
I agonize,
I grieve,
Until I can't run anymore.
Until I fall and fail.
I may fall,
But I never stop,
No rest.
The cannons are never too far away to hear.
So I pick myself up once more.
I am a one man army.
So I run.
And I Never Stop.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 5:28 PM UTC
The Pill
Called up big Pharma,
Sad and depressed,
I told them straight out:
Dudes, I need a new karma.
*NO problem they cheerfully replied,
(later I wondered, which pill they were on)
We custom make, haute couture, drug-design,
Mood enhancers, in little canisters,
You need only supply the cash and the system vascular!
Your soul's desire?
To be a better wilder, rambler,
Or a life calmer, better anchored?*
I know what I want, exactly,
A pill that removes
Specific words
From the frontal lobe temple
Verbal storage center.
*NO problem! (so cheery it was kinda scary)
Which words would you like to have
Exorcised, annihilated, irradiated, confiscated?*
I list from below, from side to side,
Let not one be denied,
Bury them all in nether-lands,
Swamp them under mountains of
Granite and sand,
Banish them from my lexicon.
How much do you charge?
But one dollar per word.
The list I emailed complete,
Herein I reprint.
Scars Pain Wound Strain Torture Anguish
Disfigure Damage Mar Mutilate Maim Blemish Deface Damage Ruin Distress
Afflict Trouble Wound Torment Agonize Sad Suffer Sting Throb
Torture Torment Despair Suffer Distress Hurt Vex Trouble
Ache Hurt Misery Woe Bitterness Misery Agony Bitter
Heartache Afflict Hurt Cut Loathing Shatter Broken
Alone Bleed Struggle Self-destruct Monster
Nightmare Cornered Darkness Horror
Loner Confused Goodbye Suicide
Slash Cut Desolate Submerge
Dissipate Dead Stinking
Enough.
Awaiting my concoction sweet,
When an answer they begat,
A response forthcoming, indeed was snubbing!
**Dear Sir/Madam,
We regret to inform you that we are unable to manufacture
Said item. Removal of these words would be a violation of
Federal Poetry Laws.
Sadly yours,
Big Pharma
P.S. Are you the author of "Yo! Yo! Warning: the government is reading your poetry! (Metadata Mining This Site) on HP?"**
P.P.S. Please do not contact us anymore.
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 1:53 PM UTC
I have a problem, you see.
I own objects like blankets
I cannot sleep without,
Headphones 4 inches thick
To cancel the noises that
Wake up every nerve in my body
That make me shake and bite my nails
I own stubs for fingers
With cuts and chewed skin.
They run across my forehead
To stop the thoughts from occurring.
I count,
Correct the other side
When someone touches my skin.
I make sure every first letter
In the next line of poetry
Is capitalized,
Cause that's a rule.
I agonize over small things
Because as a kid,
No one helped me.
I was too nervous to play in the hose
Or turn on the shower
Because my family would drown.
The ritual began even then.
At 6 I could not play baseball
Because in the outfield
I would tic and make my nose bleed.
I can't even breathe without
Bothering this disease.
One lung does not fill up like the other,
And I get dizzy.
I have a scar on my forehead
From completing this ritual for years.
I fear
And feel.
Why do I fall victim to this disease?
God, I would pray but my hands can hardly
Touch each other without the horrible feeling.
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 10:33 PM UTC
Precious gem,
Gleaming so gallantly.
Streaming light into streets.
Luminescent gem,
Containing Dragon souls.
Shining on her neck,
Breathing fire down on the world.
Precious gem,
Agonize thy souls.
Never to be free again.
In this human world.
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 19, 2014 at 1:14 PM UTC
people like you, sir,
agonize my feminist
sensibilities.
May 13, 2012
May 13, 2012 at 8:15 PM UTC
Oh how a rotted home aches.
Floorboards agonize,
their faces betray
a life's frozen mirth.
A shattered window,
caked in cobweb
calls to her daughter in the wind.
Footprints erased by dust.
Photographs wilted and grey.
Oh how a rotted home aches.
Apr 16, 2022
Apr 16, 2022 at 1:53 AM UTC
When a friend forgets,
the world crashes around you.
When a friend forgets,
you feel despair brew.
When a friend forgets,
joy into sorrow turns.
When a friend forgets,
your insides agonize and burn.
When a friend forgets,
Life seems unfair.
When a friend forgets,
you no longer can bear.
For it was that very friend,
whose shoulder was yours, to cry on.
That very friend
who made dusk seem like dawn.
That very friend who held your hand.
The very friend who helped you float to land.
From the very depths of distress
the one who helped overcome all stress.
Today that support, my sole strength is amiss.
What can I do to try and erase this?
All I can do is hope and pray
while trying my best to keep the tears at bay.
