Each night we go to bed
With sheets made of ice and blankets of lead

Each night we try to sleep
With a wall at our backs built from secrets we keep

Each day we rise and then
We step onto the stage till it's bedtime again

For you I'd settle down
Maybe a little too low
Drag you to the ground
Drain your spirit slow
            
For you I'd rise above
Maybe a bit too high
Drag you by your love
Then
      drop
you
         from
the
      sky

I can't replace you
I can't erase you
Your prints are burned
Into my skin
The harder I scrub
The more you dig in

Eat my silence

Keep my words

Taste the violence

You've incurred

I wish I could fall out of the sky
into your arms
I wish that between you and I
there would never be harm
If you could exchange a penny for a wish what would it be
I wonder how many cents you would dish before it's me

I try not to be the bad that happens to good
people
But good intentions seem to be the only good I got

If I could ***** my life onto paper,
what would that look like?
If I could projectile my being into words,
how would it read?
If I could splatter myself on canvas
like the moonlight
Could I finally rip it up
and become me?

When I don't answer
There is no question
When I say nothing
Nothing was said
When I'm at ease
There is no tension
When I don't bleed
I can't see red

If you've never
loved
And you've never
lost
Then you've never
lived

I'm dying to live
Yet living to die
Like broth through a sieve
The undoing of I

A spotlight follows
Wherever I go
But It darkens my path
Instead of making it glow

Sometimes I wish I were dead
Or maybe in a box somewhere
You could keep me under the bed
Take me out
Dress me up
Give me air

Sometimes I wish I weren't here
Or maybe in a tree somewhere
You could shake it and I'd appear
Check my pulse
Dust me off
Brush my hair

But most times I wish I were you
Or maybe on the moon somewhere
You could scream till your face turns blue
Bring it on
Do your worst
I won't care

They say you should keep your enemies closer than you keep your friends
Good thing I go to bed with myself every night

I wish I never met you

I wish I could forget you

I hate saying I regret you

But you hurt me and I let you

I won't dangle
I won't sway
I'll make sure it snaps right away
I'd rather break
Than learn to bend
At least I know
How it will end

They said my hand is a weapon

Because it's covered in dirt

So put it away

Before someone gets hurt

They claimed my head is a bomb

Cuz they hear it tick tock

So you best just stay put

Instead of risking a walk

They said my tounge is a sword

Quite deadly but small

So I finally agreed

And beheaded them all

You know you don't belong anywhere
when
in a vat of misfit stew you find you're
the only one clinging to the
spoon

You say more with your tone than your

tongue

But it's your silence that I hear the

most

When we touch I can feel you go

numb

How are you so far away yet so

close

Death is for the living
Only those lucky enough to see
The next sunrise understand its full Implications
It is final
It is merciful
It is forgotten

Beware the silent woman
The one who doesn't speak
The one who bites her tounge
And poses like she's meek

Although her body's still
And her mouth is stitched up tight
She's using all her will
To muster up a fight

And though her face is ashen
With her eyes fixed on the floor
Her heart is full of passion
And her soul ready to roar

Oh, beware the silent woman
The one you thought you knew
She'll explode at any moment
And leave you deaf when she gets through

I tried
I'm spent
I give up
I relent

I quit
I'll just stop
I can't stand
I just flop

I'm broke
I'm a mess
I've no *****
I regress

I've failed
I won't fight
I'm lost
I can't write

I lay down at night in my bed all alone and my thoughts turn to you
Your bones were worn and your flesh a bit marked, certainly not brand new

And sometimes you creaked as I found my place between your shoulder and your arm
I remember feeling like we were all that exists and that I could never be harmed

Your rhythmic breath soon turned into a roar that rumbled up from the deep
And it comforted me with its familiar sound and lulled me right to sleep

Now as I lay wide eyed on a pillow top that may as well be cement
And crisp new sheets that rough up my skin I wonder where you went

Those days are long gone and I know it's my fault as I toss and turn all night
And a flowering quilt that came out of a box is all that holds me tight

Do I have to change in order to get "likes"
Is my style uncool or not expressive enough
Should I write about mountains and wind kissed flowers
Should I write like I read a thesaurus for hours
I admit it gets frustrating to get 500 views
And out of all that maybe 10 "likes" or few
Maybe I should write about love and falling trees
Maybe I should write like I would never speak
To me poems should be appeasing to the brain and the ear
Instead of sounding like a wannabe Shakespeare
I am who I am and I'll continue to write
But not about misty dawns or the pale moonlight

I wish you'd go away
I'm tired of your voice
I hear it night and day
As though I have no choice
It's been over a year
Since I last saw your face
You looked just like a deer
But I was froze in place
I'm sure you've since moved on
While I dribble out this trite
And my voice is long gone
Like a black cat in the night

Why am I always afraid
I just don't know why
Is it cuz this bed I've made
Feels like a coffin in the sky

Floating over crowds alone
I never feel connected
This place doesn't seem like home
And I always get rejected

I may look human just like you
With two legs underneath
Two arms that don't know what to do
Wrapped round me like a sheath

A mouth that opens, words come out
Sometimes in a faint whisper
Other times I scream and shout
In the mirror at my sister

Two eyes that blink but do not see
A nose that does not smell
A feeling I'm not meant to be
And that this must be hell

If so then why is no one here
And I'm the only one
I feel my heart swollen with fear
And I just turn and run

Why am I always afraid
I can't figure why
Is it cuz this bed I've made's
My coffin in the sky

I latched onto the beast as it took off with a pounce
And I gave all I had pound for pound ounce for ounce
And just as I thought I had reached the beast's head
I looked up and was under the belly instead

Shapeless like a monster in the sky
Tilted like a glass eye
Howling like a creature at the moon
Reaching for my spoon

All I ever wanted
Was to be a silver bride
And to hope he doesn't notice
The dead girl at his side
All I ever needed
Was the will to be baptized
So they could rinse me of my failures
In the waves of a red tide

Faceless like a stranger in the night
Clutching my heart tight
Hiding like a vampire from the sun
Reaching for my gun

All I ever wanted
Was to be a purple bride
And we could have the little funeral
On a crumbling mountainside
All I ever needed
Was the will to be chastised
Then I could wash away my suffering
In the waves of a red tide

To the child I'll never know
I wish I could've watched you grow
And maybe I'd have grown myself
Maybe finally got some help
What should feel like a blessing
I can't keep from second-guessing
And the voices in my head
Have filled my heart and soul with dread
There are so many what-ifs
I can't promise life's a gift
I'm sorry I was not prepared
And instead I was plain scared
You'll never run or laugh or play
You'll never live to see one day
And as awful as it seems
You were only just a dream
Cuz what my mother couldn't do
Is what I'm going to do for you...
To the child I never knew