you used to look at me
like all the stars
were secrets locked in my heart
you used to look at me
as if the sun slept in my bed
and the moon woke us up
you used to look at me
like even when i messed up
it was beautiful, and faultless
and these nights spent with you
were elaborate and endearing
and being with you was like a spell
or a hidden track on an album
your voice whispered to me in the warm wind
but summer is coming to a close
and those longing looks of love
and glances and winks of infatuation
are fading

she's not here, but she's all you can think about
and you say her name like it's a charm
and look away from me because you know
it's a poison
she's not here, but she's all that matters now
and suddenly,
everything is different
i don't have the stars locked away
their twinkling lights are not out of reach
suddenly i am a second option
i was your appetizer and never your real love
i will never be your real love
so i'll say goodbye to this affair and walk away
a completely changed person
and suddenly everything is different

its been a long time since I've seen him
over a year
but it feels like just yesterday
i was sitting in that mustang
driving to fast
thinking i was going to die
and then he grabbed my thigh
looked me in the eye
and asked
are you scared?
but i wouldn't dare tell the truth
i looked back and said
no, not with you

your red hair tangled in my hands
your blue eyes glued on me

september

i'm so
d r e a m y
when i'm with you
everything is glowing
everything is bright
d r e a m y
i'm so

gold lights light the city
the softness in the curves of your face
remind me of the security in innocence
you take a flower off a tree
dangling right above your gold head
and you put it in my hair
gently as if everything were made of glass
when the petals are in my hair
you call me angel
i take your hand in mine
you kiss me on the forehead
i feel like gold when i am with you
i feel like you, and you are my treasure
you are gold

she is still living
just (barely) existing
because this book
is her only friend
and she doesn't know why
she's still trying
but she's still trying
and trying
and trying
and trying
but no matter
how hard she tries
her plans still cancel
she is always left alone
will she always be alone?