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 11:26 AM UTC
I try to act like my ideal. That guy I want to be in my head. But no one tells that guy that walking along alone hurts more than anything. That not caring about what people think about me makes me care so much more. That now that I have a perfect person to be like, anything less makes me feel worse. My ideal me, what a concept. I wonder if he agonizes over everything his friends say. Does he agonize over being alone? Seeing all his friends start to get into relationships and be happy? Seeing all his friends leave together leaving him to fight university alone? Does he know that that decision was his fault? Does he even care? Why would he. I'm the shadow of a great man, if only in my head.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 9:23 AM UTC
The streets, plain
The scenery, new but unchanged
The city, now black and white
The candle that failed to ignite
The crisp morning air
The usual affairs
The same unheated ground
Then there was a faint sound
The leaves started to sway
There was a presence of warm sun rays
The grass and flowers danced
The prospect, enhanced
All because my ears have found
A vaguely familiar and new sound
An enamoring explosion of melody
An enthralling harmony
A beguiling musicality
An enslaving euphony
A perfect array of notes
Flowing with a hypnotic coat
A piercing tune
Resembling a rune
It's rhythm, throbbing
It's tempo, moving
The sound was too perfect and strong
That it seemed like a torturous song
Nonetheless, it was a beautiful beat
Beautiful enough to move my feet
What I heard was an alluring sound
That eventually made me slide through the ground
I closed my eyes and followed what I heard
Walking, searching, to clarify the blurred
The faint sound, grew louder
Eventually I was overpowered
While seeking for the source of the hymn
I turned into a willing victim
My feet have stopped moving
When I saw a man, the man who was playing
My eyes settled upon his silhouette
Which was in contrast to the sunset
There he was, sitting on a wooden stool
Unknowingly making all the listeners drool
His fingers fluttering atop black and white keys
Creating color through a musical breeze
I saw him, that man
Still playing, talking through his hands
I followed a sound and saw a pianist
And then my heart was kissed
Not because of the music that made my ears fuss
Not because he splashed paint all over the dull canvas
But because of how he looked at the instrument
It's as if, for the piano, his eyes were meant
How he gazed upon it with those eyes
As if the piano was his only prize
How he goggled the piano with those eyes
As if for that instrument he was willing to agonize
As if he can only see the piano
As if there was only him and the piano
It was that look that little girls dream of
It was that look that symbolized love
That look that little girls wished were for them
That look that would give little girls contemn
That look that was only for the piano
That look that was pure as snow
That look was colorful and honestly warm
That look that entrapped a celestial swarm
That look which was gentle and intense
That look which was passionate and immense
That look which was alive, painful and afraid
In that moment, I longed for a shooting star's aid
As if a little girl, I wished for what little girls wish for
I wished for him to look at me like that, nothing more
But none can compare with his instrument
Nor to the reason why he plays it with such intent
To the new girl he plays for
To the girl he currently adores
I hope his sound reaches you
I hope you listen and give him value
I hope you look at him as he plays for you
Look at him like how he looks at the piano when he thinks of you
Like how the crowd looks at him as he plays like this
Like how the little girls look like when they wish
Like how he used to look at the piano
When he misses and plays for the little girl, not too long ago
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 10:25 AM UTC
Escape into the darkness
The only place where you can hide
Close your eyes tightly and pretend you are fine
Shutdown your brain so you don't agonize
Hide till you no longer feel blue
Hide till you no longer see stars
Hide till the darkness takes over so you can't see your scars
Wait for the light to come back
Regret all your choices
Wait for a life time
Die alone in the darkness
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 7:25 AM UTC
i wonder what your name
looks like in my handwriting
if i weren't as shy as i am
i would have overcrowded a notebook
just of the way your i's are dotted
what frightens me is that
your hands don't agonize over my name
don't at least motion the symbols in the air
much less write them
and i wonder what my name
looks like in your handwriting
if you curl the e the same i would curl yours
or if you bestow your personal touch upon it
either way it would look beautiful
i would adore any name you'd write for me
i wonder what your name
looks like in my handwriting
but honestly i worry that
i cannot do it justice
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 12:47 AM UTC
We brush over beginnings,
But grasp them at the end
The ride itself is lost until
We slow ourselves again.
The essence of our stories
Are linear until
Loved ones take their final breath
And burning candles still.
Precious things and pointless
Birth lesions that won't mend
The thoughts through which we agonize
Take all our time to spend.
In silence, what is final
And all that's come to pass
Brings consciousness to what we are
When nothing good can last.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 10:21 AM UTC
A DESERT STONE WILL TURN TO GOLD
IN COMPANY WITH THOSE WHO KNOE
YOU ASK MY LOVE ABOUT MY TEAR
BUT DONT YOU RECOGNISE THE FEAR
THEY AGONIZE MY FEAR?
WERE NOTE YOUR INFIDILITY
TORTUNING ME SO CRUELLY
MY SORROW WOULD DEPERT
BY IKRAMULLAH JANI
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011 at 12:38 AM UTC
if the clock says eight-thirty-ache
or twenty-two tears to nine expired
would you believe ?
if my love begins with a r-u there
within my rhyme , r-you ?
