The lights went out,
As I put on my seatbelt
I've got to get out town
Everything surrounds me now
Tourists cry, I hear their moans

This is my city, I feel her bones
Some tragic accident, leading to
My mothers call
She asked if I was okay,
It wasn't on the news at all
Well, I have a job
9 to 5
I slave of all
Traffic lights
No shine at all
Grocery stores sell ciggarettes
Case of beers in bars
Are drunk tonight
Under cellphone lights
With no neon lights
My friends are out
And I'm alone
Flipping breakers
In my home
Hoping that it's just me
I forgot to pay the bill, no

Now it's 9 o'clock on the west side,
The police they roar and pass me by
I'm stuck at these **** traffic lights
Guided by the waves of hands and
Fathers, brothers, sisters, then who
Wished they were at home oh
I'm on 46th, tonight, seeing if it's all alright
Restaraunt row, and theatre shows
The show must not carry on
Street performers hear no dance
No light to attract the tourists
that pay their bills
The only light I see tonight
Comes from my own headlights
The moon above and police flashlights
Well, I'm on my way home tonight.

Well, tubes of trains
With people in,
Stop and screech on 59th
The stations all have gone to hell
"Am I going to sleep here?"
No, workers come to rescue us
But everyone was so polite,
Somehow they knew what to do
The erratic ride that night had been

All art had stopped,
Theatres never showed their shows
And concerts did not go on, but
The wondrous thing, about these things
Is not that they did not go on no,
It's that with the power of these arts
Fans gathered outside, in the darkness of this time,
They made the shows go on still in
Hallways, sidewalks, and
That is the thing, that amazes me still
Art can make better, blackout cancelled shows

So
The lights went back on,
As I took off my seatbelt
I've got to go back home
Everything surrounds this town
Tourists they cried, I heard their moans
That's the thing in my city,
"It's New York, we're used to things like this."

I saw old family members
At the theatre today.
He's growing up so fast,
Yeah it seems just like yesterday.
You didn't see me,
But I sure did see you.
I saw him clinging to your chest
Like years ago
I did.
I watched you pass me by
Without even glimpsing at my eye.
I'm like a shadow that conforms
To other strangers,
While you remain in my familiar faces.
We're supposed to stick out in crowds
To other family members, right?
I feel so alone,
I've never really been close to family.
My mother ruined any chance I had
To build a bond with anyone.
I want to message you and say
"Hey I saw you at the theatre today,
I meant to say hey but I just got
Too nervous to say."
I don't know if I should,
What if you saw me
And

You know what? This is *******.
**** this poem.
I need to focus.

A family friend recently
Gave me a Pillow
That I thought was so comfy.
She said "Please get this **** thing
Off my couch."
And I proudly accepted.
I brought it home, cuddled
Put my face to it's round corner
And breathed.
The smell this pillow Gave wasn't too Familiar, no.
It smelled like family movie nights,
Eating at dinner tables.
It smelled like missing a sibling,
But knowing they'll be home when you get there.
It smelled like affection from a tired mother, And falling asleep on her chest.
The smell, not so familiar
Sent me chills
Because the round corners smelled like Everything I crave.
The soft, tender touch of a hand,
And knowing it's not of judging intent.
The smells upon this pillow
Reminding me that
I don't have a way to satisfy my
Craving.

In a moment when
You realize you would
Give your life for someone
Just so they could live,
You realize you can't.

Does the sun shine after the rain?

I want to,
But I won't.
I need a
Little smoke
But I won't
Cause gettin' it
Means getting up
And once I'm up
My world just flips
Right back down
As I fall too
Into a thousand curtains
Hiding me from what
I want to see
A window where
It's warm outside
But pressing my cheek against
The fabric seems to be enough
I've got to run
But I walk
And the talk of something new
Brings hope for something worse
And confidential lullabies
Sing me to sleep tonight
I'll call you on the phone and say
"I'm good, what about you?"
And you'll say "Good"
And we'll talk for hours repeating same lines
And avoiding the part where you tell me
You are driving to clear your mind
Cause bruises stay sore
And you never tell me anything anymore