There is nothing I would like to say, that would make it easier in a way.

There is nothing I leave behind, empty my room, there is nothing you will find.

                                 Maybe a lighter or two, a handwritten note that I wrote two years ago. There is

nothing I can say that would make you understand,

and there is no one you could ask because no

one has asked me. I have not told anybody what

I hear when I am sleeping, or what I need to do

to go to sleep. There is no high road, I’m

burned out. This is not to be selfish,

no. This is to be a decision pondered

and walked upon before, but never finished. This

is not for anyone, or against anyone. This is purely

for me. You think I did not think about this for

years? Wondered how they would feel? Ending my

own suffering to enter an unknown afterlife so that my

pain will cease to exist for me, but spread to

everyone else. I sat for hours seeing the sights

of what they would see. The point

of it all is simple and has been thought of before.

This is not fair, yes I know. No there

Is nothing you could have done.

No there is nothing you did. It is

Simply my own mind playing tricks on me, resulting in

Hearing things I do not want to hear, seeing

Things I do not want to see, forgetting things I

Do not want to forget, remembering things i tried so hard

To forget.

You see, I forgot that I was myself this morning and

Accidentally called someone by my own name. I forget

Sometimes that I am me.

I cannot stand to live in the body I  have been given, and

What is the point of life when you do not have a purpose? I

Know. nothing. I am not all-knowing

I do not want to defy you. I am scared. I am afraid. I do not know what to

Do at this point in my life, or in five years to come. You

Believe I know everything don’t you? I may

Be the son of what I’ve done, but I am not you at your age.

Me and you would not have gotten along

This I know because I do not thing my ego is large, and I

Do not believe that you saw bees and shadows crawl across your room and

Fly in your ears. I do not believe you had to knock on your head

Until a thought disappeared

And if you had to,

Then I am sorry, because i do

And you did not do what i am about to do

Therefore, you are stronger than me.

I do not want to go on.

All I want to is say one last thing.

I am sorry for ******* up.

I am sorry for not being someone you can show off,

A stock daughter, perfect attendance, a hundred

Awards,

Someone who got off their ***

And made some sort of difference.

I am sorry I fought, and cried

I am sorry that I let you down in every single way

I am sorry I did this.

It’s not you.

And it’s not me

I just feel like things are not

How they’re meant to be

These aren't *** stains
From past lovers who have
Left me
Nah
They're where I've laid in my tears,
Snot, and spit
From crying too **** hard.
I need help.

Poetry does not have to be beautiful.
Your poetry is yours and yours alone.
It doesn't have to rhyme or
Make someone happy,
Cause not all poetry is happy.
And not all poetry is about something
So simple
That a rhyme could do justice.

I could run away or stay
Living like a moth to a flame.
I always try to chase the light,
But the light has burned out.
And these days I'm stuck in old ways,
So where a light used to be
Is where I sit patiently
In the dark
Hoping for a flickering flame.

I sit in the back seat
Dealing, with such a
Gut wrenching feeling.

My mom is in another car,
On the way to the airport.
A game of sorts,
You gotta play with the law.
**** up, and you could lose it all.

You could say "**** 12"
But you don't really feel that hate
Until you or your friends are in cuffs.
You could say you miss someone,
But you don't feel that pain
Until you won't ever see them again.

I'm lucky I know,
I'll see you again.
We're lucky, we know
We could be in permanent cuffs.
Till then, we hold our breath
And pray he won't be.

Everytime something happy happens,
I find myself worrying about
What might happen next.

For example, twas an early day,
Writing ******* poetry with words like "Twas" "Was" "is" or "as"
Things seemed to be deemed good
For at least a week or two.

Low and behold,
The wound.
The inevitable part of life that Happens when everything
Is goin' good.

So twas' the night before the wound,
A jaded child lay
Unaware of the doom.

I did myself today
Woke up and felt okay
I did myself today
Stood up and put on perfume
I did myself today
Walked out and felt okay
I did myself today
Broke down and made this..song