I agonize sunrise-sets
I galvanize my felling
in crystalline halos
and auroras of
dazzling magnetic lights
enveloping my love for you
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 8:03 PM UTC
My lips kiss the heat in the air, pretending you're holding my swollen hips.
I'm hypnotized by your every move and word.
Yet you come and go like our diseases we hold.
The taste in my mouth burns back to my jaw,
so bitter and raw.
Yet when the sweet lyrics come out of your groin,
I'm back again.
So obedient, I'm disobeying my every lesson. Everything I tell myself not to do
but I'm there at every sound and every smile.
Then it turns cold in literal seconds, and my beaming drops to a hallow fall.
You gain and gain every last drop of my changing sleeves, the heart is hidden in this beast.
And I agonize over the idea that history has repeated myself.
What I swore I would do seems so child-like, that I'm tearing it away.
You're tearing me away, too. And you.
Because no matter how much I know your heart could love,
no matter how little softness you posses,
no matter how many miles separate us,
I'm still left so sharp, so bitter.
Apr 2, 2012
Apr 2, 2012 at 2:58 AM UTC
Sometimes even though I think I've healed
those scars still hurt.
Even all the happy days I have
some memory sticks its poison
and I die a little again
Even now I´m in love, with all my heart
and this love is wonderful!
Although I feel loved in body and soul
this pain manages to reach me
and plucks my wings a little.
Is part of healing, right?
Die from time to time
agonize with some anguish
that… an old wish, one very rooted in our soul
take away our peace, erase our smile
Is part of healing, right?
And it takes time…
it really takes time…
And I think that from now on
my life is going to be the most similar as I had dreamed.
I woke up and that there's no reason to be blind again
But… even all...
and as happy as I can be
there are some things that always will hurt…
I think there's not enough time to them to stop hurting,
because is not possible to erase in the map of our soul,
something that we wished from our core
Lets see…
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 11:47 AM UTC
Yearning
Longing
Thirsty
Hungry...
Crave
Covet
Ache for
Lust after...
Pine for
Agonize over
Plead
Need...
Wish
Want
Indulge
Relish...
Want some more.
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM UTC
"the encompassment of these words is stunning; existential angst in a fruit, or section thereof hurtling into space. makes sense though, if i lived in a runaway time capsule, i'd want fruit too, perfect or no. nice poem"
Say what?
Take a noun and make it noun-er.
Take philosophy and dress it down.
Take a fruit, an orange, section it, throw it into space, then agonize over its rightness of being.
Thee musn't feel that one's overuse of semi-archaic phrases and punctuation lessens the actuality of the expression being made. Indeed, it serves only to encapsulate the soundness of thine understandingness and thine expressions of agreement-oneness with the effervescent bubbliness needed to attract one's readers to continue with their reading of one's liturgy of the meaningfulness of the outerworlds and innertimes. Throw in Gaia, underworlds, swords and flames. Trees with names. socks with shoes. Oftentimes these travel through the continuum side by side, yet unencumbered with knowingness of the other, unembraced by the unembraceable.
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 2:39 AM UTC
I mourn for me
because mourning is all I feel.
I mourn the souls forgone
lost brethren denied the dawn of a new day
I mourn the aborted children
lights of the world shinning
only in the beyond.
I mourn for the breast that never gave suckle
to a child
and the child that never ****** breast.
I mourn for broken homes
The genesis of a rotten society.
I mourn for children and graduates
on the streets chasing vehicles
and turning to our own Usain Bolt.
I mourn youths basking
in the decadence of morality.
I mourn the ideology
that everyone MUST go to school.
Creativity lies dead
and a certificate is the only aim in our head.
I mourn because of what I see on TV
Vixens displaying **** bodies like CV
I mourn for my sisters, aunties cousins nieces;
Victims of domestic violence.
I mourn because they agonize in silence
I mourn for inmates in cells,
Cells worse than hell;
I mourn for those innocent crimes
those locked up for a little fine.
I mourn for creative minds
discouraged by the webbed hands of piracy.
I mourn for the Fallen Giant, NIGERIA,
chained hands and feet,
Master of corruption
and slaves of procrastination.
I mourn the incessant fuel scarcity,
half baked graduates
from the substandard oven
of our varsities.
I mourn 'cause we have lost the way.
These are what I mourn for,
I mourn for this and more..........
when will yonder future
glue back dreams with suture?
shattered dreams is what I mourn for
being amidst sorrows that hollow our fellow.
I mourn for war victims
in Gaza, Syria and Nigeria
that wakes not with joy.
look at that girl and boy
their bloods spilled on our soil.
I mourn for you, my queen and Roy.
with piety I pray thee sweet eternity.
I mourn for forgotten souls
What does yonder holds for us?
I mourn lost heroes;
those that sleeps with saddened pillows.
I mourn
I mourn,
how many wake
to see the dawn?
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 8:06 AM UTC